Proverbs 31 Woman duties/role as a Christian wife?

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by stephluv, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. Britt

    Britt Well-Known Member

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    stephluv thanks for tagging me !!!!!

    YESSSSSSSSSSSS this is so timely. I'm getting out of a relationship and I know some areas I need to work on. I've prayed on it, I need help being more tidy and organized. I'm very cluttered and I get incredibly overwhelmed with organizing. My SO was a pro at this, almost OCD about it. Oddly enough, my mind is focused and right but organizing and putting things in their right place has always been an issue for me. I'd like to become more domestic. I'm so used to having my own space, and I've lived alone for 5 years that I'm used to my mess. This fall and winter I want to try to learn to also cook more dishes.

    So my goals are to become more domesticated and disciplined. I need discipline when it comes to exercising.
     
  2. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    Enjoyed the responses.......
    One other important thing I've seen and heard was to not let anyone into your relationship. Most people are not happy for your marriage. They can fill your head with negative seeds and cause division.

    Continously pray and fast for your marriage...........
     
  3. Galadriel

    Galadriel Well-Known Member

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    We participated in pre-marital counseling through our church, which helped us sort it out :yep:.
     
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  4. mrselle

    mrselle Well-Known Member

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    I agree. There is a thread in the OT forum that talks about this. It may be a bit extreme for some people, but I have taken a few tips from that thread and it does make a difference. For instance, I've started wearing more dresses during the week. I'm a SAHM mom, but I've found some dresses that are cute, comfortable and somewhat practical for me. One day I put on a dress to take the kids to shopping for school. I walked into my husband's office before we left to tell him bye and he did a double take and gave me a huge smile. He was on the phone with a co-worker, but he whispered to me that I looked good and gave me a kiss and a "pat" before I walked out. All that over a blue dress and a cream colored belt. :)
     
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  5. mrselle

    mrselle Well-Known Member

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    I am learning to do a little bit at a time. I've found that some chores don't take as long as I think they will. For example, I am in the middle of cleaning out a few closets in our home. I cleaned out my stepdaughter's closet in less than thirty minutes and cleaned and organized the linen closet in one of the bathrooms in 10 minutes. We have a nice size home and with three kids I can't clean it all in a day. But, if I work on certain rooms, certain days of the week that helps me stay on top of things. I think Nice & Wavy talked about this too.
     
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  6. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    I'll tread lightly here...

    I believe there is strong Biblical support for a wife to be a keeper at home with her primary responsibilities centered around her home.

    Having the responsibility of keeping a home and all that it truly entails AND full time job outside of the home is a lot to ask.:ohwell: Too much to ask in my opinion.

    Secondly, there is something that happens to a man when he understands that he carries the sole financial responsibility of his family. It forces them to un- earth gifts that they may have not put to use. Necessity breeds invention.
     
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  7. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Yes! :grin:
     
  8. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    More on Hands:

    The Bible says, "A soft answer turns away wrath'. :yep: And it does. :yep:

    Soft hands can turn a man's heart... :yep:


    Loving Hands that Say, I Love You. :Rose:

    :Rose: Extending your hands (softly) to pray for and with him

    :Rose: Extending your hands to let him help you (from the car, down the stairs, etc.) Let him help you. Men need to feel that you 'need' him and that you respect his 'abilities'.

    :Rose: Tying his tie. (Learn to tie a tie... :yep: )

    :Rose: Brushing your hair (Husbands love to watch you do this) :love3:

    :Rose: Making his favorite snack.

    :Rose: Bring him a huge glass or mug of his favorite juice or ice water, while he is 'lost' in the football or basketball game.

    :Rose: Bring him a glass of water for his vitamins in a crystal goblet. Show him that he's more important than your special glassware that you have on display or that you save for company or special occasions. "Hubby" is the Special Occasion... always. :love2:

    :Rose: Going for a walk together? Hold hands. :love2:

    :Rose: At the 'Drive thru'? Take one of his fries, and feed it to him.

    :Rose: When he has a victory, clap for him; be his greatest cheer leader. Reach up with those beautiful hands and give him a 'double high five'.

    :Rose: Never, ever point your fingers in nor towards his face. Never :nono: Never :nono:

    :Rose: When communicating something with him, use your hands, soft open palm at an angle and gesture with your hands, away from him, not using your fingers to point at him. Pointing says, 'You are the blame...not me'.

