Relaxed Hair Thread

Discussion in 'Hair Care Tips & Product Review Discussion' started by sweetpeadst, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Sorry so late, sis. I have been out building a dog pen in my backyard and then recovering bc I overdid it. :lachen:

    For my scalp and hair, I've learned the stronger the better. IF I mix in water, it's 75% ACV, 25% water. But I actually prefer now to use the ACV straight. In fact, white vinegar has been very good to me too. I use them interchangeably. They're both acidic enough to balance my pH and they both will heal any burns. Once I started properly basing with Vaseline, I haven't had any scalp burns in years! HTH! :)
     
  2. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Awww! Oh no! ((BIG HUG)) And no, please do not shave ... yet.

    So interesting, right before you and I started talking about you relaxing, I had just posted about how all neutralizing shampoos aren't created equal! I bought Isoplus neutralizing shampoo sometime last year or in 2018 because I wanted to try something with a color indicator. Let me tell you, my hair always felt weird when I was neutralizing those relaxers. I thought it was something else bc I was also adjusting other things in my process. But this last time, in November, I was using the last of the Isoplus on my second wash and then added in my usual Motions neutralizing poo. And it was amazing the difference, immediately! My hair was so rough w the Isoplus, I kept thinking how my cuticles must be extra lifted or something. As soon as I added in the Motions, my hair got soft. I couldn't believe it! I learned then and there that all neutralizing poos are NOT created equal and I will stick w Motions from here on out.

    About the corrective: Sis, let me tell you, the ladies were warning me not to do mine too but I was like, naw I'll be cool, no worries. Almost immediately, I regretted doing it ... both times. LOL. The second time I did it was years later and I had forgotten how much I hated it the first time. No more for me. I learned that if my relaxer is bad then I'll adapt and live with it until the next time I relax. I view life as endless opportunities to learn so I was like, nope I'm not giving up, I'm gonna find a simple regi that works for my laziness and ride that puppy until my hair is healthy again. And I think you can do the same! You can have the hair that YOU want without having to do 50-11 things to get it! This is not an infomercial, Lol. Really, there's waaayyy too much info on this board and for YEARS there were ladies growing long, MBL/WL/HL healthy relaxed hair so I know it's possible!

    For instance, don't beat me up, but *I think* that maybe you don't need to dilute your relaxers. Maybe the way you keep a little texture is by learning what is the amount of time that you need to keep the undiluted relaxer on. Initially, I think you should relax once every 3-4 months until you get a hang of things and your hair. Use the time to try out a new relaxer, bc it seems what you're using is not compatible w your hair. Perhaps your hair is trying to tell you that she's a no-lye lady?

    For now, please baby your hair while we all put our collective heads together to figure out what it is you may need to do to get you where you wanna be. Definitely start DCing with a moisturizing DC twice a week. You can do one after a wash and then do one midweek overnight or something and then rinse it in the shower and wet bun the next day. Speaking of wash, I think you should skip the poo and strictly cowash or water rinse for a minute. If your scalp can't take that try adding some baking soda to the condish for a gentle cleanser or just massage a little poo on your scalp with your finger tips. I think you should do that until your hair is no longer brittle/dry. No protein tx yet until your hair tells you that you need it!! Once your hair is no longer dry/brittle, braid her up and put her away for at least 3 weeks.

    I'm thinking you rock wet buns or even 4-5 plaits under a removable wig so that you can tend to your hair underneath. Don't over manipulate your hair. If you do the wigs/plaits, cleanse, DC and moisturize and seal in those same plaits. Only redo them once a week. And I don't mean to take them all down and redo them, I mean redo them one by one, keeping the same sections/parts. That helps to minimize manipulation.

    You have to forgive me, I have been a crisis worker for many years so when a crisis happens, I go into problem solving mode. LOL. You know you don't have to listen to a word I say, LOL. I'm just hoping one of these things will help get you thru the immediate aftermath.

    Sorry again for the novel. :blush:
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  3. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Sorry, I replied without finishing the thread. Lol, SMH.
    Yet again, I see sista @Wenbev is on it!!

    And OMG, @FadingDelilah , I learned the hard way too. Isoplus is the DEVIL!!
     
