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Ok, why ask if you don't want to hear the answer?? (LONG)

misscrystal

Nappy and Happy
Ok, so I tend get ALOT of questions about my hair. Which puzzles me because my hair isn't long at all. I don't mind the questions, but I get so annoyed by girls who ask what I've been doing to my hair, but don't want to listen to me. They act like they have all the answers and I'm the one with a mess of broken hairs on my head instead of them!

I relaxed my hair this past friday night after being 16 weeks post. Saturday evening, I went to Walmart to pick up some things and saw a girl I'd had a few classes with, but never spoken to before. She saw me (with my hair loose for the first time in a long time. With 16 weeks worth of naps, I had been wearing my hair in a silk scarf ALOT) and started peppering me with questions about my hair.

What kind of products do you use?
How often do you get your hair done?
How do you get your hair to grow?

She also said she'd assumed I was bald-headed because I wore a scarf so much (???).

So when I started answering her (many) questions, she started looking at me crazy like I didn't know what I was talking about. Every piece of advice I gave her, she acted like I wasn't making sense.

What do you mean you wash you hair 3 times a week? Too much water dries out your hair.
You wash with just conditioner? You can't do that!
You use lye relaxers? I didn't even know they made those anymore! Doesn't it burn all your hair out?
You're not supposed to stretch your relaxers because it makes you hair break.
You use XYZ product? But that's for white folks. That's not for our hair.
Using conditioner too much will make your scalp greasy.

The thing that gets me, is WHY ASK IF YOU WON'T SHUT UP AND LISTEN?? She's sitting here acting like she's not the one with hair that's broken within an inch of its life!
The only advice she took at face value was that ORS Olive Oil Lotion is a good product. She only seemed willing to try it since the Wal-Mart in our area keeps it with the other "Ethnic" products. She wouldn't take my advice and get some S-Curl (Naw! I don't want my hair to be drippin' like I have a jheri curl!), but why did she proceed to pick up not one, but TWO bottles of PINK OIL. At that point, I didn't even say nothing because I knew she wouldn't listen anyway.


Other things that annoy me are girls who assume I'm "mixed" with something, and then when I tell them I'm actually Nigerian, they say something like, "Oh, well Africans have different hair from regular black folks' hair." (huh?) And then completely ignore my advice because "it won't work for them".

I was once giving a girl advice, and SHE at least seemed interested in what I had to say, but then some other girl who had "long" hair proceeded to butt into our convo and debunk everything I was saying. Now when I say she had "long" hair, it was longer than mine but was completely see-through. I'm talking, the bottom two layers of her hair were the only parts that stretched beyond her collar. I wanted so bad to tell her to cut that mess off, but I'm not that mean :lol:

Urgh. Sorry for the long rant, but I had to get that off my chest.
 

caligirl

Well-Known Member
"She also said she'd assumed I was bald-headed because I wore a scarf so much (???). "

Hahaha...this is what folks say to my mom because she has worn braids 24/7 for the past 10 years. People assume your bald.
 

Supergirl

With Love & Silk
misscrystal said:
It's a rude comment to make! I don't understand how people can be THAT tactless :nono:

It was probably more of an "oh she has beautiful hair, so let me say something to make her feel bad" type of statement.

And I can see your cause for this vent. Sometimes people look at us like we're crazy after we share our hair care tips with them. (that they've asked for)
 

meia

New Member
Supergirl said:
It was probably more of an "oh she has beautiful hair, so let me say something to make her feel bad" type of statement.

And I can see your cause for this vent. Sometimes people look at us like we're crazy after we share our hair care tips with them. (that they've asked for)

thats the just thing..when i think someone asks that many questions and seems to "snipe" more than looking genuinely interested im assuming that she was trying to mess with you, on purpose. I used to give advice out, now I simply dont or im very selective on who I give it to. Not being stuck up or conceited..but if you really wanted to know, you WOULDNT first INSULT ME and then say everything I was telling you was crap..

in my honest opinion, I know youre trying to be helpful but if they are gonna take snipes at you about your regime, products, or hair you definitely SHOULDNT be helping them out. let them figure it out themselves. everything that all of us on this board are mearely doing is taking care of hair- being more mindful of what we do to it.. if shes not READY to take that STEP then shes gonna have to rough it herself until shes tired of looking at see thru brittle ends and dry hair..

