Naturals: Is being on LHCF making you want to relax?

[sunshinelady]

Alrighty, I was the OP, but I didn't give my response.

Yes, the board makes me want to relax/texlax and I didn't feel that way before joining. I think seeing such grand differences in length in short periods of time on relaxed heads is what is giving me the itch.

I share all of your feelings about being able to maintain natural/relaxed hair better due to your participation, but I am really starting to think that I might retain more hair after relaxing than I do now.

All the responses have been thoughtful and great.

 

[GoldenBreeze]

Hey ladies,

I'm noticing a lot of natural LHCFers thinking hard about texlaxing or relaxing. Do you think that is due to your participation on the board? If not, what is causing the itch?

No, I've been natural almost all of my life so being here doesn't give me the "itch".

 

[PittGirl06]

if anything it makes me want to STAY natural because of all the beautiful natural heads on here.

 

[jazzyblue]

I'm definitely more tempted to relax/texlax because of this forum! I initially went natural to improve the health of my hair and to learn about my natural texture, but now I am starting to think I can maintain healthy relaxed hair. I love my natural hair and wearing twists is my favorite style, but I get really bored with it, and I'm frustrated with the shrinkage. When I flat iron my hair or get it pressed, it reverts within a few days, and if I have a good work out or go dancing, less than a few hours! It's ironic because I used to be very adamant about being natural, and I encouraged my sisters/neices to go natural years ago, which they did. I just don't see the point in having long hair (as I prefer the way I look with long hair), if it's going to shrink back up to the same length. I think relaxing will give me the length I want with minimal heat, so it may be a better option for me. I don't have a stylist I can trust, (I've been doing my own natural hair for years), so I would prefer to self relax. I'm concerned about protecting my scalp, and how to process the back of my hair. I know many ladies on this board self relax with great results, but I haven't found an album with detailed instructions to address all of my concerns/that I feel confident using...so still contemplating.

 

[ladylibra]

definitely not. but, it does make me happy to see healthy relaxed heads of hair, and black women who are willing to share tips and info on hair care.

 

[silvergirl]

OT Silver that hair is getting long girl!

thanks! now if only i can get my curly hair do's to look like yours

 

[BillyJay]

thanks! now if only i can get my curly hair do's to look like yours

You are just growing and growing!!! Your curls are beautiful!
I'm a stalker....

 

[BrockStar]

It gave me the courage to go natural actually!! Looking at all of the beautiful Natural hair on here truly helped me during the process

 

[facets]

For a split second, but I got over it. My hair likes to be left alone for the most part. Also straightened hair doesn't really go with my personal style. It makes me feel like someone else. Besides, I can always straighten temporarily if I get the urge.

It has been cool to learn how to manage relaxers/blow outs/roller sets etc. in case a friend or family member is having hair issues.

 

[Tenejita10473]

I wasn't relaxed before LHCF and have no interest in relaxing ever again. No one and nothing can convince me to ever go back to that mess, lol!

These are my thoughts exactly. .

IMHO. I feel like too many BLACK women have been conditioned to find straight hair beautiful and find their own hair to be a problem or not beautiful. After slavery, skin lighteners and relaxers were sold and SELF-HATRED was prevelant in the Black community. On a societal level, we have been conditioned to buy into European beauty standards and not our own

For ME, My natural hair is a stand to say BALCK IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

To answer your question.....No.

ETA: And we all know relaxers damage your hair.

 

[Ms Red]

No. It would be a step backwards for me. I would like to reach my goals (APL, then BSL) as a natural! Plus I think I'll be having more fun when I get some more length!

 

[DeepBluSea]

I was transitioning when I joined LHCF. I had already made up my mind about going natural. It's funny because no one could have convinced me a year ago that I would have natural hair. If I had found this website then maybe I would have stuck with relaxing. Now, I really feel as though I have found what is best for me. I truly wish I had done it sooner. So, I chose no. The naturals on this site are an inspiration to keep going.

 

[SEMO]

I was relaxed when I first joined the board, and already had healthy relaxed hair. Being here and seeing all of the lovely natural ladies is what pushed me to want to be natural.

And though I admire a lot of the relaxed ladies, I don't desire to be relaxed anymore. If I really want a straight look (which has only been once since going natural) I can always flat iron my hair.

Even though the majority of the board may be relaxed I love LHCF b/c of the great atmosphere it has. There are other forums I've visited devoted only to natural hair but they weren't as friendly as it is here. So you ladies are stuck with me .