  4. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    Luckily I haven't experienced any burns except a little sting on my face when I rinsed the relaxer right into it in the shower, smh. Newbie mistakes. LOL. I do the first rinse out with my head held back now. :lachen:And that sounds like great idea cause I only put a few spoons of vinegar in mine... now I feel dumb. I based the heck out of my scalp both times so at least I did that right. :rolleyes:
     
  5. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    I would have been bald if I didn't read this. I'm sniffling. I feel like since its my hair I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I get scared that everything I think of won't work for this or that reason. For example, I know I need to actually sit down and DETANGLE and find a real good deep moisture-based deep conditioner before I just start assuming my hair is a broken dry mess that cannot be saved, but my heart is like "just shave it, its over. Your hair is ugly, damaged and unstylable and it always will be." I'm so used to failing and putting in work for no returns so its kind of like I can't calmly think about and solve my own hair issues anymore. My mind is in its own cycle of making assumptions and I get so flustered I just tie it up under a scarf and thinking about doing it makes me nervous. Okay, imma reread this and let it sink in. Then think of a plan. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! AGAIN!!!!

    Edit: Okay so heres what I thought of so far.

    -I will definitely not be using the isolpus anymore. I will use something *gasps* more expensive and better reviewed next time instead of being a cheapskate. Hopefully that helps.

    - Since I base properly, I won't dilute my relaxer next time because my hair is still a bit too textured for my liking. I was only diluting it because undiluted it seemed like I wouldn't have enough relaxer for all my hair, but next time I will only be doing my roots so I should get multiple uses out of the jar, even undiluted.

    - I will get a good deep conditioner and a good wide toothed comb because I don't think my brush is gentle enough for my newly processed (and therefore weakened) hair. I will use them both regularly. :look:

    - Once I restore my moisture levels, I will watch for irregular breakage and see if I need to introduce protein. Then once I figure that situation out, I'll straighten my hair at some point to get a good hair cut before I start protective styling. I think I'll do braids under wigs if I can get my hair flat enough.

    Wish me luck detangling this mess soon please. I think I might have made detangling easier with this last corrective, but ion know. I also don't know if my hair will just break off once the comb touches it. I've been trying to get my moisture up before I start raking it but no amount of glycerin is helping. RIP.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  6. Prisangela

    Prisangela Well-Known Member

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    @FadingDelilah I do this minus adding oil to the relaxer, I use Lye
     
  7. Prisangela

    Prisangela Well-Known Member

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    We are all here for you and on this ride with you

    My fav shampoo post relaxer is ORS professional neutralizing shampoo, its basically a neutralizing version of the creamy aloe and its huge


    I also used to use Mizhani Butter blends balanced hair bath but can't find Mizani products anywhere (Canada) these days


    you may need to stick with a shampoo thats creamy looking verses clear. That isoplus shampoo is basically a clarifying shampoo from the sounds of it

    Deep Conditioner

    elasta QP DPR 11 and their Soy oyl conditioners are amazing intensive DC's. please use these with heat.


    I also second what @MzSwift posted earlier; wait till your next touch after attempting rehab before doing anything drastic
     
  8. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    I wanted to try it because I'm lazy but in the end I'm not brave enough. Lol. I kept imagining getting a serious degree burn all over my head. *clutches vaseline*
     
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  9. Prisangela

    Prisangela Well-Known Member

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    @FadingDelilah I hear you. I've been a self relaxer for over 15 years now which is why I dont.

    I also forgot to add in terms of vinger as a neutralizing step. When I did go to the salon for my relaxers, my stylist at the time would just pour undiluted white vinegar on the areas that were starting to burn which would allow the parts that still needed to process time. I still do that to this day. I pour vinger on and let it sit for 15 secs before rinsing. Also try to rinse your hair as much as possible before adding shampoo, I usually wait until I see no white suds/particles; I only need to shampoo twice this way

    HTH!
     
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  10. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    Good ideas!!! @Prisangela I kind of did that rinsing technique this time but not that thoroughly. Will focus on doing it longer next time. And I appreciate the product recommendations!!! Thanks, things are starting to get brighter :D
     
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  11. Wenbev

    Wenbev Well-Known Member

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    There are some things I do not buy on amazon. Maybe its old and the active ingredients have expired and that's why you keep seeing pink idk. I like silk elements olive neutralizing shampoo and its color coded and lasts forever. I know I've had it at least a year, its the 1 liter size. bought it at Sallys.
    :lachen::lachen::lachen: I'm trying girl!
    I would do a 1:3 ratio for ACV. so lets say you use 1/4cup ACV, then use 3/4c water. Slowly rinse your hair and scalp and don't rinse immediately, give it a bit to soak in.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  12. Wenbev

    Wenbev Well-Known Member

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    I love that advice! My scalp burning was one of the reasons I turned to self-relaxing and no lye.
     
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  13. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Yay, I'm happy things are looking up!! I love the plan. And I totally understand feeling like you should know better. It's true, you know your hair better than any of us. We can provide suggestions but you're the only one who knows what your normal/healthy hair feels and acts like.

