Proverbs 31 Woman duties/role as a Christian wife?

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by stephluv, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    I always hear about the Proverbs 31 woman! In the church we know what we need to do to be a good Christian but what about being a good Christian wife? How much do we submit?:look: Can we even prepare ourselves now to be a good Christian wife? How about keeping ourselves attractive is it wrong to want to look nice and start learning to cook so you can feed your husband when you do meet him lol? How do YOU keep a happy husband...please do tell for all us future help meets out here!


    I think I need to do more then just pray for my future husband...i need more ways to keep myself busy while I wait....we have pages and pages in the single Christian thread but maybe we need more married ladies input...its hard being positive sometimes to each other when we all want the same thing:lol:

    @momi - is this what you wanted...i tend to vent in this forum

    i just tagged a bunch of ppl:look: please feel free to ask questions while these beautiful wives are still willing to answer them :lachen:
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2013
  2. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Yes Stephluv! I look forward to hearing everyone's responses.

    This subject is near to my heart so I will chime in later as to not get all carried away. :lachen:
     
  3. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    thanks...patiently waiting
     
  4. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    :meme: I love "Marriage" threads... :love4:

    Okay to answer all of your questions ... the answers are all YES!

    It's definitely okay to learn to cook, stay beautiful :gorgeous:, learn how to manage a budget :look: and to save money. All of those things you mentioned are wonderful to learn while you are PREPARING for your husband.

    Learn how to prepare delicious vegetarian meals. As a woman of God married to a Man of God, you will both be sharing fasting and prayers for many reasons; especially Daniel Fasts. It will be wonderful to have experience with vegetarian meals. Your husband will rise up and call you .... 'Thank ya' Baby' :woohoo2: for that wonderful meal.

    But also for healthy reasons to keep him healthy. :yep:

    Take care of your skin......now. And if you already have a skin regime going, step it up 3 notches. You want to be ready... not anxious when your husband 'arrives' into your life.

    Esther was pampered and oiled for 12 months before she was presented to her King... her husband. She glowed... with the love of God from within and from her skin without.

    Take care of your health. Read and learn about men's health issues and ways of prevention. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you in what resources and specifics for you to focus upon.

    Get your 'house' (home) in order. Get rid of all of the clutter. Make a diagram of your home and designate where everything you own should be placed and kept where you can find it.

    Keep your cell phone charged. Make this practice and select a station area where you will charge your phone each day or night.

    Okay, so what does the cell phone have to do with Marriage preparation?

    Plenty! :yep:

    You are training yourself to be consistent with the important things, no matter how 'little' they may seem to others, it's important to you. When your future husband sees that you have a pattern of consistency, he'll feel that he can rely upon you to keep him consistent as well.

    Practice picking up socks.

    Say what, Shimmie?

    Yes... practice picking up socks. Get the attitude in check. Socks are the first thing that men take off and will leave ANYWHERE they happen to remove them. Be it the kitchen floor, living room sofa, the bedroom / bathroom floor. It's what they do. And this is what you will do... :whyme: :lol:

    You may as well practice how you're going to sleep. Do you wrap your hair or not wrap your hair? Do you dare sleep with your hair unprotected? Or do you protect your hair and risk giving him a scare... :eek2:

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    stephluv... I can promise you that the Proverbs 31 Woman did not have a perfect husband... but she loved him and she decided years ago how to pick up his socks from the cave made floor.

    God love her and God indeed does love you. :yep:
     
  5. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Well Sis Shimmie has taken all of mine! LOL

    I will add to one of her beautiful suggestions:

    Get your 'house' (home) in order. Get rid of all of the clutter. Make a diagram of your home and designate where everything you own should be placed and kept where you can find it.

    The P31 woman sees well to the ways of her household. She should strive to ensure that the practical things that her husband needs are always on hand. For example - its not prudent to be running to Family Dollar every week purchasing a 4 pack of tissue. Go ahead and invest in the things that your family will need like tissue, soap, detergent (toiletries) in large quantities. Not only is it fiscally sound, but your husband will appreciate knowing that he will have the practical things he needs - organized and neatly put away.
     
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  6. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Thanks momi... Amen. You applied scripture perfectly to this. :yep:

    And you are right, it is prudent for wives to have the essentials always in plentiful supply. "

    Papa Bear" must never run out of Charmin Tissue... :nono2:

    [​IMG]

    and Ladies....Papa Bear even says, "Mama Bear" is the 'Boss" :yep:

    He really said it... yep...:yep: I know the 'bubble' below is empty, but he said it :yep: Papa Bear says that Mama Bear is in charge. :lol:

    [​IMG]

    “Like most guys, I like pretending that I’m the big bear of the house. But I know Molly is the bear in charge. We’re an awesome team, and we love to play games, watch movies, or grill out with our pack. We find time for family getaways, too. My road trip must-have? Charmin MegaRoll.”


