• We will be upgrading the forum, gallery and blogs with the latest versions of the software we use. This will cause some disruption. We will however try our best to minimize it. The maintenance will start the first week of May 2022 and will continue until all upgrades are completed (both software and hardware). Thank you for your understanding.

I Don't KNow If I Can Do This Anymore

JC-Junkie

Active Member
Some of your ladies may remember me saying that it took me 4 hours to detangle my hair. And with that you ladies offered me some great advice on how to detangle my hair. I also watched videos on You Tube on how detangle my hair. So after all this advice, I was feeling confident that I would be able to detangle my hair in the maximum time of an hour. So I bought a new wide tooth comb today and mixed some water in my conditioner to make it more slippery. The bottom right of my hair seemed to be going well,and the bottom left not so bad. However when I asked my brother what time it was he said 11 'o' clock. I had failed my attempt to detangle my hair within an hour because I started at 9:07. So I said let me do it in at least 2 hours. Then I continued to detangle my hair, getting more and more fustrated, but still managing to be somewhat gentle. Then I went to the living room where my mum had fallen asleep ( She didn't know I was still awake. My mum doesn't sleep untill everyone else is asleep so she can check up on them) and then she woke up to find me standing there with my hand in my hair crying. Yes I was crying !!! Not because it hurt, but because once again I had failed to do such a simple task as to detangle my hair ! I was and still am soooo annoyed with myself. I don't know what I am doing wrong but this is just not funny anymore. I finished detangling my hair at 12:40, 3 hours and thirty minutes after I had started! At least I had cut down half an hour. I hope you can hear my sarcasm. I feel like such a retard, because everyone else seems to be able to detangle their hair in no more than an hour and their hair is much longer than mine, I'm only grazing APL.
I love my hair, like REALLY love my hair, but if I can't do this, then I'm not gonna put myself through stress when I have university, job and life in general to worry about. Where I live, there are hardly, if any natural heads and so I wanted to be the one to show women and people in general that natural hair is just as beautiful. But how can I do that when I can barely handle my own hair ! And just to add insult to injury,I found about 10 broken hairs in the sink ......... I really wanted to slap myself at this point!
Does anyone know of any hair stylists that can actually teach me how to detangle my hair, or any advice or someone who can show me how they detangle?
Anyways ladies I'm out

TIA and HHG.
 

SEMO

Well-Known Member
((hug))

I can tell how upset you are. The best advice I ever got on detangling (read it on here years ago) was to not detangle dry hair (which can make it more difficult) and to try doing it in the shower while the water is running over your hair (after your hair has already been soaked with conditioner).

This method may not work for everyone, but it revolutionized the process for me. I don't have the same frustration that I used to. I hope you find what works best for you soon.
 
Last edited:

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
How wide is your wide tooth comb? How much water did you add? For me, I don't add any water to my conditioner. If it gets too thick, or not enough slip, I put water in my hand and run it through the section.

Lastly, did you work on this task in sections?!!!! That's the most important thing! If you did, how many sections did you make?
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
((hug))

I tell how upset you are. The best advice I ever got on detangling (read it on here years ago) was to not detangle dry hair (which can make it more difficult) and to try doing it in the shower while the water is running over your hair (after your hair has already been soaked with conditioner).

This method may not work for everyone, but it revolutionized the process for me. I don't have the same frustration that I used to. I hope you find what works best for you soon.

I don't have a shower so what I normally do is put my DC in and detangle like that.

How wide is your wide tooth comb? How much water did you add? For me, I don't add any water to my conditioner. If it gets too thick, or not enough slip, I put water in my hand and run it through the section.

Lastly, did you work on this task in sections?!!!! That's the most important thing! If you did, how many sections did you make?

I worked in 4 sections which I then slit each in half to make it easier but then I got scared that I would break my hair so I did it in even smaller sections. I wide tooth comb is about 0.5cm spaced between each tooth. And I added about 3 tablespoons of water to 250g of my DC.

I'm so sorry but I'm so desperate can you please help me.
 

bride91501

Well-Known Member
What kind of conditioner are you using? I've found that a conditioner with the right amount of slip can make all the difference in the world.

My 11 year old has EXTREMELY thick, coarse, mostly 4b hair that's APL, and it takes me less than 20-30 minutes to detangle her hair. I do it in 4-6 sections with a wide tooth comb, while her hair is soaked with conditioner.

Our main-stay conditioners are Suave humectant, Suave Naturals Almond Shea butter, & Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. And I ALWAYS add honey & oils to the conditioners- EVOO and castor oil mainly.

