Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
Excellent viewpoint!
Sex and the Christian Single
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pearlygurl
Well-Known Member
IMO I think the word dating gets a bad rap.
Bunny77
New Member
Which is why I believe that churches/church members need to take a more active role in facilitating the courtship process among single believers.
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
I do get a chance to see many churches who are taking active roles to help facilitate different groups/ministries for single believers. Dh and I both teach married couples but also we work with those who are looking forward to being married. It's a dynamic ministry which keeps us on our toes
I thank the Lord for the ministries that do this though. Not too many ministries do.
It's okay BeyondBlessed and I still confess that your blessings are far above and beyond you could ever ask or think. I apologize for any misunderstandings. The moment I read the post that impuned and diparaged the integrity of our Christianity Forum by stating it was like Jerry Springer, that's when I saw this thread as a 'set-up'. My discourse is not about the discussion or the 'said' need for it, but that it wasn't being respected as a discussion among Christians, but as the degrading and low standards and impurity of sex that Jerry Springer has made millions upon.
I realized with that comment of disrepect for our Christianity Formum, that this thread was a 'spectator vehicle' to see just who "Christian' would check off what on the poll and who would defend what Christians know to be non-permissive.
To 'you' I apologize and only to those who have a sincere struggle with this issue. My heart and prayers are with you and I do understand that it is a struggle, as you are human. But I do not apologize to those whose want a free pass to continue their agenda nor to those who do not respect our Christianity Forum and for Christians and our values in the Lord Jesus Christ.
You have the Victory in this. We all do and I can say for a certainity, that the rewards of Virtue are without regret. The pain to abstain have no comparison to the joy of the rewards for doing so. We are not of this world; we 'own' it.
To God be the Glory, forever and ever... Amen. :Rose:
honeyflaava
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]Excellent post Yodie! I agree with everything that you stated. Dating is not of God, but rather of this world. In addition to the “try ‘em and leave ‘em” mentality that you mentioned, dating also teaches people to practice marriage and divorce. The same emotions that a married couple experience during a divorce, are the very same emotions that people who date experience when a relationship ends. God hates divorce, and it is not His will for us to experience the heartache and damaged emotions that are associated with relationships and break ups. Plus nowhere in the Bible do we read about people dating or even see the terms 'boyfriend/girlfriend' which are also of this world. We only see courtship and the titles of husband and wife. IMO, Christians who understand God's purpose and plan for marriage will not date, they will court. And there is a huge difference in the two…[/FONT]
Bunny77
New Member
I do get a chance to see many churches who are taking active roles to help facilitate different groups/ministries for single believers. Dh and I both teach married couples but also we work with those who are looking forward to being married. It's a dynamic ministry which keeps us on our toes
I thank the Lord for the ministries that do this though. Not too many ministries do.
I think this is great!
I'm trying to find something like this... the ones I know do premarital counseling, which is good, but something even before you are involved in a relationship would be awesome. I'd love to see more of that. 
Regarding the post which said it wasn't wrong to lie down or sleep with clothes on...
Okay! Okay! Yeah... Okay! 
Trust me.... He (the man) has something movin'........ due South. Men operate like that and while lying there 'the woman' calls it cuddling. But HE's having huge fireworks going off in his brain and in his testoterone.
Men are wired like that. And although he may sincerely and truly have the 'intent' to do nothing... he's thinking about it Big Time! And he will move towards it just to see if it will happen. ESPECIALLY with clothes on.
And for those who do this, please don't try and say different. Because it's called 'playing the edge'. Let's see if we can do this, since we can't do that. But eventually, you either have or you will end up doing just 'that'.
It's called 'normal'; that's how you were made. You were made to be drawn to one another. However, if you're not married ...
"We've" been watching too many of Tyler Perry's love stories. I know I have and I love them. 
"Orlando, Orlando...... Ask me again. Ask me to marry you. Ask me again. I love you...."
:Selah: :Rose:
Okay!
Okay! Yeah... Okay! Trust me.... He (the man) has something movin'........ due South. Men operate like that and while lying there 'the woman' calls it cuddling. But HE's having huge fireworks going off in his brain and in his testoterone.
Men are wired like that. And although he may sincerely and truly have the 'intent' to do nothing... he's thinking about it
Big Time! And he will move towards it just to see if it will happen. ESPECIALLY with clothes on. And for those who do this, please don't try and say different. Because it's called 'playing the edge'. Let's see if we can do this, since we can't do that. But eventually, you either have or you will end up doing just 'that'.
It's called 'normal'; that's how you were made. You were made to be drawn to one another. However, if you're not married ...
"We've" been watching too many of Tyler Perry's love stories.
I know I have and I love them. "Orlando, Orlando...... Ask me again. Ask me to marry you. Ask me again. I love you...."
