It's everything.

Aviah

Well-Known Member
Okay, I usually try not to drop these things on anyone because they usually never know what to say. But it just feels eveything is out of place with me at the moment.

1) SO and I have been together a year, prayed about the relationship and got God's go ahead on it. Things were fine, and while he is very careing, understanding, considerate and all the other great things you would want, (yes he is saved) he's not open about his walk with God, because he's not comfortable discussing it like that. He says he'll open up here and there when its relelvent but he will not proactively bring up things God has shown him etc.How are you going to be the head of the household (spiritually as well) if you do not do this? He doesn't like praying on the phone because he doesn't feel the connection with God when we do that.:wallbash:. Anyway we agreed that I would be patient and try to wait for him to open up more and still be open about how I am with God in the meantime. But it feels one-sided, just giving, pouring out, etc, and not getting anything back in that light, not to mention I think he will just get comfortable not having to be open with spirituality and not change. We do not share the word together often, if at all, we don't pray together often, and we spend a lot of time as of recent arguing about things. Not to mention we are struggling with sexual sin (which I truly hate, as well as hate to admit). He doesn't feel comfortable getting mentoring/councelling for us:rolleyes:, but yet he tells me we won't because "we're not ready" yet:ohwell:. It frustrates the life out of me and I always go back to God and get the same thing- stick with it. I'm at my wits end here...

2)I'm not feeling going to church, trying to read the word and geting closer to God, but somehow after our week-long convention 2 weeks ago with thte message all being about praying that every demon stopping your success must die, I'm fed up. I'm know I need to get closer to God, but I'm somehow just not feeling it, sturggling to pray and all that. Especially as no one seems to want to come to Christ, and having an "impact" on the world around me isn't really working when it comes to influencing peopel for God. Spoke to a girl I go to college with who decided she's not discussing God with me, she's maknig her decision to give up on even asking questions about salvation, which is disappointing to say the least.

3) Not to mention I feel I need more like-minded friends on fire for God to recieve from and give to... Sharpen each other you know? For some reason its hard for me to make friends, (true core friends) though I have one that seems to be very inrovert and "need me" less than I "need" her. I have lots of aquaintences, and good company but its not enough. 2-3 core friends is all I really want.

4) My cousin is a lesbian who has given her life to Christ but the feelnigs have never left her. But then again her being at my hosue the past while I haven't seen her read the word or anything, and she says she doesn't know why she isn't on fire for God. I want to encourage her and have tried but I'm not sure where it goes.

5)I failed my Jr. year in college and have to resit the test next year, delaying my graduation by a year. It doesn't bother me too much but it saddens me I'm not graduating next summer after all

Its just a lot to carry right now... And everything feels off mostly because I'm not close to God as I should be...
 
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GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I

New Member
Things were fine, and while he is very careing, understanding, considerate and all the other great things you would want, (yes he is saved) he's not open about his walk with God, because he's not comfortable discussing it like that. He says he'll open up here and there when its relelvent but he will not proactively bring up things God has shown him etc.How are you going to be the head of the household (spiritually as well) if you do not do this? He doesn't like praying on the phone because he doesn't feel the connection with God when we do that.:wallbash:. Anyway we agreed that I would be patient and try to wait for him to open up more and still be open about how I am with God in the meantime. But it feels one-sided, just giving, pouring out, etc, and not getting anything back in that light, not to mention I think he will just get comfortable not having to be open with spirituality and not change. ...

Not to mention we are struggling with sexual sin (which I truly hate, as well as hate to admit). He doesn't feel comfortable getting mentoring/councelling for us:rolleyes:, but yet he tells me we won't because "we're not ready" yet:ohwell:. .....


5)I failed my Jr. year in college and have to resit the test next year, delaying my graduation by a year. It doesn't bother me too much but it saddens me I'm not graduating next summer after all

Its just a lot to carry right now... And everything feels off mostly because I'm not close to God as I should be...

I'm sorry for your troubles. I know they hurt. But I think you should focus on yourself right now. He's just not that...."spiritually" into you, you know what I mean? You cannot change him after marriage. He has to change himself and he won't feel much of improving himself after he's won you over...you'll be placed in the closet, of sorts.

Focus on you, your school, your relationship with G-d. I don't think you'd be best marrying him for right now. Sounds like you've already given up way too much control over to him. He should not be compromising you at all and that may be one reason he's not comfortable discussing religiously with you because he might be weighted under guilt. He sees what you've got with G-d and he doesn't...not on your level. Take a break from him for awhile and get your own life together...the very best for yourself. :yep:
 

Angelicus

Well-Known Member
Hi. You wrote the questions at 5 something in the morning. Some of us don't wake up that early.

Why would God want you to be unhappy? Why would he tell you to stay in a relationship with a man who is not a spiritual leader? He would not!

These problems that you have can be taken care of by God. Will you surrender and let him come in, or try to take on the burden yourself?

Pray: Lord, My Thread Reads "It's everything." I am calling your name, aloud!
Lord, I surrender everything! I surrender all just as you did on the cross!
I surrender my relationship to you, my family to you, Lord, I surrender my academic mishaps to you!
Lord, no one else can call out your name for me as loud as I can. I need you!
I can't do this with my own wisdom, I need yours! Please help me!


