How long can you stay natural for?

Discussion in 'Hair Care Tips & Product Review Discussion' started by haircare4life***, May 3, 2010.

  1. haircare4life***

    haircare4life*** Well-Known Member

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    Hi,
    it's a bit intimidating as a newbie starting new threads, hope y'all appreciate this but here it goes anyway (if not i enjoyed reminiscing i guess)

    Not sure if this thread has been done already as i tried to do a search but it didn't work... anyhow if it has this is a chance for me to share my story and ask a few questions...

    Questions are in bold if you don't feel like reading this whole thread - i talk alot can't seem to narrow it down :look:

    I just wanted to know the longest time (yrs) people had been natural for. From what i have gathered from the board (forgive if wrong) that most people are newly natural, at most a couple of years or transitioning. It seems that people don't stay natural for long. I also wanted to know what causes multiple transitioning, what tempts people to go back to chemicals.

    I will start with my experiences... so i was 19 (still 19 btw - experimented alot this year) i had been natural all my life but i decided to experiment first of all with texturising and now texlaxing. It had taken me till i was 16 to finally appreciate natural hair - i wanted to relax but my mum decided i should stay natural until i was mature enough to make a decision and believed that by that age i would realise natural was the way to go - and she was right.

    So i was curious to know how getting chemicals felt and the whole relaxing experience, that tingle on the scalp when getting chemicals - i wanted that :blush:

    So i decided to go ahead with the logic being really, how long can someone with my type of hair be natural for? it had to happen one day so why not do it now. I love being texlaxed because of the manageability, i have a few issues with my face so i prefer too keep one side of it covered and as a natural the shrinkage was unbearable, i found myself flat ironing it numerous times i one day; now it's burnt and damaged so i am glad i have texlaxed it now so i don't have to do this now. (btw - i am more natural than relaxed percentage wise) I never ever forsee myself ever being relaxed in my life, but natural again -who knows?
     
  2. glamazon386

    glamazon386 Well-Known Member

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    Uhh you can be natural forever if you want to. :look: Obviously some people have been natural their whole lives. I see you have that listed in your siggy.

    But as far as multiple attempts at transitioning and returning to chemicals - that's going to vary for each person. Everyone's hair is different. Some people return to chemicals for manageability reasons, tangles, knots, style preferences, shrinkage, etc.

    Also, many BW didn't choose to relax their hair. The choice was made for them when they were a child. Some people don't know what their natural texture looks like or how to take care of it because they don't remember. They may have never had to style their hair in it's natural texture. Some people choose to go natural later in life to be able to explore that option.

    Lastly, natural hair has not been the norm for BW in the US for centuries. We were conditioned to believe our hair is ugly in it's natural state and that it is shameful to be seen in public like that. In some sectors, natural hair isn't considered acceptable. Some women are concerned about how they will be perceived with natural hair. And that's only after they get over actually going through with the BC to have not only short hair but also kinky hair. Some people return to the relaxer because they haven't "mentally transitioned" just yet.

    Natural hair is just becoming mainstream. I honestly think it's because we are moving toward a more green society. I wonder if the scales will ever tip and there will be more naturals than relaxers but we'll see.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  3. Nasdaq_Diva

    Nasdaq_Diva New Member

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    I got my first relaxer at age 13. Transitioned to natural on my 20th birthday. I'm 27 now and have been au natural almost 7yrs. I will NEVER get another relaxer again. Yes, I know folks say, "never say never..." well, NEVER!! LOL
     
  4. Aviah

    Aviah Active Member

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    I transitioned twice. I know of people who never relaxed their hair. The reason I relaxed after my first transition, was because I didn't know what to do with natural hair, and wanted to blow dry it straight all the time. Obviously not a good idea.
    So I relaxed, and grew it out a little, then decided with all the info on here I would go natural again. Its really specific to each person why they go back to chemicals, or choose not to use them. For me I like the versatility of my natural hair better than relaxing, though having relaxed hair was not a problem for me.
     
  5. Nonie

    Nonie Well-Known Member

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    I have been natural for about 30 years of my 40 years of living. I relaxed somewhere in the middle and have no plans of relaxing again. So I'll be natural for 200 years or so.

    What makes people transition often is they go into transitioning clueless of what having natural hair is like (because they never have had to deal with it, having been relaxed all their life) or deluded into thinking that their texture will look like their favorite hair idol and then are horrified to find it doesn't behave the same way. Or they transition without really getting acquainted with their hair and get overwhelmed when they BC and have a lot of "unfamiliar hair" after a long transition; or get frustrated trying to figure out what works because they BC'd too fast and hadn't prepared for the "new hair".

    There are people on the forum who have always been natural all their life regardless of hair texture. Not sure what your texture is, but considering that that is the hair that God gave you, you can be natural for life if you want.
     
