My 4B hair won't stop breaking

Nonie

Well-Known Member
Melissa Daniel, you do not need the download. Not with this forum. I downloaded it because back then I had no idea forums like this existed. What I shared is basically what the report shares.

Brenda wondered why it is that we are always using grease in our hair and scalp and believing we need to do all of that to grow long hair. White folks don't do all of that. She also noticed they washed their hair a lot more often than we did. I always thought that washing too often dried your hair. She enlightened me to the fact that water is moisture (Sounds pretty obvious now!) and that when your hair feels dry, it should be a sign that you should wash it. Because she mentioned what white folks did and because I never thought they had trouble growing long hair, somehow that went straight to my head and I just decided I'd do like they do. I knew their hair got greasy when dirty and so they washed it to get it clean and looking better. So I kinda decided I will be washing my hair often too. Only I didn't have greasy hair to wash daily, but I sorta had it in the back of my mind that they wash their hair a lot and it doesn't hurt. And Brenda said I should wash when my hair felt dry. She also mentioned that you didn't have to use shampoo all the time but just conditioner in lieu of shampoo. So it was she that introduced me to CWing. She also said you could leave a little bit of condish in your hair and not rinse it all out. (I think CelinaStarr does this). I was a bit uneasy about that idea so only tried it with Humectress which is both a wash-out and leave-in condish. I figured if there's any harm in doing what she suggested, then Humectress was a safe bet since it doesn't have to be washed out but can be used on dry hair. I didn't like the way my hair felt so I went back to just washing. Please note: Brenda didn't say not to use anything at all in your hair. I just seem to have missed where she mentioned moisturizer--probably because I was so busy comparing the suggestions with what white folks did. :giggle:

Brenda also introduced me to the idea of seamless combs. I had never paid attention to seams on plastic combs...and how they can sometimes get caught in your hair and cause damage. She enlightened me to that! She suggested filing the seams so that they were smooth. I had one of those picks with metal teeth but the base was plastic so I tried to file the seam at the base with one of those electric nail files that spin. But I also made a point of trying not to rake the base through my hair. I was in braids when I adopted Brenda's regimen so I didn't really use combs much. I did the braids myself and would undo one at a time with fingers and redo it as needed. So I went for 2 years w/o needing a comb.

There was another thing Brenda suggested: trimming the hair every 6-8 weeks...about a 1/4 inch. Folks freak out at that prospect. I think it's because they do not realize that a 1/4 inch is only this much __. The way I did this was whenever I'd undo a braid to redo, I'd snip off a tiny bit at the end. TBH, a 1/4 inch is too small an amount to accurately measure so my guess is I usually cut a bit more. But not even big enough to write home about. Like I said, I had an inch of growth in August 2001 and the rest was relaxed just about SL. With that trimming schedule, I no longer had relaxed hair by August 2002 but had 5-6 inches. If we do the Math and assume I was growing 1/2 inch a month. That'd mean 6 inches a year. For simplicity, let's assume I was trimming 1/4 every 2 months (8 weeks--TBH I didn't keep a calendar so it was an estimate between 6-8 weeks, but let's call it 8 weeks to keep it simple). That's cutting a 1/4 every 2 months. In a year, then I would've cut off 6 times that which is 1.5 inches. Out of 6 inches of growth, should've retained 4.5 inches. Adding that to an inch that I started with, that'd be 5.5 inches total...which is roughly what I had. Now that seems like a regular growth rate and nothing spectacular. But you have to understand, never in all my life had I got there in ONE YEAR. Also that retention is better than any I ever had in my life! And it didn't stop at that. I continued that regimen and had 9-11 inches by August 2003. Again, same retention. Then I found LHCF and started trying all sorts of thing. :whyme: and my hair didn't thank me. :lol: So I returned to my simple regimen.

