People from other races opinion about our hair

Brownie

Well-Known Member
I just read the other thread about the person who was in a class when the word "kinky" was described. As for me, I have noticed that some other people (of different races---not everyone, just some) have misconceptions or lack of knowledge about our hair.

Examples,
1). I was recently talking to a white lady and she started talking about hair. I always wear my hair pulled back and it looks wavy because the curls are flattened out and elongated. Anyway, she commented that she liked the way it looked (the waves/flat curls). She asked if I went somewhere and had the waves weaved in. I told her no. I told her that I just wash my hair, pull it back and it naturally looks that way. She looked like she didn't understand what I meant. I was basically saying that I don't do anything special. It is naturally that way. White folks have all types of hair textures; why would we be any different?

2). I have this white lady in my office, who always complains about her curly hair. She has large Shirley Temple curls that appear easy to comb. I honestly don't see where her complaints are coming from. Whenever she complains, I say, "As someone who also has curly hair, I know what it's like to work with curly hair." She always looks at me like, "What, you have curly hair?"----almost like I'm black, so I couldn't possibly have curly hair. Do people think black folks are born with relaxed or super matted, uncombable hair?

3). I was talking to a Hispanic lady one day, and she said her aunt bought Pantene relaxed and natural by mistake. She said she explained to her aunt that that product was for black people and black people have different hair. I know where she was coming from, but I've seen pictures of her family members and I have seen ladies on this board with that same texture. What is the big difference she was talking about? A number of Hispanics (and biracial people) have curls, waves, frizz, so do we. I would also like to add that she always complained of slow growth also. My hair was growing faster than hers.

Why do some people think there is such a big difference between what we do to our hair and what they do? I have heard of other races using relaxers (of course they don't call them that) and using flat irons/blow dryers and the such---I have seen white folks with hair kinkier than mine. I have seen white folks with Afros and puffs (natural). Where is the big division? why so many stereotypes? People of all races are unique.

Anybody have any stories? Has anyone said something that was just not true about your hair?
 

MizaniMami

New Member
Personally (not really the answer you are looking for) I think we (as in lhcf) put too much emphasis in what other races think of our hair. I think since we think it is a big deal that other races feel the same.

(This is not directed towards you) What I don't get is people who go talking hair talk with other races and then get offended by what the other race has to say. Did you really expect them to comment on our hair all the time?

IMHO white people really don't care about our hair like we think they do.
 

mommylioness

Well-Known Member
MizaniMami said:
Personally (not really the answer you are looking for) I think we (as in lhcf) put too much emphasis in what other races think of our hair. I think since we think it is a big deal that other races feel the same.

(This is not directed towards you) What I don't get is people who go talking hair talk with other races and then get offended by what the other race has to say. Did you really expect them to comment on our hair all the time?

IMHO white people really don't care about our hair like we think they do.


I have to say, I work with predominantly white males most of them in the age range of 45-55 and they always feel the need to comment on my hair. When I had dreadlocks, they always had questions about them and now that I have taken my hair down, they have even more questions and comments, especially when I wore it pressed for about a month and a half and then went back to my curly fro. You wouldn't think a bunch of old, Georgia rednecks would care about how I wear my hair, but for some reason they do.
 

Vshanell

FKA Pokahontas
Brownie said:
Actually, I could care less what people think about my hair; that's why I wear it how I want to (natural/wash and go). I like easy styles and that's what I go with; however, I have heard misconceptions, or people have asked questions that seemed somewhat absurd. For example, when I used to press and curl my hair, people would ask if I got a hair cut---just because my hair was curly and appeared shorter. I've heard people ask someone who got a weave if their hair grew (overnight---from neck to bra strap???)

Now, what you have said is that we must put more emphasis on our hair than people of other races actually do. IMO, that would be an over-generalization. Some people of other races do make it their business to comment on our hair. Does that bother me? Nope, but I thought it was a find-something-to-talk-about topic for the board. Nothing more---nothing less.