HTH!
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
I worked in 4 sections which I then slit each in half to make it easier but then I got scared that I would break my hair so I did it in even smaller sections. I wide tooth comb is about 0.5cm spaced between each tooth. And I added about 3 tablespoons of water to 250g of my DC.

Did you shampoo or co-wash your hair in the same sections? Or did you only move to sections when your hair was about to be detangled?

Dont' stress out! We've all had a hair crisis..or two, or three at some point during our hair journey! Don't give up!
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
eta: Is your wide tooth at least this wide?
 

LaFemmeNaturelle

Well-Known Member
How are you wearing your hair throughout the week? I NEVER let my hair tangle up too badly by keeping it in braids the majority of the time. Maybe you just havent found that RIGHT conditioner for your hair yet. There's only one conditioner I've ever tried that allows me to detangle in a short amount of time. Did you finger de-tangle first? I ALWAYS do this. Lastly, did you detangle BEFORE or AFTER you washed?
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
Yes my comb is about that wide. I just put the DC straight, I hadn't co-washed or shampooed my hair - my hair hates shampoo so I try to keep it to a minimum. When people say they work in sections do they mean they actually put the wide tooth comb in each section to detangle it ? I'm scared to do that so I do them in small sections as not to break my hair. I want to change my conditioner but I odn't know what to, and because everyones hair is different I haven't asked anyone for their opinion.
I'm so sorry I sound like such a loser to the point now where I'm actualy scared to touch my hair :(
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
How are you wearing your hair throughout the week? I NEVER let my hair tangle up too badly by keeping it in braids the majority of the time. Maybe you just havent found that RIGHT conditioner for your hair yet. There's only one conditioner I've ever tried that allows me to detangle in a short amount of time. Did you finger de-tangle first? I ALWAYS do this. Lastly, did you detangle BEFORE or AFTER you washed?

Most of the time I just wear my hair in 4 twists so I avoid getting tangles, I wash in these same sections as well. Maybe your right and I haven't found the right conditioner but I don't know where to start theres so many and everyones hair is different so I don't want to ask. I finger detangle my hair first which I think is the longest part. I detangled my hair while the DC was still in my hair.
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
Yes my comb is about that wide. I just put the DC straight, I hadn't co-washed or shampooed my hair - my hair hates shampoo so I try to keep it to a minimum. When people say they work in sections do they mean they actually put the wide tooth comb in each section to detangle it ? I'm scared to do that so I do them in small sections as not to break my hair. I want to change my conditioner but I odn't know what to, and because everyones hair is different I haven't asked anyone for their opinion.
I'm so sorry I sound like such a loser to the point now where I'm actualy scared to touch my hair :(

So, how are you detangling then? Im confused by what you wrote. Yes, when I say I work in sections, I break my hair down to 6-8 smaller sections. They are in loose braids. I start at the bottom, apply conditioner to that braid. I smooth the conditioner down the length of that 1 braid, then I unloosen that one braid. I start from the tip and work my way up to the base to the scalp. Once that is fully detangled, I re-loosely braid, then move onto the next loose braid.

Also, how are you cleansing your hair? Was your hair DRY when you decided to apply the DC to detangle? Besides the small amount of water you added to your conditioner, was there any water on your hair when you started?

Next time you decide to detangle, finger detangle your hair (again the 6-8) in sections. Apply shampoo/co-wash/DC to each section as you work through.

I would def. suggest you check out: Amazon.com: Grow It: How To Grow Afro-Textured Hair To Maximum Lengths In The Shortest Time (9780982068908): Chicoro: Gateway It's a great book that i highly recommend by a LHCF poster! This book really helped me out along my journey. Chicoro stresses cleansing/conditioning/moisturizing/sealing all in sections!
 

chebaby

Well-Known Member
i think what you should do is to continue to work in sections. you should spray each section with water and then slather in conditioner. do not dilute your conditioner with water. spray your hair with the water first. if you want to make your conditioner have more slip add oil. i would add coconut oil and evoo. after you slather your section in water, conditioner and oil begin to smooth your hair in a downward motion until you feel your hair softening and you think you can detangle with your fingers. after you detangle with your finger, go back and detangle with your comb and when you finish twist or braid the whole section and then move on to the next.
 

chebaby

Well-Known Member
the conditioners i recommend are:
oyin honey hemp conditioner
suave tropical coconut conditioner
aussie moist conditioner

mix these conditioners with coconut or evoo oil.
 