 

[PoisedNPolished]

No not relax but flat iron I guarantee you that after the two year mark I will be gliding something on my hair to achieve a straight look! I am really doing some research and it seems the key is to watch the heat and flat iron not hot comb if I want to keep my naps. So I confess... I will flat iron

 

[Jetblackhair]

I'm a natural newbie (last relaxer 08/05) and after seeing so many pictures of ladies with relaxed hair, I began to miss my relaxed hair. I wish I would have known about LHCF back then 'cause I know for sure my hair would have been healthier.

I decided to go natural because my hair line was getting thinner & thinner. But I must say I am now excited to see how long my natural hair can grow. I'm just becoming friends with my natural hair since I had a relaxer for most of my life. It's surreal because I never knew what MY HAIR was really like... but I'm diggin' it

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

Nope.
I’m enjoying my hair natural hair as it is, if I ever want to wear my hair straight I can always dust off my flat iron.

 

[Luvmylife]

Nah...it's not being on LHCF that makes me wanna relax...it's these two textures of hair on my head that's giving me the relaxer itch!

 

[msdeevee]

I love my natural hair . I'm not on here that much but being here has made me more determined and happy to stay natural . I had healthy relaxed hair but I'm enjoying and loving my natural hair much more.

 

[facets]

another reason for my no is that maintaining beautiful relaxed hair is such a balancing act for me.

I wasn't good at self-relaxing & G-d forbid the wrong person touches it up or something happens where I couldn't care for it properly.

I also don't have to worry if it move back to Europe etc. The black hair care is sketchy over there and you have to be so careful.


I think my naps are more hearty and resilient.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

This board made me relax. Well texturize. I was happily natural and never considered relaxing. But all the beautiful long hair made me want some too. I wanted length and an option to wear a straight style that lasted more than an hour. I missed it. All the Phyto hype at the time is what really pushed me over the edge. If I stopped using Phyto I would go back to natural though, I wouldnt use another relaxer.

 

[meaganita]

Can't say I haven't thought about it. But when I think about all the trouble I had with relaxers and how well my hair is doing natural, I'm not ready to give up on my natural hair.

 

[healthyhair2]

I have thought about relaxing again. When I joined I was relaxed, but I grew my relaxer out and cut off the ends. I've been natural almost 2 years and I'm thinking of relaxing again. Seeing all these heads of gorgeous relaxed hair makes me miss it! There are some beautiful natural heads on this board as well, I just don't like the way my hair looks natural. It seems like as my hair gets longer it also gets bigger--which I don't like. I miss the silkiness of my relaxed hair, but I would only relax it 50% maybe so I could still wear some curls. I guess I just like the way relaxed hair looks --it moves! I'm having a natural hair crisis right now, so YES!!! I'm contemplating......

 

[Soliel185]

I never understood why anyone with 3c or looser texture used a relaxer anyway. I was really surprised when I found out they did. I think somewhere in my mind I assumed that everyone that chemically straighted had hair like mine. I understand that each hair type has it's challenges but when you can stick a comb in your head and watch it stick straight up (me!) THEN you got problems! I just always thought their curls were so beautiful and wished that I had them b/c I'd wear it curly all the time. My hair texture was 4z, with some 4b, but using BT has loosened it to more of a 4a type, which I find adorable. So I havent relaxed in over 3 months, and may never do so again. DEFINITELY not to say that 4z hair isn't beautiful,( NOTHING makes an entrance like the B.A.A ) but it just seems sooooo much more frustrating. I couldn't handle it every day and that's why I relaxed originally.

LHCF has really helped me see that my there are other women out there with hair like mine and they can manage it and by sexy/fly so there's no reason why I can't too

 

[Evolving78]

I say that being on this board made me decide to go natural and I got tired of dealing with relaxers. I'm sorry but they are the devil! LOL!

I do feel though that naturals don't get enough encouragement to stay natural when they do get that itch. When someone starts talking about wanting to relax their hair because they are having a dificult time with it being natural, people on this board are very laid back in convincing that person to work through the problem that they might be having with their natural hair. I've read comments like, "oh it's just hair" and "you can always go back again". Being natural is more than just hair. A person has to go through a lot of changes of getting to know their natural texture and being comfortable with it. A lot of naturals get a lot of flack from people who feel that being natural is something ugly or bad if you don't have wavy/curly texture hair. If it was just hair, then why would all of us be on this website talking about hair and products, take hundreds of vitamins, and mixing concotions to make it grow? I don't even post in the hair board anymore because If feel that relaxed heads get more attention then natural and it is kinda weird someone with relaxed hair answering a question about natural hair unless they have been natural before and vice versa. When I was relaxed it was all good, but I'm on something different now and I bet a million dollars if I came on this site talking about wanting to relax again, I would get all of the support in the world instead of sistas trying to find out the real reason behind it and give me the best advice. I know this might kick something off but that is what I do occasionally! These are my feelings on it so don't hate me for it.