    @Prisangela gave some really good advice and product recommendations! And I 2nd her advice to always DC w heat. So funny bc the only other neutralizing poo that I liked was ORS Olive oil Creamy Aloe. That's available everywhere (grocery stores, Walmart/Target, online) and not super expensive. Back when I used it the ladies said it was a neutralizer and chelator. Thanks for the clarification.

    Speaking of more expensive poo, I just don't usually do expensive products. I believe technique is more important. Almost every time I try out an expensive product, I'm disappointed that it's usually not as good as my cheap stuff or self-mixed stuff.

    Having said that... Unless you're in a humid climate, glycerin may not be a good moisturizer if you're not sealing it in with something heavy. Some ppl seal with grease, vaseline or a butter (shea, mango, etc). Back in the day, the long haired relaxed ladies who were "juicing" usually sprayed the s-curl and then bunned or something that, to me, helped insulate the moisture. I could see that working. I personally can't do glycerin as a moisturizer at all but it (and other humectants) are very moisturizing when mixed into a DC.

    Here's what I've been using as my daily moisturizing combo since 2009: water, condish, oil. Water, Suave Tropical Coconut and EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. That's it! This combo has never failed me and does not break the bank.

    I put those three items in a spray bottle to make my daily moisturizing spray. When I M&S I spray my hair until damp and then seal it in with EVOO and/or Grapeseed oil. Sometimes my mix is mostly water and sometimes it's thicker, about 50/50, but always no more than 10% oil. I do like to add essential oils for scent, my go to is Sweet Orange Oil.

    Sometimes to M&S, I rub in the the Suave straight and then just massage in oil to seal and then cover my head. Suave is usually about $1-3.

    For a moisturizing DC, cheap old Queen Helene Cholesterol is my staple. I keep tubs of it under the counter. I add things to either make more moisturizing (salt, EVOO, Hibiscus) or strengthening (plain full fat yogurt, ayurveda powders or amino acid w baking soda) depending on what type of conditioning my hair needs. But it's my understanding that just using it alone on a regular basis is good as it is supposed to be moisturizing. It's usually about $2-3. And grocery bags make really good conditioning caps!

    The other ladies can probably suggest good product lines to try if that's better for you.

    I just wanna make sure that you're actually getting moisture into your hair. That way you can get to a point where you can put it away for a little bit to let it rest. Or even just do biweekly wash, DC, blowouts.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  14. PlanetCybertron

    PlanetCybertron Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely very possible! I’ll be honest, your mileage may vary depending on your practices, and what you pay attention to the most concerning your haircare, but there’s a bit of a threshold concerning how much you process. For every time you process more than “normal”, i would just suggest doubling the time you cut down on doing any extra manipulation. By that I mean, aside from brief detangling, make it a goal to just leave your hair alone.


    I’ll admit, I am a bone straight relaxed haired gal. Biggest thing I can say, for me personally, is that, it’s best to either be textured, or mostly bone straight. Of course it’s not gonna be perfect, but at least the majority of your hair will stand a greater chance of breaking at any demarcation lines.

    Best of luck! I wish you strength in getting through these obstacles. You’re always welcome to ask me anything! These lovely ladies in here are also always so well informed and kind. But, we all knew that lol.
     
  15. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    I love this because I'm trying to save up for a house and I try my best to save. I've only had bad experiences with cheap products (I think because I only ever buy cheap - lol) so I thought I needed to spend more to get more but I will def be getting that queen Helene and the ors neutralizer since I can find them on the ground. Plus,there was a woman who used the queen helene all the time on her natural hair and she's hip length. Sooooo many good recommendations in this post alone. I love your advice on how to m&s and change up your conditioner to a protein treatment. Genius way to avoid buying more products and get things done right when you need it. I never heard of using yogurt :eek: my cheap aspirations are blooming big time. Then I can eat the rest :look::lachen:I have a lot to work with now when I head to the store. Thanks sis :D
     
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  16. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Y'all I got sucked into the natural-to-relaxed videos. LOL, smh





     
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  17. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    Good advice on reducing manipulation. @PlanetCybertron I want to wear my hair out but I know I have to get it healthier. Will see to it that I protective style a lot. And I will definitely reach out if I have any questions. Thanks so much for the encouragement :D this is honestly the best thread to me.
     
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  18. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Yay, sista Planet @PlanetCybertron came out of lurkdom! Heeeyyy! [​IMG] I hope school is going well, I know how time and energy consuming that can be.

    Girl yes, yogurt is the protein business! Just make sure it's full fat, lowfat doesn't have the same effect.

