Itching like heck to relax

[Aubergold]

ladies, I wanna relax my hair so badly!!!! It's especially bad when I see all the ladies with such nice relaxed hair. I feel so guilty for feeling this wayerplexed It doesn't help that my hair is shedding a lot and this cause montrous tangles in my hair. I in the bathroom of a hotel and some lady walked up to me and said "why don't u relax that, has it always been like that?" That certainly didn't help my mood. Do any other natural feel the urge to relax sometimes? Will this stage pass? Maybe I'm not done with the mental transition.

 

[Plenty]

ladies, I wanna relax my hair so badly!!!! It's especially bad when I see all the ladies with such nice relaxed hair. I feel so guilty for feeling this wayerplexed It doesn't help that my hair is shedding a lot and this cause montrous tangles in my hair. I in the bathroom of a hotel and some lady walked my to me and said "why don't u relax that, has it always been like that?" That certainly didn't help my mood. Do any other natural feel the urge to relax sometimes? Will this stage pass? Maybe I'm not done with the mental transition.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Have you tried

• french braids
• blow outs
• use glicerin (got that from beyond cute)
• press n curl
• plus more

I would suggest every alternative possible before I relaxed. I relaxed a year ago. I regret it to this day. It was one of the worst things I've ever done!

Also, if you go relaxed. I would have plan. I would learn a relax regimen down to a T before I went throught with it.

 

[hopeful]

First of all, yes sometimes some naturals feel a very strong desire to relax, lol the main reason it's called the creamy crack because it can be addictive, like a drug. Now from looking at your pics you are fully natural, right? Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. It takes an hour to be relaxed again, and what two, three years to grow that gorgeous head of hair you have? It's so sad that we have been conditioned for hundreds of years to believe we need to fix this condition called coily, kinky, nappy. You know you shouldn't relax, you are just in a weak moment, you are shedding and that ignorant woman insulted you. Get on top of the shedding, deep condition, twist it up or braid it up and leave that pretty hair alone. If you relax, you will regret it. (((((((HUGS)))))))

 

[OnceUponAtime]

Girl, I fight the urge to texturize everyday. Especially when I log onto this board. Have you seen Sprungonhairboards pretty hair? Ugh!!!! The torture

I just keep telling myself to wait until my next hair goal. I don't know if I can hold on. Then I look at my weekend funky fros or puffs and can't think of changing that. Also, my hair is thickening and when I relaxed, I lost some of that, so I'll hold off for now.

 

[Aubergold]

I hear ya, ladies I really do and I appreciate ur kind words, but seriously, can I just get ONE day off from the knotting and shrinking? Just one day?!! I need to go meditate.....

 

[secretdiamond]

I love the way your hair looks. It's really beautiful.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

For the first 4-6 months of my transition, I thought about perming everyday. Then I bought a maxiglide, used it twice and haven't had the itch to perm or straighten my hair again.

What that experience taught me is that there doesn't have to be extremes when it comes to being natural. In other words it's not a perm or bust situation. If you want to wear your hair straight for a couple of weeks flat iron your hair and get it out of your system. It doesn't make you a traitor to your naps, or a bad person, all it means is you want a break from your normal routine.

So don't beat yourself up. Buy a good heat protectant and swing your hair for a minute. Your naps will be waiting for you on wash day and if they aren't, well you wanted to perm anyway. (BTW - the heat damage threads I have read elsewhere tend to be folks who have no idea what heat protectants are and use maximum heat temperatures and multiple heating utensils in one setting) So dig up some old LHCF threads on the topic and start from there.

Good luck.

 

[Zakina]

ladies, I wanna relax my hair so badly!!!! It's especially bad when I see all the ladies with such nice relaxed hair. I feel so guilty for feeling this wayerplexed It doesn't help that my hair is shedding a lot and this cause montrous tangles in my hair. I in the bathroom of a hotel and some lady walked up to me and said "why don't u relax that, has it always been like that?" That certainly didn't help my mood. Do any other natural feel the urge to relax sometimes? Will this stage pass? Maybe I'm not done with the mental transition.

