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Safe Sex?

CoilyFields

Well-Known Member
Hey Ladies,

I coudnt do a google search to see if this had already been posted in the Christian forum so forgive me if its a repeat.

Do you believe that Christians should support safe sex (condoms, birth control etc.) ?

I work with a lot of teens and preteens and most people are into giving them condoms and BC. They say that teens arent going to abstain so you might as well make sure theyre protected.

What are your thoughts on the matter from a Christian perspective?

Do you believe it is contradictory to teach abstainance and promote protection?

Does is matter if its YOUR child or someone elses (meaning I will not give my child BC/condoms but if I work with teens I would choose to give it to them)?

Is age a factor?

Do you think schools should pass these out?

What have your experiences been?
 

HeChangedMyName

Well-Known Member
I'm so torn on the issue. Personally I would love to teach my kids abstainance and have them actually follow through with it. But I know that as a parent I can't be with my kids 24/7 and no other parent, teacher, or counselor can either. It is for that reason that I think it is ok to make condoms available.

We have to remember that children are humans too and just like we get off the path that God has for us as adults, they get off the path that we want them to stay on.

God ALWAYS makes a way for us to get back on track, he gives us ways out, security nets, things that we don't even realize are just His covering and blessing that keep us from totally screwing up. When we turn to Him he is always ther, so I don't see a problem with being supportive(but without condoning sex) to our youth.
I also think that more youth need to know the full truth about sex. just telling them that it is for married people isn't sufficient for their little curious minds.

They need to understand, not only the dangers about diseases and risk for unplanned pregnancies, but they need to understand the spiritual aspects of sinning and how one door opens another and how it may start with sex and turn horribly bad.

How sex might feel good, BUT that it is only temporary. How people lie to get sex and cheat, etc. Teach them the value of their sexuality as God ordained for it to be.

I wish someone would have been bold enough to tell me the truth.
 

CoilyFields

Well-Known Member
I'm so torn on the issue. Personally I would love to teach my kids abstainance and have them actually follow through with it. But I know that as a parent I can't be with my kids 24/7 and no other parent, teacher, or counselor can either. It is for that reason that I think it is ok to make condoms available.

We have to remember that children are humans too and just like we get off the path that God has for us as adults, they get off the path that we want them to stay on.

God ALWAYS makes a way for us to get back on track, he gives us ways out, security nets, things that we don't even realize are just His covering and blessing that keep us from totally screwing up. When we turn to Him he is always ther, so I don't see a problem with being supportive(but without condoning sex) to our youth.
I also think that more youth need to know the full truth about sex. just telling them that it is for married people isn't sufficient for their little curious minds.

They need to understand, not only the dangers about diseases and risk for unplanned pregnancies, but they need to understand the spiritual aspects of sinning and how one door opens another and how it may start with sex and turn horribly bad.

How sex might feel good, BUT that it is only temporary. How people lie to get sex and cheat, etc. Teach them the value of their sexuality as God ordained for it to be.

I wish someone would have been bold enough to tell me the truth.


I totally understand what you mean about being torn because we all fall. But with sex its complicated because its like the only sin I can think of that we plan for in that way. Like, when we tell our children not to steal...we dont then teach them how to avoid security camaras and safely remove ink tags just in case they do steal so they wont get caught.

And I definately agree that abstainace has many more pros than just not getting pregnant or Stds. No one ever really talks about the emotional side of sex.
 

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
Hi, Coily,

Interesting topics and here are my answers....
Do you believe that Christians should support safe sex (condoms, birth control etc.) ?
By this I take it you're asking if churches should promote it and provide condoms, etc. and teach classes? I personally don't believe they should.

I work with a lot of teens and preteens and most people are into giving them condoms and BC. They say that teens arent going to abstain so you might as well make sure theyre protected.
Well, if the acceptance from any group of people or church is that teens AREN'T going to abstain, any effort to promote abstinence is moot. I believe that focusing on the Word would benefit best..renew the mind/soul, the body will follow, since God works on us from the inside/out.

What are your thoughts on the matter from a Christian perspective?
I believe Sex was created for marriage, period. 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex outside of marriage under sexual immorality.

Do you believe it is contradictory to teach abstainance and promote protection?
YES...

Does is matter if its YOUR child or someone elses (meaning I will not give my child BC/condoms but if I work with teens I would choose to give it to them)?
I would rather promote the Word of God to my teen and focus on what he should do that would please God, rather than what he shouldn't do...he gets enough of all that outside our home. Likewise, with promoting abstinence instead of safe sex. If one is more focused on the former, the latter fades in comparison and won't even apply. To promote safe sex IMHO, is like telling a kid, well if you DO sin, at least sin safely... ??

Is age a factor?
I don't see how it should be, for those who promote it...would it really matter? Now, if your question is about 'safe sex' within a marriage..that's another story..


Do you think schools should pass these out?
I believe promotion of safe sex in schools sends the message that sex without commitment (marriage) is OK and that's a worldly perspective. They don't pass out Bibles in schools, do they?