    :lol::lol::lol: Here's the link. Click on Papa Bear's name and you'll see his admission that Mama is in charge. :yep:

    http://www.charmin.com/meet-the-bears.aspx
     
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  7. mrselle

    mrselle Well-Known Member

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    I have a lot to share, but I wanted to touch on the bolded before I go to bed. When DH and I first got married, I had no idea how to grocery shop. The first few months we were married I was constantly going to the grocery store to pick up something that I needed before I could start cooking dinner. DH was patient with me, but I learned later that it got on his nerves. There is nothing that my husband loves more than a fully stocked home. I buy toilet paper, napkins and paper towels in bulk. I make sure that we always have his favorites on hand. At this point I'm such a pro that a few years ago we had a snow storm that kept us from leaving the house for a few days (we live in the south, so the least little bit of snow we all act a little crazy and refuse to leave the house). Anyway...I wasn't able to go out on the day that I usually grocery shop, but it didn't matter because I keep us stocked up on what we consider to be the essentials.

    I'll be back tomorrow with more.
     
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  8. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Honey - don't I know about how we act in the south over a teaspoon of snow. lol

    You sound like a very wise P31 woman.
     
  9. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Take care not to effeminize your husband and understand that "opposites attract" because our Creator planned it that way.


    When woman was taken out of man he was asleep. When he came to - and his woman was presented to him he exclaimed - "At Last! Bone of my bone - flesh of my flesh" - recognizing all that was taken out of him was found inside of her. He recognized immediately that she had "something" that he was missing.

    We were meant to be different... to complement one another. I'm cautioning against spending unnecessary time trying to "change" your husband; but rather allow the Holy Spirit to show you how to appreciate the God ordained differences between a man and wife.
     
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  10. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    :meme: I love "Marriage" threads... ME TOO!!!
    @Shimmie -I need more details on this house/home thing for the future...i mean your bathroom looks great...i'm stealing that idea...was your bathroom so "heavenly" with kids in the house?

    @momi && mrselle-good advice I do agree to that...i like to buy things in bulks because we have a large household and really like to stock up so i have some training on that now lol Having 6 brothers will do that to you... I carry a mama bag now and I dont have kids :nono:

    I agree but I pray that my husband wont have anything about him I would want to change lol Can you give examples of ways that you see wives effeminize their husbands?

    One thing I have learned is to not embarrass your mate especially in public! Your husband has a mother and it isnt you so treat him like an equal...if he needs quidance then do so with kind words instead of lecturing:yep:
     
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  11. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Take care of your hands... :yep:

    As a woman, our hands 'say' a lot... they actually speak volumes about us and what we are expressing or sharing with someone else.

    The nail threads that we have on the forum may seem extreme to some, however, it says a lot 'Good' about the women who take time to care for their hands. I truly admire them and have subscribed to the nail forum just to stay on top of the latest nail care advice. It's invaluable. :Rose:

    Soooooooo, Let's be real... "Girl Talk' here... Sister to Sister. :love2:

    Men love our touch. The slightest touch of our hands upon them 'moves' them.

    Our hands tell men a lot about us and men 'do' watch our hands.

    What do our hands say to a man? Think about it :scratchch:

    1. Nervous :nervous2:

    2. calm :meditate:

    3. Angry :mad:

    4. contentious :catfight:

    5. excited :bouncy:

    6. Talkative :blah:

    7. flirty :reddancer:

    8. shy :blush3:

    9. salacious :kissing4:

    10. Tender :giveheart:

    The hands of a woman have a very strong message when they touch a man. And I'm not relating to his 'private parts' :nono: If you touch his face, that means 'tender'. If you touch his arm it could mean flirty or teasing or a simple gesture of greeting. It depends on the touch.

    However, when you are with the man the God has placed into your life, do you want him to see a 'claw' or a rose petal coming towards him?

    Take care of your hands.

    No need for expensive salon visits for manicures. You can take care of your hands perfectly, if not better at home. Weekly soaks in warm olive oil and / or coconut oil. Keeping the cuticles neat with soft removers. Keeping your skin soft and nails neatly filed. Clear polish is fine for everyday, even better as it doesn't show color chips and your hands are always 'ready' for 'show'.