    :Rose: After a long hard day at work or a family struggle or a disagreement with his boss or his staff. Bring him a warm towel after he has taken a shower and wrap him in it. Cause he's your 'Boo'... him is your 'Sweet Baby'. As you 'wrap him, tuck the towel in the back and while standing behind him, hug him from behind.... whisper in his ear,

    'Baby... I got your back'

    There's so much more... :yep:

    I have a Marriage thread (a fun thread for WIVES) in here somewhere. It goes way back. "For Wives Only". It's a really fun thread for Marriage. :yep:
     
  9. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

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    Being a wife is definitively a full time job, the working mom or housewife it's a job within a job...praying for you wives the responsibility is great and not to be taken lightly.
     
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  10. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    Shimmie
    This brings back memories. I remember my exes noted that they knew I was pulling back when I no longer reached out to touch them, pat their back or hold their hands. LOL
    The power of touch!
     
  11. Highly Favored8

    Highly Favored8 Well-Known Member

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    stephluv-thank you for this thread. Ladies thank you for all of your inputs.
     
  12. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    @Successfulmiss - in another thread you mentioned that while celibate for a few years prior to marrying your husband you were given a vision that you would one day marry.... did that vision encourage you to "prepare" for marriage? if so do you have any tips for us ladies

    mrselle- yes i also have read the other thread and i'm learning some stuff for there too I must say that some of the most feminine females i know are Christians.... its all really coming together for me as my walk with God grows that i'm also getting more in tune with being the Wo-man for my "Adam"
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2013
  13. LucieLoo12

    LucieLoo12 Well-Known Member

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    I seen I was tagged :look::lol:. I am not a wife yeeeett, but will be soon. :lol:

    But as far as naturally I have been preparing myself by cooking more :look: I've never been a big cooker because of a lack of time. But I've been working on it :lol:. Thank God FH is a great cook :yep:

    I am trying to loose those last 10 pounds, but I don't know yet. It seems like when I'm nervous, I eat more :drunk:...

    But honestly, I am preparing myself more spiritually than anything. Preparing myself to submit to my husband and have that meek and gentle spirit with him. Really wanting to be more like Christ. I know that I can be a good cook, lover, housekeeper etc, but if I don't have the nature and mannerisms of Christ, it's all in vain. Me and FH fast together and get in the word together to make sure our minds are right concerning the roles we are about to take on. I am not ignorant of that my whole life is about to change. I have to know fight now not to focus so much on the wedding planning, but making sure my heart is right. :lol:

    I am looking to add to my husband, I really am. I've seen so many nit picking complaining wives and I can not let that be me :nono::lol: Yall pray for me.
     
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  14. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    The most important thing is to pray. Pray with your husband and for your husband.

    Pray:

    *that temptations will be removed before they can ever become part of his mind, heart, or experience
    *that God will show you what he needs/desires and that God will enable you to fulfill those needs/desires EVERY day with a happy heart
    *that God will bless the intimacy in your marriage. Do not use sex as a weapon or tool to get what you want. Do not use it to manipulate or wield power. Sex in marriage is a very beautiful thing and God is honored when we enjoy that intimacy with our spouse. God wants our sex lives to excellent.
    *that God will bless you to enjoy being a wife, enjoy spending time with your husband, and bless you to find joy in submitting to and serving him
    *that God will enable you to dress and carry yourself in a manner that your husband finds enthralling, honorable, dignified, and beautiful.
    *that God will fill you with the desire to put your husband first in your life after God (yes, this means your husband comes before your children)
    *that God will bless you and your husband with much fruit (children) and that He will give you both the same heart an desire for children that He has
    *that God will give you the right words, countenance, body language when your husband is sharing his heart with you. Men are a lot more sensitive than we often think. They find it very disrespectful when they choose to share and we don't listen. Even a negative or blank facial expression can be perceived as disinterest or disrespect
    *that God gives you genuine words of praise for your husband and the opportunities to lavish him with those words. Men seek to be respected and admired by their wives. To them, that is love. The words of praise that he needs to hear every day should come foremost from your mouth as his wife. The last thing you want is for him to get the praise he needs so badly from the world and especially not from female coworkers.
    *that God will show you when to speak and when to listen. Ask God to give you the right words for your husband at all times but especially when you two are in a disagreement or when you are angry with him. Pray and ask God for the right timing and words before you share something with you husband that pertains to him having displeased you
    *Thank God for your husband EVERY day, thank God for his work ethic and the way he takes care of your family.
    *as God to bless you to view your husband through God's eyes
    *that God enable you to make the home a haven for your husbands spirit. That your home and your presence will be so pleasing to him that he'll be sad to leave in the morning and overjoyed to return home at night.

