To the bold: DEFINITELY NOT, of course not. But that wasn't what I asked about. Like I said, the *gray area*?
Quite true. That has never been me though, which is why I've been celibate perhaps 97% of my life, and single nearly as much.
Oh please do – I requested other ladies who have courted and married to answer.
Yeah, I was wondering about that. I have a feeling someone just decided to be mischievous. For some reason, it appears that it's hard to have honest discussion about these things w/o people acting like the teenage joker snickering in the back of the classroom.
You know what? I think it is problematic that someone can't ask straightforward genuine questions, and get straightforward genuine answers without all the suspicion and aside comments. I don't know who has attacked you guys in this forum, and if that is the case, then you may have grounds to be wary, so I'll attempt to understand. However, all you have to do is a search of my posts to see that I'm always interested in genuine enquiry and arriving at truth.
I just don't see the problem or the issue. Or the big 'interest' about this regarding Christians. It's not making any sense. 
His deep voice, his strength, just the fact that he's a man, makes him worth being in love with, that and all of his other qualities. 
I'm not creating a debate, but I dunno...
I simply know what I'm not supposed to be doing and I choose not to do it. Of course there are 'moments' and challenges. We are all created by God as 'sexual beings'. We ARE human, not aliens from Jupiter or Mars.
I love being a woman and all that goes with me. And I love that my Sweetheart is a man who is 'manly' about being a man. Neither one of us have any doubt about one another's gender or our purpose and functions.
Christians are no different than any other human beings, we fall in love and we love that we do. I'd be devastated if I didn't have these feelings or if the man I love didn't share them. It's "Love for Love", but there's a time and a place for it to happen.
As for these 'grey' areas. There are none. Gee whiz, hold hands, kiss, just don't get carried away with it. YOU know what not to do or makes you tempted. You also know when a man is thinking about being 'with' you without him ever saying a word. A man will 'look' at you and you can read right through him. Please. You know what he's thinking and what he wants. You know he's interested. You KNOW.
His eyes will 'follow' you and when he's in love, you will see his eyes melt and his face has a smile that he gives to no one else.
If you're asking about how do you express affection for someone you care about? Express it! Just don't go over the line. It doesn't matter what on the list of ABC and 123.
We know that French kissing is an arousal; it an oral penetration which simulates penal penetration. It's foreplay. Men especially become quite aroused when they place their tongue inside of a woman's mouth. He's sending the message that he wants to go further.
Fondling: It's an arousal to having sex. You cannot touch a persons anatomy without it becoming stimulated. Fondling is preparation for penetration.
Lying in bed together, clothed or unclothed:
Just be prepared to have sex. Be it 'Sahara' or 'Oasis' (Dry or Wet); that's what you are preparing to do. You are in a lying position to have sex and it will happen.
It doesn't matter who says they do this and find nothing harmful or wrong with it. They are 'pushing' the edge to see just how far they can go without completing the act. But they have already done it. In their hearts and in their minds.
Bottomline: The posted poll doesn't have squat to do with Christianity. It has no purpose as a Christian inquiry as it does not pertain to us. There are no 'gray' neither grey areas with this issue. It's as simple as that. Sex is still sex no matter how one thinks they are not actually doing it.
Again, I don't see the problem or what the big issue is which made it necessary to even ask.
No.... to be more truthful, I've never 'made' it a problem. That's a better answer. I just never made it an issue or a problem.
Peace and blessings...
Let's get something clear about what I posted and I mean every single word of it.
It appears that some people are getting defensive and I am not really sure why.
I believe it is a valid question and see nothing wrong with it being asked. As far as why it is such a big deal? Well Christians are expected to adhere to certain behavior and standards. And when others see someone who identifies them self as a Christian yet partakes in behavior that seem to be contradictory it opens the door to these questions. But beyond that this is about having an open and honest dialogue about what is acceptable and what isn't in a relationship between a man and woman who are not in a relationship but not yet married.
There are many other things that I would like to express but I don't see the point, as I will just be attacked and judged and I don't feel like having my faith questioned today nor do I feel like dealing with others opinions of me and my lifestyle as a Christian.
It's really unnecessary to question peoples motives about such things, as Christians we are supposed to be open and expressive about our beliefs and the word of God and living the life that God says we must live. If we are so quick to make assumptions about people who ask questions of us Christians, I believe that it turns people off from accepting anything else we might have to say. I mean really if we as Christians get so defensive about such a simple question how can others take us seriously when we finally do choose to share our thoughts and feelings with them.
Just my $0.02
He made her cover the icons.
He was a young guy and he thought they were still virgins as long as he never penetrated her.
You know what? I think it is problematic that someone can't ask straightforward genuine questions, and get straightforward genuine answers without all the suspicion and aside comments. I don't know who has attacked you guys in this forum, and if that is the case, then you may have grounds to be wary, so I'll attempt to understand. However, all you have to do is a search of my posts to see that I'm always interested in genuine enquiry and arriving at truth.
