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Rude Male Coworker's suggestion...

HAIRapy

SuperDuper Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:
 

ChocalateDiva

Well-Known Member
Please dont allow this man to piss u off any further. People have different ideas about what is attracive and what is not attractive. He has a right to his opinion. Some people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut, in regard to situations that dont concern them.

I hope that the rest of your day is better.
 

SignatureBeauty

New Member
I thought he said something really rude, It seems he was just making an innoccent suggestion. Alot of people offer Unsolicited advice, just keep moving.
 

OrangeMoon

Well-Known Member
Ignore him and if he says anything else tell him "On your next hair cut get JERK cut into the back of your head."
 

mrsjohnson75

Well-Known Member
I had a male coworker make a comment about my hair one day...I just told him "I'm going to need you to get some business". I haven't heard anything else from him. :)
 

PuffyBrown

Active Member
people like that are opening the door.....when that happens to me I carefully point out one of their flaws and incorporate that as part of the conversation.


Example: Well I havent really thought about making my hair even good idea....I see that your teeth are stained, do you drink a lot of coffee, my dentist say that that the most common cause of stained teeth next to smoking...(said smiling and gossiping like they was part of the conversation)

Hope I am not wrong for that but it does make people keep their nose where it belongs....call me mean then....
 

aloof one

New Member
I came in here angry lol.

But now I don't think it was that crucial. First, he was a guy, they are real ignorant when it comes to hair. Second, he was really just giving what he thought was a friendly suggestion. That fool probably didn't even know he hurt your feelings, so just take it in stride and forget the whole thing--- it could have been worse.
 

kittenz

Well-Known Member
:confused: I don't think that was rude. It's no different than if a girl or one of us had said "Girl, why don't you get layers and side swooping bangs." It would be out opinion of what would look nice on you. It's totally different from saying "Girl, why don't you comb that ish." Don't let him upset you.

And this is OT but... what does them being black have to do with it?
 

angellazette

New Member
I don't think he was rude...it was unsolicitated but I wouldn't call it rude. It just seems like a suggestion a girlfriend or member here would make...maybe he frequents the forum :grin: I kid...
 

HAIRapy

SuperDuper Member
:confused: I don't think that was rude. It's no different than if a girl or one of us had said "Girl, why don't you get layers and side swooping bangs." It would be out opinion of what would look nice on you. It's totally different from saying "Girl, why don't you comb that ish." Don't let him upset you.

And this is OT but... what does them being black have to do with it?

Just so that everyone knows that there was nothing racial or anything to it. I've seen other people rant on subjects and people have asked what race the others involved were, so I figured I'd just add it. It really has nothing to do with the issue though. Thanks everyone for your help with this. It's really nothing though... maybe I'm just PMSing- it did bother me for a second. I even got a little chuckle about it alittle later because I was thinking: I can cut it if I want (which I don't want to) and also grow it back, but he's balding :lachen:
 

Dayjoy

Old School Member
He's probably fantasizing about you and his fantasy hairstyle completes his mental picture.:spinning:
 

ShiShiPooPoo

Well-Known Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:


You should have said, "Why don't you go cut your tongue out and throw it in the river?"
 

glamazon386

Well-Known Member
I don't see what the big deal is. Or why the OP is upset. It was just a suggestion. It's not like he said you need to perm your nappy head. :confused:
 

HoneyDew

Well-Known Member
I don't think it was rude. I think you were expecting compliments. Maybe this was his way of giving youone. Maybe he thought your hair would look good in that style - maybe it is one that he likes on a woman.
 

pazyamor

New Member
The Oakland in me wants to say: you replied to him, "why don't shut your damn mouth?"

But the educated woman in me is saying, just make a "n-word please" face at him, curtly thank him for his "advice", and keep it pushing...add a little hair swish while your walking away.
 

