Queenmickie
Always thinking about my next hairstyle.
Just wondering why the Relationships section is limited to male-female relationships only? This forum is progressive on most other social issues. I don't understand the restriction.
Question Male-female relationships only?
- Thread starter Queenmickie
- Start date
43. Same-sex relationships are prohibited from being discussed on this forum.
Because:
08. The owner of this forum is a believer of Christianity, and therefore this site does have elements that support the Christian faith.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=505823
Because:
08. The owner of this forum is a believer of Christianity, and therefore this site does have elements that support the Christian faith.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=505823
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
It's hard enough to digest all the ratchet tendencies of heterosexual relationships. Folks don't have the constitution to deal with anyting extra.
petitefille
New Member
I only saw that after I subscribed to this forum. Although I am not homosexual and don't go into the non-hair forums, I find this rule abhorrent and disgusting and as a result, will not be renewing my subscription.
Queenmickie
Always thinking about my next hairstyle.
I have been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. Like petitefille I did not see this before. In the celebrity section we discuss gays and lesbians, and I am not clear on the reasoning behind the restriction to be honest. "The site has elements that support the Christian faith." What does that mean? There are members on here having sex outside of marriage, having children out of wedlock and getting divorced. There is no prohibition on any of that, and those behaviors are not endorsed by Christianity. I joined this site last year and it's been a saving grace for me. I have learned so much about hair care. I live overseas and the enjoy the social aspect very much, but it feels awkward not being able to talk about my relationships when others can. I acknowledge that this is an at-will membership and personally owned. The owner is entitled to her beliefs, but the responses given here, especially about "ratchet tendencies" are inesensitive to say the least. I don't want leave this site and the sense of community it provides but, I am very conflicted about staying.
Iluvsmuhgrass
Well-Known Member
I didn't take the "ratchet tendencies" as offensive at all. It's the truth. I don't think that Crackers Phinn meant it as a statement towards same-sex relationships.... I took it as this: Folks in hetero relationships do some dicey things and that people with narrow views can't handle anything else outside of their norm. I could be wrong, but that's what I got out of it.
As far as the hair board, I've made some great connections. I've learned and shared and although I'm spiritual, I'm not religious. The world is full of people.... our way isn't the only way and although it may be the right way for some, it's not the right way for all. Being tolerant and understanding of others doesn't jeopardize faith or commitment in any way shape or form. I could get deep here, but I won't. Just wanted to add my two cents.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Yeah there are a load of folks that don't agree with certain rules and regulations here so chile you ain't alone or a unicorn. You could have done a search on this topic because this isn't the first nor the last time someone has ask this question and said they won't be renewing. I am sure we all throw away 6.50 all kinds a ways so just don't participate in the forums or support the business. Just another lesson to read the fine print before joining or pushing that pay button. Loads of free and paid site are out there. Life ain't fair.
I wanna curse but they block my curse words out. I wanna talk about explicit sex but they don't allow that either. I want to post pictures of nakid menz but they don't allow that either. I want to talk about random stuff but they don't allow random thought threads in off topic cuz it always get nasty, underhanded and messy. Hell I'm a dissatisfied customer too! I want my damn 6.50 back retroactive from 2003! Imma bout to push the red alert button about this ****. I'm calling the better business bureau and 5-0 on this damn establishment. Imma start a revolt and start a petition siht! You see what I had to do to use the ratchet form of the word defecation in my previous sentence?
I wanna curse but they block my curse words out. I wanna talk about explicit sex but they don't allow that either. I want to post pictures of nakid menz but they don't allow that either. I want to talk about random stuff but they don't allow random thought threads in off topic cuz it always get nasty, underhanded and messy. Hell I'm a dissatisfied customer too! I want my damn 6.50 back retroactive from 2003! Imma bout to push the red alert button about this ****. I'm calling the better business bureau and 5-0 on this damn establishment. Imma start a revolt and start a petition siht! You see what I had to do to use the ratchet form of the word defecation in my previous sentence?
petitefille
New Member
None of the things you mentioned involve discrimination.
petitefille
New Member
I am fully aware that the owner of this website has the right to do what he wants. But I don't think it's right to continue to support something you believe to be wrong. As I said, I am neither homosexual nor do I visit the other forums so I would have no reason to discuss it. But I am acutely aware that change only happens when people boycott for the things they believe in. I would hope that when it came to race, my non-black friends would also be supportive in this way and not simply turn a blind eye to it because it doesn't directly affect them. I have learned a lot from this site but do not think my hair care is more important than tolerance.
faithVA
Well-Known Member
There is nothing that keeps you from talking about your relationship here. I know this because I have seen post from women who talk about their SO who is also a woman. You just don't have a special section for your relationship. There are many areas that don't have special sections for what members want to talk about. It is the way it is. There are people who are non-Christians who will probably never have a section on this board. It is the way it is.
Follow your conscience, if you feel that strongly about it, don't renew. For myself the benefits of the board far outway the restrictions on the board, especially for $6.50.
I think there is a way for you to participate on the board and share what you want to share in a way that still works with the board as it is.
