nodisrespect
New Member
I'm away at school all year which works best for everyone since my siblings get on my nerves and they, in turn, resent me because my mother is pretty much supporting me financially. (Long story how they could call themselves having a problem with that since they are all older than me but still live at home but WHATEVER).
One of my sisters and my mother already knew I was doing things differently concerning my hair in order to grow it out. But then I came home, no relaxer for months, not using heat and generally KISS. For the first couple days I brushed off any comments just by saying, "ok, I am black. This is what black hair is gonna look like if you're not abusing it with a heater every day" and that was sufficient enough to at least laugh things off.
Some of the comments I've gotten (I don't even think I've been here a week yet):
I'm not letting you go back away to college coming back looking like that.
You done went away and got afrocentric.
How you think you gone get a job with your hair like that?
You need to straighten that mess.
Come on man, when you gone comb your hair?
(My mom to one of my sisters, behind my back) Why don't you take her to go get her hair done?
Your hair done all fell out doing that stupid stuff you doing.
Even my three year old niece called my hair "messy."
I did a deep condition last night and was checking my airdried hair out in the mirror this morning. My sister started talking about me again and I must have said something like, well whatever my hair is growing and when I graduate next year with my hair down to here all y'all gone be hating and looking stupid. Then she went off into this diatribe about I don't know better than nobody else, including that old myth about needing to trim frequently in order to "stimulate growth" (I asked how could cutting ends stimulate the scalp where the hair grows and she said some stupid junk about spilt ends, which, while it's true it's bad for split ends to travel up the shaft and break off the hair, that is not the same thing as trimming hair to make it grow faster out ur scalp). And that all that junk I'm reading "on the computer" don't work for nobody and her hair grows just fine washing and flat ironing every two weeks and if she hadn't cut her hair it would be longer than it was now.
Two things that really irritate me, one, why is it that people who go to the salon frequently always end up getting frequent haircuts, or having to get a haircut for damaged ends and never see it as a problem or hindrance to growing out hair... and somehow don't realize if you keep cutting your hair off it don't matter how long it COULD be cuz it ain't gone never get there!
And two, I am more than four months post, my hair is shrunken beyond belief and even with that, it's STILL longer than it's ever been the past however many years in my life, when I would STRAIGHTEN it! When I first got home I asked my sister to put 2 cornrows in my hair cuz I was planning on running in the morning (which she keeps using to cite as evidence that my hair is in bad condition). The braids came to the middle of my neck, not even shoulder length. You can check my fotki to see where my hair falls when it is straightened.
According to them, my hair is "dry", even though my hair is soft, supple, and moisturized. I need to get a cut, even though I don't have any split ends. My hair is broken off, even though my hair has always been uneven ,since I started this journey, and the parts that were shorter cannot magically become the same length with the parts that are longer. Through some round of questioning, eventually my sister said that nappy hair looks dirty.
My mom is going to keep trying to push me to straight my hair or go to a salon and I don't want to do either because 1.) I know I'm not going to be able to keep my hair straight over the summer so I'm not bout to do that for no reason and 2.) I'm stretching until August and I know every single thing I have done for my hair going to a salon would erase all that. To think I have over two more months of this junk, it's going to be a long summer...
One of my sisters and my mother already knew I was doing things differently concerning my hair in order to grow it out. But then I came home, no relaxer for months, not using heat and generally KISS. For the first couple days I brushed off any comments just by saying, "ok, I am black. This is what black hair is gonna look like if you're not abusing it with a heater every day" and that was sufficient enough to at least laugh things off.
Some of the comments I've gotten (I don't even think I've been here a week yet):
I'm not letting you go back away to college coming back looking like that.
You done went away and got afrocentric.
How you think you gone get a job with your hair like that?
You need to straighten that mess.
Come on man, when you gone comb your hair?
(My mom to one of my sisters, behind my back) Why don't you take her to go get her hair done?
Your hair done all fell out doing that stupid stuff you doing.
Even my three year old niece called my hair "messy."
I did a deep condition last night and was checking my airdried hair out in the mirror this morning. My sister started talking about me again and I must have said something like, well whatever my hair is growing and when I graduate next year with my hair down to here all y'all gone be hating and looking stupid. Then she went off into this diatribe about I don't know better than nobody else, including that old myth about needing to trim frequently in order to "stimulate growth" (I asked how could cutting ends stimulate the scalp where the hair grows and she said some stupid junk about spilt ends, which, while it's true it's bad for split ends to travel up the shaft and break off the hair, that is not the same thing as trimming hair to make it grow faster out ur scalp). And that all that junk I'm reading "on the computer" don't work for nobody and her hair grows just fine washing and flat ironing every two weeks and if she hadn't cut her hair it would be longer than it was now.
Two things that really irritate me, one, why is it that people who go to the salon frequently always end up getting frequent haircuts, or having to get a haircut for damaged ends and never see it as a problem or hindrance to growing out hair... and somehow don't realize if you keep cutting your hair off it don't matter how long it COULD be cuz it ain't gone never get there!
And two, I am more than four months post, my hair is shrunken beyond belief and even with that, it's STILL longer than it's ever been the past however many years in my life, when I would STRAIGHTEN it! When I first got home I asked my sister to put 2 cornrows in my hair cuz I was planning on running in the morning (which she keeps using to cite as evidence that my hair is in bad condition). The braids came to the middle of my neck, not even shoulder length. You can check my fotki to see where my hair falls when it is straightened.
According to them, my hair is "dry", even though my hair is soft, supple, and moisturized. I need to get a cut, even though I don't have any split ends. My hair is broken off, even though my hair has always been uneven ,since I started this journey, and the parts that were shorter cannot magically become the same length with the parts that are longer. Through some round of questioning, eventually my sister said that nappy hair looks dirty.
My mom is going to keep trying to push me to straight my hair or go to a salon and I don't want to do either because 1.) I know I'm not going to be able to keep my hair straight over the summer so I'm not bout to do that for no reason and 2.) I'm stretching until August and I know every single thing I have done for my hair going to a salon would erase all that. To think I have over two more months of this junk, it's going to be a long summer...
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. Like has been said many times on this board, thank God for the ladies of LHCF. Keep doing you, mami, and know that we got your back
and then salons are BUSINESSES. . . do u REALLY want the best for your customer or do u want them to come back to u can make the rest on your chair? but when all else fails, I just say, "i don't take hair advice from people with damaged hair just like you shouldn't take exercise advice from my fat ass"