    I have more about hands. In all of my years of Dancing, I've learned that our hands really do speak / express volumes. They really make a difference in relationships, as they are a huge part of how we communicate our feelings. :yep:
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2013
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  12. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    Mine too....:lol: She's good....:yep:

    I totally agree with your post...a clean house is sooooooo important, and especially NO CLUTTER!!!
     
  13. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    Proverbs 31 talks also about how "A man is known in the gates...." Your husband will be known in his neighborhood, Church, etc. because of how you take care of him. The reason being is that he will always talk to others about how you take care of him:yep: so when people see you, they will remember "him" and how blessed he is to have you!:grin:

    Preparing now for your husband is a great thing. One thing I would say is that your relationship with the Lord is what is going to draw him to you. Also, placing yourself in a position to be an example like "Ruth", will certainly cause your "Boaz" to see you!:yep:

    Cooking is very important...men like to eat! Make special dinners for him that will make him smile. If you don't know what to cook, there are thousands of recipes on this forum as well as online. I love "Divascancook.com" Her website is nice and her recipes are really, really good. I've made a few things from her and my husband just :lick::lick:..everytime.

    Keeping his clothes clean and smelling good. Take the clothes to the dry cleaners (ie: shirts, suits, pants...etc.) and make sure that you don't have to ask him "do you need your stuff cleaned" just do it and make sure every time he goes into the closet, he has clean clothes to put on. Make sure to press whatever he needs too.

    Don't fuss with him when he wants to watch sports. Let him watch...he could be doing 'other' things that would make you unhappy, so sports can actually be a great thing. Make it a get together for him....have him invite some of his friends over and make some Hors d'oeuvre's and make enough that they can eat and be filled. Have some delicious lemonade or sweet tea available for them and your husband will be happy...:grin:.

    A happy man wants to be at home with his wife. But, he should also fellowship with his peers so that he can miss you. He will come home and be ':look:' happy....:lol:

    It's not all about just your mate being happy....you will get the benefits of it and you will be filled....trust me.:yep:
     
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  14. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    Yes girl and keep them toes tight...men like pretty feet and polished toes AND toes that are bare but buffed and trimmed nicely. My dh loves when I wear my toes with no polish...:look:
     
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  15. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    <<Tee-hee>>> We have counseled more than our share of couples and I can tell you for sure that if there is nothing you are not tempted to "change" then you will be an anomaly :lachen: No really - God is able.

    Ways I notice women try to effeminize their husbands?

    I'm having a hard time being as candid as I need to be - feeling a bit guarded on LHCF these days. I've typed and deleted about 5 times. :look:

    Lord help me - I'll be back.
     
  16. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    Love this.....:lol::lol:
     
  17. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    Girl....tell it!:look::lol:
     
  18. LadyPBC

    LadyPBC Well-Known Member

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    love this - thanks! I've got some work to do especially as it pertains to keeping my home in order. I can never keep it together.
     
  19. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    My husband and I have counseled so many couples and this is one of the areas the husbands complain about. We can't stress enough of how this is so important....:yep:

    Do a little bit every day. By the time Saturday comes around, you are only doing a little and you have more time for him and to pamper yourself.

    When I worked outside the home, I would come home in the evening and do a little bit of housework...whether it was dusting, vacuuming, or a load of laundry. I made sure to use that time as an extension of my work day and then I would rest. By the time Saturday rolled around, I would do very little...usually sweeping and mopping and then I was done. The house was clean and I could just rest and relax.

    You have to get into a pattern of always doing it weekly that way, you are not overwhelmed with doing so much on one day....:yep:
     
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  20. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Very well written! Love these. :yep:
     
  21. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Oh my - clutching the pearls with my hands.

    You have taken me to school with this! HANDS101 I've never thought about the language we are speaking with our hands.
     
  22. Laela

    Laela Caribbean

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    Nice thread... I third the motion on a clean house... it doesn't matter if it is a 700 sq ft apartment or a mansion.. a clean home is a clean home and reflects a caring heart...
     
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  23. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    we want more info Shimmie we are sooo in sync!!! lol I was just looking up ways to keep my hands looking younger this morning!!!!:yep:

    Nice & Wavy - i havent had bare toes in yrs!!! I get my feet done atleast mthly I'll try this one wk lol well atleast the clear lol Men do like pretty hands and feet...and soft skin (even when shaking my hand i USE to get compliments :blush:) i do get alot of compliments about my feet even when their swollen when i'm hot lol:look::lol:

    Thanks Laela - there we have it ladies!! KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN LOL if someone can tell me how to organize all my shoes life would be much easier in my room lol
     
  24. Galadriel

    Galadriel Well-Known Member

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    Wow, stephluv, Proverbs 31 was one of the passages read at my wedding :grin:.