Tiye

New Member
You need to stop wearing your hair in tangle prone styles and that will take care of the problem. You could also stop washing your hair loose - braid it up first, wash and condition then take the braids down one at a time and detangle. Another option - braid your hair, put on a net then wash and condition. I'm betting you won't have much detangling to do if you try one of these ideas.
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
Most of the time I just wear my hair in 4 twists so I avoid getting tangles, I wash in these same sections as well. Maybe your right and I haven't found the right conditioner but I don't know where to start theres so many and everyones hair is different so I don't want to ask. I finger detangle my hair first which I think is the longest part. I detangled my hair while the DC was still in my hair.

Ok, I can't believe I jumped in and didn't ask for your regimen!

What products are you using and how often?

eta: Those 4 twists you are putting your hair may actually be encouraging tangling than not. I know for my hair too few twists/braids in my hair leads to issues.
 
Last edited:

hair4romheaven

Well-Known Member
Can you wash your hair in braids, let it dry 80% then detangle with a creamy leave in then braid it or twist it back up for styling, drying?
This is what I do.
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
JC-Junkie, :bighug:

OK would you be open to braiding instead of twisting? I just think that braids would help you keep your strands stretched and parallel to each other so that once you've detangled and combed through, you then stretch the hair taut and plait it thus locking strands in a stretched state. When it's time to wash, if you were to wet those braids, then combing through would be easy because the strands would be already parallel so shed hairs would just slide through. Also please get into the habit of stretching your hair before sliding a comb through.

I have never done fat twists. I think it takes a bit of work to get shed hair out of twisted hair than out of braided hair--especially if you're wearing them for long. But because I do very small sections, I am able to devote time to each one as I feel like it and ensure the strands are separated as well as they'd be if I combed with a fine toothcomb, only with fingers it's easier.

If you prefer twists, I would suggest you first stretch it in braids and then twist and do not wet it in twists. Not if they are that big.

Have you watched Kimmaytube video of her wash and detangling regimen? I wonder whether that would work for you. I haven't tried it but she makes it seem so easy.
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
My regimen is
I DC once a wek with Naked Boost mixed with amla oil and L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Treatment
Co-wash 2-4 times a week with Aussie Moist Conditioner
Moisturise my hair with my mix of water, EVOO, AND MY L'Oreal Ceramide Leave In
Baggy with my moisturiser
 

Lucky's Mom

New Member
I think you have been given great advice. I have lots of hair. I never wear it out - un less it is flat ironed. Period. I keep cornrows - braids or twists in - and wash it plaited or twisted..... conditioner... well I make my own - or use a few that I have to detangle.....Aloe vera and coconut oils are my best freinds. Good luck!
 

LaFemmeNaturelle

Well-Known Member
Yup I know everyone's hair is different and you definitely don't want to be a pj. Popular slippy conditioners never work for my hair but you are going to have to start trying something. Maybe you could search for sample sizes or maybe some ladies could send you samples of what they have.
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
My regimen is I DC once a week with Naked Boost Vitamin Treatment mixed with amla oil and L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Treatment
Co-wash my hair 2-4 time a week with Aussie Moist Conditioner
Moisturise every night with water,EVOO, and my L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Leave In
Baggy every night with my moisturiser in
 

LaFemmeNaturelle

Well-Known Member
My regimen is I DC once a week with Naked Boost Vitamin Treatment mixed with amla oil and L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Treatment
Co-wash my hair 2-4 time a week with Aussie Moist Conditioner
Moisturise every night with water,EVOO, and my L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Leave In
Baggy every night with my moisturiser in

There are the same products that you've been using? so I'm assuming that none of them give enough slip. So you would need to start trying new products. How do you co-wash? Do you finger detangle during your co-washes? I remember when I wasn't finger detangling during cowashing, my hair would be VERY tangled by the end of the week.
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
So, how are you detangling then? Im confused by what you wrote. Yes, when I say I work in sections, I break my hair down to 6-8 smaller sections. They are in loose braids. I start at the bottom, apply conditioner to that braid. I smooth the conditioner down the length of that 1 braid, then I unloosen that one braid. I start from the tip and work my way up to the base to the scalp. Once that is fully detangled, I re-loosely braid, then move onto the next loose braid.

Also, how are you cleansing your hair? Was your hair DRY when you decided to apply the DC to detangle? Besides the small amount of water you added to your conditioner, was there any water on your hair when you started?

Next time you decide to detangle, finger detangle your hair (again the 6-8) in sections. Apply shampoo/co-wash/DC to each section as you work through.