Aviah, I love you. God loves you and he will NOT let you fail. Do not be afraid to call his name. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me. There are very few people that you can trust in the world, but you can surely trust God. He is our best friend. I love you.
 

Aviah

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry for your troubles. I know they hurt. But I think you should focus on yourself right now. He's just not that...."spiritually" into you, you know what I mean? You cannot change him after marriage. He has to change himself and he won't feel much of improving himself after he's won you over...you'll be placed in the closet, of sorts.

Focus on you, your school, your relationship with G-d. I don't think you'd be best marrying him for right now. Sounds like you've already given up way too much control over to him. He should not be compromising you at all and that may be one reason he's not comfortable discussing religiously with you because he might be weighted under guilt. He sees what you've got with G-d and he doesn't...not on your level. Take a break from him for awhile and get your own life together...the very best for yourself. :yep:

I know what you mean. I am not hoping that marrying will change him at all and I know that I cannot change him either. We both know we are not ready for marraige right now and I know that we will not be for a while. God told me this would be a long journey and I have to be patient. I'm getting things together, like working for a year before going back to school, and generally trying to live life closer to God, but today was just not a good one at all. But I'm feeling better, thank you so much.

Hi. You wrote the questions at 5 something in the morning. Some of us don't wake up that early.

Why would God want you to be unhappy? Why would he tell you to stay in a relationship with a man who is not a spiritual leader? He would not!

These problems that you have can be taken care of by God. Will you surrender and let him come in, or try to take on the burden yourself?

Pray: Lord, My Thread Reads "It's everything." I am calling your name, aloud!
Lord, I surrender everything! I surrender all just as you did on the cross!
I surrender my relationship to you, my family to you, Lord, I surrender my academic mishaps to you!
Lord, no one else can call out your name for me as loud as I can. I need you!
I can't do this with my own wisdom, I need yours! Please help me!

Aviah, I love you. God loves you and he will NOT let you fail. Do not be afraid to call his name. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me. There are very few people that you can trust in the world, but you can surely trust God. He is our best friend. I love you.

Thank you for your encouragement Angelicus, its really appreciated. I know its not that God wants me to be unhappy but that God's stretching my patience. As I mentioned to GV in the previous response, He told me it would be a long journey (to marriage) and that I had to be patient ( I didn't know why I was getting that at the time, but now I understand). As for writing at 5AM, I'm sorry I'm in London and was already at work by then! I've been talking to God about it, praying about it and just trying to seek His face. Though I admit, surrendering all is very hard. I forgot to mention we are going to speak to a Pastor about our "struggle" which I am very pleased about, as we both hate getting into those situations. What I meant before is that we do not have a general relationship mentor/councellor yet. But your post has given me new encouragement to let go and let God. Its a stretch sometimes though!
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Hi Aviah :grouphug:

Please don't despair. Regarding your finance and prayer:

Many men are not 'outward' with their prayers and worship unto the Lord. This doesn't mean that they don't have a relationship with God.

I came across this article; I hope it blesses you. Please don't let the title 'throw' you, okay? ;).

http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/ChurchAndMinistry/menhatingchurch.aspx

THE RELIGION OF MASCULINITY

Why Men Hate Church

By David Murrow


CBN.com -- Cliff is a man’s man. On the job he’s known as a go-getter and a very hard worker.

He’s a good provider who loves his wife and kids. He’s well respected by his neighbors. Cliff drives a humongous four-wheel-drive pickup. He loves the outdoors and takes every opportunity for a little hunting and fishing. He enjoys a cold beer and a dirty joke. He does not go to church.

Ask him why he doesn’t go to church, and he’ll offer up words like boring, irrelevant, and hypocrite. But the real reason Cliff doesn’t go to church is that he’s already practicing another religion. That religion is masculinity.
The ideology of masculinity has replaced Christianity as the true religion of men. We live in a society with a female religion and a male religion: Christianity, of various sorts, for women and non-masculine men; and masculinity . . . for men.
Cliff practices his religion with a single-mindedness the Pharisees would envy. His work, his hobbies, his entertainment, his follies, his addictions, everything he does is designed to prove to the world he is a man. His religion also demands that he avoid anything that might call his manhood into question.

This includes church, because Cliff believes deep in his heart that church is something for women and children, not men.

Cliff is not alone. Men have believed this for centuries.

In the 1800s, Charles Spurgeon said, “There has got abroad a notion, somehow, that if you become a Christian you must sink your manliness and turn milksop.” Cliff sees Christianity as incongruous with his manhood. It’s a women’s thing.

CHURCH ...A WOMEN’S THING?

We’re only in chapter 1, and I know I’m already in trouble with a lot of you. I can just imagine what you’re thinking: Church is not a women’s thing—it’s a men’s thing! It certainly looks that way, doesn’t it? After all, a man and His male disciples founded Christianity, most of its major saints and heroes were men, men penned all of the New Testament books, all of the popes were men, all of the Catholic priests are men, and 95 percent of the senior pastors in America are men.