im definitely thinking you should keep everything as your secret unless they really will value you your information you know? I dont want you to think im trying to get you to hold back and be one of those girls that keeps it all to themselves..but some girls just want to get under your skin...if it works for you, screw helping them until they can come to you and LISTEN for once instead of trying to prove you wrong you know?

just my idea of the situation...lol i hope nobody takes this the wrong way...
 

kammie

Member
misscrystal said:
Other things that annoy me are girls who assume I'm "mixed" with something, and then when I tell them I'm actually Nigerian, they say something like, "Oh, well Africans have different hair from regular black folks' hair." (huh?) And then completely ignore my advice because "it won't work for them".

This has to be one of the funniest excuses I've ever heard. Completely ridiculous! :lol:
 

CurliDiva

Well-Known Member
Some will try to get into a hair DEBATE with you, when their heads are jacked up!

When they mention some "hair" foolishness, just remain silent. Your best testimony will be a head of beautiful, healthy hair. :cool:
 

Divine Inspiration

Well-Known Member
misscrystal said:
Ok, so I tend get ALOT of questions about my hair. Which puzzles me because my hair isn't long at all. I don't mind the questions, but I get so annoyed by girls who ask what I've been doing to my hair, but don't want to listen to me. They act like they have all the answers and I'm the one with a mess of broken hairs on my head instead of them!

I relaxed my hair this past friday night after being 16 weeks post. Saturday evening, I went to Walmart to pick up some things and saw a girl I'd had a few classes with, but never spoken to before. She saw me (with my hair loose for the first time in a long time. With 16 weeks worth of naps, I had been wearing my hair in a silk scarf ALOT) and started peppering me with questions about my hair.

What kind of products do you use?
How often do you get your hair done?
How do you get your hair to grow?

She also said she'd assumed I was bald-headed because I wore a scarf so much (???). So when I started answering her (many) questions, she started looking at me crazy like I didn't know what I was talking about. Every piece of advice I gave her, she acted like I wasn't making sense.

What do you mean you wash you hair 3 times a week? Too much water dries out your hair.
You wash with just conditioner? You can't do that!
You use lye relaxers? I didn't even know they made those anymore! Doesn't it burn all your hair out?
You're not supposed to stretch your relaxers because it makes you hair break.
You use XYZ product? But that's for white folks. That's not for our hair.
Using conditioner too much will make your scalp greasy.
The thing that gets me, is WHY ASK IF YOU WON'T SHUT UP AND LISTEN?? She's sitting here acting like she's not the one with hair that's broken within an inch of its life!
The only advice she took at face value was that ORS Olive Oil Lotion is a good product. She only seemed willing to try it since the Wal-Mart in our area keeps it with the other "Ethnic" products. She wouldn't take my advice and get some S-Curl (Naw! I don't want my hair to be drippin' like I have a jheri curl!), but why did she proceed to pick up not one, but TWO bottles of PINK OIL. At that point, I didn't even say nothing because I knew she wouldn't listen anyway.


Other things that annoy me are girls who assume I'm "mixed" with something, and then when I tell them I'm actually Nigerian, they say something like, "Oh, well Africans have different hair from regular black folks' hair." (huh?) And then completely ignore my advice because "it won't work for them".

I was once giving a girl advice, and SHE at least seemed interested in what I had to say, but then some other girl who had "long" hair proceeded to butt into our convo and debunk everything I was saying. Now when I say she had "long" hair, it was longer than mine but was completely see-through. I'm talking, the bottom two layers of her hair were the only parts that stretched beyond her collar. I wanted so bad to tell her to cut that mess off, but I'm not that mean :lol:

Urgh. Sorry for the long rant, but I had to get that off my chest.

Girl I feel you 100%!!!!!!!!! I get that bald headed b/c of the scarf business ALL the time...people always ask if I have cancer and stuff. And I don't even talk to people about my regimen anymore b/c I'm over people tryin to argue me down about grease & washing too much. It's always the most bald headed people who wanna argue too. It's just annoying so I politely decline offers to get into hair care conversations. One chick asked me if I used ELEPHANT FAT in my hair...I was like What the heezy?!