I would def. suggest you check out: Amazon.com: Grow It: How To Grow Afro-Textured Hair To Maximum Lengths In The Shortest Time (9780982068908): Chicoro: Gateway It's a great book that i highly recommend by a LHCF poster! This book really helped me out along my journey. Chicoro stresses cleansing/conditioning/moisturizing/sealing all in sections!

I cleanse my hair with herbal essenses beautiful ends and I do this every 3 weeks, and there was no water in my hair apart from the water I mexed with my conditioner.
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
Your right LFN but I'm soo scared of what the turn out might be. Ever since my detangling sessions have been like this I have actually been scared to even touch my hair
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
My regimen is
I DC once a wek with Naked Boost mixed with amla oil and L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Treatment
Co-wash 2-4 times a week with Aussie Moist Conditioner
Moisturise my hair with my mix of water, EVOO, AND MY L'Oreal Ceramide Leave In
Baggy with my moisturiser

What do you use to cleanse your scalp? After so long, the products + cowashing will cause a build up. Also, I looked up the Naked Boost and the L'Oreal product reviews. These products look like they are protein based/strengthening. I think you need something more moisturizing instead of those mentioned.

Everyone's hairtypes/textures are different. Continue to do searches on what works for other naturals here on LHCF. I'll tell you what works for me:

Cleansing: Ayurveda powders (every few weeks I use bentonite clay)
Leave-Ins: Scurl, African Royale, Hawaiian Silky (use only 1), then use Water, Any Condish, EVCO mixed
Moisturize: EVCO/WGO (extra virgin coconut oil/wheat germ oil)
Sealant: Castor Oil or Shea Butter

When I first started my natural journey, it took a while before I started to figure out what was working/wasn't for my hair. I know straight up EVOO gets no love from my hair! Amla oil is alright..though it likes to tangle some in my hair when I leave it in overnight.
 

Nasdaq_Diva

Well-Known Member
Your right LFN but I'm soo scared of what the turn out might be. Ever since my detangling sessions have been like this I have actually been scared to even touch my hair

None of us can really help much further if you're too scared to take the plunge and work with your hair. Like I said, it really is a journey..a learning process. Don't be afraid of your hair.
 

JC-Junkie

Active Member
There are the same products that you've been using? so I'm assuming that none of them give enough slip. So you would need to start trying new products. How do you co-wash? Do you finger detangle during your co-washes? I remember when I wasn't finger detangling during cowashing, my hair would be VERY tangled by the end of the week.

After my hair has dried from detangling it is in four twists so when I wash it like the nexy day I don't finger detangle it. I will definately try different products :)

What do you use to cleanse your scalp? After so long, the products + cowashing will cause a build up. Also, I looked up the Naked Boost and the L'Oreal product reviews. These products look like they are protein based/strengthening. I think you need something more moisturizing instead of those mentioned.

Everyone's hairtypes/textures are different. Continue to do searches on what works for other naturals here on LHCF. I'll tell you what works for me:

Cleansing: Ayurveda powders (every few weeks I use bentonite clay)
Leave-Ins: Scurl, African Royale, Hawaiian Silky (use only 1), then use Water, Any Condish, EVCO mixed
Moisturize: EVCO/WGO (extra virgin coconut oil/wheat germ oil)
Sealant: Castor Oil or Shea Butter

When I first started my natural journey, it took a while before I started to figure out what was working/wasn't for my hair. I know straight up EVOO gets no love from my hair! Amla oil is alright..though it likes to tangle some in my hair when I leave it in overnight.

Thank you very much. I'll get back to you on how it goes

Thank You All !! I'll let you on everything !

HHG Ladies !
 

LaFemmeNaturelle

Well-Known Member
After my hair has dried from detangling it is in four twists so when I wash it like the nexy day I don't finger detangle it. I will definately try different products :)



Thank you very much. I'll get back to you on how it goes

Thank You All !! I'll let you on everything !

HHG Ladies !

Do you know how much you shed on a daily basis? That would also cause tangles even if your hair is in twists. I keep my hair in 2 or 4 braids but because I shed so much on a daily basis, I try to remove the shed hair why is why I finger comb during co-washes (twice a week). So if you're a heavy shedder, you may have to finger comb when you co-wash otherwise the hair may stay trapped and tangle with your attached hairs. I THINK I've read that wetting hair thats already tangled makes it much worse.
 

NikkiQ

Well-Known Member
have you tried to pre-poo by coating your hair in an ample amount of EVOO or EVCO 24hrs before wash days? that helps out a lot with detangling as well.
 
Top