Now, to go a little further, I know there have been women here who have felt like they got different treatment at their jobs due to their hairstyles.
Some have felt like they were going to lose their jobs or not get jobs due to their hair type, style etc. Some women here have mentioned coworkers
(B & W and other) making off-the-wall comments about their hair. There is another thread about a member being in a class where the word "Kinky" was used and some people automatically thought about black people's hair and wrote about our hair in a negative light. All of the above show that some people do really care and have strong opinions about our hair. JMO.

I get this all the time!! Whenever I go from pressed straight to naturally curly it's like it confuses people. They always ask if I cut my hair because it shrinks up so much shorter when it's curly. I think that is the most ignorant question. I thought it was common sense that curls coil up and straight hair hangs straight. I mean duh! For example when you pull on a slinky dosen't it get longer? I thought most people could relate to that.:perplexed

When I wear my hair curly people always ask me how I got it that way and when I say I just washed it and put some product in it and it dried that way they just look at me with the strangest look (this comes from black and white people).
 

seeminglysweet

New Member
In general, I think white people are amazed with the range of styles that we can produce with our hair. I do think there is a difference in our hair and hair in other cultures, yes, we may practice some of the same styling techniques but I think there is definately a noticable difference in the hair.
I often get white people who tell me that their hair is as thick as mine...and from looks and touch I know there is no way that their hair is anywhere near as thick as mine (which in the black community really isn't THAT thick)
I think it is just a lack of knowledge and understanding. Understanding how to speak about hair, understanding that different hair takes different techniques to style and manage and an understanding that not all black women wear weaves and/or have relaxed hair.
 

Blaque*Angel

Well-Known Member
My sister and I were in the salon.

My sister was getting an inch cut off her hair.

One of her white friends met us at the salon and asked my sister why she cut her hair, My sister replied it needed a little trim.

Her response was I don't think it did! No offence but when black people try all there lives to grow their hair and they cut it, I really hate that! :huh: :perplexed

I was quite shocked, Speechless...I decided to stay out of the conversation, Because I knew my response wouldn't of been Too great!!

My sister said something on the lines of I have no problem cutting my hair, It will grow back ....It's only dead skin cells! :rolleyes:

Her friend made a comment about Kelis and her new cut....:ohwell: :perplexed
 

Brownie

Well-Known Member
seeminglysweet said:
I think it is just a lack of knowledge and understanding. Understanding how to speak about hair, understanding that different hair takes different techniques to style and manage and an understanding that not all black women wear weaves and/or have relaxed hair.

I think the part about the weaves and relaxed hair is definitely true. The white lady who asked about my waves is a die hard Oprah fan, and I know Oprah talks about what she considers to be the differences between white people and black people's hair. Anyway, it has been a generalization that black people run from rain and water. For me, that's not true. I like for my hair to get wet because for me, water=moisture. I don't mind walking in the rain because then I won't have to wet my hair as much at bedtime before conditioning it.
 

Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Brownie said:
For example, when I used to press and curl my hair, people would ask if I got a hair cut---just because my hair was curly and appeared shorter.
This happened to me last month at work. I wore my hair in a stretched out afro puff for like a week. The next week, I wore a shrunken wash n go puff. A white boy came by and asked me if I got a hair cut. I just said no, my hair shrinks when I wash it. I didn't feel offended by what he said. He just wanted to know.

In regards to this subject, I believe when it comes to racial differences about hair, it's all about knowledge. Knowledge is power, the more we know, the more understanding we'll have about hair and that hair is unique across races. Not all whites have the same hair and not all blacks have the same hair. Some people know that, some people do not know that. For example, before discovering the hair boards in 2004, I thought all black women had nappy/kinky hair and now I see that is simply not true. I also thought all black women got relaxers and I learned that to be false as well. So don't feel startled or too bothered by comments people of other races may say. What they currently believe and think comes from what people have told them or what they have been exposed to. The more exposure to different races with different hair types, the more they'll know that not all hair is the same within one race. ;)
 

Wildchild453

When I hit waist I stop
White folks have all types of hair textures; why would we be any different?

Well its not like they're exposed to alot og black people with diff. hair texture, how should they know. We all know instances of children getting relaxers when they are 5 or younger, then going their whole life the same way. How are they suppose to know any better when they see tons of black ppl walking around with straight hair?