I do want to mention though, that I am not suggesting you don't use any leave-in. I just find that it works very well for me. Products make my scalp itch so not having anything on my head when I baggy feels wonderful. Also it seems that since I stopped smothering stuff on my head, my hair is softer than ever. The only way I can explain it is that the baggy I use nightly or under headwraps/hats helps me hold onto moisture from conditioning--particularly DCing which I learned about from Cathy Howse and found folks here did it too (or from just washing as Brenda explained). I think the baggying also encourages sebum production because my hair seems to stay soft--which I associate w/ moisture. For someone used to having stuff on their hair, my hair may feel dry but I do remember it being dry and hard and just difficult to deal with. Not anymore.

After your hair gets to SL, protective styling becomes imperative. Lazy Nonie though doesn't even try to make the effort...so I suspect that explain the crawl her growth as slowed down to. But unlike in the past where I stayed at one length, I'm slowly creeping along. I never thought I'd see a hair reach APL, but it did...and not just one. So even with my laziness, I'm still retaining, and I think I have a prayer because of dusting so that the damage at the ends isn't speeding up to the rest of the strands. I'll admit that I didn't really stick to dusting regimen for years, since 2003...and only just set a regular schedule this year (8 weeks) so I'm slightly more focused now. If I can just push myself to PS, I think I'd do better.

Anyway, if you want to download Brenda's report, it's no different from buying a book. I honestly could not have survived this forum if I walked in the way I was before Brenda. I'd have been overwhelmed by all the info. That simple regimen gave me a starting point and then I read Cathy Howse's book and learned about DCing and the importance of protein. So by the time I joined LHCF, I was somewhat set in a regimen and LHCF just served more as a reference than a place where I was looking for all my direction. So it was easy for me to determine when something wasn't working. For instance, when I joined LHCF, I adopted the good habit that Cathy taught: moisture, moisture, moisture. I found it was approved of here so tried it. But I also adopted the no trimming regimen of Cathy's because again LHCFers (some of them) approved of it. In 4 months, my hair suffered, and thinned terribly. I had to cut off 2 inches to make it look right. I had also adopted the hair supplements I found others taking. But after a few months, it was clear that these additional supplements were not making a difference, perhaps because I try to eat healthily and was probably already getting what I needed from my multi and food. And it was clear moisture, moisture, moisture didn't make my hair grow any faster, but rather just grossed me out to have stuff on my hair touching my face, ears, neck and making me break out. Then of course the "no trimming" regimen didn't work at all for me. But I had a regimen that worked to go back to, which I did.

So if you haven't found a book with a story similar to yours thus far that then made a change and saw a difference (Brenda's story echoed mine in that I never saw my hair grow any longer and I thought I was doing all things right), then I suggest you get that first and take a leaf or two or many out of it, and try not to jump on too many things at once. But understand what you're doing and why. Like people do protein then moisture. I once read pure protein can cause problems if not balanced with moisture properly and that a product with both is better. Cathy taught about using a product with both. That sealed the deal for me. And I have never found myself wondering whether my protein/moisture balance is out of whack. That also simplified my regimen...as I can do this once a week. Cathy recommended it in every wash...and AO GPB I found can be used weekly and it is such a product. So it's like LHCF has helped me fine tune my regimen rather than told me what regimen to use. Not saying LHCF doesn't know sh**, but there's too much info that it can overwhelm and confuse if you don't already have a foundation. I particularly liked Brenda's report because she didn't insist I buy a certain product or sell me any product...so I found it easy to trust it. And I'm so glad I did.

Sorry for the ramble (What's new eh? :sekret: ) but hope it helped you some. *tiptoes out...*
 

Melissa Daniel

New Member
Nonie Well I have establish a regi too. I found Hairlista last year and I was actually doing pretty well. I dont know what I am doing wrong. I have a protein condish but it is "balanced" by Bee Mine. I also have a moisture one that I use... I dont know. I have stopped using the protein one and just been doing moisture. I also have my moisturizer that is balanced as well. Maybe my hair is protein sensitive or something. I dont know but. I am sooo down. Well if she responds to my email I will get her book. More info cant hurt I guess. Thank you for your help! It is not ramble to me!
 
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