New Here - Need Some Advice and Tips


New Member
I've been lurking here for a few months and learned so much. This is my first post because I'm having some issues with my daughter's hair. Some background- I am biracial with 3b hair. Growing up my mother had no clue how to deal with my curly hair so if it wasn't in a ponytail or pigtails, I looked a mess. It wasn't until I was 17 and experimenting with products on my own that I found out how to wear my curls. I always promised myself that if I had a daughter, I'd make sure she embraced her hair. Fast forward 15 years and I have a 2 year old daughter who I adore. She has 3c and some 4a curls and what works for me, does not work for her. So I've been trying product after product- Shea Moisture, Kinky Curly, Bee Mine, Curls, etc. Her hair just seems to be dry no matter what. I found the oil rinse thread by sareca and that made a difference in the softness / moisture but it seems like by the end of the day, her hair is always bone dry.

My biggest issue is this. Her hair seems to repel products. I shampoo 2x per week and cowash 2 to 3 times per week. After her bath, I immediately apply a leave-in conditioner. I've used Shea Moisture Hair Milk, Giovvani Direct, and lately Bee Mine Deja's Milk. No matter what kind of product I use, it seems to just sit on her hair and not soak in (especially in her crown, which is mostly 4a). I thought that a leave in was supposed to go into the hair to moisturize (because its water based) but most times it seems like its just sitting on her hair. Her hair is white from the product. After an hour or so the white starts to fade, so I guess it eventually sinks in. Can anyone explain this to me?

I would appreciate any kind of tips or advice because I really want to be sure that I'm caring for my daughter's hair properly so she won't grow up looking a mess like I did :)



Active Member
Shampooing 2X/week might be too often.
Idk if this would help, but perhaps you could use a clarifying shampoo once every couple of weeks?


New Member
I agree, 2x a week may be too much, you may want to cut it down to once a week and see how that goes. I have mostly 4a hair and tried most of the products you wrote about but without must success. I liked the Kinky Curly for definition, but it didn't give me enough moisture, Giovanni Leave in Direct is ok but not enough, and I felt the same way about Bee Mine.

But I've found Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Cream to be very moisturizing, and Blended Beauty Happy Nappy especially as a sealant. I also think Qhemet's Amla and Olive Heavy Cream is good but it's very rich and thick so a little goes a long way. You may also want to consider a refresher like Oyin Juices. But do you live up north? I think being indoors all day or even outside with this dry winter weather it's inevitable that the weather will affect your daughter's hair.

I'm also still looking for a good leave in. I've read great things about Oyin Hair Dew. Ok, I sound like I'm a spokesperson but they do have some great products. Good luck!


New Member
@nestlequik - Thank you for those recommendations. I will give them a try.

@200AndOne - Great thread! I had never heard of porosity issues before and no clue about hair pH. I am going to try the Porosity Control stuff and see if that helps.