Its only over the past couple years that other races have been able to see black natural hair, that wasn't blown out but kinky/coily/wavy/etc.
 

InJesusName

New Member
I do think that some of the comments from other races are simply ignorance (I had a white roomate in college that complained to our resident director about my hygiene because I only washed my hair once a week. This was befor LHCF and talk about shedding!!), and at other times I think it is curiosity. Face it, our hair is different. I wish I could wash n go or have silky stright/ fast growing hair like my counterparts of other races, but I can't.

Sometimes it's not worth it to even get into this conversation with folks.

OT: I WISH my industry would tolerate the "more natural" hairstyles, but I'm in pharma sales. Must look like a Barbie doll at all times!!
 

JustKiya

Well-Known Member
:lol:

Not too long ago, there was another thread called something along the lines of 'Do you explain you hair to Whyte Folx' (using the OP's spelling) and 90% of the responses in the 5 page thread were along the lines of 'No, I don't explain nothing to them - always being all nosey and up in minorities bidness!'

Because it seems like most (not all, but most!) black people don't bother to educate people of other races about our hair (which really, is one of the most - varied hairtypes EVER), is there really ANY suprise that they come up with some of the craziest, OBVIOUSLY ignorant questions?

All they know about our hair is what they see in movies/tv or glance at the cover of a 'black beauty' magazine and read. When they encounter someone they 'know' personally, and see the varied things we do with our hair on a weekly/monthly basis - of COURSE they're curious - who wouldn't be??

I think that sadly enough, it's common 'knowledge' that a) black people can't grow hair long b) natural black hair is a uncombable, usually ugly mess and c) a lot of black women wear weaves/wigs/false hair.

And they get those ideas, sadly enough, from US, most of the time. *shakes head* Remember the whole bru-haha about the book NappyHeaded Girl, or whatever that book was called about the little black girl with the exceptionally kinky hair, when the white elementary school teacher read it to her class? What sort of message did THAT send about how WE feel about our hair?

I don't really think people of other races CARE about how we choose to wear our hair - they are just - curious when one of us steps outside of the weave/perm/extentsions mindset and do really DIFFERENT stuff to our hair.
 

Princess Pie

New Member
nappywomyn said:
And they get those ideas, sadly enough, from US, most of the time. *shakes head* Remember the whole bru-haha about the book NappyHeaded Girl, or whatever that book was called about the little black girl with the exceptionally kinky hair, when the white elementary school teacher read it to her class? What sort of message did THAT send about how WE feel about our hair?
I agree.

In addition, many Blacks will respond as if they can speak for all of us, when asked about their hair. I've heard Black women telling people of other races that we wash our hair every 2-3 weeks and sometimes longer. I've also heard Black women say that our hair will be like an afro if we don't relax.:nono:

When I do answer questions about my hair, I make sure to emphasize that what I'm saying is specific to me. I will go as far as to say, "Not all Black people are the same; everyone is different..."

People, both Black and White, need to know that not all Black people are just alike. We come in different shapes, colors, and from different backgrounds, even though we do share similarities. We don't all have the same hair. Sadly, many Black women don't even understand this.

A lot of white people are getting their misconceptions about Black hair from Black people. They want to lump us together, and we let them do it.
 

HermioneWeasley

New Member
Brownie said:
Actually, I could care less what people think about my hair; that's why I wear it how I want to (natural/wash and go). I like easy styles and that's what I go with; however, <b>I have heard misconceptions, or people have asked questions that seemed somewhat absurd.</b> For example, when I used to press and curl my hair, people would ask if I got a hair cut---just because my hair was curly and appeared shorter. I've heard people ask someone who got a weave if their hair grew (overnight---from neck to bra strap???)

White people shouldn't be expected to have any sort of knowledge about black hair, so I don't see how you could call their questions absurd. Maybe the weave thing is a little out there, though.