:Selah: :Rose:
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
..................
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Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
I love that part of the movie too!Regarding the post which said it wasn't wrong to lie down or sleep with clothes on...
Okay!
Trust me.... He (the man) has something movin'........ due South. Men operate like that and while lying there 'the woman' calls it cuddling. But HE's having huge fireworks going off in his brain and in his testoterone.
Men are wired like that. And although he may sincerely and truly have the 'intent' to do nothing... he's thinking about it
And for those who do this, please don't try and say different. Because it's called 'playing the edge'. Let's see if we can do this, since we can't do that. But eventually, you either have or you will end up doing just 'that'.
It's called 'normal'; that's how you were made. You were made to be drawn to one another. However, if you're not married ...
"We've" been watching too many of Tyler Perry's love stories.
"Orlando, Orlando...... Ask me again. Ask me to marry you. Ask me again. I love you...."
:Selah: :Rose:
One thing too is that since the man is known as the "giver" and the woman as the "receiver" it causes conflict when they are locked in a kiss or intertwined in an embrace, especially if laying down. It can happen to anyone
this is why we must be wise as serpents. Using wisdom will always keep you from making wrong decisions
I love that part of the movie too!
One thing too is that since the man is known as the "giver" and the woman as the "receiver" it causes conflict when they are locked in a kiss or intertwined in an embrace, especially if laying down. It can happen to anyone
Ummmmm Yeah!
Key Words: Lying means we are intertwined with lying to ourselves... Intertwined.... Okay! That's asking for it. . I KNOW this game! I played so good, I have my son as the grand prize.
Another excuse is this: "That's between them and God".
Ummm, no it isn't.
It's between him and her, because they're so tightly intertwined God can't get in edge-wised. These bodies become oblivious to God and everything else. It's flesh yielding to the flesh. We become magnets unto one another. It's gonna go further whether we admit it or not.
This is why God's word says, "It's better to 'marry' than to burn." It does say that, it really does.
Just caught another thought: But I'm not sure we're getting married.
Okay, then why intertwine with someone that one is not sure they are going to marry? Hmmmmmm. :scratchch:
We have too many 'excuses'; more than 'struggles' we have excuses for what 'we' want to do. I'll raise my hand and be the first to admit it about myself. I also have way too many excuses than I have struggles with anything in life.
The flesh wants what it wants...married or single. But the closer we are to God, the further we move away from what we want in our flesh and we don't lead ourselves into temptation. Least we 'intertwine'.
Make the man marry you instead. He will ...
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
Girl, I keep saying that I'm waiting on that book to come out.....Ummmmm Yeah!
I KNOW this game! I played so good, I have my son as the grand prize.
Another excuse is this: "That's between them and God".
Ummm, no it isn't.
It's between him and her, because they're so tightly intertwined God can't get in edge-wised. These bodies become oblivious to God and everything else. It's flesh yielding to the flesh. We become magnets unto one another. It's gonna go further whether we admit it or not.
This is why God's word says, "It's better to 'marry' than to burn." It does say that, it really does.
Just caught another thought: But I'm not sure we're getting married.
Okay, then why intertwine with someone that one is not sure they are going to marry? Hmmmmmm. :scratchch:
We have too many 'excuses'; more than 'struggles' we have excuses for what 'we' want to do. I'll raise my hand and be the first to admit it about myself. I also have way too many excuses than I have struggles with anything in life.
The flesh wants what it wants...married or single. But the closer we are to God, the further we move away from what we want in our flesh and we don't lead ourselves into temptation. Least we 'intertwine'.
Make the man marry you instead. He will ...
Pretty please?Have a wonderful sleep, sis!
chicacanella
New Member
Well, I'll say this first. Even if there were no posts...The Holy Spirit is able to give revelation about things even before they happen. He does this with me a lot. I don't choose the revelations but he tells me months and even years before they happen and it happens to a tee'. Sometimes, he gives me names of people and the names may even be different names, like Bonqueisha
but I will meet the people and talk to them. Sometimes, I forget that he's told me many months ago but he'll remind me of the revelation. It just happened the other day as he told me not to talk to my mom about something but I didn't listen, as many of us sometimes don't take the time to hear what The Holy Spirit is saying. Well, I did that yesterday and boy did I pay for it. The exact same thing he told me not to talk about I did.Okay, so this is the thing about this forum and God showed it to me in a dream. There is something, kind of like a force that drives certain people to come over and also directs the posts or the attitude of the forum. I say force but I mean something evil. As you can see in my post to Shimmie, I did not say that this was what was going on with this thread because I haven't really prayed on it and been given any revelations...if The Holy Spirit has to this specific thread...then God forgive me cause' I haven't been listening.