I seriusly don't understand why people are feeling guilty for relaxing or wanting to relax. Do whatever you want..It's just hair...remember that it's just hair!!!!
If you feel like you would look nicer in a straight style then go ahead.

I have 3c/b hair and I hate combing it...I can't imaging how it would be for a 4b individual...but if you have the time to take care of it and feel like you look your best in your natural state then stay that way..but you shouldn't have to feel guilty because you relax!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

I seriusly don't understand why people are feeling guilty for relaxing or wanting to relax.

I definately agreee with this, why feel guilty? It's not something to feel bad about.

But I do have to say...don't let ignorant people like the bathroom woman sway you. You're hair is absolutely gorgeous. I know it's hard to comb and knots and tangles up (with my 4z hair, believe me, I feel your pain! ). But you do have options...you can twist it up, maxiglide it, wear afropuffs, the list is long. Just keep working with your hair to find what works best for you...and if you do decide to relax, do your research, find an excellent beautician to limit hair loss/damage, and don't worry, we won't spank you.

At least I won't!

 

[Brownshugaz]

She said that to you? I never could understand why perfect strangers felt the need to be so rude. But girl don't worry about your hair. Honestly we all go through it. Trust me. My advice to you would be to put your hair in a protective style or kinky twists or extensions (again I know) until the worst of the craving passes. I believe our hair is in several stages and this may be the shedding stage of it all. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe a protein and deep conditoining treatment might be in order. Hey love, I can straighten your hair for you if you like. Just let me know.

Hugs and kisses. And I love your hair so don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you that it's anything less than beautiful. God knew what he was doing when he placed every coil, kink,and curl on your head.

 

[Qurlyqt]

Girl I won't lie, I thought about it a couple of times but the thought passed. Personally, I know that I would regret it because I love the versatility of my natural hair. Most times I want it curly but every now and then I want it straight... so I flat iron it. I must say that I only like my hair pressed for a couple of days, then I am longing to tilt my head back in the shower and experiencing my curls popping out again.

Your natural puff is absolutely gorgeous! Heck, people BUY hair that thick! Don't let haters, or ANYONE, determine how you choose to wear YOUR hair, whether relaxed or natural. You have to look at yourself in the mirror after you make the decision so make the best choice FOR YOU!

 

[UmSumayyah]

I second the braids or flat iron option. Once you relax it, that's it.

 

[Brownshugaz]

I told you Raven....lol <----I sound like an annoying younger sister. But honestly, your hair is too pretty to relax for this reason.

 

[sareca]

You know what I did when I was itching to relax? I relaxed. Never regretted it and never looked back. You'll have new challenges with relaxed hair but massive tangles won't be one of them. I hated that part of being natural. I just have too much hair for that.

 

[Supergirl]

It's your hair. Why feel guilty? Do you feel pressure from what other naturals might think or say? You shouldn't. They do what pleases them with their hair and you should do with yours what pleases you.

 

[cocoberry10]

creamy crack because it can be addictive, like a drug.

Creamy Crack. That's a good one, I love it!

 

[cocoberry10]

I am relaxed now, but was natural for almost 3 years. In some ways I regret relaxing, in others I don't.

Either way, don't ever make a decision as important as this in the heat of the moment. Really consider whether you are going to deal with the problems that come from relaxers. I will list some of the pros and cons of both for you.

Pros of Natural
You are natural. Your hair is stronger

You can wear it straight (press, blowdry, flatiron)

You can wear it natural

Can wash and go (whether your hair is curly or kinky, you have this option)

Your hair is stronger (that's very important, so I said it again)

Can do a variety of styles, including wash/go, braids, twists, locks, plaits, bantu knots, etc.

If you get braids, when you take them out, the new growth is the same texture as the rest of the hair

It's softer (no matter how silky my relaxed hair feels, nothing was as baby soft as my natural hair)

You can add color, with less damage

Cons of Natural
Depending on how you wear your hair, it can be time consuming because it's thick.

Depending on your texture, you can get tangles

It may not shine as much as straight or relaxed hair

It often looks drier, although it is healthier, and just coils up, but is actually stronger

It may not look like its growing, but only because it is more tightly woven


Pros of Relaxer
Hair will be straight (or straighter than natural) without always having to use heat

Can do a variety of styles, including rollersets, wraps, braids, etc. and it will look silkier

Length will be more obvious

Cons of Relaxer
We all know this, but just to restate...

