Please help me with my dd's 4b/4c hair

[KaramelDiva1978]

I posted this in the Children's hair care section, but in case some don't look there today, I need your help. Kinda long, I apologize, but I'm desperate for hair help. Any experience you know of with 4b/4c type hair, personal or otherwise, I am open.


My dd and I began transitioning together mid-January because I noticed her thinned out hair and breakage from relaxers and decided-that was it—time to regroup and make changes. We are five months into this transition and boy oh boy is it a challenge! The hair at the back/nape is much more coarse and resistant and I have to frequently break it down, section by section to detangle. Furthermore, I noticed while combing her hair that she has two small places where the hair has broken at the demarcation line.

Now, I am moisturizing to the hilt—co-washes once a week and deep conditioning. Last night since I saw the breakage, I did an Aphogee reconstructor treatment, thinking okay, add protein. Daily styling with S-curl for moisture, Cantu Shea Butter moisturizer (which her hair really likes) and sealing with olive oil or coconut oil (her hair does better with the olive oil). I did that last night and sealed with jojoba oil, sectioned in three plaits to allow it to air dry and style this morning. It was about 90% dry and no sign of moisture. So I repeated the process, eliminating the oiled, styled the three plaits and sent her to my mother’s. I did just enough for me to attempt to cornrow this evening (I’m getting better).

However, I am very excited about the new growth and thickness and no broken pieces at the front. But I am also becoming frustrated with the process of daily styling, finding a balance between conditioning and protein, and combating the moisture problem without weighing the hair down in product. I am going to the hair store at lunch and will look for the Aussie Moist, but idk if I should use it as a co-wash or leave-in agent? I need some more Jane Carter’s N & S, she did fine with that and something else, but now I don’t remember what else I used.

Also, if I want to cornrow it, should I be used a locking gel or some type of “stay product” to keep the frizzies away? For low manipulation styles can we do cornrows and braid outs? I’m so lost, but I WANT TO KEEP HER NATURAL, so I will try anything helpful.

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[Aviah]

Hey,
My advice would be to keep the manipulation down while she transitions. In theory her hair type is the most fragile and has the most drastic change at the demarcation line (if she was relaxed straight). Moisture is definitely needed, sometimes that doesn't always mean oiling. for me personally, when I use heavy oils, my hair can still dry out- albeit more slowly than if I hadn't used any it would get greasy and dry (still feel crispy). Therefore I would spray some water on it to up the actual moisture (water content) in the hair, making it more pliable. Yes oils seal, but at least for me they are not water-tight.

You could use Fantasia IC clear gel for the frizzies at the hairline (tames mine very well).
Its only for a time (transitioning) please stay encouraged.

 

[MsLizziA]

My advice, because i have a 7 year old sister whose hair i do, is to get her hair put into braided extensions. It can be extensions like these.

My sister's mom gets her hair braided up every chance she gets because she really doesn't like dealing with it. Even though my sister's hair is fully natural, when she transitioned, she wore braids like this the whole time.
When its not braided, i twist it but these little braids are perfect for a transitioning child.

You can take care of her hair in and out of them.

ETA: Since its summer, if you do decide to put her hair in braids, you can spray it with glycerin and water to keep it moisturized. Oh yea and my sister's hair is a 4b

 

[knt1229]

For my transitioning hair, I kept my hair strong by doing moisture dc's every week, protein dc's every other week, co-washing once a week, oil pre-poos for softness, moisturizing and sealing, and low manipulation kept my hair healthy and I had no breakage.

Also, the Cantu Shea Butter caused build up in my hair. I needed a clarifier to get rid of it and my hair wouldn't respond to other products until I got rid of the build up. So you may want to make sure your daughter doesn't have build up on her hair which can block moisture from getting in.

Third thing, S-curl works best on dry hair. When I apply it to my wet hair my hair is dry once the hair dries. But if I apply it to dry hair I have moist hair for days as long as I use a low manipulation hairstyle.

I am almost 1.5 years post relaxer and I have had no breakage. I am a 4b.

 

[MsLizziA]

bumping for her

 

[Nonie]

My advice would be to keep it simple. I've got 4B hair and I swear I don't do all the things people do and I would have to chop all my hair off, if that's what it took to get my hair to feel right. I think sometimes we are our worst enemies.

Proper moisturizing doesn't mean applying everything in sight, over everything else you happen to have handy. I honestly feel that if you found a moisturizing shampoo (I recommend Trader Joe's Nourish Spa or Tea Tree Tingle (I forget the name) or anything in the Giovanni line, but go for the words "for dry hair" as a clue on what to get. Then a moisturizing conditioner (AO HSR or White Camelia, Aussie Moist, Trader Joe's Nourish Spa, Neutrogena, Organix...the list is endless. Just find the one you find MOST moisturizing) and use that after shampoo. Wash hair in braids (let me know if you need a method of doing that and I'll share mine) and then end after rinsing out condish, do a final rinse with ACV and essential oils (let me know if you need a ratio coz too much ACV will damage hair). And then let the hair dry in braids. You can undo, spray with S Curl spray (white/blue bottle) and then rebraid. When hair is fully dry, apply again and put hair in plaits to stretch overnight in plaits again and baggy. (Saran wrap stays on better than a cap.)