But anyhow, it's definitely something that makes this forum rise and recede.
Well, that's good...cause' what married couple wants to miss out on sex?
Okay, now what about pills? I see those ED commercials all the time.
Spirit on the forum...why couldn't it just be attributed to preference of discussion regarding a subject? Those other topics that get few responses...I can guarantee you...people have nothing to add but they are reading, praying, listening and learning in respect. We're kinda acting like sex is taboo. Sex is not dirty and to talk about the specifics in the way we have on here is not at all out of line. But then again, that "spirit" of puritanism still remains in this culture.
I just wish that accusations alluding to deceiver, satanist, non-christian infiltrator...whatever....would not fly around here. Just because it's a topic folks flock to doesn't mean there's some demon wreaking havoc on the saints. Of course, according to some, I'm not even one of you...and that's okay...I'm one of Tunkashila's, Elohay, Yeowah. Must be my horse spirit.
Human beings are sexual and it's second nature to be attracted to anything dealing with it, even christian discussion. I just hate the underhanded comments that somebody is "evil" because this forum is not currently being directed per the status quo. That is a blow below the belt that cannot be justified because feelings are being ruffled up. Then the tag-teaming on the RT thread as though no one notices. That's an auto-conversation. We cannot tag-team with G-d, including ME. I'll be the first to admit it.
And private revelation should be taken up with the church elders for all to know, witness, discuss and determine if it is in fact true. It can be a dangerous thing and I know this from personal experience with people.
But can we get back to the subject? If I'm with my man, I want to gallop that horse off into the distance. But I cannot. Do I allow any kind of fondling? What is fondling? How far does it go? Is it considered petting....heavy petting?
No breast touching
No groin contact whatsoever
No tongues anywhere
Do not grab my butt
And thighs are incredibly sensual...as in "accidentally" brushing thighs while seated together...that can lead to the bedroom in my book.
Even footsies is sensual and requires either someone seated in your lap, or reclining position on a sofa...Danger Danger Will!
Okay, I'm not sure if you were speaking to me but anyhow...I'm just giving a revelation of what God gave me. When I speak of spirits, I'm not talking about this thread specifically cause' I haven't prayed about this but as a forum...yes...there are definitely spirits that give a rise and fall to how many people come on the forum, what they say, etc, etc, etc.
Actually, after I think about it and even if The Holy Spirit hadn't shown me...it's not far fetched. Now GN, you say that people are reading and praying, listening and learning but not every person that comes to this forum wants to do that. Some people may not even know that spirits are involved as in the dream, I saw that many were sort of oblivous to what was happening.
Well, I'll say this first. Even if there were no posts...The Holy Spirit is able to give revelation about things even before they happen. He does this with me a lot. I don't choose the revelations but he tells me months and even years before they happen and it happens to a tee'. Sometimes, he gives me names of people and the names may even be different names, like Bonqueisha
I agree...and Chica u know...same thing happens to me. I was explaining to a friend sometimes it's better when you don't know. Especially as you get closer to the relevation.
music-bnatural-smile
New Member
Um...
Its getting strange in here lol.
Its getting strange in here lol.
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
I kinda want to multi-quote the whole thread, but can't really do that, lol.
I have to say that when I first read the op, it did remind me of the attitude that some people have on the forum that says "Let's see just how hypocritical these 'Christians' are." Now I'm not at all saying that that was the op's intent, but that attitude definitely comes out a lot here.
It's a good and valid question, but a poll isn't going to provide the answer since what individual Christians choose to do doesn't matter at all. What any individual person who says they know and follow Christ chooses to do or not do reflects only their choices and understanding of God's commands, and not "necessarily" what God has actually commanded.
Like other people have said, dating wasn't around in biblical times, and so there isn't a discussion of it (we like to forget about Song of Solomon, though), but even without clear, explicit lines drawn I think we can all find the truth about it if we're honest with ourselves about what our real motives and intentions are in doing a certain act. There's a big difference between saying, "Oh, when we cuddle, makeout, whatever, it's just us being physically affectionate, it's nothing sexual at all." And saying, "How mcuh can I indulge my sexual desires and desire to be with this person without going over X line?"
As long as we're asking the "How far is too far?" question, we're going to set ourselves up to fail. We've gone "too far" when either we or the person we're with starts getting sexually aroused.
Also, the apostle Paul tells us what we are supposed to do to deal with strong sexual desire: Get married! In the church today we're focusing so much on controlling this and that, not going here, not touching there, etc., that we're trying to set a higher sexual standard for ourselves that the Lord sets for us. He didn't say, "Oh, you should be strong enough to deal with it." He said get married.