What have your experiences been?
I was a virgin until age 21, then had sex and all hell (literally) broke loose after that. I got "sprung" on guys that couldn't care to commit. My self esteem (which I had growing up in church) was shot and I did all I could to please guys, confusing Lust with Love. I created ungodly soul ties that estranged me from God, and like the Prodigal son, I wallowed in selfishness.... but all that was the culmination of falling out of fellowship with God. I'd stopped going church, stopped "believing" and felt I was free to do what I wanted. Lust is a big deceiver...

In John 10:10 , Jesus said: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

I believe the devil uses sex outside of marriage to steal (virginity, good health, etc), kill (deadly diseases, crimes of passion) and destroy (ruin marriages, relationships, etc.)

Why would Christians promote this?

When you think about it, God created our organs (male/female) as a lock and key. They fit perfectly...I've come to believe that sex has a spiritual purpose, to meld the two beings into one, and this is God's Plan. When sex occurs with no commitment (marriage), partners lose part of themselves to that other person..because it's supposed to be a permanent connection. And if they keep replicating this with other people, parts of themselves are all over the place, SCATTERED.

Christians youths need to be taught this.

Satan's goal is to scatter...

In Matthew 12:30, Jesus says:
"Whoever isn't with me is against me. Whoever doesn't gather with me scatters."

The better armed /grounded in the Word a young person is, the less likely any kind of promotion is necessary to keep them from doing what God instructs us not to do in the first place. The seed would have already been sown in their hearts... through fellowship with God. Where their minds go, their bodies will follow.
 
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Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
oh, and I'll add that other Scripture:

Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Even though I'd strayed as a youth, that seed had been planted and God's Word always convicted me. It's a terrible place to be in one's spirit, to live in rebellion. My spirit was never settled or at peace until I rededicated my life back to God.
 

aribell

formerly nicola.kirwan
I understand the dilemma. Regarding teenagers especially, though, I don't think it is good to encourage them to practice "safe sex." I went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school, and we had abstinence messages preached up and down, up and down. But what people don't necessarily know is that abstinence programs teach abstinence by telling students exactly how stds work, exactly how you can get pregnant, and exactly how different forms of birth control and protection do and do not work. Only after all the information is presented, the conclusion is that there is no such thing as "safe sex." It's not really as physically safe as everyone claims (condoms break, people get caught up in the heat of the moment, some stds a condom won't protect against, etc), and it certainly is not emotionally or spiritually safe. Honestly, I knew so much about condoms, birth control, and stds by the end of my education that I was like "If I hear one more thing about the incidence of HPV in the general population...!"

All that to say that teaching abstinence does not mean teaching ignorance as people assume. The truth is on our side. There is no "safe sex." It's a deception.

Also, I really think that it's not a good thing to assume that teens are incapable of controlling themselves. They are, if they are taught to do so. Even non-religious people like Michael Baisden have teens on the show to congratulate them for being virgins and remaining abstinent. Teaching kids that we aren't even going to bother to tell them to control themselves is basically telling them that they can't, and thus they fulfill that low expectation.
 
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Prudent1

Well-Known Member
I totally understand what you mean about being torn because we all fall. But with sex its complicated because its like the only sin I can think of that we plan for in that way. Like, when we tell our children not to steal...we dont then teach them how to avoid security camaras and safely remove ink tags just in case they do steal so they wont get caught.

And I definately agree that abstainace has many more pros than just not getting pregnant or Stds. No one ever really talks about the emotional side of sex.

Great questions! I have already expressed my views via the thanks button. I will say that there is no such thing as accidental sex. It is planned. Even under such vile circumstances as rape or incest. The offender thought about it and acted it out on the victim-so it still was not an accident. Sex was never meant to be unsafe. Safe sex is a numbers game. Rush and roulette with your body, your mind, your spirit, your offspring. It's just a matter of time before something goes wrong. When it does, it is not a little wrong. The ramifications...:nono:

I have shared with you all before, I was a teen mom, I have some true stories that would horrify and amuse for days. I eventually realized the deception that was in play. The whole rah-rah women power, open minded, blah blah mess. :spinning: Once I deliberately started to remember where and how I got my beliefs from. Started to look at their lives and see how they were teaching but didn't have any real success/ happiness themselves. Why would I continue to embrace their ideas? They were wrong. I asked God to help me KNOW the truth and change my way of thinking. I'm still in that process.

You are only responsible for what you do. All ppl have a free will and can do what ever they want to do. Good or bad. My oldest DD (as I shared in previous posts) is now a single mom. She knew. I sleep well b/c I know I told her what I didn't get told. However, I failed to live before her a life consistent with what I was telling her. :sad: I will answer to God for that one day. :wallbash: She struggles now in the typical ways of single parenthood. Thank God she hasn't had any real paternal side drama! My other DD#2 chose to listen even with the less than perfect example I set. I would still teach them the same things.

What kid in America doesn't know that condoms etc are available? They have sex w/o them anyway for multiple reasons. The problem isn't about them not having easy access or knowledge about BC in most cases.:nono: The same kids end up back at the clinics over and over again. They lack the same long term vision as their adult counter-parts and 'go with the moment'. Then they have to pick up the pieces.

People, old, young, whatever, do what they want to do right or wrong b/c they have free wills. We need to stop making excuses/ concessions for bad behavior.
 
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