Just a thought...

RainbowCurls

New Member
I've read a few times that when (black/mixed) women have relaxed their hair, (often jealous) people will accuse them of "trying to be white", by wanting to have long straight hair etc.

Why not 'wanting to be asian'? A lot of Indian women have much longer hair than most caucasian women and their natural hair colors will be closer to those of black women.

Or 'wanting to be oriental'? Who seem to have the straightest hair around?

I don't see how 'white' comes into it, when there are many other people on this planet who have traditionally longer or straighter hair. (Have you seen how many white women straighten that 'annoying wave' out of their hair?!)

BTW, I have nothing against people who relax, I don't see it as trying to be someone else, just a preference for having straight hair.
 

baglady215

Well-Known Member
I don't think it has as much to do with the hair texture of white people. It's about our history with white folks. Some people (not me) see it as a need to live up to the European standard of beauty. Asian people go through this too. I saw a segment on Tyra about eyelid surgery. Me personally, I don't see how my hair, relaxed or not, could EVER be confused with a white persons. :lol: And I'm proud to say so.
 

sweetcashew

Well-Known Member
Well I live in a predominantly Indian neighborhood and I hear the wanna be indian thing. Where I grew up, it wasn't about wanting to be white, it was "you think you coolie or something?"
So I guess it depends on culture.
 

HairPhoenix

New Member
BagLady is right in that it has everything to do with our history in this country. It is a long history lesson that is not taught in our schools, but is woven deeply into the fabric of our society. In general, Asian, Indian, etc. are usually left out of the equation in the "us versus them" arena. You have to understand that the white, blue-eyed, blonde who wears a size 0 is pushed as the standard in the US. Some people actually believe in that standard. I personally do not.

I totally disagree with that mode of thinking. I think we are all different and we should be accepted by one another on an individual basis. It's not that we women who want long healthy hair are chasing that standard, but it is some people's perception that we are. Therefore when those ignorant haters see it (the hair), they feel threatened. Fear leads to hate and they strike out in an attempt to cause hurt. Telling a black person that they are trying to be white is one of the greatest insults of all.
 

RainbowCurls

New Member
Hmm... I agree, it's got to be the history, and 'trying to be white' would be the biggest insult.

Toni A, the standard in the UK is similar to the one you mentioned for the US, here it seems to be, size 6-8 (us size 2-4?), white but fake tanned to an orangey shade, blue eyed, blonde highlighted straightened hair.
 

HairPhoenix

New Member
PerfectDoak said:
Hmm... I agree, it's got to be the history, and 'trying to be white' would be the biggest insult.

Toni A, the standard in the UK is similar to the one you mentioned for the US, here it seems to be, size 6-8 (us size 2-4?), white but fake tanned to an orangey shade, blue eyed, blonde highlighted straightened hair.


My grandmother used to tell me stories about when there was a long period of time after slavery that some African-Americans would "try to pass for white" just so that they could get decent paying jobs and live in better neighborhoods. If they were light enough and had what the old timers over here call "good hair", they could do it. So that may be a part of where the "trying to be white" comes from.

In my opinion if you have healthy hair, then you have good hair! :smirk:

And, yeah, I know it sounds ludicrous but they do actually make size 0 clothes here. Hollywood pushed that standard and there were quite a few reports of female celebrities starving themselves to get to that size. :ohwell:

The issue of white people tanning just opens a whole different can of worms!!! :lachen: :drunk: :lachen:
 

Isis

New Member
PerfectDoak said:
I've read a few times that when (black/mixed) women have relaxed their hair, (often jealous) people will accuse them of "trying to be white", by wanting to have long straight hair etc.

Why not 'wanting to be asian'? A lot of Indian women have much longer hair than most caucasian women and their natural hair colors will be closer to those of black women.

Or 'wanting to be oriental'? Who seem to have the straightest hair around?

I don't see how 'white' comes into it, when there are many other people on this planet who have traditionally longer or straighter hair. (Have you seen how many white women straighten that 'annoying wave' out of their hair?!)