I'm mad she was pickin up that awful Pink Lotion...if she cut out that one product alone, she'd probably see a difference! :lol:

You're not alone with this rant girl...
 

Naijaqueen

New Member
I totally agree, but I always tell them well its obviously working for me, so whatever u say u go ahead and do. At the end of the day, they'll be the one eyeing your hair from a distance as u strut your stuff :D
 

misscrystal

Nappy and Happy
Lol @ Divine. They really ask you if you have CANCER??? :lachen: Actually, that's much worse than the bald-headed comments! People can be so dumb, I swear!
 

hopeful

Well-Known Member
meia said:
thats the just thing..when i think someone asks that many questions and seems to "snipe" more than looking genuinely interested im assuming that she was trying to mess with you, on purpose. I used to give advice out, now I simply dont or im very selective on who I give it to. Not being stuck up or conceited..but if you really wanted to know, you WOULDNT first INSULT ME and then say everything I was telling you was crap..

in my honest opinion, I know youre trying to be helpful but if they are gonna take snipes at you about your regime, products, or hair you definitely SHOULDNT be helping them out. let them figure it out themselves. everything that all of us on this board are mearely doing is taking care of hair- being more mindful of what we do to it.. if shes not READY to take that STEP then shes gonna have to rough it herself until shes tired of looking at see thru brittle ends and dry hair..

im definitely thinking you should keep everything as your secret unless they really will value you your information you know? I dont want you to think im trying to get you to hold back and be one of those girls that keeps it all to themselves..but some girls just want to get under your skin...if it works for you, screw helping them until they can come to you and LISTEN for once instead of trying to prove you wrong you know?

just my idea of the situation...lol i hope nobody takes this the wrong way...

Well said. I agree with everything meia said.
 

Desert Skye

Well-Known Member
Divine Inspiration said:
I get that bald headed b/c of the scarf business ALL the time...people always ask if I have cancer and stuff.

Are you serious? How can you go up to someone and ask something like that!
 

Candygirl

Candygirl
Seems to me some of the statements from her were laced and tainted with a litlle envy.By wearing your hair up she didn't see what your hair looked like. Then, your chance meeting in Walmart with your hair down took her for a loop!! I know it was rockin' and she knew it as well!! Jealousyrears its ugly head in many forms.
 
Last edited:
OT: Uh.... perhaps I should already know this since I'm a member of this board, but I'll ask anyway...

What's wrong with using the Pink lotion? I don't currently use it, but I've used it in the past without negative effects. :confused:
 

eboniwoman

lil bunny
This is by far one of the realist...lol posts I have read in a while. I Totally UNDERSTAND everything you are saying. It seems like no one out there wants to get any information about their own hair....doing the "usual" is all people know...
 

WesternEyes

New Member
I usually start off telling people that i wash my hair three or more times a week. They look at me like i'm crazy, and say "black people aren't suppose to do that." Then i say, 'well i do, everything is fine with my hair.' Then they start going on about our hair being dry and blah blah blah...If they can't accept that blacks can wash their hair more than once every two weeks, then i just stop. Then i let them finish with their own hair theories.
 

Porsche19

New Member
When I tell them that I wash my hair everyday they say "I don't have that type of hair." Even though I tell them it's texturized.

I have one of THE NAPPIEST bushes around! C'mon... I mean it won't even texturize if I don't leave the relaxer in for over 20 minutes. I've got some strong, coarse nappy hair. So what if it's got a little curl pattern? Most of which I get by texturizing in the first place.

Thank God that the hair questions have wound down!
 

Naijaqueen

New Member
brownhaired_bonanza said:
OT: Uh.... perhaps I should already know this since I'm a member of this board, but I'll ask anyway...

What's wrong with using the Pink lotion? I don't currently use it, but I've used it in the past without negative effects. :confused:

full of mineral oil so it dries ur hair up
 

Enchantmt

Progress...not perfection
Folx want quick fixes, they dont want to hear about WORK. They want to hear you used a particular product and it grew your hair 20 inches in two weeks, or a miracle vitamin that did the same. I tried to tell my niece she needed to stop usin the curling iron every day. "But I have to look cute." SMH... well we will see how cute you look when you are bald.
 
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