In the morning you will have hair that looks and feels like this did:

OK, you can't feel it but I assure you, it is as soft as it looks. Combing it is so easy because hair was kept detangled and held in that detangled state while she slept.

Now you can cornrow it. My advice, because 4B hair shrinks when wet, is to part the hair into 4 quarters sort of in the way you plan to braid and then plait them, and undo one quarter at a time and work on it, so that the rest of the hair not only stays out of the way but also stays detangled and stretched till you get to it.

I don't think you need extensions, unless your daughter really likes swinging hair. Personally I would cornrows so the rows meet at the crown and add extensions to the tails of the braids so that they appear long...and so I'd not stress the rest of her head with extensions. Many people don't know how to add them w/o stressing the hair so I'd skip them. Pony puffs could be pinned in for a change of style. Ribbons and bows and cute accessories could add variety from day to day so the style doesn't get boring. Maybe braid some forward so she has a fringe that she can wear as a braid out for a change and then you get to redo later. Or that can be twisted so she looks like me, and I can claim her as mine.

Every night, wrap her head with Saran wrap. This will help retain the moisture, encourage her own moisturizing system, and it will also flatten down any fly-aways so that the hair looks neat. If the cornrows start to look messy (peppercorns, beady beads), especially along the edges, brush them gently back in the direction of the cornrows--the way they were supposed to be--and then baggy with the wrap. You'll be surprised how neat they'll look in the morning. Even just brushing just before she goes out, will give the style a fresh appearance.

Otherwise, I personally think halos are so cute. Don't be too bothered if you see fuzz, unless it's made the cornrows look non-existent. But I assure you, tying her head down nightly will save you ever having to worry about moisture.

Now protein. I honestly believe you can get away with just using AO GPB. In fact, if you didn't want to get any other conditioner, I believe in my heart of hearts, you could get away with just this. I used this alone after reading Cathy Howse's book for a long time w/o any problems. Just remember if you use it as a conditioner, apply to wet hair after shampooing. If you use it as a DC, apply to dry hair, leave on for 15 minutes. Then comb through, put hair in braids and then rinse, shampoo...and follow with a conditioner. I think you could even then just use it as the conditioner.

IMO, using S Curl with 109843983927 other products totally cancels out its wonderful effects. Also people give up on its moisturizing property when they apply it to wet hair and then it dries hard. But that's just its MO. Apply again when hair is dry, plait and baggy and you will be pleasantly surprised in the morning. Also do not overdo. You do not need to reapply in the AM.

Sorry that was wordy but what's new eh?

 

[NIN4eva]

Nonie You always bring the REAL good advice.

 

[KaramelDiva1978]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot say it enough. You all have really given me a good foundation to go forward and progress from here with baby girl having healthy, undamaged hair.

Okay, Nonie-- I never thought about shampooing in braids, great idea, I will incorporate next co-wash and at night, if she's not in cornrows. I bought the beads, so I will cornrow tonight since it's likely completely dry. I am going to Whole Foods, so I will get the AO GPB today. And yes, your hair looks cottony soft, I will love for my baby's hair to soft and moisturized like yours. Okay, I will do the nightly treatments, but since I've bc'ed it keeps my hair moisturized. I just didn't think to baggy my daughter's b/c she has longer relaxed ends. I will try a conditioner cap and then a satin cap on top. Do you think that will work? Is Aussie Moist & Trader Joe's found at Whole Foods too? Thank you so much for your comments!

Ms Lizzia- I plan to have dd's hair put in kinky twists just like your sister's, I just want to wait a few more weeks closer to school. I think that style will be perfect for moisturizing and stopping the breakage. Thank you so much for your sister's pics and "bumping" for replies!

Knt1229- You are SO RIGHT about the product build-up. I felt it on her hair when I shampooed and now that I think about it, I should have probably used a clarifying shampoo as opposed to KCCC Come Clean. I will do it next week with her co-wash. I am also implementing your schedule of bi-weekly protein treatments, but I really need to balance the moisture intake. Your hair is beautiful! You too said, S-curl on dry hair. I am literally over here taking notes.

Aviah- I really appreciate your kind encouragement! I plan to hang in there and per your suggestions and other moisturizing agents, I am "chunking" the oils for now.

I cannot say thank you enough ladies, you have helped me immensely.

 

[knt1229]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot say it enough. You all have really given me a good foundation to go forward and progress from here with baby girl having healthy, undamaged hair.

Okay, Nonie-- I never thought about shampooing in braids, great idea, I will incorporate next co-wash and at night, if she's not in cornrows. I bought the beads, so I will cornrow tonight since it's likely completely dry. I am going to Whole Foods, so I will get the AO GPB today. And yes, your hair looks cottony soft, I will love for my baby's hair to soft and moisturized like yours. Okay, I will do the nightly treatments, but since I've bc'ed it keeps my hair moisturized. I just didn't think to baggy my daughter's b/c she has longer relaxed ends. I will try a conditioner cap and then a satin cap on top. Do you think that will work? Is Aussie Moist & Trader Joe's found at Whole Foods too? Thank you so much for your comments!

