I’m embracing my nappy hair….

[Kinkyhairlady]

Why do folks have a problem with that?! I got into a huge argument with my cousin yesterday just cause I told her I love my hair and won’t be going back to relaxers ever. She tries to call me out and say that my hair is nappy and I am a hypocrite because I used to wear a relaxer. I have been relaxer free for two years and the reason why I don’t relax is because my hair was so damaged when I was. I am embracing the hair God gave me and I don’t care what noone thinks. Her mentality is if your hair is not soft/curly texture then you have bad hair. I told her good hair=healthy hair no matter if it is coarse or not. This girl went on a rampage and was cussing me out and what not, talking bout her blood pressure is rising and she got to go. Lol.

People are such a trip with this good hair bad hair thing, it is so darn annoying. Just cause I have accepted my hair and love it why are you going to hate on that? I think her issue is that she has not accepted her naps and she is mad that I am happy with mine. I swear folks will hate on anything, nappy hair, curly hair ,whatever the hair I guess if you love it they hate that you do. Smh


Since I have been natural a lot of the negative comments I get are from my own people which is sad. Every other race that sees me at work compliments my hair and are so fascinated with it but when you see a black sister she gives you that look or says oh why are you natural now. At first I felt uncomfortable but *** them all cause they are not doing anything for me. When my hair is long and natural I bet they will hate even more especially my cousin.

 

[hopeful]

Ooh chil' your cousin sounds like a trip. From here on don't waste your breath. You do you and let her do her. Life is too short to arguing about hair of all things.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Well you've risen above the system put in place to think any hair is good or bad unless if it's healthy, take the time to applaud yourself for that because it is a good first step

I think you're very right that people will hate regardless, I'm currently relaxed and I definitely have friends telling me that spending my time focusing on my own hair and putting so much energy into it is silly.

Shrugs, do you. If you're happy with your hair and in love with it then don't worry about what other people say. Folks are always going to have something to say about something, no point in letting it effect you since you're the one who has to live her life.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

I hate that good hair mess. My family on my fathers side always says I can "do" the whole natural thing because I have good hair, and plus my grandma is white or mixed with white. My grandma is just a very pale black woman and my hair is just as nappy as a sheeps, but I rock it. Thats what people dont get, you gotta rock your style whatever that style is. There is nothing wrong with wearing our hair in its natural state, girl I wouldnt waste my time arguing stupid stuff. Just rock your hair, continue to nurture it and let it thrive and your cousin will probably decide to ask your for hair tips instead of hating

 

[kittikat24]

The good/bad hair mentality goes way deep for so many...don't worry about it, and let your lovely progress speak for you!!

 

[onelove08]

It can be hard sometimes to just ignore people and KIM!!

 

[8HoursFromHome]

It was so very hard for me growing up. All the women in my family, including my 2 sisters, had hair that was soft and wavy. I also grew up in an all white neighborhood. I remember going to Al Harris' Hair Studio every Wednesday for a hot comb session. My mother didn't want to deal with that 'mess' on my head. I never knew what to do with my hair because my mother didn't know what to do with it. It took me a very long time to learn how to take care of it. I've used heat and chemicals and sometimes both attempting to get my hair like the white girls and through all of it, I still have hair!! That's what I call good hair, if I had white girl hair, I'd have been bald after all of that!!

My older sister and I have fought about 'good' hair many times. I've been very ashamed of her throughout the years. She has shunned everything black, she refused to date black and she has no black friends, barely listens to R&B and never rap music. I truly believe it is a form of self-hatred on her part. We grew up learning from (VERY strong) external sources that black was bad and white is good. It personally makes me sick. I have enough personal demons to contend with, I don't need the whole world telling me I'm bad because of how I look!!

ROCK ON GIRL AND PRAY FOR YOUR COUSIN!!!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

damn she cussed you out? ole girl on them tweeds for real! she needs to quit obsessing over your hair and focus on being less ignorant. ♥

 

[Kiki0130]

I'm newly subscribed here (o so happy! But that's not relevant here, sorry lol) and I just had to add my 2 cents.

I love my 4a/b hair. A LOT.

My mom, who I love love LOVE always seems to want to let me know that my hair is not CURLY -- it is NAPPY. Also, she can't wait until I relax or straighten my hair because I "don't even look like her child anymore."

Now, here's the thing -- I use the word 'nappy' to describe my hair all the time but when she says it, it sounds like a cuss word .

Mom's hair is soft, fine, and if all the curl wasn't straightened and dyed out of it, I would say she is in the 3's.

In her case, I know she means well, and that is the only reason why I'm not offended anymore.