  6. sweetpuff

    sweetpuff New Member

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    hello :)
    i'll try to be straight foward.

    longest I've been natural: 12 years. from birth. normal experience. was afraid of the comb. mom used to say I had a lot of hair.

    what would tempt me to go back to relaxed:
    manageability maybe. the only reason I stopped relaxing was because I did not want to go through the chemical process anymore.

    What causes multiple transitioning: never did that.
     
  7. haircare4life***

    haircare4life*** Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the quick reply ladies

    That's what i thought but yano how much pressure i had from family members and close friends to use chemicals, they were shocked because in their head it was unheard of - people being natural all their life, my mum said i could be natural all my life if i wanted but even for me it just didn't seem a reality as chemicals is what black people 'do' i felt like an exception and now i am wondering now that i have fallen in love with texlaxing what could push be into making a choice to be natural again.
     
  8. Mz.MoMo5235

    Mz.MoMo5235 Well-Known Member

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    forever!!!!! i will never relax again!!!

    i got my 1st relaxer at like 15 and bout 4 or 5 yrs ago i stopped. i transitioned for like 2 yrs and did mini chops along the way.

    i hated relaxing and hated my relaxed hair. i only relaxed because i thought i HAD to in order to wear certain styles and maintain them. now i love my texture and i work with it instead of against it. so i have no reason to go back. i dont miss the tingle. i dont miss the scalp burns. i dont miss the quarter and nickel sized pieces of scalp pealing of (though i did enjoy picking them, but that's another story lol). i dont miss having limp hair that didnt do crap. i dont miss having a crunchy nape. i dont miss having my head smell like chemicals. i dont miss running from water and freaking out about humidity.

    i do miss the actual ritual of getting a relaxer. kinda like getting your nails done you know. but when i want that feeling... i go get my nails done or eyebrows threaded lmao
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  9. Renovating

    Renovating Well-Known Member

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    I think one can be natural regardless of hair type as long as one chooses. Usually when someone says one type of hair is not manageable, it's because they're trying to treat their natural hair like relaxed hair or another hair type. Personally, I think all hair is manageable, as long as you're doing what's required for that particular type of hair.
     
  10. belldandy

    belldandy New Member

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    Looking for conditioner :)
    :lachen::lachen::lachen:
     
  11. Sharpened

    Sharpened A fleck on His Sword

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    I hate getting my hair done...absolutely hate it! I can count the number of times I have had braids (as an adult) on one hand. Nappy for 15 years and nappy for life.
     
  12. Mz.MoMo5235

    Mz.MoMo5235 Well-Known Member

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    lol what!!! i know i'm not the only one who would sit, watch tv and pick at their head!!! :lachen::lachen::lachen: its not weird... nasty? yes! weird? no lol at least i dont think so lmao :spinning:
     
  13. lilsparkle825

    lilsparkle825 New Member

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    You know a texturizer is a relaxer, right? Just wanted to point that out since you said you could never see yourself with a relaxer -- technically, you're not natural. Texlaxed just means you didn't process it to bone straight.

    Hypothetically, one can be natural all her (or his) life....my mom was natural for the first 25 years of her life, then got a relaxer from her coworkers as a "birthday present", then went back natural at the age of 52 with my sister and I. I had a relaxer for about 7 years before I transitioned, and my sister had one for about 4 years before her transition. We all have different hair types and ALL find our hair easier to manage as naturals. I don't know too many people on here who relapse, but there are definitely a few.
     
  14. Nasdaq_Diva

    Nasdaq_Diva New Member

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    Nah, you not the only one. I used to pick my scabs too...smh..looking at the scabs was an amber color. Sometimes it was dark :wallbash: So thankful I gave that mess up!
     
  15. coolsista-paris

    coolsista-paris Well-Known Member

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    let me share my story. I got relaxed at the age of ten. so i thought it was the only way to do hair and continued...till i grew. My grandma and aunts kept saying "your hair was so long when you were young,what happened"..;(it was long and i was fustrated) but just relaxed anyway). I already started thinking about going natural, but was afraid to do so...until i went to my hairdresser got relaxed and burnt!! that was the 7th of december 2007. i said "OK THATS ENOUGH". i transitionned and thought " maybe my hair will grow better being natural, it might be easier for me, lets try" and guess: my hair weardly is growing better. plus i love rocking my fro ad trying stuff with the volume i never had being relaxed. Well as someone said aboce "never sau never "but NEVER will i relax again. no no no no no
     
  16. curlicarib

    curlicarib Lovin'' All of Me

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    Natural my whole life (40+ yrs). Brief relaxed period (approx. 3-6 months - against my mother's wishes) in my teens. HATED IT! So I shaved my head. Yes..........SHAVED.......BALD. And I loved it! Kept a TWA for the remainder of my high school/college days - it was the 80s/90s. Women with short hair was HOOOOOOT! And yes, I was, thank you very much.
     