LaShanne

New Member
He's probably fantasizing about you and his fantasy hairstyle completes his mental picture.:spinning:

Yeah, maybe that was his lame attempt at trying to flirt with you. Is he single? cute? :grin: ...but I dont think he was rude, though
 

kittenz

Well-Known Member
Just so that everyone knows that there was nothing racial or anything to it. I've seen other people rant on subjects and people have asked what race the others involved were, so I figured I'd just add it. It really has nothing to do with the issue though. Thanks everyone for your help with this. It's really nothing though... maybe I'm just PMSing- it did bother me for a second. I even got a little chuckle about it alittle later because I was thinking: I can cut it if I want (which I don't want to) and also grow it back, but he's balding :lachen:

:lachen:Yeah I'm pretty sure you would have been asked if you hadn't included it. Anyway,glad you're feeling better.
 

AvaSpeaks

New Member
I came in here angry lol.

But now I don't think it was that crucial. First, he was a guy, they are real ignorant when it comes to hair. Second, he was really just giving what he thought was a friendly suggestion. That fool probably didn't even know he hurt your feelings, so just take it in stride and forget the whole thing--- it could have been worse.

Yeah he didn't say anything rude. It's just like if somebody says to you in a lunch line at Cosi, "hey why don't you get the Grilled Chicken Sandwich instead of the Turkey?"

:rolleyes:
 

HAIRapy

SuperDuper Member
The Oakland in me wants to say: you replied to him, "why don't shut your damn mouth?"

But the educated woman in me is saying, just make a "n-word please" face at him, curtly thank him for his "advice", and keep it pushing...add a little hair swish while your walking away.

:lachen::grin::lachen::grin: That was funny!


HoneyDew, I never expect compliments. I felt good because I liked my hair, not because others might like it. IMO, that was not a compliment at all, but it's all good -maybe I'm just alittle sensitive today. BUT, I'm over it now...:yep:
 

HAIRapy

SuperDuper Member
I came in here angry lol.

But now I don't think it was that crucial. First, he was a guy, they are real ignorant when it comes to hair. Second, he was really just giving what he thought was a friendly suggestion. That fool probably didn't even know he hurt your feelings, so just take it in stride and forget the whole thing--- it could have been worse.

I'm over here cracking up at picturing you clicking real fast on this thread like "Who did it girl?!?!?!":grin: You're right, it could've been worse *giggling*
 

HAIRapy

SuperDuper Member
Yeah, maybe that was his lame attempt at trying to flirt with you. Is he single? cute? :grin: ...but I dont think he was rude, though

Maybe... single, yes. Cute? If you think Martin L. King is cute... then yeah, he's a hunk! :lachen:
 

SleepyJean

Well-Known Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:

I don't think he meant harm. He did give unsolicited advice, but some people just talk too much. I don't believe he was intentioally trying to piss you off, though. I have to deal with rude people like that on a daily basis (especially from girls), but this is high school. Unfortuantely, from what I've been told, the work place is similar.
 

SleepyJean

Well-Known Member
I came in here angry lol.

But now I don't think it was that crucial. First, he was a guy, they are real ignorant when it comes to hair. Second, he was really just giving what he thought was a friendly suggestion. That fool probably didn't even know he hurt your feelings, so just take it in stride and forget the whole thing--- it could have been worse.

ITA! Men really don't know!
 

SexySin985

Well-Known Member
I don't see what the big deal is. Or why the OP is upset. It was just a suggestion. It's not like he said you need to perm your nappy head. :confused:

I totally agree:yep:

I don't see how he was being rude:perplexed:look::perplexed:look: But either way I hope the OP is feeling better:yep:
 

ravenmerlita

New Member
He's probably fantasizing about you and his fantasy hairstyle completes his mental picture.:spinning:

This is exactly what I thought -- that he's got some fantasy in mind.

Of course, none of us was there so we don't know the tone. But it sounds like when those two people saw you, your hair was looking really good and they were making attempts at compliments. We've had a lot of posts on the board where members have seen someone with hair they liked but struggled with what to say or when they have said something felt the words weren't quite right.

BTW, I've always wanted to have "heavier" hair because my hair is fly-away and doesn't really stay in a style well. After reading your post, I'll be careful with using that word because I wouldn't want someone to interpret it as an insult when I meant it as a compliment.
 
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