Ms Lizzia- I plan to have dd's hair put in kinky twists just like your sister's, I just want to wait a few more weeks closer to school. I think that style will be perfect for moisturizing and stopping the breakage. Thank you so much for your sister's pics and "bumping" for replies!

Knt1229- You are SO RIGHT about the product build-up. I felt it on her hair when I shampooed and now that I think about it, I should have probably used a clarifying shampoo as opposed to KCCC Come Clean. I will do it next week with her co-wash. I am also implementing your schedule of bi-weekly protein treatments, but I really need to balance the moisture intake. Your hair is beautiful! You too said, S-curl on dry hair. I am literally over here taking notes.

Aviah- I really appreciate your kind encouragement! I plan to hang in there and per your suggestions and other moisturizing agents, I am "chunking" the oils for now.

I cannot say thank you enough ladies, you have helped me immensely.

Glad I could help.

FYI...when you do a protein dc you should follow it with a moisturizing dc or condish to get the hair back in balance. Protein strengthens hair especially at the demarcation line and helps minimize or stop breakage when transitioning.

Thanks for the compliment.

 

[Nonie]

I don't know much about caring for relaxed hair, OP but I can bet my bottom dollar it will work too. Especially if her hair is braided...or like if you wanted to wear it in a braid out. I'd imagine if you took the cap off before she had breakfast so the relaxed part dries a bit, then you could get a cute braid out...so that the moisture of the cap wouldn't ruin the style. I'm pretty sure there are full-head baggiers in the relaxed camp so hopefully someone can shed more light.

I get Aussie Mist in CVS, grocery stores...and Trader Joe's is only at Trader Joe's. But Whole Foods has other great choices. AO Honey Suckle Rose or White Camelia are good. I am guessing Giovanni, J/A/S/O/N and other natural moisturizing winners can be there. I was just tossing names I of products I have used, but you don't need to get all or just those.

 

[morehairplease]

op/ladies thanks so, so much for this thread! I am currently transitioning and finding that my hair is becoming a battle at times. Hopefully, I will be able to get synthetic braid extensions next week to alleviate the manipulation I am having to do to my tresses while detangling/washing. Nonie do you mind sharing your acv/essential oil mixture?

tia,
tishee

 

[Nonie]

op/ladies thanks so, so much for this thread! I am currently transitioning and finding that my hair is becoming a battle at times. Hopefully, I will be able to get synthetic braid extensions next week to alleviate the manipulation I am having to do to my tresses while detangling/washing. Nonie do you mind sharing your acv/essential oil mixture?

tia,
tishee

1/4 cup ACV, 2 gallons of water, 20 drops of EO of lavender, 20 drops of EO of rosemary all in a basin. Then I dunk my head in the mixture and massage my scalp to my heart's content letting my hair soak up in that wonderful goodness. When in a hurry, I mix half those ingredients in a gallon container and pour it over my head as a final rinse.

 

[MsLizziA]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot say it enough. You all have really given me a good foundation to go forward and progress from here with baby girl having healthy, undamaged hair.

Okay, Nonie-- I never thought about shampooing in braids, great idea, I will incorporate next co-wash and at night, if she's not in cornrows. I bought the beads, so I will cornrow tonight since it's likely completely dry. I am going to Whole Foods, so I will get the AO GPB today. And yes, your hair looks cottony soft, I will love for my baby's hair to soft and moisturized like yours. Okay, I will do the nightly treatments, but since I've bc'ed it keeps my hair moisturized. I just didn't think to baggy my daughter's b/c she has longer relaxed ends. I will try a conditioner cap and then a satin cap on top. Do you think that will work? Is Aussie Moist & Trader Joe's found at Whole Foods too? Thank you so much for your comments!

Ms Lizzia- I plan to have dd's hair put in kinky twists just like your sister's, I just want to wait a few more weeks closer to school. I think that style will be perfect for moisturizing and stopping the breakage. Thank you so much for your sister's pics and "bumping" for replies!

Knt1229- You are SO RIGHT about the product build-up. I felt it on her hair when I shampooed and now that I think about it, I should have probably used a clarifying shampoo as opposed to KCCC Come Clean. I will do it next week with her co-wash. I am also implementing your schedule of bi-weekly protein treatments, but I really need to balance the moisture intake. Your hair is beautiful! You too said, S-curl on dry hair. I am literally over here taking notes.

Aviah- I really appreciate your kind encouragement! I plan to hang in there and per your suggestions and other moisturizing agents, I am "chunking" the oils for now.

I cannot say thank you enough ladies, you have helped me immensely.

No problem. Glad to be of help

 

[Bun Mistress]

I think everyone one here has said it all. But I did want to add. If her her is till dry after the changes above, please consider a clarifying shampoo. I clarify once a month first using the Giovanni TTT then I follow that up with a Moisture shampoo. Dry hair that dosn't on to moisture can be product bluid up!

 

[Honi]

I just have to add bentonite clay to what Nonie said. God's gift! I'm telling you! This and a good condish like AO for dry hair and you will be pleased!