BTW, I have nothing against people who relax, I don't see it as trying to be someone else, just a preference for having straight hair.

Actually, Asian = oriental and I've learned that "oriental" is not the preferred description by most Asians.

Most black women who wear weaves are wearing Asian hair and not white hair so "trying to be white" doesn't make sense except for the survival history in the U.S., as was mentioned before.

There are black women (and men) in other countries who grow their hair long because of their own culture, not even knowing about the white standards of this western society. People who claim black women with long, straight hair as trying to be white are just uneducated and/or feeling threatened as I mentioned in another thread.
 
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metalkitty

New Member
I think its really interesting in general what types of things people do in different cultures for beauty's sake. Like someone else said the whole thing in some Asian countries with women getting surgery on their eyelids to look more western and get better jobs they believe. Or the skin bleaching aids in Africa with toxic effects. Its just interesting how far people will go, look at all the caucasian women here in America frying and ruining their skin to fake orangey colors while still some Asians and blacks look for ways to lighten the skin. I heard that there is/ was a trend in Japan of Afro- perms that give straight hair a natural 4a/b texture! Sorry if I got a little off topic. I belive what Toni A's reeasoning behind the whole 'trying to be white' thing.
 

PittGirl06

Hair product junkie reloaded!
also not all white people have naturally straight hair in fact most of them don't and many of them use chemical relaxers themselves....the whole "wanting to be white" thing is just ridiculous.
 

RainbowCurls

New Member
Isis said:
Actually, Asian = oriental and I've learned that "oriental" is not the preferred description by most Asians.
Sorry, I wasn't aware of this, sorry if I offended anyone.

metalkitty said:
I think its really interesting in general what types of things people do in different cultures for beauty's sake.
It's interesting how the things that people do are often things to make them look less like other people from their culture, so the hardest to acheive looks, more money for some big companies... :scratchch:

PittGirl06 said:
also not all white people have naturally straight hair in fact most of them don't and many of them use chemical relaxers themselves....the whole "wanting to be white" thing is just ridiculous.
Agreed!
 

hotshot

Well-Known Member
um, because white has historically been the dominant oppressive culture in the US and around the world. the image of whiteness and white beauty are more pervasive than other straight haired groups.
 

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
My mom is light skinned and had brastap hair. Noone belived that she was my mother because I was darker than she was..:mad: When she was in High school, people used to call her "white girl". Point: Jealousy can come from any culture. Letting a jealous person bring you down only brightens their day, not yours. Rock your long hair and screw the haters.:D
 

HairPhoenix

New Member
DDtexlaxd said:
My mom is light skinned and had brastap hair. Noone belived that she was my mother because I was darker than she was..:mad: When she was in High school, people used to call her "white girl". Point: Jealousy can come from any culture. Letting a jealous person bring you down only brightens their day, not yours. Rock your long hair and screw the haters.:D

Well said, DDtexlaxd. :clapping:

Sorry to hear that your mother went throught that. You are so right that it comes from all angles. I am darker than my mother, and she is darker than my grandmother. And here is the other prejudice... I like to praise my multi-racial family heritage, but it doesn't mean that I am rejecting my African heritage or trying to be anything other than me. I am deep dark chocolate and I love it and it doesn't mean that I love my mother or grandmother or any other family member any less. I have had people call me "white girl" simply because I don't have a "typical" AA big butt. Can you believe that sh@#?! :mad:

With age comes wisdom and I have learned that there are always going to be people drawing lines between what is acceptable to them and what is different from their standards. I just say WHATEVER!

It reminds me of that Dr. Seuss story about the Star Bellied Sneechers. Remember that one? (If not, look it up.) Those guys were never satisfied until they were all alike (either stars or no stars), but somehow they were never all alike. And the whole thing got started by some intruder from outside of their world who had absolutely nothing to do with any of them. The intruder was sitting back making mad money off all of them. :lachen: That one is a classic!

But I digress... I'm just saying "Can't we all just get along?"
 
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