Feminists have been telling us for years that the church is male dominated and patriarchal. Are they right?

The answer is yes and no. The pastorate is a men’s club. But almost every other area of church life is dominated by women. Whenever large numbers of Christians gather, men are never in the majority. Not at revivals. Not at crusades. Not at conferences. Not at retreats. Not at concerts. With the exception of men’s events and pastoral conferences, can you think of any large gathering of Christians that attracts more men than women?

Visit the church during the week, and you’ll find most of the people working there are female. Drop in on a committee meeting, and you’ll find a majority of the volunteers are women—unless it’s that small bastion of male presence, the building committee. Look over the leadership roster: the pastor is likely to be a man, but at least two-thirds of the ministry leaders will be women.

Examine the sign-up sheets for volunteer work, prayer, Sunday school, and nursery duty. You’ll be lucky to see more than a couple of men’s names on these lists. One pastor recently told me, “If it weren’t for the postman, every visitor to the church during the week would be a woman.”

Male pastors come and go, but faithful women provide a matriarchal continuity in our congregations. Women are the devoted ones who build their lives around their commitments to Christ and His church. Women are more likely to teach and volunteer in church and are the greatest participants in Christian culture. The sad reality in many churches today is this: the only man who actually practices his faith is the pastor.

With so much female presence and participation, the church has gained a reputation as a ladies’ club in the minds of men. Cliff does not attend church for the same reason he does not wear pink: neither is proper to his gender. Does Cliff know why he hates going to church? No. Can he offer a detailed explanation of his feelings? Of course not. He’s a guy, remember? Cliff knows one thing: he hates going to church.

HOW THE GENDER GAP AFFECTS WOMEN

If you are a woman, you may have picked up this book because a key man in your life does not go to church, or if he does attend, it means little to him. You are not alone. Connie is a lifelong Episcopalian, a fifty-six-yearold mother of four boys. She says, “None of my sons goes to church anymore. Two of them are divorced, and now all four are living with their lady friends. It’s sad.” Bernice from Connecticut says, “I have a large extended family.

Not one of the men goes to Mass, let alone confession.” Vicki’s husband, Ron, attends their local Baptist church. “But he’s a total hypocrite,” she states. “He screams all the way to church. Once he’s inside the sanctuary, he puts on a smile and plays ‘Mr. Charming.’ Why won’t he let God change him?” Caroline is a twenty-nine-year-old single woman who won’t date non-Christian men.

“But I’m beginning to rethink that,” she admits. “I go to a small Pentecostal church. There are no single guys my age. This man at work was pursuing me, so I told him our first date would have to be church. He came, but I think it freaked him out. He never called again.”

Connie, Bernice, Vicki, and Caroline know from personal experience: the modern church is having trouble reaching men. Women comprise more than 60 percent of the typical adult congregation on any given Sunday. At least one-fifth of married women regularly worship without their husbands. There are quite a few single women but hardly any single men in church today.

Every day it gets harder for single Christian women to find men for romance or marriage. Step into any church parking lot, and you’re likely to see an attractive young mother and her brightly scrubbed children scurrying to Sunday school. Mom may be wearing an impressive diamond ring on her left hand, but the man who gave it to her is nowhere to be seen.

WHERE ARE THE MANLY MEN?

Although males have not completely abandoned the church, manly men like Cliff have all but disappeared. Tough, earthy, working guys rarely come to church. High achievers, alpha males, risk takers, and visionaries are in short supply. Fun-lovers and adventurers are also underrepresented in church. These rough-and-tumble men don’t fit in with the quiet, introspective gentlemen who populate the church today.

The truth is, most men in the pews grew up in church. Many of these lifers come not because they desire to be transformed by Christ but because they enjoy participating in comforting rituals that have changed little since their childhood. There are also millions of men who attend services under duress, dragged by a mother, wife, or girlfriend. Today’s churchgoing man is humble, tidy, dutiful, and above all, nice.

----------------------------------
Continued...
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Men in Church Continued...




What a contrast to the men of the Bible! Think of Moses and Elijah, David and Daniel, Peter and Paul. They were lions, not lambs—takecharge men who risked everything in service to God.



They fought valiantly and spilled blood. They spoke their minds and stepped on the toes of religious people. They were true leaders, tough guys who were feared and respected by the community. All of these men had two things in common: they had an intense commitment to God, and they weren’t what you’d call saintly.


Such men seldom go to church today.


Furthermore, of the men who do attend church, most decline to invest themselves in the Christian life as their wives and mothers do. The majority of men attend services and nothing more. Jay is such a man. He’s in church most Sundays, but he’s not very excited about it. “I go mainly for my kids and my wife,” he says.



“Church is okay, but it really doesn’t enthrall me like it does her.”
Who is being touched by the gospel today? Women. Women’s ministries, women’s conferences, women’s Bible studies, and women’s retreats are ubiquitous in the modern church. Men’s ministry, if it even exists, might consist of an occasional pancake breakfast and an annual retreat.