  17. Triniwegian

    Triniwegian New Member

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    I have been natural all my life with exception of a few months, which lead to my transition in 2008.
    I plan to stay natural, I tried to perm just for the heck of it and found out very soon that it was not for me.
     
  18. choctaw

    choctaw New Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. ms.blue

    ms.blue Well-Known Member

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    This is my second time going natural. I was natural for two years and relaxed but went natural again after I did a forced bc. Right now I'm 28 months post relaxer (29 months this month) and 22 (soon to be 23) months since my bc and I pretty much going to stay natural hopefully for the rest of my life but short term goal is at least till thirty.
     
  20. AimWard

    AimWard New Member

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    I've been natural about 14 or 15 years and I haven't looked back even once.
     
  21. BlackMasterPiece

    BlackMasterPiece Well-Known Member

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    I'm not newly natural I've been natural most of my life my mom was one of the ones that didn't want to hear about caustic chemicals on her daughters head so I did it in my mid-teen yrs (against my mothers wishes) four yrs was enough for me. I transitioned once and I knew it was for life.

    There are several members here that have been natural for life.

    FYI if you have a texturizer, that means you're relaxed lol

    I hear you saying things that lean toward a notion that "natural hair is too difficult to manage"...My hope is that with research and exposure to proper care of coily hair on here, youtube and fotki, your perspective will change:yep:

    Good luck with everything and happy hair growing.

     
  22. IllustriousOne

    IllustriousOne Well-Known Member

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    I can stay natural forever. If I could go back in time, I would have never gotten a relaxer. My mom used to press my hair and it was just fine. There's no need for chemicals.
     
  23. Solitude

    Solitude New Member

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    nevermind....
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  24. Mz.MoMo5235

    Mz.MoMo5235 Well-Known Member

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    fully agree!!! :yep::yep::yep:
     
  25. BlackMasterPiece

    BlackMasterPiece Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't agree with you more on this entire post.....my mom was right all along:yep:
     
  26. KSand

    KSand New Member

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    I've been natural all my life also. My mom never allowed me to get a relaxer because when she got one it caused all her hair to break off. Unfortunately, I have been hiding my hair with the flat iron. LHCF is helping me to appreciate my kinks and curls (Black is Beautiful :yep:). I'm sure you'll be able to find some great styles/techniques/advice here to stay natural!
     
  27. haircare4life***

    haircare4life*** Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the responses and suggestions, too summarise...

    Lol ok too many people to quote made the comment about a texturiser being a relaxer, yes i do know its a mild relaxer but what i meant is i could never see myself having a bone straight relaxer as i love my curls and i have noticed people with straight hair with little to no curl pattern call themselves textlaxed, I'm sorry but i believe they are just relaxed straight or maybe slightly unprocessed but not texlaxed! so i just wanted to differentiate myself and hair from that.

    As too manageability, i never had a problem with my natural hair as i knew how to detangle gently and keep knots at bay even before i found the forums. However one can't deny that by having a looser curl pattern the comb seems to glide through easier well it is for me anyway.

    My hair type is thick (i don't think its the thickest but people with thick hair have told me so and people hate doing my hair for that reason) I am not sure about the type because it seems not quite an 's' or 'z' shape but somewhere in between :look:

    All this is making feel guilty for adding chemicals as i had no real reason for doing so, maybe i could have stayed natural but the notion of curiosity and the inevitability of black people getting relaxers made me decide otherwise. Also i don't regret the chemicals though but i see it as a phase, i am sure i will be back to natural one day.
     
  28. KCcurly

    KCcurly Well-Known Member

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    OP, I just think it's a shame that people feel that we have to get a relaxer, like there is no other option. I'm glad you're getting educated on the subject outside of the views of your family. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it will be a learning process.
     
  29. Pooks

    Pooks Well-Known Member

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    I've had natural since birth, and intend on it staying that way, it's all up to the individual. Strength of mind and determination may be necessary to overcome narrowminded people around you; the patience to learn the your hair's likes and likes are also very important.

    I was taught to love and embrace myself and all that being black meant from a young age, and that included hair that I called 'the furry beast' in my teens before I knew how to treat it. If it were up to my Mum I wouldn't even have ever used heat (yeah she was pretty much right about that too :lol: ).
     
  30. DarkVictory

    DarkVictory Well-Known Member

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    Been natural for 30 years.

    What is this "glide" of which you speak? :lachen:

    Many natural styles depend on NOT combing.

    Speaking just for myself here:
    Braidout/twistout/wash-and-go + comb = head looking like a lollipop dropped on a fuzzy, pilling sweater.

    Relaxed or natural, OP, good luck with your hair journey!
     

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