    GL to you getting your house! My best friend just bought her first house last month! You will do it too!! :)
     
  19. FadingDelilah

    FadingDelilah Well-Known Member

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    Okay, I will. And thanks!!!
     
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  20. abioni

    abioni Well-Known Member

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    Ladies, where and how do you wash your relaxer out? I currently wash it out bending over my bathtub but I worry about the long term effects of the relaxer water getting into my eyes. I'm considering washing it out in the shower but I worry about the relaxer water getting all over my body.
     
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  21. MzSwift

    MzSwift Texlaxed, Fine

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    Kitchen sink. I tilt my head downward by tucking my chin closer to my neck so that the water runs down that way and not into to my eyes. Hope that makes sense.

    I have been thinking about using the tub though. I think the extra force of the water will help rinse out the relaxer better.
     
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  22. PlanetCybertron

    PlanetCybertron Well-Known Member

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    Hey! I try to be on as much as I’d like, but you know how that goes lol.

    school is going fairly well. I appreciate the encouragement!!!
     
  23. Prisangela

    Prisangela Well-Known Member

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    I second the cholesterol treatments, I used to use Le Klair but can't find them anywhere. I need to get back to that and Rollersetting
     
  24. Prisangela

    Prisangela Well-Known Member

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    @abioni my kitchen faucet has a pullout spray function best thing ever, I'm getting too old to be bent over at the tub
     
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  25. PlanetCybertron

    PlanetCybertron Well-Known Member

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    your concerns for your eyes and body are valid, but there’s a caveat. As soon as the active components in a relaxer neutralize (from you washing it out, and when water first comes into contact with it, you’re left with water and an alkaline salt.

    there’s a lot of studies suggesting relaxers cause a lot of issues with female reproductive system, however these studies are often lacking in sound evidence, and proper correlation. Not to mention almost all of these studies fail to take into account diet, health, underlying health issues due to genetics, environment, etc.

    Relaxers, while caustic in nature, are more likely to effect things such as the lymphatic system, Or the integumentary system. Point being, contact dermatitis, and eye irritation should be as far as you go concerning your concern about washing the relaxer out of your hair. Your body is amazing at regulating things it comes into contact with. Something like the by products of a relaxer after washing it are well within normal bounds of what it can handle. If that eases your mind at all.

    Aside from that whole spiel, I wash my relaxer out in the shower. And since I have eczema, I also wash my body with the neutralizing shampoo just to get the remaining deposits from the relaxer off of my body so my skin isn’t dry as heck.
     
  26. Royalq

    Royalq Well-Known Member

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    What causes middle breakage that creates a sort of W shape instead of soft U shape? I used to thing it was splitting my hair down the middle too often but my hair has been in sew ins and braids since June. How do I fix that?
     
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  27. ItsMeLilLucky

    ItsMeLilLucky Aka Giveme D’Monee

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    I love these videos :lachen:
     
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  28. KhandiB

    KhandiB Well-Known Member

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    Hi! I havent been around in a while, so Hey!!

    I haven't had a relaxer since July of last year. I'm not transitioning on purpose, lol. My last few relaxers have been about 6 months post each , just because I get so disappointed in these hair dressers.

    I decided a couple of years ago not to relax my own hair anymore, because I thought I was jacking it up, lol. But my last few experiences have been so subpar, I figured, I will start doing it again myself, and not pay between $120 and $200 to get my hair relaxed and styled, lol. The last stylist used a motions on my head, I mean comeon, lol!!

    When I get this far post, my hair becomes unruly and starts looking like a jellyfish, lol. I get frustrated and almost take some scissors to my head.

    I am having bad issues, my hair is soooooooooo dry. It seems like it doesn't matter what I do. My hair is bone dry by time I am out of the shower. All the conditioners I use feel like there is just a layer of product left on my hair. Its driving me crazy.

    I'm in such a dilemma , ahah. I want to chop it off
     
  29. ItsMeLilLucky

    ItsMeLilLucky Aka Giveme D’Monee

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    @KhandiB I am so sorry you’re having these hair problems. You think it could be a porosity issue?
     
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  30. PlanetCybertron

    PlanetCybertron Well-Known Member

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    I find personally that it’s caused by the positioning.

    If you follow your hair up to the spot where it’s growing out of your scalp, it makes sense. That are generally will hold the bulk of any bun style, and generally speaking if you sleep on your back, that part of your head is always undergoing some sort of exposure to pressure and friction.

    you also can’t really see that area well either. And brushing and combing that section, is different that the front and sides of your hair. Concerning the angle at which you have to get at that area.

    I would also say depending on your hair type, that area can be more susceptible to breakage.
     
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