Damage, damage, damage to your hair and scalp, sometimes resulting in permanent loss

Requires great care to manage or it will break

Destroys your natural hair texture

Can be hazardous to your health (the jury is out)

Again, this wasn't meant to be an exhaustive list, but I just thought it would help.

 

[balisi]

ladies, I wanna relax my hair so badly!!!! It's especially bad when I see all the ladies with such nice relaxed hair. I feel so guilty for feeling this wayerplexed It doesn't help that my hair is shedding a lot and this cause montrous tangles in my hair. I in the bathroom of a hotel and some lady walked up to me and said "why don't u relax that, has it always been like that?" That certainly didn't help my mood. Do any other natural feel the urge to relax sometimes? Will this stage pass? Maybe I'm not done with the mental transition.

I think she needs the mental transition more than you do. I have NOT ONCE wanted to relax my hair since the BC. I adore the versatility that I have with natural hair. My hair is flatironed right now, but it's not something that I do often. For now, I'm enjoying the straight silky swing, but I will be back to my shrunken texture in a couple of days, and I'm actually looking forward to it. You've got to know in your head and in your heart what's best for you and your hair, regardless of what others think or say.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Your hair is pretty.

Why not try a straight weave to see if relaxing is something you really want to do?

 

[aileenadq]

I just keep telling myself to wait until my next hair goal. I don't know if I can hold on. Then I look at my weekend funky fros or puffs and can't think of changing that. Also, my hair is thickening and when I relaxed, I lost some of that, so I'll hold off for now.

PLEASE don't relax your poor hair. I'm a relaxed 3c who is thinning so badly I wish I had NEVER even seen a relaxer jar! Now I can't even airdry for a curly look b/c my hair is such a mess! I love your cute twists.

Maybe try a different style in lieu of a relaxer? Or try maxigliding it for a straight look...

 

[plove]

I think women think about their hair way too much at times
I have this really good habit
of one day out of the blue
looking at my hair and
cuting it off if it's relax
at that moment because
i don't want to see it like that no more
or if it's natural putting a relax in it
because of the same reason.
After i do this i just go on with life.
either way is fine with me




I guess what I'm trying to say is get your mind off your hair
start a new hobbie, write a book about whatever,
do something to get pass the itching

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

Definitely. I had my hair blown out last weekend and I am soooooooo loving it. I've received so many compliments on it too. It's sad to say but I don't miss my natural hair much. I'm enjoying this.

 

[bettytoo]

ladies, I wanna relax my hair so badly!!!! It's especially bad when I see all the ladies with such nice relaxed hair. I feel so guilty for feeling this wayerplexed It doesn't help that my hair is shedding a lot and this cause montrous tangles in my hair. I in the bathroom of a hotel and some lady walked up to me and said "why don't u relax that, has it always been like that?" That certainly didn't help my mood. Do any other natural feel the urge to relax sometimes? Will this stage pass? Maybe I'm not done with the mental transition.

HI raven .i was natural from 14 to 23 with 4b hair .and then I relaxer my hair. I don't regret relaxering my hair.But i don't know what i gain from it. I only last 10 month with relaxer then i grew it out with braids because the curls when limp.It wasn't what i expected.
You see i thought a relaxer was then answer to my prays. I thought i'd have long ,shiny hair. But i didn't consider that i'd get my hair fall out at the hairline because of the relaxer.
I'd never get as straight as the hairdresser got it.i never realize that people with relaxer spent all day avoid the rain ,most suffer from chonic dry breaking hair.
If they don't they take care of it. But still have to live with the risk that their hair will get over processed. Thats a risk i'm not willing to take .All hair has to be taken care of whether its relaxers or not ,a relaxer is serious upkeep. But its up to you ,i'd say just get a hot comb it.Straight hair is just a fastasy, that to many women try to live up to.If you can cope with all that go for it .if not just get a hot comb or a wig .It only take 30 minutes to straight it. but about two year to grow it out. YOU HAIR BEAUTIFUL BY THE WAY love bettytoo