How did a faith founded by a Man and His twelve male disciples become so popular with women, but anathema to men? The church of the first century was a magnet to males. Jesus’ strong leadership, blunt honesty, and bold action mesmerized men. A five-minute sermon by Peter resulted in the conversions of three thousand men.


Today’s church does not mesmerize men; it repels them. Just 35 percent of the men in the United States say they attend church weekly. In Europe male participation rates are much worse, in the neighborhood of 5 percent. This hardly sounds like a male-dominated, patriarchal institution to me.


What’s worse, nobody seems to care about the absence of men. Have you ever heard a sermon on the church’s gender gap? I’ve never heard a pastor or church leader bring it up. Heck, I’ve never heard anybody bring it up. It’s just one of those things Christians don’t talk about.


WHO’S TO BLAME FOR THE GENDER GAP?


For decades those few people who noticed the gender gap have assumed that men are to blame for it. Sometimes they are. Many men intentionally reject the Christian faith. Some men are proud and want to be their own God. Men hate to admit weakness or neediness. Millions are captive to sin, unbelief, and other religions that preclude commitment to Christ. Men get distracted by the concerns of this world and lose interest in spiritual matters. Men suffer abuse at the hands of church people and fall away.


But let’s be honest—women grapple with these same issues. Women are just as susceptible to sin, atheism, other religions, and pride. There’s nothing in the Bible to suggest that women are more virtuous or less sinful than men. Women are just as likely to have father issues or be victims of abuse. So why do women seem drawn to the church when men are not? What’s the difference?


Let me be blunt: today’s church has developed a culture that is driving men away. Almost every man in America has tried church, but two-thirds find it unworthy of a couple of hours once a week. A wise Texan once told me, “Men don’t go to church ’cuz they’ve been.”


When men need spiritual sustenance, they go to the wilderness, the workplace, the garage, or the corner bar. They watch their heroes in the stadium or on the racetrack. They plunge into a novel or sneak off to a movie. Church is one of the last places men look for God.


More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.
Men’s disinterest in Christianity is so consistent around the world, it can’t be explained by pride, father issues, sin, or distraction.



Neither can we say, “Well, men are just less religious,” because this is untrue. Male and female participation are roughly equal in Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. In the Islamic world men are publicly and unashamedly religious—often more so than women.



Of the world’s great religions, only Christianity has a consistent, nagging shortage of male practitioners. What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away? That’s the question I hope to answer with this book.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
NOW FOR SOME GOOD NEWS


Can the church turn the tide with men? Yes! It not only can, but it must. Jesus built His church on twelve Spirit-filled men who changed the world. We must do the same: you cannot have a thriving church without a core of men who are true followers of Christ. If the men are dead, the church is dead.


Fortunately, pioneering churches and parachurch organizations are enjoying remarkable success in reaching men for Christ. New forms of worship and ministry tailored to the needs of men are springing up in the unlikeliest places. Some of the fastest-growing churches in America are also those most successful in reaching men.



To learn more about these ministries, visit my Web site, www.churchformen.com.


Can your church turn the tide with men? Yes! But please don’t hand this book to the minister and say, “Pastor, you need to do this!” Many of the needed changes cannot be imposed from above, but must bubble up from the congregation itself. Too often it’s not what the leadership imposes but what the laity demands that causes the church to repel men.



If your church has a large gender gap, it’s probably not the pastor’s fault. The people in the pews hold the steering wheel on this one. In the coming pages I suggest dozens of ways to make your congregation more attractive to men. Your job is to read, pray, and take action wherever you can. Individual churchgoers have more influence than they think.


ABOVE ALL, DON’T DESPAIR!


As you read the dire statistics on male participation, don’t panic! This low ebb may be part of the church’s natural cycle. Over time the church tends to get out of balance and lose its masculine spirit. Then God raises a lion—a Martin Luther, John Wesley, Charles Finney, or Billy Sunday—to drag the church back into balance. The men return. The great revivals of the past three centuries always transformed large numbers of men.


God has balanced His church many times before. He will do so again. Our job is to confront the current gender gap for what it is: a strategy of the evil one to weaken the church. We need to understand what causes the gap and have the courage to remove the barriers that discourage and demoralize men. God will call men back to Himself. Will the church be ready?


Dream for a moment. What would church be like if the majority of the worshippers were men? Not just males taking up pew space, but strong, earthy men who were truly alive in Christ. Men who were there not just to please their wives, to fulfill religious tradition, or to go on a power trip, but men who were there to rock their world. Can you even imagine what that would feel like? Imagine what such a church could accomplish for the kingdom of God!


Impossible you say? Just read the book of Acts. The church was like this once; it can be so again.
 

zenith

New Member
Okay, I usually try not to drop these things on anyone because they usually never know what to say. But it just feels eveything is out of place with me at the moment.