 

[brucebettye]

Don't let your cousin get you down. I am not even natural but texlaxed and I always have everybody offering to flat iron my hair. I just tell them I will do it when I am ready. I just love wearing my kinky hair and I don't care what other people think and I don't argue with them.

 

[nikolite]

Don't worry about it. Your confidence and acceptance of yourself has invoked her own insecurities with herself. She's mad that you are happy with you because she's not happy with who she is and what she has. She only brought up that good hair-bad hair stuff to tear down that confidence of yours that she feels threatened by. For her to get so heated over YOUR hair only proves that.

It really has nothing to do with you.

 

[Tyra]

Maybe it's me, but I don't think it's about your hair per se.
Your cousin just sounds like one of those people with the 'we're cool as long as we're on the same level' mentality.

 

[MrsIQ]

My 11 year old is completely natural after 1 1/2 transition. She is about BSB stretched with thick 4 something hair. This was her own decision and I must admit, I was a little concerned about it, but she took to rocking her puffs like a duck to water.

One day, her grandmother (MIL) told me I needed to get her hair "done for school". I politely told her that it was done and if my DD likes it, I love it.

I have had to shut a few other relatives down, and my daughter has learned that although it not mainstream to be natural (right now) that it is her choice. She says she may relax one day, but not yet "cuz I look cute with my big ole puff!"

 

[LadyRaider]

We just need to get used it seeing that natural hair. The more I see 4a/b hair, the more I like it. Specially big ol' hair like Black Master Piece or Mwedzi.

 

[Kiki0130]

We just need to get used it seeing that natural hair. The more I see 4a/b hair, the more I like it. Specially big ol' hair like Black Master Piece or Mwedzi.

You got that right

 

[Avaya]

Racial inferiority is culturally accepted amongst blacks so much so that they don't even view it in such a way (it is just coincidental that everything that makes us phenotypically black is bad ). This mindset isn't going anywhere because it is viewed as normal to have a low opinion of ones Negroid characteristics and this mindset is passed on from generation to generation .

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

^^^^^ historical truths

 

[Miss_C]

Sorry your cousin said those horrible things to you, but you just perservere while she huffs and puffs about what you're doing to YOUR hair. While she's talking, you'll be growing. It's clear she has some issues with herself or else she wouldn't care about what's going on with you. But just keep up your reggie and soon she'll be asking for tips.

 

[MonPetite]

I have a relative with a similar mentality. It's not your job to change it. You job...is to love being you, m'dear. I have a feeling you've got that down pat.

 

[Ms Lala]

Sorry to hear that. Your cousin has got issues. That is a very extreme response to have about someone else's hair. Don't waste energy on that mess. Keep doing you and stay encouraged.

 

[Janet']

As has already been said, don't let their (whoever "they" are)issues become your issues. The older I get, the more I can appreciate making choices for me that benefit me...Do you and I'm happy for you!

 

[jennboo]

Racial inferiority is culturally accepted amongst blacks so much so that they don't even view it in such a way (it is just coincidental that everything that makes us phenotypically black is bad ). This mindset isn't going anywhere because it is viewed as normal to have a low opinion of ones Negroid characteristics and this mindset is passed on from generation to generation .

Real talk.

 

[thehairmaverick]

Why do folks have a problem with that?! I got into a huge argument with my cousin yesterday just cause I told her I love my hair and won’t be going back to relaxers ever. She tries to call me out and say that my hair is nappy and I am a hypocrite because I used to wear a relaxer. I have been relaxer free for two years and the reason why I don’t relax is because my hair was so damaged when I was. I am embracing the hair God gave me and I don’t care what noone thinks. Her mentality is if your hair is not soft/curly texture then you have bad hair. I told her good hair=healthy hair no matter if it is coarse or not. This girl went on a rampage and was cussing me out and what not, talking bout her blood pressure is rising and she got to go. Lol.

People are such a trip with this good hair bad hair thing, it is so darn annoying. Just cause I have accepted my hair and love it why are you going to hate on that? I think her issue is that she has not accepted her naps and she is mad that I am happy with mine. I swear folks will hate on anything, nappy hair, curly hair ,whatever the hair I guess if you love it they hate that you do. Smh


Since I have been natural a lot of the negative comments I get are from my own people which is sad. Every other race that sees me at work compliments my hair and are so fascinated with it but when you see a black sister she gives you that look or says oh why are you natural now. At first I felt uncomfortable but *** them all cause they are not doing anything for me. When my hair is long and natural I bet they will hate even more especially my cousin.

Dang is your hair that serious to her? All that energy wasted on hair that isn't even yours?...sounds like someone needs a chill pill