I feel your pain. I'm a 4a, and it's the hardest thing trying to get my hair soft once it dries . I have found that my hair doesn't like too many products. I found this out when I used Sta Sof Fro and Infusium leave in. Hot A$$ mess !! But, I washed it all out, conditioned with Garnier Fructis Moisture Works, then I did an oil rinse with African Pride (or one of those oils) then conditioned again with Garnier Fructis Moisture. It was very soft and is still soft at this moment, 16 hours later. Oh, I forgot to add that I applied Cantu Shea Butter Leave in to style it. Try it!