If a white or Hispanic person asks me a question about my hair, I answer it if I feel like it, but I have never felt offended. I don't know a thing about their hair so why should I expect them to ask "intelligent" questions about mine? One of the coolest conversations I've had about hair was with a Japanese woman in my office. I learned things about Japanese hair and she learned things about black hair and we were both better for the encounter. Personally, I'd rather have people asking "dumb" questions than making continual misinformed assumptions. :ohwell:
 

Brownie

Well-Known Member
When I do answer questions about my hair, I make sure to emphasize that what I'm saying is specific to me. I will go as far as to say, "Not all Black people are the same; everyone is different..."

GOOD IDEA.

People, both Black and White, need to know that not all Black people are just alike. We come in different shapes, colors, and from different backgrounds, even though we do share similarities. We don't all have the same hair. Sadly, many Black women don't even understand this.

I AGREE! THIS WAS MY POINT EXACTLY. EVEN THOUGH FOLKS MIGHT NOT HAVE EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT PEOPLE OF COLOR, EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE UNIQUE----PERIOD. NOT ALL NONBLACK PEOPLE HAVE STRAIGHT, FLOWING, FAST GROWING HAIR, AND NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE HAVE SLOW GROWING, WEAVED, RELAXED, BRAIDED, JACKED UP, ETC....HAIR.


A lot of white people are getting their misconceptions about Black hair from Black people. They want to lump us together, and we let them do it.[/QUOTE]

HOLLYWOOD AND THE MOVIES/SITCOMS DON'T HELP EITHER. THEY CONTINUE SPREADING THE GENERALIZATIONS. AND LIKE YOU SAID, SOME PEOPLE OF COLOR CONTINUE SPREADING THE MYTHS ALSO BECAUSE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY KNOW, AND THEY ASSUME THAT THEIR TRUTH IS TRUE FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING DIFFERENT WITH THEIR HAIR BESIDES WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT, AND THEY SEE PEOPLE AROUND THEM (THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS) WITH THE SAME TYPE OF HAIRSTYLES AND HAIR HABITS.
 

goldensensation

New Member
I'm sharing an apt for law school and my roommate is chinese (like straight from china 1 month ago). Yesterday we started talking about hair and she said that she wished her hair was as thick as mine so that she could... are you ladies ready for this... "wear CHINESE CHOPSTICKS" in her hair. lol. That was the funniest thing to me.

I tried to put them in her hair and they kept falling out. Her hair feels more weighty than mine, but mine is still fluffier and thicker. I have tons of new growth AND I'm underprocessed/texlaxed and she was just in love with my hair. She kept talking about how I looked like a pretty doll with my hair all curling on my edges and ends. :lol:

My sweetie of 3 years loves my hair (he is white). I always tell him that it doesnt feel "thick enough" and he's like "are you crazy, it's thick as hell".
 

DragonPearl

Well-Known Member
Wildchild453 said:
Well its not like they're exposed to alot og black people with diff. hair texture, how should they know. We all know instances of children getting relaxers when they are 5 or younger, then going their whole life the same way. How are they suppose to know any better when they see tons of black ppl walking around with straight hair?

Its only over the past couple years that other races have been able to see black natural hair, that wasn't blown out but kinky/coily/wavy/etc.
Co-signing. :)
 

DragonPearl

Well-Known Member
nappywomyn said:
:lol:

Not too long ago, there was another thread called something along the lines of 'Do you explain you hair to Whyte Folx' (using the OP's spelling) and 90% of the responses in the 5 page thread were along the lines of 'No, I don't explain nothing to them - always being all nosey and up in minorities bidness!'

Because it seems like most (not all, but most!) black people don't bother to educate people of other races about our hair (which really, is one of the most - varied hairtypes EVER), is there really ANY suprise that they come up with some of the craziest, OBVIOUSLY ignorant questions?

All they know about our hair is what they see in movies/tv or glance at the cover of a 'black beauty' magazine and read. When they encounter someone they 'know' personally, and see the varied things we do with our hair on a weekly/monthly basis - of COURSE they're curious - who wouldn't be??

I think that sadly enough, it's common 'knowledge' that a) black people can't grow hair long b) natural black hair is a uncombable, usually ugly mess and c) a lot of black women wear weaves/wigs/false hair.
CO-signing that one too. Hehe. :)
 
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