1) SO and I have been together a year, prayed about the relationship and got God's go ahead on it. Things were fine, and while he is very careing, understanding, considerate and all the other great things you would want, (yes he is saved) he's not open about his walk with God, because he's not comfortable discussing it like that. He says he'll open up here and there when its relelvent but he will not proactively bring up things God has shown him etc.How are you going to be the head of the household (spiritually as well) if you do not do this? He doesn't like praying on the phone because he doesn't feel the connection with God when we do that.:wallbash:. Anyway we agreed that I would be patient and try to wait for him to open up more and still be open about how I am with God in the meantime. But it feels one-sided, just giving, pouring out, etc, and not getting anything back in that light, not to mention I think he will just get comfortable not having to be open with spirituality and not change. We do not share the word together often, if at all, we don't pray together often, and we spend a lot of time as of recent arguing about things. Not to mention we are struggling with sexual sin (which I truly hate, as well as hate to admit). He doesn't feel comfortable getting mentoring/councelling for us:rolleyes:, but yet he tells me we won't because "we're not ready" yet:ohwell:. It frustrates the life out of me and I always go back to God and get the same thing- stick with it. I'm at my wits end here...

2)I'm not feeling going to church, trying to read the word and geting closer to God, but somehow after our week-long convention 2 weeks ago with thte message all being about praying that every demon stopping your success must die, I'm fed up. I'm know I need to get closer to God, but I'm somehow just not feeling it, sturggling to pray and all that. Especially as no one seems to want to come to Christ, and having an "impact" on the world around me isn't really working when it comes to influencing peopel for God. Spoke to a girl I go to college with who decided she's not discussing God with me, she's maknig her decision to give up on even asking questions about salvation, which is disappointing to say the least.

3) Not to mention I feel I need more like-minded friends on fire for God to recieve from and give to... Sharpen each other you know? For some reason its hard for me to make friends, (true core friends) though I have one that seems to be very inrovert and "need me" less than I "need" her. I have lots of aquaintences, and good company but its not enough. 2-3 core friends is all I really want.

4) My cousin is a lesbian who has given her life to Christ but the feelnigs have never left her. But then again her being at my hosue the past while I haven't seen her read the word or anything, and she says she doesn't know why she isn't on fire for God. I want to encourage her and have tried but I'm not sure where it goes.

5)I failed my Jr. year in college and have to resit the test next year, delaying my graduation by a year. It doesn't bother me too much but it saddens me I'm not graduating next summer after all

Its just a lot to carry right now... And everything feels off mostly because I'm not close to God as I should be...



Here's my take on your "everything"

1) Gal i sure hope that God is the only reason you are in this relationship. Sometimes we want to keep someone and convince ourselves that it is God telling us to stay in a stagnant rship( because our soulish man can be so strong at times that we convince ourselves is God. When God speaks, most of the time there is inner peace & a scripture to boot).
If he loves and cares for you then the both of you need to have a strait talk: " look, i need you to want to be in this rship wholeheartedly. No one is promised tomorrow, so you telling me that we need counselling later, is really not helping us NOW. it's like building a house & not putting a roof until when you see the rain clouds coming- not wise."

If he needs to get with another man in the church to help him out then that's fine but ultimately he has to develop a relationship with God for himself.

2) When you don't feel like praying or reading the Word, put on some praise music or a sermon. That will get you in the groove of things. The same way we don't feel like waking up on monday morning to go to work or school but still drag ourselves out of bed, sometimes you have to turn off the tv, radio,ipod and pick up that bible. Start with Psalms... very easy understand and it is praise. Plus reading out loud helps me alot!

3) Trust in God & he will bring you your own Jonathan to help. Maybe the reason you don't have anyone right now is because God doesn't want you to become addicted/ attached to them. God is very jealous and he knows that you are probably not at a stage where you can have friends but not lean on them all the time. That is how people end up abused by so called "church folk". you need to be wise. have a relationship with God first and He will bring the right people.

4) Growing in God is not a feeling.
that is a HUGE misconception people have about the Holy Spirit, He is not a drug to sedate, give you a high, make you feel good kind of Spirit. He is a teacher, comforter, advisor.
Your cousin just came to the Lord, she is a baby. A baby cannot feed itself, change itself or care for itself. You have to feed her the word. Get her a bible, concordance and a notebook. Have designated time for bible study together,read the word, pray together.
Esp for her lesbian feelings. Just because she FEELS like being with a woman doesn't mean that she has to. She is a new creature in Christ, old is gone, new is here... but she has to everyday, all day crucify that soulish man. The only way that is possible is thru prayer, the Word & fasting. Maybe you two can fast for a day, just asking God to kill those lesbian desires and replace them with Godly desires( i.e prayer, reading the word, fasting). Plus she needs to renounce all that she partook in with her own mouth. Confession with the mouth is very important.

And don't worry about your friend who doesn't want to discuss God with you. Ask God to soften her heart and resolve whatever issues she may be going thru that are making her resent God at the moment. People tend to get offended when they preach to others and they get rejected. We are only to plant the seeds, God is the one that makes the growth.

I pray that helps put things into perspective. Be Blessed.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
4) My cousin is a lesbian who has given her life to Christ but the feelnigs have never left her. But then again her being at my hosue the past while I haven't seen her read the word or anything, and she says she doesn't know why she isn't on fire for God. I want to encourage her and have tried but I'm not sure where it goes.