    DO:

    *Send him flowers (men seldom get these and they are very sensitive/appreciative os such gestures. They want to feel loved just as much if not more than we do)
    *Be gentle with his heart. Don't laugh at his dreams/desires. When he speaks negatively of himself, share your heart with him about why those things are untrue. Tell him all of the positive things you see in him (you'll be able to do this even when you are angry with him if you are consistently praying that God will enable you to view him the same way God does).
    *Touch him. Rub his back, rub his feet, run your finger through his hair. Men need touch that is and also isn't just related to sex. It reminds them that you find them attractive and irresistible. They need to feel desired by YOU. His desire for human touch needs to be primarily filled by YOU.
    *Kiss him. Not them tiny, quick pecks either. KISS him and make his toes curl.
    *Feed him with good food made from your own hands. Put down the heavily processed, frozen foods. Feed him! Oh, and serve his plate too, even when you are in the company of others.
    *keep the home in order
    *never call a repair man before you have spoken to your husband--men like to men and many men will not a repair man immediately. Men like to be responsible for their own castle and they want their wives to depend on them and trust their instincts. While following this tip, also pray that God gives your husband wisdom!
    *I am a stay at home wife and mother, so I run whatever errands I can to help my husband out. I also try to minimize errands that I ask him to run because he works a lot of hours. However, the more God blessed me to be mindful of hubby's needs in this area, the more God blessed me by having hubby offer to help me! Every evening without fail, he will call before he leaves work and ask if there is anything I need him to get/do on the way home. He could be dog tired but he'll call and ask. If I need something he takes care of it with a good attitude. This is a tremendous blessing to me and it shows how God meets our needs when we meet the needs of others.
    *Tell him you love him
    *wear his favorite perfume, hairstyle, dress, lingerie,....etc. It lets him know that you value his opinion
    *Let your compliments far outweigh your criticisms
    *Listen, listen, listen
    *Don't nag. Ask God to give you favor with your husband.
    *realize men need social time with other men. Don't be the wife who hates his friends and is unwelcoming. If he is having friends over put in the same effort you would put in if you were having friends over. His friend matter to him just like your matter to you. If they are watching sports and you are not participating in that, then make snacks and prepare a nice spread of food and drinks. Show Christian love and hospitality. Plus, if you home is the preferred gathering place (I am talking about a normal amount of social gathering and not excess) then you know what's going on and that their is Christian influence in your own home. Pray that God blesses your husband with Christian male friends who can serve as accountability partners, as well as an older Christian male as a mentor.
    *If your husband loves sports, watch with him or go to the game with him. Try to get involved where you can/where it's appropriate in the things he enjoys. Men respond to that and you'll see him make an effort to get involved in the pastimes you enjoy as well.
    *Smile at him EVERY day--the type of smile that makes your eyes sparkle and shows true joy. Just look at the wonderful man you married and admire him--the way he looks, his strong hands, his strong shoulders. Let him see the love you have for him in your eyes.
    *When he is sick simply take care of him without complaining or making fun of how he may make a cold seem like the loss of a limb. Remember their hearts and feelings are really quite fragile. Men seldom let others see them in vulnerable positions. So...when he makes a mountain out the molehill of a cold that he has...he is really showing that he trusts you and loves you very much. He is willing to be vulnerable with you and is trusting you with his heart. Don't laugh at him even if you really want to. Just love on him and baby him a bit. He'll appreciate it and will bounce back faster.
    *Let him protect you. You are under your husband's covering. Men have God-given protective instincts. When he expresses a concern for you or the children take it seriously and do what he asks.
     
  15. AtlantaJJ

    AtlantaJJ Well-Known Member

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    This is CLASSIC! Thank you Shimmie
     
  16. AtlantaJJ

    AtlantaJJ Well-Known Member

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    I need to print this and the entire thread!

    This entire thread is incredible and full of wisdom!

    :thankyou:
     
  17. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    It's a sticky yayyyyyyyyyyyy
     
  18. Laela

    Laela Embrace Melanin

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    Hmmmmmmm, Shimmmie...and I thank you. I'll try that. lol I'm very expressive with my hands when I talk, so much so sometimes DH follows my hands with his head while I talk so that I notice and realize what I'm doing.. :lol:


    Galadriel... Blackpearl1993, I really enjoyed your posts, ladies!! :grin: Thanks for sharing...
     
  19. Nice & Wavy

    Nice & Wavy Well-Known Member

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    :dighole: :lachen:
     
  20. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Totally Classic! BlackPearl1993 ... Pearls of Wisdom

    CLASSIC! :notworthy: Totally Classic! Filled with Pearls of Wisdom.

    Blackpearl1993... thank you for this blessing.
     
