If you don't want long hair or believe your hair will grow why are you here?

[Tee]

Originally Posted by cmw45
With one key exception...the woman who started this thread didn't start it with the sole intention of subverting the goals of many women (not all) of the women on this board.

I would say the other thread in question amounts to going on to a site where all of the members dreams are to make it to the Olympics in swimming and who offer each other encouraging advice on how to shave down their times and then posting: "Most of the people aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics anyway, especially you people with short arms...I'm just sayin." So what if they aren't ever going to make it to the Olympics...it gives them something to work towards...and in the meantime they just might make it to nationals. As long as they are enjoying what they do, why do you care? I mean really?

I think the biggest problem with the thread in question is the tact that was used both in creating it and in the responses that were given to posters by the OP. I mean, if your goal is really to educate or create constructive discussion, why belittle people who question your position. The first few posters were incredibly civil and the OP just made fun of them.

ITA. I mean, I'd never go on a morbidly obesed weight loss forum with my trim little self and tell people that they aren't meant to be thinner so give up the shennanigans because they have genetics working against them. How would it look if I said "Yeah, look at all these trim folks around you-- they aren't eating healthy, running laps, and doing crunches all day long and they still weigh less than you! But look at you! Struggling just tryin' to lose a couple of pounds. Half of y'all have been on the forum trying to lose weight for years and you STILL FAT! Some of those people are going to have to work harder than the average Joe for what they want, and while some may never see a size 6 from where they are-- in the process they've still grown healthier and have made progress above what they had before. The same thing with our hair. It may never touch the floor, but it may have improved by leaps and bounds above what it was before.

Newbies are impressionable. I certainly was. If I saw a post by a member who'd been around the block a bit-- I was all ears. Their words were gold. If I'd seen a thread by a seasoned member who said the equivalent of Face it folks why are we even trying? All this and we still aren't keeping up with Becky and Samantha 'nem. I would feel discouraged. If she's been here all this time and believes this and have 50-leven cosigners, I have friends and family who spew out the same, then what is the point of me even bothering here?

I Love both of these post ladies. So true.
Great points also SugaRose. I just love the analogies you ladies give!

 

[Yellowflowers]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Let the church say Amen! I am always puzzled at these kinds of posts.

What would motivate someone to come on a long hair care forum and take the time out to post that they don't want long hair.

I also think it might be discouraging to some who are willing to work at taking care of thier hair.

We can never accomplish anything if we are not willing to work for it. Too many have already done so.

I firmly believe that you must never listen to someone who talks about what can't be done.

To those who are determined, don't give up. If you are willing to work at it and apply the correct techniques, you can achieve lengths beyond your wildest dreams. I am a living breathing witness.

Ignore those posts. If these posters don't want long hair, I don't think many people care or need to know.

 

[MzOptimistic]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Tell em girl

 

[coconow2007]

Just thumbing through some of these threads I just have to ask: If you don't want long hair, are tired of extensive hair routines and products, and/or you don't believe your hair will grow why are you here?

Why pay your 5 bucks a year and waste your time reading threads if you don't believe in the fundamental concepts that this board is founded upon.

Honestly, with all the beautiful progress picks showing quick and lovely growth and the women on the board with long beautiful hair of ALL types is there really any reason to doubt.

Yet, no one chained you to the key board at this site. If you don't like the concept or don't agree then move along to something else.

No one is paying for the stereotypes and negativity. To me this board has always been about breaking black hair stereotypes. And it's simply about learning about different products and techniques that are working for others.

So if you're not feeling the long hair game or this board then move along. But don't piss on the parade of those of us who are here to learn and share in a positive way.

Chayil

Thank you - well said

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

all this drama is too hot for my keyboard! :swordfigh

 

[CurleeDST]

I would say we AAs are our own worst enemy sometimes. We seem to THRIVE in negativity and spewing out things we feel are impossible under the guise of keeping it real or telling the truth. That definitely sets limits on what we can achieve and keeps the vicious cycle of negativity and finite possibility in full effect.

Dream BIG to achieve BIG and put all the haters behind thee! You can do it!

 

[MJ]

My response:

Whether you believe you can do a thing or you believe you can't, you are right

- Henry Ford

 

[napgurl]

I would say we AAs are our own worst enemy sometimes. We seem to THRIVE in negativity and spewing out things we feel are impossible under the guise of keeping it real or telling the truth. That definitely sets limits on what we can achieve and keeps the vicious cycle of negativity and finite possibility in full effect.

Dream BIG to achieve BIG and put all the haters behind thee! You can do it!

Powerful observation. But do you really believe her intent was to be negative? I'm not so sure. But I do know that I am tired of the "keep it real" limited mindset. Thanks CurleeDST.

 

[Divake22]

Powerful observation. But do you really believe her intent was to be negative? I'm not so sure. But I do know that I am tired of the "keep it real" limited mindset. Thanks CurleeDST.

