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Question for those who've always had long hair...

I apologize if this has been discussed before, the search engine isn't working.

My mother screwed my hair up when I was younger. I don't want the same for my little sisters. One is 8 and unfortunately I couldn't save her from the relaxer. The other is going to be 5 this year...and I'm going to try harder this time to save her. My relaxed sister has hair that is a bit past APL. I'm wanting to keep her hair long and growing longer. I've told my mother that I'll be responsible for their hair for now on. I don't want them to end up like me. I want them to always have healthy hair that grows to its full potential. I want to save them from the low self esteem that comes from chemical burns and bald spots from braiding too tight. So for the ladies here who've always had hair APL or longer when you were younger...what do you contribute to your length? How did your parents/guardians take care of your hair? I want to get my 8 year old sister's hair to waistlength relaxed, and my natural sister...I dont' know her hair type. It might be 4b because she has no real curl pattern...but it straightens easily. If you put it in a ponytail, by the morning her hair will stretch to almost straight. I'm wanting her hair to stay natural and retain some decent length. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
 

2cute2B4gotten

New Member
Ironically, both my sister and I both had long hair growing up even though my mother knows nothing about haircare. Really, all she did was wash it, oil it and braid it and our hair was always long. I truly believe the less you do to your hair, the better. IMO little girls should never have perms... thick curly, kinky, coily ponytails are just SO cute. Why would anyone ever want to change that? My advice to you is to keep your little sisters hair washed and moisturized and they should be fine. Don't forget to tell them how beautiful natural hair is!
 

inthepink

New Member
I had braids for the most part when I was a kid. I got a relaxer at age 12 and my hair got shorter and shorter till I learned how to care for it and found a good stylist. Within a year or two, it was long again.
 
2cute2B4gotten said:
Ironically, both my sister and I both had long hair growing up even though my mother knows nothing about haircare. Really, all she did was wash it, oil it and braid it and our hair was always long. I truly believe the less you do to your hair, the better. IMO little girls should never have perms... thick curly, kinky, coily ponytails are just SO cute. Why would anyone ever want to change that? My advice to you is to keep your little sisters hair washed and moisturized and they should be fine. Don't forget to tell them how beautiful natural hair is!

Yea I think my mother messed up by just throwing my hair in ponytails and not doing much to it. If I had it my way, my 8 year old sister would never be relaxed. But it's kinda too late now. Her hair is long, thick and gorgeous. She really likes her hair just the way it is...so I'll just keep it that way. Touchup wise, it'll be once or twice a year...only when her hair really starts to break because of damage. Her hair grows really, really, slow...she is at least 3-4 months post and probably doesn't even have 1/2 inch of new growth! So retaining length is key. Thanks for the advice and your hair is so gorgeous!
 

MissFallon

Well-Known Member
My mother either braided my hair and put barrets on the ends, or put it in a bunch of ponytails at the top of my head with barrets. She made this grease which she swore grew my hair that she would put in my hair each night. She would also hot comb it sometimes and put it in ponytails. She just made sure my hair was moisturized. When I relaxed I wore my hair the same way and it still grew. It wasn't until I cut it at 18 to APl that it wouldn't grow back. I think it was just because I would use a curling iron everyday to bump my ends and wouldn't moisturize my hair properly or as much as I should have.
 

Sweet_Ambrosia

Well-Known Member
My mom always kept my hair in braids and twists.
She used to wash my hair once a week, and deep condition it once a month.
She rarely used any heat on my hair, only on occasion.
As far as using a moisturizer, she didnt use anything on my hair and scalp but Ultra Sheen hair grease (and we all know that hair grease isnt a moisturizer) but my hair still grew healthy and long.
Simplicity worked for my hair, even back then. :lol:

*My advice is keep their hair and scalp clean by washing it atleast once a week, moisturize their hair as often as needed, and opt for low maintenance hairstyles.

HTH
 

camellia

New Member
My mother knew very little about hair care. She would wash my hair and my sisters hair once a week with whatever shampoo and conditioner were on sale. She brushed and braied our hair into two braids every morning with water and vaseline. I had waistlength hair as a child and so did my sisters.

My problems started when I discovered I could make my hair straight with heat as a young teen. I burned and fried my hair to a few inches above BSL very quickly using a curling iron with no heat protectant almost every day.

My hair didn't start to grow properly again until I cut off all of the burned damaged hair and stopped using heat.
 

seeminglysweet

New Member
I've had some traumatic hair experiences...

My older sister did my hair. It was washed about every other week blow dryed and put into ponytails. I had huge, puffy, long thick hair. ONe day I was trying to comb it myself and be a "big girl" and I got so frustrated I just cut a big chunk out with the scissors so that it would fit into the klunker ball elastic band.

I don't remember when I got relaxed, I know I was younger than 10. I got a bad touch-up and the left back portion of my hair burned out, I wore my hair braided for a school year and it was fine and back to normal.

My aunt who was a hair stylists then did my hair for a couple years and when she got sick my mom started taking me to the cosmetology school to get touch ups. After not really liking that whole scene my mom started pressing my hair after I shampooed and blow dryed it. She burned the front right edge area so bad that the hair was blonde for weeks.

When I was 11 I started going to a stylist who was friends with my aunt....I've been going to her since. I learned to take care of my hair by intensely watching what she did to my hair and other people with hair like mine.

