NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! BAD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

azul11

Well-Known Member
I am so upset right now. Last night the person who was supposed to help me do my touchup said they wont do it. /images/graemlins/angry2.gif I was like omg you said you would help me now you are changing your mind. I was ready to go and get my materials reading up on everything I could on doing a relaxer at home and now this. /images/graemlins/swearing.gif

Here is why they said no: They said because my hair is long and they dont want to mess my hair up and that other people have done at home touchups and their hair came out in clumps and they had to cut it short and they know how much I am into hair and they dont want that to happen to me. I said well the people didnt do it properly and they said well they werent going to do it because they are not that good at doing other people's hair and my hair is growing and looking good and they will pay for it to be done by a stylist to be safe.

I said I have been going to stylist for years who have jacked my hair up. I have paid for my hair to look like crap!! The only reason my hair is thriving is because of me. No stylist could ever lay claim that they helped my hair grow because I have been taking care of it, I have been doing the research and doing what needs to be done for my hair. Every stylist has done whatever they want and I ended up having to pick up the pieces afterwards. /images/graemlins/whyme.gif

I am highly upset because I was counting on this person to help me with the back of my head. This isnt about application its about being able to see how the hair is being process and whether there is sufficent application. I am discovering I have a lot of different textures going on in my head and some areas are looser than others. I was feeling around in some areas and the texture of the newgrowth and the previous hair was similar and some areas had a slight wave to it while others were more tighter. So the advantage of having someone see the back of my head and the top and sides is so they can see how processed the hair is so I dont end up underprocessed. I have two left hands and while I can do a rollerset it is not neat and I do take longer than the stylist but it still comes out better than how they do it BUT I dont want to that with my own head for a touchup.

They told me about this salon on the east side of 125 that some of my relatives go to and that someone they know who's hair reminds them of my mine gets it done and her hair is thick and long. They offered to pay for me to go there and told me I could just take care of my hair at home myself.

I am just so frustrated because now I have to deal with another stylist who will do whatever. I cant even think of anyone else who could help me because most of the people who could are not in the city and the people who are either go to salons or the most they do to their hair is flat iron or blow dry. I was so upset I dont even know what to do.

Should I buy some of the affirm products to strengthen my hair before this. I'm really mad. I cant believe this /images/graemlins/spank.gif God bless you all.
 

naptrl

Dr. Naptrl :)
I know how you feel..But, if I were you, I'd be happy!! If the girl said she's not comfortable doing your hair, then be glad she was honest enough to just tell you and not burn it all out first!! With a mirror, you can relax your hair yourself, it's not that hard. But if you're not comfortable, just keep looking for a stylist who will do what you want them to! I beauty shop hopped when I was relaxed and it took me a little while to find the right person! It'll be okay!!
 

MissB

New Member
I agree. Atleast your friend was honest with you. Have you tried any of the stylists recommended on this site? A lot of people recommended Marcia. And I'm not sure if people still like Marvin Carrington... And I'm not sure if Diane Da Costa does relaxers but her book, Textured Tresses, was pretty good.

Good Luck,

MissB
 

Queenie

Well-Known Member
I feel for you. I have a good friend who does hair at a shop in the Bronx, but she lives in the city. She is very conscious about the health of the hair. If you want more info PM me.
 

azul11

Well-Known Member
Yeah thinking about it I realize that its a good thing that they were honest for me and understands that I do care a lot about my hair and they knew they didnt have the skills to do a good job and wanted to make sure my hair was in good hands.

As far as the last stylist which was Marcia, do not get me wrong she is wonderful, I just think it is a bit too much for my hair. My hair is thhhhhiiccccckkkk and almost 100% of the stylist's objective has been to get my hair as straight as possible. However this causes the hair to look thin which is not the desired look I am going for. Affirm regular I believe is too strong for my hair and then afterwards she flat ironed my hair after she blowdried it. Those were some reasons I wanted to do it on my own. Also she said I should come more often like every 6 weeks and said my hair was thicker when I first came to her. Honestly I do not think she is a bad stylist she is very nice and knowledgable about hair but for my hair I think I need something different. I am back at square one. This is very frustrating for me. God bless you all.
 

azul11

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Azul11 are you looking for a hair buddy?????

[/ QUOTE ]

Awww I would like one. I really am feeling upset like this will be a vicious cycle. Being on the site has made me more knowledgable about hair and I am wondering if my standards have become too high now. Before stylist would do whatever and I would come out looking like /images/graemlins/antlers.gif and just think my hair will never be as long as it used to be. Now that I have been taking care of it and it is thriving I am afraid to go to a stylist because I have been disappointed so much before. Maybe if I go see this stylist and see what she uses and whether or not she will address my concerns of not i'll be ok. /images/graemlins/cry3.gif God bless you all.
 

melodee

New Member
Azul, at least you're friend was aware of how much your hair means to you and didn't go through with it since s/he was uncomfortable. Sorry you're frustrated though.
 

Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
i hope u can find some1 u trust 2 help u w/ your hair...does your mother know how 2 relax hair???
 

Tracy

New Member
I feel your pain azul, but you seem to feel very strongly about wanting to self-relax. Given that, I'd just go for it. If you TU experiences are as hit and miss as you say, doing it yourself shouldn't be so much of a problem that it affects your hair any more negatively than going to stylist.

There's no point in going to a stylist if you're not going to feel in charge. You'll never be happy with your hair that way....
 

azul11

Well-Known Member
Well update... I have had about a week of no answers. I really do not know what to do. It is like the two little angels on my shoulders going over the pros and cons of doing it on my own.

PROS: I will be able to use the products I want and be in control of how my hair is being treated.

I will be gentler than any stylist.

I wont be at the mercy of a stylist who will talk me out of doing things I want to do making the statement of them being the stylist and knowing what they are doing.


CONS: Cant see the back of my head. I am sloppy at roller sets and have two left hands and take my time when doing them even though I feel like I am working fast; however this wont work when I am doing a touchup, although my rollersets come out good, slowness is not a virtue when I am doing a touchup.

Reading the descriptions is helpful but it is all very confusing and makes me nervous.

I have a lot of different textures going on and cannot see if I am processing these parts adequately. And having the mirrors behind my head will confuse me because of that mirror image deal and since it will be hard to see newgrowth and previous relaxed because even if I were looking in a direct mirror it isnt always easy to tell.


With all this long winded explantation out of the way I must admit I am nervous about doing it at home. I have had no lye done at home but lye is different and I would be lying if I said I wasnt scared of doing in the home.

My only solution now is that the person who offered to help then said no said they would pay to get my hair done at a salon. So far I have not heard from them about it but I am hoping I get a solution soon because I really do need a touchup. God bless you all.
 

deborah11

Well-Known Member
If you decide not to do it yourself, I would be happy to buy your affirm products (relaxer, shampoo,etc) from you as I have been trying to find them here in Maryland, all to no avail. good luck with your decision.
 

lonesomedove

Active Member
Deborah what part of MD are you in? I know of a Beauty Supply Store in Oxon Hill that sells the full line of Affirm including relaxers.
 
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