Great observation...in general I am tired of people who have to constantly "keep it real." It is not a pass to be rude, condesending (sp?) and/or belittling.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Great observation...in general I am tired of people who have to constantly "keep it real." It not a pass to be rude, condesending (sp?) and/or belittling.

Say it one more time because I don't think that they heard you !!!!!!! People feel that "keep it real" is a pass to say whatever the heck they want without consequence and that isn't right.

 

[nikkivale]

Say it one more time because I don't think that they heard you !!!!!!! People feel that "keep it real" is a pass to say whatever the heck they want without consequence and that isn't right.

Not to get off topic but Blackout, but you have the prettiest smile

 

[Maynard]

ITA with this entire post.

I found this story online. I've heard different versions of this stories as a child, but I like this one for today.

Discouragement - A Tool of the Devil
By: Author Unknown
Once upon a time it was announced that the devil was going out of business and would sell all his equipment to those who were willing to pay the price.

On the big day of the sale, all his tools were attractively displayed. There were Envy, Jealousy, Hatred, Malice, Deceit, Sensuality, Pride, Idolatry, and other implements of evil display. Each of the tools was marked with its own price tag.

Over in the corner by itself was a harmless looking, wedge-shaped tool very much worn, but still it bore a higher price than any of the others. Someone asked the devil what it was, and he answered, "That is Discouragement."

The next question came quickly, "And why is it priced so high even though it is plain to see that it is worn more than these others?"

"Because," replied the devil, "It is more useful to me than all these others. I can pry open and get into a man's heart with that when I cannot get near him with any other tools. Once I get inside, I can use him in whatever way suits me best. It is worn well because I use it on everybody I can, and few people even know it belongs to me."

This tool was priced so high that no one could buy it, and to this day it has never been sold. It still belongs to the devil, and he still uses it on mankind.

Thank you for sharing this. It is important that we dont let the "devil" discourage us from accomplishing our goals.

Although the OP's may not have "meant" for things to go a certain way, the road to hell is paved with "good intentions"

 

[Integrity]

*ahem*...where is she now?

 

[Ladyhenri]

Excellent thread
A few weeks after i joined LHCF, i saw the thread started by MizaniMami about some people being here for long and still not reaching their hair goals.

It was the most disturbing thread i have read here. The Op may not have realised the impact her thread was going to have, but i was a newbie still feeling around (as soon as i saw the website, i signed on. No lurking for me) and was certainly very impressionable. I was seeing all these stunning heads of hair and thinking "wow, can my hair really ever look like that?"
Seeing that thread made me think, supposing only few 'special' black women can have long hair? Supposing this(joining LHCF) is all going to be a waste of time for me? Supposing i am going to be discussed by someone like the OP in a few years time as the girl whose hair still didnt grow?
I was extremely discouraged...
I made a decision that i would try LHCF recommendations for a few months and if i saw no progress, i'd go back to my heat addicted, weavaholic ways...I have since learnt a lot more and seen my hair grow for the first time ever....If i saw the same thread now, it'd still annoy me...but for different reasons....


That being said, the OP of this thread has hit the nail on the head. People with that kind of mindset should either (a) keep such discouraging views to themselves, (b) Tell others their own personal frustrations and not generalise them or (C) Not be here...too much negativity.

 

[Maynard]

Excellent thread
A few weeks after i joined LHCF, i saw the thread started by MizaniMami about some people being here for long and still not reaching their hair goals.

It was the most disturbing thread i have read here. The Op may not have realised the impact her thread was going to have, but i was a newbie still feeling around (as soon as i saw the website, i signed on. No lurking for me) and was certainly very impressionable. I was seeing all these stunning heads of hair and thinking "wow, can my hair really ever look like that?"
Seeing that thread made me think, supposing only few 'special' black women can have long hair? Supposing this(joining LHCF) is all going to be a waste of time for me? Supposing i am going to be discussed by someone like the OP in a few years time as the girl whose hair still didnt grow?
I was extremely discouraged...
I made a decision that i would try LHCF recommendations for a few months and if i saw no progress, i'd go back to my heat addicted, weavaholic ways...I have since learnt a lot more and seen my hair grow for the first time ever....If i saw the same thread now, it'd still annoy me...but for different reasons....


That being said, the OP of this thread has hit the nail on the head. People with that kind of mindset should either (a) keep such discouraging views to themselves, (b) Tell others their own personal frustrations and not generalise them or (C) Not be here...too much negativity.

I remember that thread....I was still lurking but I remember it well. I dont think it was the actual thread that had folks in a frenzy but,she had just reached BSL and had just posted that pic in her siggy and then she started that thread. I dunno.

I feel two ways: 1. Its a valid issue, that it may take longer for some of us to reach out goals, and it shouldn't matter how long your hair is when you ask the question or bring up the issue.

2. It can seem "catty" when you are in a "support" system and people throw out negative energy, whether they have made their goals or not.

What ever it be, that thread didn't discourage me. And neither will any future ones (I'm sure there are more to come) But I am not easily discouraged either! I am a "prove 'em wrong" chick all the way! I looked at that thread cross-eyed and kept on truckin'....