Aviah, these Ministries may be of help for you for your cousin.

www.peoplecanchange.com

www.theevidenceministries.org or www.theevidenceministries.com

www.lovewonout.org

All is not lost for your Dreams and neither for your cousin. God has the plan and the path for you to embrace the answers.

Blessings to you.
 
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Prudent1

Well-Known Member
Aviah,
Hi! :hiya: You have a lot going on right now. Pretty easy to be overwhelmed huh? :dazed: I would like to share with you this prayer asking for God's help. The Lord wants us balanced so that we are not easy targets for the enemy.:yep: I want you to be encouraged and know that God is able to do anything but fail. Who is like the Lord our God? (Ex 15:11 & 1 Sam 2:2)

It is said if you do anything consistently for 30 days that thing becomes a habit. I'm not suggesting there's some magic formula for God's promises but, try praying this or parts of it you know you need for the next 30 days. See if God doesn't reveal some things to you regarding your situations.
Prudent1

Lord Help Me Prayer
We are not moved by what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. We are not moved by reason. We are only moved by Your Spirit and Your Word and we know Your Voice, and we hear Your Voice and we refuse to follow strangers according to John 10:27. Our seed is mighty upon the earth according to Psalms 112:2. Lord Jesus, I ask you to expand my territories; to fill me and increase me in the Holy Spirit and anointing with power.
I ask You to lead me in paths of righteousness for Your Name’s Sake.
I Bless You, Praise You, Worship You, and commit all that I am to You, that Your perfect will be done through me.
I ask that You help me to cease from my own labors. I do so by faith.
I ask that You cause me to enter Your Rest now, in Jesus’ Name and I receive that.
I ask You to release my warring and ministering angels to minister and war on my behalf.
I ask you to fill this, Your temple; with as much Shikinah Glory as possible.
Help me to bear the cross You have prepared for me and help those in my family.
I ask that the Holy Spirit speak to my heart through Your Word.
I ask that You prepare me with reverence and worship, and with humility through Your Holy Spirit.
I ask that You take out of me, add to me or do to me; anything You want.
I ask that the Word I read would be engrafted into me and become part of me; spirit, mind, will and emotions.
I declare by Your power; You are helping and causing me to be bold, dauntless, fearless, confident, intrepid, valiant, steadfast, faithful, true and loyal for Your Name’s Sake.
I ask You to deliver me where I am blind, wretched, naked, and poor. I ask for your help.
I ask You to help me not be the accuser of the brethren but to teach others in gentleness, to be a help in season, to edify, to exhort and comfort others.
I ask for Love and Grace for others and Grace from You Lord. I ask for help that Your Love and Grace in me; flow and be administered to others by Your Spirit in me, to manifest Your Presence in and through me.
I release all things into Your hands and commit myself unto You, trusting You.
I ask for help, that You give me the Word that You want me to give to others.
Lord forgive me and help me to follow Your direction.
I ask that You would send those that would receive the gift of salvation to me, that I may witness to them. Let them ask and receive, Father!
I ask that You give me a clear mind and thoughts toward You, clear will toward You, and clear of all emotional clutter. (This is all about You. Hearing You is easier than thinking!)
I ask that You cause me to hear You louder and clearer, and rest in You.
I ask You to release Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, with long-suffering, and self-control to flow over and in and throughout my life. (I ask You to fashion my heart like Yours, that Your fruit will abound in and through me to others.)
I ask You Father for a clear, sharp, and healthy mind and body in You.
Heavenly Father, I ask for Your perfect Will being worked out through my life and the lives of those that my life touch; as You direct me.
I ask You for eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to comprehend and receive what the Holy Spirit has to say.
I ask to speak and to do Your perfect will in this life; for You, for me, and for my family.
I ask You to guard me and my family with many angels and that they manifest as needed.
I ask You to make me alert, awake, sharp and attentive in Your thoughts and ways.
I ask that I may prosper in what I put my hands to do for You. I ask you to renew my youth like the eagles. I ask for a heart like Yours and growth and maturity to walk in it to the fullest with You; in Jesus’ Name. Amen!
Holy Spirit have Your way with all of me, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!
Heavenly Father, I declare Your faithfulness to the heavens and Your loving kindness and tender mercies anew every morning. Amen!
Heavenly Father, I ask that my mind, will and emotions do not deceive me in hearing Your Voice and be still in Jesus' Name.
Heavenly Father, I ask that You shut any doors that need to be shut and open any doors that need to be opened in the spiritual and natural realms in Jesus' Name. Heavenly Father, I plead the blood of Jesus over those
doorways and ask that the enemy be rendered powerless and harmless so they can not come back through those doorways ever again; to me, ____,
____, and ____, our houses, lands, properties, vehicles, work places, schools, and finances in Jesus' Name. Amen!
 

Aviah

Well-Known Member
NOW FOR SOME GOOD NEWS


Can the church turn the tide with men? Yes! It not only can, but it must. Jesus built His church on twelve Spirit-filled men who changed the world. We must do the same: you cannot have a thriving church without a core of men who are true followers of Christ. If the men are dead, the church is dead.