ETA: I understand you are speaking for others and not yourself. Excuse the use of "You"
Last edited:
petitefille
New Member
I'm going by what the rule says "43. Same-sex relationships are prohibited from being discussed on this forum." I don't know how the rule is enforced but the fact that it is there disturbs me.
My hair is not more important to me than personal liberty. I'm grateful for the women on the board and will miss not being able to post or look at pictures, but there are tons of other websites, blogs, vlogs, on the internet.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
This is a private forum and they are under no obligation to allow us to discuss anything they don't want. That is why I mentioned the rules I don't agree with. Its not discrimination. If you think its discrimination contact the Feds or your Senator so they can stop this nonsense. There are too many other forums that will let us discuss whatever we feel. Well outside of that militant natural hair board.
If you mention relaxer or perm you will get your cooch handed to ya on a silver platter. Oh they have loads of alternative lifestyle living women over there. I'm sure you can get your gay, straight or whatever relationship discussion fix over there without feeling restricted or discrimination. I'm just sayin pick your battles and like you said don't renew. Choices choices choices. 6.50 ain't gone getcha everything you want around herre.
faithVA
Well-Known Member
Do what you have to do. As you said there are plenty of choices.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
The owner is a black woman. You won't be changing a damn thang on that rule here but you may get dismissed before your membership expires. Read the rules some more because alot of mess can and will get you banned. Get what you can and want from this site. This ain't something you wanna try to fight for on here. Its a waste of your precious time, energy and breath believe me. They ain't changing that rule for you, me or Jesus.
petitefille
New Member
This is a private forum and they are under no obligation to allow us to discuss anything they don't want. That is why I mentioned the rules I don't agree with. Its not discrimination. If you think its discrimination contact the Feds or your Senator so they can stop this nonsense. There are too many other forums that will let us discuss whatever we feel. Well outside of that militant natural hair board.
I'm just sayin pick your battles and like you said don't renew. Choices choices choices. 6.50 ain't gone getcha everything you want around herre.
You obviously aren't reading my posts so I'm not going to bother responding to you lol
shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
#thebisexualchickwashere...
this ain't gonna end well...
this ain't gonna end well...
LivingInPeace
Well-Known Member
Wow, I want to say something so bad! But I don't want to get banned. I'll just leave it at the fact that I saw the forum rules, but after reading a lot of these threads and learning about the lifestyles of many of the members I just said, "hmm....ookaaay?"
equestrian
New Member
I agree this rule did sort of rub me the wrong way , I fail to see how sections outside christian fellowship should be catering to christian ideals, and I fail to see how discussing same-sex relationships in the relationship section would fall into the same category as posting profane language.
of course it is the owner's site so ultimately it's up to her.
of course it is the owner's site so ultimately it's up to her.
Last edited:
LovelyLouboutin
Well-Known Member
I didn't know that was a rule. Smh
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Queenmickie
My comment was tongue in cheek. We are on a board full of grown women who have to use fluffy code words for heterosexual activity and the threads still get reported, edited, deleted, burned in effigy,etc.
If the board can't handle that women are having sex with men then spontaneous combustion would be imminent if girl/girl action is up for discussion.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Navigating this board is very easy and you can still talk about the girl you date w/o being too explicit. Hell they don't let you talk explicit about the man you date either. No reason to get ya'll panties in a bunch. I hope ya'll had a great weekend.
Queenmickie
Always thinking about my next hairstyle.
Crackers Phinn thanks for the clarification. If the board gets riled up about heterosex it's fine that they get riled up by same-sex. Where's the problem with that? Members get riled up about double posting! LOL They are entitled. Dialogue is important, fun and informative. BTW my comment/question is not about sex. My comment/question is about relationships.
pebbles
New Member
We've been asked this question several times, and the answer remains the same. There have been many who've felt as you do, and we respect their decision to leave. It's understandable, but the rules will not change. We have tried to explain on several occasions that these types of threads are too difficult to moderate. We cannot protrect members from some of the ridicule and attacks that would surely come. It's in everyone's best interest to avoid them. Heterosexual relationship threads get out of hand, and the few threads we've had about homosexual relationships that had nothing to do with members here most often have had to be closed. The moderators just don't have the time to police these threads properly. And really, I don't think we could ever do an adequate enough job that would please all sides.
grownupnai
Active Member
I hate this rule. This is the best Black hair site/support network out there, but It#s such a shame and makes me so sad that I can't talk about or should feel uncomfortable referring to my WIFE. Yes, my wife. We were married in Sweden where she's from. I dont want to give up my membership, but if I get banned I want my €5,18 back.
#LongHairedLesbian
#LongHairedLesbian
Dominican09
New Member
................................
grownupnai
Active Member
I have noticed myself also referring to her as my SO instead of anything else here. For example. "MY SO has straight hair but really likes using my ORS replenishing conditioner because it also works well on thick straight white people hair as well as it works on curly black people hair."
nothing sexual about that sentence. See, nothing sexual or perverted about that. Come on folks!
nothing sexual about that sentence. See, nothing sexual or perverted about that. Come on folks!
Last edited:
Similar threads
- Poll