    In regards to your question, I believe the root word for "obey" means to "listen to" or "give deference to," in the sense that we are to respect our husbands' input, feedback, requests, and advice. Usually when we hear the word "obey," we immediately imagine someone cowering or not thinking for herself and merely being told what to do. True obedience (in this particular context) means to respect, listen to, and give weight to our husbands and what they communicate to us. Now, it obviously goes without saying if a husband communicates something foolish, harmful, or immoral that it is not to be heeded or considered.

    Being a Christian wife for me has two important meanings. It's my vocation or life-calling, to be my husband's partner, lover, and best friend, and it is also a call for me to be a mother. Our union, a reflection of the love of God, is meant to be life-giving and fruitful.

    In practical terms (as far as our day-to-day operations go), depending on our circumstances, strengths and personalities, we carry out different duties or responsibilities to run our household and rear the children.

    Being happy in a marriage needs to have more depth--you need to have joy, even in the midst of hardship or sacrifice. There are days you're going to disagree or argue, or have miscommunication, or even be annoyed :lol:. However, having a solid foundation, knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses, and a firm commitment, will help you.

    As far as preparation, there's nothing wrong with wanting to hone your cooking skills, dressing nice, etc., but just remember that your goal should be to develop yourself on all levels (physically, mentally, spiritually) as a complete person, regardless if you find "the one." In my view, it's not two halves making a whole, but 1+1=1 you are a complete person, and he should be a complete person, and you two will merge as one in marriage. you'll be of one flesh, mind, and heart.
     
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  25. Galadriel

    Galadriel Well-Known Member

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    Oh my, reading the other ladies' responses, I feel like I went off on a tangent and just rambled :lol: I hope what I've said has been of use.
     
  26. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    One of most telling features of a woman is how she 'moves' her hands.

    Here's an exercise for each of you to try: :yep:

    Stand in front of a mirror and just be yourself. Watch how your hand movements flow with your emotions. You don't even have to think about it. Your hands just naturally express (communicate) what you are feeling inside.

    For yourself, for your husband.....Take special care of your hands... :yep:
     
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  27. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    More on Hands:

    The Bible says, "A soft answer turns away wrath'. :yep: And it does. :yep:

    Soft hands can turn a man's heart... :yep:

    My next post is:

    Loving Hands that Say, I Love You. :Rose:

    I'll be back later tonight :yep:
     
  28. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

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    I was just sitting back enjoying this thread ...but since I was tagged :look:okay here goes.

    In my observation many women put a great deal of effort into their appearance hair, dress make-up etc., and once they get married everything goes to pot. Remember your physical appearance is one of the things that made you attractive to your husband.

    I'm not saying to wear full make up every day (honestly some men don't like make-up) but we can still look good, dragging slippers with crusty heels and nails that needed to be filled two months ago, a weave that looks like a birds nest or a quick run to the store in a sleep cap, uh uh :nono:.

    Keep it simple healthy and looking good and while we continue to work on our outward appearance let make sure inside 'the cup' looks good too and I'm not only speaking about health but keeping free from gossip and sarcasm, jealousy envy, greed, coveting and the like and practice the fruit of the spirit



    “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)
     
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  29. Maracujá

    Maracujá Well-Known Member

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    This is such a timely and insightful thread, thank you for the tag! Here's my problem: time. Where do I find the time to do all these things? I was listening to Nancy Leigh Demoss' sermon on 'lies women believe' and she said that if Jesus had time to do his ministry in three years then you too have time to handle your business in the amount of time you have. She went on to say that one of the many lies women believe is that we don't have enough time to do all we have to do. A 40-year-old co-worker of mine wakes up every single day at 5am to take her teenage kids to school and take care of her home before starting work around (the after)noon. I have no children but already wake up every day at 6am to handle my business and since I don't have a car it takes me HOURS to get it all done which leaves little time for self-pampering. The latter is a luxury at my place...sorry for this long vent but I needed to let it out.

    So here's my question: how do you ladies manage your time?
     
  30. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    THANK YOU @Galadriel Your post was beautiful and very insightful I took alot from that! I have a question did you decide prior to marrying your husband the responsibilities and duties or did you 2 fall naturally into your roles?
    @Iwanthealthyhair67 so true...i have been trying to be that kind, loving, joyous, gentle woman...being around women who are less ratchet has helped:blush:

    @Maracujá - we are in the same boat! I'm a commuter with no car so most of my day is gone by the time i get home but like @Laela mentioned we have to do things little by little - kinda like we're conditioning ourselves so its more out of habit then neccessity
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2013

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