  21. Divine.

    Divine. Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for tagging me stephluv! I love to hear from Christian wives. That way I can easily see what I need to work on. And from the looks of this thread, it seems like that's a lot :look::lol:
     
  22. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Oh my Goodness... :lol: Laela, I'm telling you, our hands have wings, flying all over the place. :lol: They move with the same rhythm of our words. Men will watch our hands when we're talking. :yep:

    Hey, when a man starts backing up...it's not from a woman's breath. :nono:

    It's those hands a' flyin'. He's moving out the way from getting hit... :peek:
     
  23. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    I know......right? Laela's comment about her hubby following her hands is a classic...:lol:
     
  24. Incognitus

    Incognitus New Member

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    Thanks for the tag stephluv

    I'm not a wife yet, but I have been making a conscious effort to prepare for when I am one. I cook elaborate meals, just for myself (so I can practice). I even learn to cook meals I'm not crazy about, but are traditional island dishes. I read up on common men's health issues and how food plays a role. I have started to adjust my beauty regimen for when I no longer sleep alone (i.e. bonnet vs wrap, oils/moisturizers that smell good, adding scented oils to my shampoo/conditioner....etc).


    My father has always drilled into my head, the significance of a woman's hands. He said a woman's hands should be soft, neat, manicured, and inviting to the touch. I've noticed that when my nails are long, my mannerisms change. I become more feminine in my body language. I know part of it is because I'm being careful not to chip my nail. However, the other aspect is that I FEEL more feminine. When they're short, broken, or stubby, I'm a bit more rough. My movements don't seem as elegant.


    A few of my dad's tips while growing up: (not really marriage related, but hey...I already typed it before I realized that) :lol:
    natural, neat, manicured, soft hands AND feet
    natural (or natural looking), neat, clean hair
    Always have lotion, safety pin, bobby pin, napkins, gum (or the likes), in your bag.
    Be conscious of how you're sitting.
    You eyes say a lot, be careful not to convey the wrong message.
     
  25. sounbeweavable

    sounbeweavable New Member

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    I'm not an expert by any means about the Bible or being a wife since I'm single and am only recently getting into the Bible seriously, but at church their interpretation of being submissive is that a woman should be submissive because she should marry a man worth being submissive to... meaning he's a good man and has enough heart, strength, and moral/common sense that you want to listen to him and don't have to correct him.

    I like to think of myself as being an independent woman, but I like that idea. Being with a man who can give my mind a vacation from all of the planning and thinking because I trust and know he'll make good decisions would be nice.
     
  26. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    LucieLoo12 - your welcome I love that you and your FH fast together! I couldnt agree with your post more!

    Blackpearl1993 - :goodpost:since thanks wasnt enough!!

    Divine. Your welcome! We all can stand to improve and I know i have been...I was on the phone last night with my male friend and he complimented me on my mature conversation about my role as a Christian woman:blush::look::yep:
    Incognitus - Your welcome! I want more details on the food and the mens health...another poster was speaking of this....we have more males in my fam with me having 6 brothers :ohwell: Also good pt about being conscious of how you sit...I need to work on this since i seem to forget i can still sit like a lady while wearing pants:drunk:

    sounbeweavable - good info and i totally agree Thanks!
     
  27. mrselle

    mrselle Well-Known Member

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    Incognitus - I love that your dad shared tips with you while you were growing up. It is always nice to get the dad's perspective on what attracts a man to a woman. I find that what attracts a man and keeps a man can sometimes be different from what women think.
     
  28. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Incognitus... Your Dad is so special. :yep: Thank him for confirming about a woman's hands. Men have broken dates over a woman's hands being overly expressive or just plain tacky looking. It really matters that we keep our hands n check. :yep:
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2013
  29. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    It's interesting that you mentioned dresses specifically. My husband loves it when I wear dresses. I feel more feminine and beautiful in dresses than pants. I have actually been considering making the change to wearing primarily dresses and skirts (note: this is not for religious/spiritual reasons but personal preference of how I'd like to embrace femininity. My daughter also loves to wear dresses and she likes it when mommy wears them too). I think men like to see women wear dresses because it reminds them or our femininity and beauty as well.
     
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  30. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Blackpearl1993 :wave:

    I love dresses and long full skirts. I love the way they 'float' with every movement.

    My Dad told me that men prefer to see a woman in dresses that are long as they look more appealing, more feminine. I used to think that he was just saying that to keep me from wearing mini skirts :lol:

    Over the years I've learned that he was telling me the truth. My Dad was saying that the less a woman shows a man, the longer he will stay interested.

    When a woman wears shorter garments, a man may look but he won't have to 'wonder what's under'. He already has a full view. In a longer skirt or dress, he'll continue to guess.... :love3:
     
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