Fortunately, pioneering churches and parachurch organizations are enjoying remarkable success in reaching men for Christ. New forms of worship and ministry tailored to the needs of men are springing up in the unlikeliest places. Some of the fastest-growing churches in America are also those most successful in reaching men.



To learn more about these ministries, visit my Web site, www.churchformen.com.


Can your church turn the tide with men? Yes! But please don’t hand this book to the minister and say, “Pastor, you need to do this!” Many of the needed changes cannot be imposed from above, but must bubble up from the congregation itself. Too often it’s not what the leadership imposes but what the laity demands that causes the church to repel men.



If your church has a large gender gap, it’s probably not the pastor’s fault. The people in the pews hold the steering wheel on this one. In the coming pages I suggest dozens of ways to make your congregation more attractive to men. Your job is to read, pray, and take action wherever you can. Individual churchgoers have more influence than they think.


ABOVE ALL, DON’T DESPAIR!


As you read the dire statistics on male participation, don’t panic! This low ebb may be part of the church’s natural cycle. Over time the church tends to get out of balance and lose its masculine spirit. Then God raises a lion—a Martin Luther, John Wesley, Charles Finney, or Billy Sunday—to drag the church back into balance. The men return. The great revivals of the past three centuries always transformed large numbers of men.


God has balanced His church many times before. He will do so again. Our job is to confront the current gender gap for what it is: a strategy of the evil one to weaken the church. We need to understand what causes the gap and have the courage to remove the barriers that discourage and demoralize men. God will call men back to Himself. Will the church be ready?


Dream for a moment. What would church be like if the majority of the worshippers were men? Not just males taking up pew space, but strong, earthy men who were truly alive in Christ. Men who were there not just to please their wives, to fulfill religious tradition, or to go on a power trip, but men who were there to rock their world. Can you even imagine what that would feel like? Imagine what such a church could accomplish for the kingdom of God!


Impossible you say? Just read the book of Acts. The church was like this once; it can be so again.

Thank You Shimmie, very insightful:yep:
 

Aviah

Well-Known Member
Here's my take on your "everything"

1) Gal i sure hope that God is the only reason you are in this relationship. Sometimes we want to keep someone and convince ourselves that it is God telling us to stay in a stagnant rship( because our soulish man can be so strong at times that we convince ourselves is God. When God speaks, most of the time there is inner peace & a scripture to boot).
If he loves and cares for you then the both of you need to have a strait talk: " look, i need you to want to be in this rship wholeheartedly. No one is promised tomorrow, so you telling me that we need counselling later, is really not helping us NOW. it's like building a house & not putting a roof until when you see the rain clouds coming- not wise."


If he needs to get with another man in the church to help him out then that's fine but ultimately he has to develop a relationship with God for himself.

2) When you don't feel like praying or reading the Word, put on some praise music or a sermon. That will get you in the groove of things. The same way we don't feel like waking up on monday morning to go to work or school but still drag ourselves out of bed, sometimes you have to turn off the tv, radio,ipod and pick up that bible. Start with Psalms... very easy understand and it is praise. Plus reading out loud helps me alot!

3) Trust in God & he will bring you your own Jonathan to help. Maybe the reason you don't have anyone right now is because God doesn't want you to become addicted/ attached to them. God is very jealous and he knows that you are probably not at a stage where you can have friends but not lean on them all the time. That is how people end up abused by so called "church folk". you need to be wise. have a relationship with God first and He will bring the right people.

4) Growing in God is not a feeling.
that is a HUGE misconception people have about the Holy Spirit, He is not a drug to sedate, give you a high, make you feel good kind of Spirit. He is a teacher, comforter, advisor.
Your cousin just came to the Lord, she is a baby. A baby cannot feed itself, change itself or care for itself. You have to feed her the word. Get her a bible, concordance and a notebook. Have designated time for bible study together,read the word, pray together.
Esp for her lesbian feelings. Just because she FEELS like being with a woman doesn't mean that she has to. She is a new creature in Christ, old is gone, new is here... but she has to everyday, all day crucify that soulish man. The only way that is possible is thru prayer, the Word & fasting. Maybe you two can fast for a day, just asking God to kill those lesbian desires and replace them with Godly desires( i.e prayer, reading the word, fasting). Plus she needs to renounce all that she partook in with her own mouth. Confession with the mouth is very important.

And don't worry about your friend who doesn't want to discuss God with you. Ask God to soften her heart and resolve whatever issues she may be going thru that are making her resent God at the moment. People tend to get offended when they preach to others and they get rejected. We are only to plant the seeds, God is the one that makes the growth.

I pray that helps put things into perspective. Be Blessed.

Thank You for this.
1)The things I have mentioned about God speaking to me are largely from scripture. I would get them while I'm reading the Word. I've questioned it many times and have been very real with myself and God. I used to (and still sometimes) have an outlook that if things are not what you want it to be right now, it will never change- forget it. God would then show me something in his word or give me a short Rhema word to encourage me to keep at it.
I trust God more than I trust my own judgment or him, he is only man. I wholeheartedly agree with having the straight talk, and I know it is only he that can deepen that relationship with God for himself. I know he has a relationship with God, I just want him to be more open about it with me...