I think for kids the less work the better. Wash it weekly, keep it braided and moisturized (I'm a HUGE believer in grease) and covered when sleeping, they should be fine as long as they don't have a track record anywhere near mine.
 
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Supergirl

With Love & Silk
Well, I haven't always had long hair so can't help with that--but I wanted to say you're a real sweet big sis! :up:
 

Isis

New Member
I did not always have long hair but as a little girl I did - before the relaxers started. Keeping my hair in box braids (like I do now) worked for me. My childhood regimen my mother did was so simple - shampoo once each week, apply Ultra Sheen pomade, comb through (ouch!!) and then my hair was braided (plaits) up in two or three braids (one in front and two in back) and airdried that way. Braidouts for church on Sundays. ;)
 

Vshanell

FKA Pokahontas
My hair was always long when I was young. I can remember in my kindergarden school pic I had these pig tails that looked almost longer than me,lol. My mom always kept my hair braided except for the occasional wedding or school pic when I got older. All she did was comb it out everyday, add some grease and braid it back up. Very simple. She never trimmed it, deep conditioned, pressed it or anything. She might have washed it once a month, I hated wash day. I didn't start wearing my hair open until middle school so I guess my advise would be to keep it moisturized and braided up.
 

lala

Well-Known Member
2cute2B4gotten said:
Ironically, both my sister and I both had long hair growing up even though my mother knows nothing about haircare. Really, all she did was wash it, oil it and braid it and our hair was always long. I truly believe the less you do to your hair, the better. IMO little girls should never have perms... thick curly, kinky, coily ponytails are just SO cute. Why would anyone ever want to change that? My advice to you is to keep your little sisters hair washed and moisturized and they should be fine. Don't forget to tell them how beautiful natural hair is!

That same philosophy worked for me. My hair was never braided just maintained in one or two ponytails with bangs. My Mom used plain old shampoo/conditioner/vaseline for me.
 
Wow, thanks everyone for the advice! I've always figured that simplicity was the key. And it's funny how plain old shampoo and vaseline did the trick.
 

shalom

New Member
My little sister and I have always had very long hair and what my mom did was wash every 2 weeks and use a grease call "Indian Sage". I swear to this did it's what grew our hair.

Now I have a friend who's daughter hair might be about 4a or 4b and for the first couple of years of their life those girls hair would not grow. She use to say that her daughters hair is just stuck to the scalp and won't grow, but what she did was she used one of those hair grow oil the African kind and box braided their hair it seems like she did this for about 2 years and the next thing you know them girls hair was waist length.

I know another lady from church every sunday she use to brush her daughter hair during the service and when her little girl got to about 5 she had waist lenght hair as well.
 

ChocoKitty

Well-Known Member
When I was young and my hair was long my mother would:

-Wash my hair every week to two weeks I believe
-Hot oil my hair with Sulfur 8, Glovers Mange & Dax Vegetable grease before washing.
-Kept my hair big twists all the time. Sometimes I'd wear beads.
-She would always be sure to remove the rubber bands and etc before bed.
-I always wore a "stocking cap" to bed.
-She would touch up my edges with water and Dax.
-I also remember using this stuff called "Herbex" back in the day. It was a spray that was excellent for natural hair. It was sorta like "No more tangles". It kept my hair very moist and easy to comb through.
 

sareca

Well-Known Member
I guess it depends on what you mean by long. People always told me I had long hair, but I consider BSL+ long. Anyway, my mother washed and conditioned my hair with Nexxus products and Sulphur 8 grease for as long as I can remember. I used to call all conditoners Nexxus like you call facial tissue Kleenex.:lachen:My hair was long until I got it cut at 14 (CL). It grew back to APL until I was in my mid 20's. That's when I started wearing braids and it grew to BSL (or just above), but it gradually broke off to SL because I didn't know how to take care of them. I put them back and it grew out again then broke off again. (sigh) I got stuck there for years and years. It didn't matter if my hair was relaxed or if it had grown out, it still broke off when it was out of braids. That pretty much bring me up today.

BTW, I was 17 or 18 and out of the house before I got my first relaxer. I got another at like 22, then again at 25ish and again at about 28. My last 2 relaxers were both last year in Aug on virgin hair and again in Nov (my first touch-up EVER). We don't really do touchups in my family. Relaxers are a novelity. Some of us are natural and never straighten, some do periodically, other relax every year. Basically, you have them until they grow out then you do it again. Kinda like dye. I'm probably going to raise my babies the same way.
 
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IAOJ

Member
My mom didnt believe in relaxers, constantly pressing hair, or adding hair to braids so i pretty much had my hair in twists or braids until i was 15 and it was almost waist legnth. My only problem came when I started to wash and wear using shampoo each day and without detangling. Also, my mom started letting me get my hair pressed once a month and my evil hairdresser cut off 6+ inches of hair while i wasnt facing the mirror.:mad:
 

SoAnxious12

New Member
By the time I was 7 my hair was about mid back and stayed there until i was 11- going on 12. I got my 1st relaxer at around 9 becuase my mom got arthritis and it hurt for her to deal with so much hair. But until i was 12 my mom kept my hair braided. She washed and used like a lil 3min conditioner once a week (she never deep conditioned) oiled my scalp with olive oil or used profectiv(yup i'm that young lol) and then braided it. Until the next week. She trimmed once a year only.
 
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