Losing so much hair that it's cry worthy

[Lilmama1011]

My quoted response is below. I know there is nothing I can do but you ladies understanding and input is truly making a world of difference

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

It's sad that you offer your expertise on hair and they don't want to listen. When I talk about hair to my mom she gets extremely bored. But she went out and got s curl and grapeseed oil and it's not being put to use. I sent her pic of my hair and she said it's growing and I must be taking her hair. Now I took this lightly. My sis sent me a pic of her hair saying she looks like a old substitute teacher we had with a little ponytail and I laughed. But when I saw her hair I wanted to cry. When I left in Jersey her hair was in the middle of her back when stretched. Now it's like the length of Florida Evans. My sis says she doesn't do anything to it which I can tell. She use to braid and grease it now she just walks around with her cotton bandana with it out. Her hair is so thin you can see scalp in certain parts. She has very bad hair routines. She never conditioned because she said her hair is already soft. You can have dry soft hair which she has. She combs shampoo through her hair aggressively. She isn't gentle and her hair has been thinning. She claims her hair tangles badly when she throws it all over the place or doesn't sleep with nothing protective on her hair. But my mom is hard headed and she will be bald soon with wispy hair which I think will age her even more. She isn't a typical women so she not very feminine and not into makeup and dressing presentable. Always cut up holed up shirts around the house with a chicken head scarf on. I always hated that growing up. Then losing hair for no reason because she is lazy. Like how do you keep your man interested. I know this is my mom but no sex appeal. Then she talks to her man like a kid yelling and etc. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets led astray one day. But what can you do? You can offer opinions or whatever but I don't think anything can be done. You can force anybody to do anything.

I will never be my mom when it comes to that. I think it's trifling. She has type 3 hair. Maybe 3c. I have combed her hair before and it's so easy to get under control. She is the one that taught us to comb from the bottom to the top. She doesn't do it. You just don't know how it pisses me off!

How old are you? Are you in your early twenties? Did you mean to write this in purple font? You sound really judgmental. There is more to life than having long hair and looking glamorous all the time. Your mom might be a low maintenance type of woman. She could also be going through something right now. She could also be so focused on other things that take precedence over clothing and hair. If you are so concerned, pamper your mother and try a spa day. If you talk to your mother with the same judgement that appears in you post I understand why she ignores you.

 

[Lilmama1011]

How old are you? Are you in your early twenties? Did you mean to write this in purple font? You sound really judgmental. There is more to life than having long hair and looking glamorous all the time. Your mom might be a low maintenance type of woman. She could also be going through something right now. She could also be so focused on other things that take precedence over clothing and hair. If you are so concerned, pamper your mother and try a spa day. If you talk to your mother with the same judgement that appears in you post I understand why she ignores you.

No it's just pure laziness. Her talking about her hair is thinning and she has been saying this for years and I never understood until I got into healthy hair practices that she does a lot of wth things. how you seek advice and then ignore it. I am lost with that. Didn't you just read she doesn't like things like that. So why would she like to be pampered? She doesn't like getting her nails done and hair. She isn't going through anything. She has no worries

 

[Lilmama1011]

How old are you? Are you in your early twenties? Did you mean to write this in purple font? You sound really judgmental. There is more to life than having long hair and looking glamorous all the time. Your mom might be a low maintenance type of woman. She could also be going through something right now. She could also be so focused on other things that take precedence over clothing and hair. If you are so concerned, pamper your mother and try a spa day. If you talk to your mother with the same judgement that appears in you post I understand why she ignores you.

It's more of a vent then asking anything. What's the point of purple font? And I'm not even talking about having long hair mostly. It's you being able to see her scalp when it's out. It's sad. Her hair thinning has always been a problem but she isn't do anything to reverse it. If your not going to read everything don't comment

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

It's more of a vent then asking anything. What's the point of purple font? And I'm not even talking about having long hair mostly. It's you being able to see her scalp when it's out. It's sad. Her hair thinning has always been a problem but she isn't do anything to reverse it. If your not going to read everything don't comment

I read the entire book length vent you wrote. My comment remains the same.

