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Rude Male Coworker's suggestion...

gone_fishing

New Member
:confused: I don't think that was rude. It's no different than if a girl or one of us had said "Girl, why don't you get layers and side swooping bangs." It would be out opinion of what would look nice on you. It's totally different from saying "Girl, why don't you comb that ish." Don't let him upset you.

And this is OT but... what does them being black have to do with it?

He was just giving advice to HER the same way he would have given advice to a male.

Males just communicate differently.

I've seen it and I'm STILL intrigued by the way they talk to each other with no finesse or tact whatsoever. :perplexed
 

MrsBurns82

New Member
I know how you feel. I wrote a check the other day after my first shot at bantu knots and had to show my drivers license (which happens to be the best I've ever taken.:grin:) and the guy doing the transaction held my license to my face and said your hair looks better straight. I said Gee thanks, I'll be sure to change it soon as I get home. He apologized and said that he didn't mean to be rude but I thought that was pretty rude.:wallbash:
 

balisi

New Member
I don't think he said anything to get upset about. It seems to me that he felt comfortable enough to let you know that your hair would look best the way he suggested. I'm sure he thought your hair already looked cute, but with the even cut and a side part, it would look HOT!
 

fluffylocks

New Member
If i were you, i would have asked him more about it. My feelings have been hurt a couple of times by people offering me suggestions when i thought i looked my best, but when you question them alot of times they are suggesting images that they love, and would like to see on you because they think you are pretty already. If you looked like a donkey's @ss to that dude, im sure he wouldnt even had suggested anything. Or if he said "you really need to part your hair to the side:ohwell:" that probally would have been different.
Also, alot of men dont know anything about what looks cute, so for him to try and say something he could have also just been trying to be in the conversation with some expertise he thought he had.
 

Southernbella.

Well-Known Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:

Why does it matter that she hates her hair because it's nappy and that he's straight? :lachen:

I don't think his comments were rude.
 

SleepyJean

Well-Known Member
I know how you feel. I wrote a check the other day after my first shot at bantu knots and had to show my drivers license (which happens to be the best I've ever taken.:grin:) and the guy doing the transaction held my license to my face and said your hair looks better straight. I said Gee thanks, I'll be sure to change it soon as I get home. He apologized and said that he didn't mean to be rude but I thought that was pretty rude.:wallbash:

That was extremely rude.
 

january noir

Sunny On a Cloudy Day
people like that are opening the door.....when that happens to me I carefully point out one of their flaws and incorporate that as part of the conversation.


Example: Well I havent really thought about making my hair even good idea....I see that your teeth are stained, do you drink a lot of coffee, my dentist say that that the most common cause of stained teeth next to smoking...(said smiling and gossiping like they was part of the conversation)

Hope I am not wrong for that but it does make people keep their nose where it belongs....call me mean then....


Good advice! I'll have to remember to do this! :grin:
 

Ms_Delikate

Well-Known Member
I know how you feel. I wrote a check the other day after my first shot at bantu knots and had to show my drivers license (which happens to be the best I've ever taken.:grin:) and the guy doing the transaction held my license to my face and said your hair looks better straight. I said Gee thanks, I'll be sure to change it soon as I get home. He apologized and said that he didn't mean to be rude but I thought that was pretty rude.:wallbash:

This cracked me up...I like how you handled it:lachen::yep:
 

brooklyngal73

SteelyDan/DonaldFagenFan!
Exactly... :)

I came in here angry lol.

But now I don't think it was that crucial. First, he was a guy, they are real ignorant when it comes to hair. Second, he was really just giving what he thought was a friendly suggestion. That fool probably didn't even know he hurt your feelings, so just take it in stride and forget the whole thing--- it could have been worse.
 

Gryphyn

Active Member
I guess it's one of those things where it depends on how exactly it was said, but reading it I didn't feel like it was a rude comment. I'm not sure how he would expect you to answer it though. You should have asked him why he doesn't cut his hair even all around and part it down the side. :lachen:
 

*Muffin*

New Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:

:lachen:That's what I'm talking about. My friend and I have a saying like that when guys try to tell us what to do. The nerve of him to put his two-cents in like that. People seriously need to keep their negative opinions to themselves.
 

DivaRox

New Member
I guess it's one of those things where it depends on how exactly it was said, but reading it I didn't feel like it was a rude comment. I'm not sure how he would expect you to answer it though. You should have asked him why he doesn't cut his hair even all around and part it down the side. :lachen:


:rofl::thumbsup: Yup, she should've said: You first:rofl:
 

chicacanella

New Member
Okay, so I washed my hair and conditioned it yesterday. I got up this morning and flat ironed my hair w/ my Chi iron. I was feeling good because the wind was all blowing through my hair and stuff right? So I get to work and a female (a Black woman) co-worker says how she loves my hair because I have healthy, shiney, "heavy hair" whatever that means, but it's a good thing in her book. She has naturally curly hair and hates her texture because it won't stay straight. My hair was kinda done by the wind because I never combed it back into the way I curled it. I also a permanent part in the middle of my head, so my natural part came out. So the guy's (Black and straight) standing there and says, "Why don't you cut your hair even all around and part it on the side" Isn't that rude?? I hate unsolicited advice. I don't roll over to that man at night, so what gives him the right to say that to me?? I am so pissed to say the least.:sad:


I guess he never heard of layers before. I would mind a blunt cut once I reach my goal length just to try it out, but I am more of a layers girl myself.
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
people like that are opening the door.....when that happens to me I carefully point out one of their flaws and incorporate that as part of the conversation.


Example: Well I havent really thought about making my hair even good idea....I see that your teeth are stained, do you drink a lot of coffee, my dentist say that that the most common cause of stained teeth next to smoking...(said smiling and gossiping like they was part of the conversation)

Hope I am not wrong for that but it does make people keep their nose where it belongs....call me mean then....

OMG-Too funny!!:lachen::lachen: I know they never come out their mouths with any kind of comments after you sock it to 'em!
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
I know how you feel. I wrote a check the other day after my first shot at bantu knots and had to show my drivers license (which happens to be the best I've ever taken.:grin:) and the guy doing the transaction held my license to my face and said your hair looks better straight. I said Gee thanks, I'll be sure to change it soon as I get home. He apologized and said that he didn't mean to be rude but I thought that was pretty rude.:wallbash:

Now this was incredibly rude.:nono:

People like that though usually have no clue that what they are saying is rude so it's good that you called him on it right then. He will think twice the next time.
 
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