 

[healthyhair2]

Alrighty, I was the OP, but I didn't give my response.

Yes, the board makes me want to relax/texlax and I didn't feel that way before joining. I think seeing such grand differences in length in short periods of time on relaxed heads is what is giving me the itch.

I share all of your feelings about being able to maintain natural/relaxed hair better due to your participation, but I am really starting to think that I might retain more hair after relaxing than I do now.

All the responses have been thoughtful and great.

This is part of my frustration with my natural hair. I seems to grow sooooo slooow. My SO says it is REALLY long. I don't SEE it!!! When I was relaxed I could see the growth from touch up to touch up. No matter how much I condition now, I know that I'm losing more hair as a natural.

 

[CurleeDST]

I am one of those who believes hair is just hair. Been natural since 1994 and in between then and now have kept it super short, grown it out, colored it, relaxed it, cut it out and texturized and cut it right out. It is all good and nothing wrong with someone giving encouragement to someone who decides to relax after being natural. This site IS about support. I would not go into diving too deeply into the psyche of it all b/c hey, I am not an expert in the area b/c who am I and for many it IS just hair and a styling option so why knock it?

For those who do it for spiritual reason and so forth good for you. And if you find your faith wavering I would suggest going to those sites or support groups who are like-minded in making a spiritual or political statement with hair to get the support.

I support any woman with what she wants to do with her hair. It is her hair!

I do feel though that naturals don't get enough encouragement to stay natural when they do get that itch. When someone starts talking about wanting to relax their hair because they are having a dificult time with it being natural, people on this board are very laid back in convincing that person to work through the problem that they might be having with their natural hair. I've read comments like, "oh it's just hair" and "you can always go back again". Being natural is more than just hair. A person has to go through a lot of changes of getting to know their natural texture and being comfortable with it. A lot of naturals get a lot of flack from people who feel that being natural is something ugly or bad if you don't have wavy/curly texture hair. If it was just hair, then why would all of us be on this website talking about hair and products, take hundreds of vitamins, and mixing concotions to make it grow? I don't even post in the hair board anymore because If feel that relaxed heads get more attention then natural and it is kinda weird someone with relaxed hair answering a question about natural hair unless they have been natural before and vice versa. When I was relaxed it was all good, but I'm on something different now and I bet a million dollars if I came on this site talking about wanting to relax again, I would get all of the support in the world instead of sistas trying to find out the real reason behind it and give me the best advice. I know this might kick something off but that is what I do occasionally! These are my feelings on it so don't hate me for it.

 

[Evolving78]

I am one of those who believes hair is just hair. Been natural since 1994 and in between then and now have kept it super short, grown it out, colored it, relaxed it, cut it out and texturized and cut it right out. It is all good and nothing wrong with someone giving encouragement to someone who decides to relax after being natural. This site IS about support. I would not go into diving too deeply into the psyche of it all b/c hey, I am not an expert in the area b/c who am I and for many it IS just hair and a styling option so why knock it?

For those who do it for spiritual reason and so forth good for you. And if you find your faith wavering I would suggest going to those sites or support groups who are like-minded in making a spiritual or political statement with hair to get the support.

I support any woman with what she wants to do with her hair. It is her hair!

I'm not doing it for my spirit if that is what you are refering too. It is all about excepting what came out of your own head. The problems comes in where women complain that their hair is not managable and that it is ruff and unruly. Then they feel that in order to look and feel better they have to put chemicals in their hair. It's one thing if someone is all about just changing up, but isn't another when someone feels that their natural hair is bad and they have to do those things. How many people on this site would tell a relaxed hair to go natural if she started having problems with her hair? NONE. They would tell her to condition, take these pills, use these oils and all types of other things to fix her problem. Oh and I do go to those sites and I get a lot of insight more on natural hair and how to care for it. And like I said it before, IF IT WAS JUST HAIR, THEN WHY ARE WE ALL HERE?

 

[CurleeDST]

Please do not take my comments personally. Actually they were not even pointed at anyone in particular, just sharing my experience and perspective. I have no clue where you are with your natural hair so I am in no place to comment on that. I can comment on what I have experienced.