I know that plenty of people desire to be married but aren't, but I really feel that this is a cultural problem and that if the Church as a whole really wanted to take sexual immorality seriously it would be encouraging and helping young people to marry rather than being just like the world and saying that they should wait until after they've done this, that, or the other.
I was all about listening to this advice from pastors, advisors, parents, etc. until I realized that all but one had led active sexual lives up until they were married. And the one who actually did abstain didn't say to wait, only to not be anxious about it. As far as the others, one pastor had a 7 year relationship with a woman, then within a year of breaking up with her met his current wife whom he married quickly. Another pastor and her husband had been engaged for years and admitted to having been sexually intimate. A lay Christian man also said to wait, but had been married at 18, divorced and then married again. All that to say that people in the church are encouraging people to wait or to exercise "self control" when their own lives show how difficult it is and that they didn't manage it themselves.
Unfortunately, the best answer came from a nonbeliever, a man who, when I told him I was abstaining said, "Wow, if I believed that, I would've gotten married when I was 18." That's it. I believe that one of the main things you can do to fight sexual immorality (if it is that much of a struggle) is to actively pursue marriage as the Lord intended.
I have to say that when I first read the op, it did remind me of the attitude that some people have on the forum that says "Let's see just how hypocritical these 'Christians' are." Now I'm not at all saying that that was the op's intent, but that attitude definitely comes out a lot here.
It's a good and valid question, but a poll isn't going to provide the answer since what individual Christians choose to do doesn't matter at all. What any individual person who says they know and follow Christ chooses to do or not do reflects only their choices and understanding of God's commands, and not "necessarily" what God has actually commanded.
Like other people have said, dating wasn't around in biblical times, and so there isn't a discussion of it (we like to forget about Song of Solomon, though), but even without clear, explicit lines drawn I think we can all find the truth about it if we're honest with ourselves about what our real motives and intentions are in doing a certain act. There's a big difference between saying, "Oh, when we cuddle, makeout, whatever, it's just us being physically affectionate, it's nothing sexual at all." And saying, "How mcuh can I indulge my sexual desires and desire to be with this person without going over X line?"
As long as we're asking the "How far is too far?" question, we're going to set ourselves up to fail. We've gone "too far" when either we or the person we're with starts getting sexually aroused.
Also, the apostle Paul tells us what we are supposed to do to deal with strong sexual desire: Get married! In the church today we're focusing so much on controlling this and that, not going here, not touching there, etc., that we're trying to set a higher sexual standard for ourselves that the Lord sets for us. He didn't say, "Oh, you should be strong enough to deal with it." He said get married.
I know that plenty of people desire to be married but aren't, but I really feel that this is a cultural problem and that if the Church as a whole really wanted to take sexual immorality seriously it would be encouraging and helping young people to marry rather than being just like the world and saying that they should wait until after they've done this, that, or the other.
I was all about listening to this advice from pastors, advisors, parents, etc. until I realized that all but one had led active sexual lives up until they were married. And the one who actually did abstain didn't say to wait, only to not be anxious about it. As far as the others, one pastor had a 7 year relationship with a woman, then within a year of breaking up with her met his current wife whom he married quickly. Another pastor and her husband had been engaged for years and admitted to having been sexually intimate. A lay Christian man also said to wait, but had been married at 18, divorced and then married again. All that to say that people in the church are encouraging people to wait or to exercise "self control" when their own lives show how difficult it is and that they didn't manage it themselves.
Unfortunately, the best answer came from a nonbeliever, a man who, when I told him I was abstaining said, "Wow, if I believed that, I would've gotten married when I was 18." That's it. I believe that one of the main things you can do to fight sexual immorality (if it is that much of a struggle) is to actively pursue marriage as the Lord intended.
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Netta1
Well-Known Member
I understood when you orginally posted....so I would have to say that thus far you are on the money. I (my own thoughts) don't think its a specific thread either..but thats about all I can say here. Keep up the good work, God reveals and reveals :0).
LOL, music!
Thank you... your entire post is on point.
discobiscuits
New Member
topsyturvy86
Well-Known Member
Hi 1star! 
Haven't seen u on here in a while ... where've u been??
Haven't seen u on here in a while ... where've u been??
pebbles
New Member
My LORD!!! I can't believe what I'm seeing.
I'm sorry, but this sort of thing is precisely why I've been so turned off by the posts in this forum lately. I just can't believe what I'm seeing!
The Christianity forum is for fellowship and prayer. It's not a game, and it sure isn't supposed to be a Jerry Springer show!
Ladies, ask yourselves; where is GOD's glory in all of this? Seriously, why are we here?
Please, review the CF rules before posting. I thought they were pretty clear as to what we want to see here and what we would prefer happens somewhere else. If the rules are ambiguous in any way, let me know, and I'll be sure to update them so that they are more clear.
Thread closed.
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