2) Thank you so much for that suggestion, again yesterday when I wrote this I was feeling like "the world was coming to an end" :violin:. Though these things are still a concern, its much better and I'm getting back into His word.

3) I know God will bring some close friends in time, but its about relying on him at the moment.

4) I'm going to have a little bible study with her today at our house. She's with us for 6 weeks, maybe I should have more bibles studies and share the word with her more then go for the fast with her?

It has put some things into perspective for me. Again, thank you.
 

Aviah

Well-Known Member
Aviah,
Hi! :hiya: You have a lot going on right now. Pretty easy to be overwhelmed huh? :dazed: I would like to share with you this prayer asking for God's help. The Lord wants us balanced so that we are not easy targets for the enemy.:yep: I want you to be encouraged and know that God is able to do anything but fail. Who is like the Lord our God? (Ex 15:11 & 1 Sam 2:2)

It is said if you do anything consistently for 30 days that thing becomes a habit. I'm not suggesting there's some magic formula for God's promises but, try praying this or parts of it you know you need for the next 30 days. See if God doesn't reveal some things to you regarding your situations.
Prudent1

Lord Help Me Prayer
We are not moved by what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. We are not moved by reason. We are only moved by Your Spirit and Your Word and we know Your Voice, and we hear Your Voice and we refuse to follow strangers according to John 10:27. Our seed is mighty upon the earth according to Psalms 112:2. Lord Jesus, I ask you to expand my territories; to fill me and increase me in the Holy Spirit and anointing with power.
I ask You to lead me in paths of righteousness for Your Name’s Sake.
I Bless You, Praise You, Worship You, and commit all that I am to You, that Your perfect will be done through me.
I ask that You help me to cease from my own labors. I do so by faith.
I ask that You cause me to enter Your Rest now, in Jesus’ Name and I receive that.
I ask You to release my warring and ministering angels to minister and war on my behalf.
I ask you to fill this, Your temple; with as much Shikinah Glory as possible.
Help me to bear the cross You have prepared for me and help those in my family.
I ask that the Holy Spirit speak to my heart through Your Word.
I ask that You prepare me with reverence and worship, and with humility through Your Holy Spirit.
I ask that You take out of me, add to me or do to me; anything You want.
I ask that the Word I read would be engrafted into me and become part of me; spirit, mind, will and emotions.
I declare by Your power; You are helping and causing me to be bold, dauntless, fearless, confident, intrepid, valiant, steadfast, faithful, true and loyal for Your Name’s Sake.
I ask You to deliver me where I am blind, wretched, naked, and poor. I ask for your help.
I ask You to help me not be the accuser of the brethren but to teach others in gentleness, to be a help in season, to edify, to exhort and comfort others.
I ask for Love and Grace for others and Grace from You Lord. I ask for help that Your Love and Grace in me; flow and be administered to others by Your Spirit in me, to manifest Your Presence in and through me.
I release all things into Your hands and commit myself unto You, trusting You.
I ask for help, that You give me the Word that You want me to give to others.
Lord forgive me and help me to follow Your direction.
I ask that You would send those that would receive the gift of salvation to me, that I may witness to them. Let them ask and receive, Father!
I ask that You give me a clear mind and thoughts toward You, clear will toward You, and clear of all emotional clutter. (This is all about You. Hearing You is easier than thinking!)
I ask that You cause me to hear You louder and clearer, and rest in You.
I ask You to release Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, with long-suffering, and self-control to flow over and in and throughout my life. (I ask You to fashion my heart like Yours, that Your fruit will abound in and through me to others.)
I ask You Father for a clear, sharp, and healthy mind and body in You.
Heavenly Father, I ask for Your perfect Will being worked out through my life and the lives of those that my life touch; as You direct me.
I ask You for eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to comprehend and receive what the Holy Spirit has to say.
I ask to speak and to do Your perfect will in this life; for You, for me, and for my family.
I ask You to guard me and my family with many angels and that they manifest as needed.
I ask You to make me alert, awake, sharp and attentive in Your thoughts and ways.
I ask that I may prosper in what I put my hands to do for You. I ask you to renew my youth like the eagles. I ask for a heart like Yours and growth and maturity to walk in it to the fullest with You; in Jesus’ Name. Amen!
Holy Spirit have Your way with all of me, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!
Heavenly Father, I declare Your faithfulness to the heavens and Your loving kindness and tender mercies anew every morning. Amen!
Heavenly Father, I ask that my mind, will and emotions do not deceive me in hearing Your Voice and be still in Jesus' Name.
Heavenly Father, I ask that You shut any doors that need to be shut and open any doors that need to be opened in the spiritual and natural realms in Jesus' Name. Heavenly Father, I plead the blood of Jesus over those
doorways and ask that the enemy be rendered powerless and harmless so they can not come back through those doorways ever again; to me, ____,
____, and ____, our houses, lands, properties, vehicles, work places, schools, and finances in Jesus' Name. Amen!

Thank you so much, I just prayed this. Powerful. I need to make note of these prayer points!!!
 
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