I have been on Black Voices (back in 1997) and other sites on AOL where natural hair was discussed in length and people gave encouragement on both sides. If people felt their hair was too thin with it being relaxed they were encouraged to lay off the relaxers and transition to natural hair where they will experience much thicker and lush hair. I have also seen where folks complained about their natural hair and received encouragement for relaxing it straight. I have seen both sides equally as it relates to these hair boards, websites and my real life. I am in corporate America as an executive with natural hair. I came in this way and have been approached by other professional black women who complain about balding, thin lifeless straightened hair who want to get reacquainted with their natural hair and they ask me how I did it and what products I use. I have converted so many black women to natural hair I can't even count including my maid of honor and many many sorors (including those who hold National positions).

So I think it is too blanket of a statement to claim a woman would NOT receive encouragement to go natural on here if they were complaining about managing their chemically-treated hair. I have seen both sides of the spectrum and it is all good.

It is JUST hair and many are here b/c they want to focus on acquiring healthy strategies and techniques to keep it on their head, gain length with and see different styling options. At least that is what I can say for myself. And to me it is just hair b/c I have a friend who was born WITHOUT hair. She was also born with no nails, eyebrows, etc. She was born bald and is that way to this day. She is a beautiful person with a beautiful daughter in spite of having no hair. That tells me it IS just hair b/c she is still achieved, smart, beautiful, intelligent and a lovely person.

We give hair and what people think about it way too much credit.

I'm not doing it for my spirit if that is what you are refering too. It is all about excepting what came out of your own head. The problems comes in where women complain that their hair is not managable and that it is ruff and unruly. Then they feel that in order to look and feel better they have to put chemicals in their hair. It's one thing if someone is all about just changing up, but isn't another when someone feels that their natural hair is bad and they have to do those things. How many people on this site would tell a relaxed hair to go natural if she started having problems with her hair? NONE. They would tell her to condition, take these pills, use these oils and all types of other things to fix her problem. Oh and I do go to those sites and I get a lot of insight more on natural hair and how to care for it. And like I said it before, IF IT WAS JUST HAIR, THEN WHY ARE WE ALL HERE?

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I'm not doing it for my spirit if that is what you are refering too. It is all about excepting what came out of your own head. The problems comes in where women complain that their hair is not managable and that it is ruff and unruly. Then they feel that in order to look and feel better they have to put chemicals in their hair. It's one thing if someone is all about just changing up, but isn't another when someone feels that their natural hair is bad and they have to do those things. How many people on this site would tell a relaxed hair to go natural if she started having problems with her hair? NONE. They would tell her to condition, take these pills, use these oils and all types of other things to fix her problem. Oh and I do go to those sites and I get a lot of insight more on natural hair and how to care for it. And like I said it before, IF IT WAS JUST HAIR, THEN WHY ARE WE ALL HERE?

I don't think that's necessarily true. Don't some encourage stretching relaxers? sometimes for up to a year, and isn't that just a form of transitioning that sometimes leads to going natural? So I do think when ladies complain about the faults of relaxing they are sometimes encouraged to break from relaxing even if only for a short time.

For myself, I would never encourage someone to go natural anymore then I would encourage someone to relax. I just think it's a personal decision. Who am I to judge what's right for somebody else? And really in each you can see both the benefits and the faults. I've seen great looking natural heads; I've seen horrible natural heads, and I've seen horrible relaxed heads and great relaxed heads; there's a case for both sides, and neither is better then the other. If you tell a woman all her hair troubles would be gone if she went natural, well point blank, you're lying. It might work for her; it might not. I try to share my experiences w/ natural hair, but not to be pushy or forceful about it. At the end of the day it really is just hair, and it might take some time, but it'll grow back. And I'm here for the same reason that Curleedst said to learn about it, and how to keep it on my head, but assuming I don't want a career as a hair model or other beauty based line of work; it really is for vanity purposes that we're all drawn here. To look good and more importantly feel good about ourselves whether natural or relaxed. IMO

 

[Poohbear]

I'm not doing it for my spirit if that is what you are refering too. It is all about excepting what came out of your own head. The problems comes in where women complain that their hair is not managable and that it is ruff and unruly. Then they feel that in order to look and feel better they have to put chemicals in their hair. It's one thing if someone is all about just changing up, but isn't another when someone feels that their natural hair is bad and they have to do those things. How many people on this site would tell a relaxed hair to go natural if she started having problems with her hair? NONE. They would tell her to condition, take these pills, use these oils and all types of other things to fix her problem. Oh and I do go to those sites and I get a lot of insight more on natural hair and how to care for it. And like I said it before, IF IT WAS JUST HAIR, THEN WHY ARE WE ALL HERE?

I have before...