 

[Lilmama1011]

I read the entire book length vent you wrote. My comment remains the same.

OH OK....Well you don't comprehend then

 

[CaraWalker]

i dont think shes being judgmental. i think shes frustrated because she wants her mom to take better care of herself.

 

[Lilmama1011]

i dont think shes being judgmental. i think shes frustrated because she wants her mom to take better care of herself.

bunnycolvin Thank you so much. your comment means everything to me. She doesn't understand where I'm coming from. When I saw the pic I almost wanted to cry because it could easily be reversed

 

[HanaKuroi]

I understood you. Your mom isn't even doing the bare minimum. She is doing nothing but making the problem worse by doing nothing. Her neglect is affecting her hair. I would be frustrated too.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[Saludable84]

I get the impression you want your mother to take better care of herself and at the same time don't want to walk in her shadow. You also want her to have more pride in her appearance.

I hate to tell ya Lilmama1011 but you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to aspire to perhaps not be that. We all pick up some patterns from our environment, but you don't have to pick up all of them. I spoke with my mother today and I continue to learn what things I want to learn from her (and not be) and some things I see I have from her and try to reduce. Just take it as a learning lesson.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Perhaps she's entering into some phase of Peri-Menopause. Hormonal 'issues' can affect a lot of things including Hair/Emotions/Attitude.

You may think she doesn't have any 'worries' but that's all subjective. On how you see it.

But maybe inside her it isn't that way at all. No one knows deep down what someone else might be going through.

Proceed gently.

And maybe at some point and time her interest will change.

Afterall, she did buy the GSO and the other item you mentioned, so even though she hasn't used it yet, it sounds like it's on her radar.

 

[Lilmama1011]

How old are you? Are you in your early twenties? Did you mean to write this in purple font? You sound really judgmental. There is more to life than having long hair and looking glamorous all the time. Your mom might be a low maintenance type of woman. She could also be going through something right now. She could also be so focused on other things that take precedence over clothing and hair. If you are so concerned, pamper your mother and try a spa day. If you talk to your mother with the same judgement that appears in you post I understand why she ignores you.

MilkChocolateOne Being judgmental would be judging someone and not knowing where they come from. I know my mom struggles. She isn't going through anything but laziness. She complains but does everything but help the situation

 

[Lilmama1011]

I understood you. Your mom isn't even doing the bare minimum. She is doing nothing but making the problem worse by doing nothing. Her neglect is affecting her hair. I would be frustrated too.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

HanaKuroi thank you so much for understanding. I thought because she started to make me look like a terrible person the thread would turn. It's crazy when you just fed up and a person turns it on you without fully conprehending

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

Lilmama1011 sorry you're going through such a tough time with your mom. What I can tell you is in situations like this its best just left alone. With people who don't want advice or to listen/take into consideration your advice there isn't anything you can really do. There are people out there who are set in their ways and your mom happens to be one of them. All you can do is not let it get to you hun bc you will stress yourself out. The reality is it's her hair and she will do as she pleases. If she complains or vents to you her frustrations or worries regarding her hair just listen and be there for her. Give advice only when asked and if she doesn't take it in stride so be it. Don't get worked up ma'am...

 

[Lilmama1011]

Lilmama1011 sorry you're going through such a tough time with your mom. What I can tell you is in situations like this its best just left alone. With people who don't want advice or to listen/take into consideration your advice there isn't anything you can really do. There are people out there who are set in their ways and your mom happens to be one of them. All you can do is not let it get to you hun bc you will stress yourself out. The reality is it's her hair and she will do as she pleases. If she complains or vents to you her frustrations or worries regarding her hair just listen and be there for her. Give advice only when asked and if she doesn't take it in stride so be it. Don't get worked up ma'am...

HairPleezeGrow I understand, I'm just a very empathetic person. MY sister thinks it's funny her hair looks like that but I seriously wanted to cry. To see your mom hair in the worst it has ever been. I thought she cut her hair but it broke off and is thinning. She isn't even doing the little stuff she once was doing

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@Lilmama1011

I'm sure she's listening to you (hence purchasing those items).

I think she'll come around.

It might take someone else to ask her 'what's going on with your hair?'

Before the lightbulb comes on that she needs to deal with it.

Be Patient Girlie. Don't lose hope.

At least you'll know how to help her recover from a Set-Back.

ETA: If it is 'hormonal' it will do everything you just described. Thin, Break, Shed etc......

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

HairPleezeGrow I understand, I'm just a very empathetic person. MY sister thinks it's funny her hair looks like that but I seriously wanted to cry. To see your mom hair in the worst it has ever been. I thought she cut her hair but it broke off and is thinning. She isn't even doing the little stuff she once was doing

I hear you but know that we are here for you anytime you want to vent girl. Is your sister still there with your mom? Maybe she can offer to help her like they come up with a wash day and dc routine, etc.

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

Lilmama, I don't think you are a horrible person. I think you just don't understand your mother. Of course you know your mom better than strangers on the internet. All I am saying her struggles might be deeper than you know. She might be unhappy with her situation and may not have the energy or desire to do anything about it. Maybe she gave up. I know you want to help her but you might have to step back, stop giving advice and try a different approach.

 

[Lilmama1011]

Perhaps she's entering into some phase of Peri-Menopause. Hormonal 'issues' can affect a lot of things including Hair/Emotions/Attitude.

You may think she doesn't have any 'worries' but that's all subjective. On how you see it.

But maybe inside her it isn't that way at all. No one knows deep down what someone else might be going through.

Proceed gently.

And maybe at some point and time her interest will change.

Afterall, she did buy the GSO and the other item you mentioned, so even though she hasn't used it yet, it sounds like it's on her radar.

It might just be menopause or pure laziness idk.

 

[Lilmama1011]

Lilmama, I don't think you are a horrible person. I think you just don't understand your mother. Of course you know your mom better than strangers on the internet. All I am saying her struggles might be deeper than you know. She might be unhappy with her situation and may not have the energy or desire to do anything about it. Maybe she gave up. I know you want to help her but you might have to step back, stop giving advice and try a different approach.

I'm done giving advice because it just falls on deaf ears. She was talking about one of her friends laughing about her hair and she said "at least I have hair" but I'm thinking now barely.

 

[ChocolatePie777]

I know what you mean and feel......but for me it was only the hair thing cause my mom takes care of everything else and is really attractive.......my mom was so lazy (and still ) with her hair yet complained all the time about it....then when I told her or show her what to do she brushed it off........but shes gotten much better....mainly I think because we live together and see my hair thriving so it makes her want to try and pay attention a little more.........down side is she takes my stuff though lol

 

[Lilmama1011]

I know what you mean and feel......but for me it was only the hair thing cause my mom takes care of everything else and is really attractive.......my mom was so lazy (and still ) with her hair yet complained all the time about it....then when I told her or show her what to do she brushed it off........but shes gotten much better....mainly I think because we live together and see my hair thriving so it makes her want to try and pay attention a little more.........down side is she takes my stuff though lol

I would love for my mom to use up my stuff or tell me to send her stuff: dreaming:

 

[ChocolatePie777]

I would love for my mom to use up my stuff or tell me to send her stuff: dreaming:

Maybe you should send her stuff anyway.....like a cute care package

 

[Lilmama1011]

Maybe you should send her stuff anyway.....like a cute care package

chocolate was seriously thinking about it but it would collect dust. Before Ieft I taught her how to moisturize and seal and use eco styler to define her curls and she kept doing it for the summer and said she was getting so many compliments and then she claimed miss Jessie was making her hair fall out . When it was fine before. She is just getting less and less patience. I seriously want to jump on a plane or ship her here: look: and nurse it back to health

 

[*CherryPie*]

I'm going with the peri-menopause/emotional issues on this one. If she used to have long hair and took care of it just fine before, now all of a sudden she stops taking care of it and it's falling out and balding in areas, that sounds like something other than laziness. There's something deep going on with her. And instead of being so cold, try to find out what's really going on in her life. Maybe, if she can fix what's going on, she will start caring again.

 

[charmtreese]

Lilmama1011 I empathize with your post and hopes your mom comes around. Mother and daughter relationships are sooooo complex!