My reasons for asking my questions are (1) I am an intellectually curious being - I always want to figure out why? how? (2) I have been exploring Christianity recently - I'm reading a number of books like "The Case for Christ", (3) I interact with devout Christians as family members (but some things you don't ask your mom(!)), friends, potential mates, and (4) some of the posts on the forums caused me to raise my eyebrow and think, "Wow, this person's version of Christianity is a lot more permissive than the one I'm familiar with."
Hi Ebonylocs,
(1) I, too, an an intellectually curious individual as well, which is why I've come to the conclusion that figuring out the why/how people do certain things is not feasible.
(2) I think its great that you are exploring Christianity. A great book regarding this thread topic is " Choosing God's Best". It discusses this topic and courtship in great detail.
(3-4) Unless you feel your family, friends, and potential mates would not give genuine answers, I think it would actually be a great discussion topic for them as well. ( especially potential mates since it would directly involve them)
In response to the bolded:
Ebonylocs, I have to say that Christianity is a matter of the heart. Therein lies ones' convictions and most vulnerable emotions. On the surface it may seem as though some Christians are at peace doing things they know do not please God. However, we are not cognizant of the conflict that may live in their hearts. I've had people dispute my stance (not here but IRL) on this and quote the bible saying, "You can tell a tree by the fruit it bears." (I'm not sure of the exact scripture, though I should be as many times I've heard it in discussion.) While that may be true in most cases, some "trees" may not have reached the season to bear fruit just yet. Sometimes as Christians our actions may not always line up with what's in our hearts as strange as it sounds. This is called a stronghold.
The statement in red was my interpretation on what a stronghold is, but the following is more insightful :
(copied from http://www.spiritualwarfaredelivera...irit/html/what-are-spiritual-strongholds.html)
Spiritual strongholds are strongly established sinful ways, false beliefs, and behaviors, that have gained a strong influence over a person to the extent that each stronghold “sets itself up against the knowledge of God” (v.5). In areas that the strongholds are established, an individual is either unable to consistently follow God’s word or is unable to accept it because these spiritual strongholds have an excessive influence on him.
Strongholds are high levels of demonic influence (not possession) in any area(s) of the spiritual faculties of an individual. Our spiritual faculties consist of our minds, our emotions and our will power). Think of people caught up in some sinful behavior like atheism, unbelief, stealing, greed, alcohol addiction, drugs, sexual sins, promiscuity, pornography, homosexuality, uncontrollable anger (temper tantrums), compulsive gambling, and so on. They feel easily pulled to or controlled by whatever matter that is entrenched into their lifestyle.
Strongholds are divinely demolishable through our indirect weapons of spiritual warfare and deliverance. They are not demolished by directly confronting certain assumed spirits in geographical territories, familiar spirits, generational spirits, Jezebel spirits, spirits of division, spirits of unforgiveness, spirits of addiction, spirits of this and that.
As far as what is permissable, most of the poll options definitely are not permissable. Are there Christians that know this and continue to struggle?
However, daily as a Christian woman, I thank God for His grace and mercy. I thankful that I worship a forgiving God, but I do routine "inventory" on my spirit to make sure I remember that His grace is not to be abused. Everyday Christians go to battle- spirit against flesh (not necessarily in sexual nature). Unfortunately, we DON'T always win, which IMO is a good thing because it keeps us humble.
Just one last point (didn't mean to have such a long post)-
While there may be some lost "battles" in our spiritual lives that are visible, please keep in mind that there may be many more "battles" that person has won that may not be as blatant. Please keep an open mind throughout your exploration of Christianity and remember that even as Christian human beings that we are still multi-faceted.
** Please read the scripture under my avatar. Thanks.
Bottomline: The posted poll doesn't have squat to do with Christianity. It has no purpose as a Christian inquiry as it does not pertain to us. There are no 'gray' neither grey areas with this issue. It's as simple as that. Sex is still sex no matter how one thinks they are not actually doing it.
Again, I don't see the problem or what the big issue is which made it necessary to even ask.
No.... to be more truthful, I've never 'made' it a problem. That's a better answer. I just never made it an issue or a problem.
Peace and blessings...
LOL. It reminded me of a movie I saw with this newly married couple and Jesus and Mary were on the wall above their bed and he couldn't get his groove on
Let's get something clear about what I posted and I mean every single word of it.
This thread 'seems' to put Christians under a social survey, social experiment or microscope as if there's something 'wrong' or 'weird' with Christians because we choose to honor the sanctity of sex. The interest is as OP said, was presented as too clinical which is exactly as I perceived it to be. And why? We're not aliens over here.
Folks are playing games. Note: I'm not necessarily saying this about ebonylocs, the OP of this thread, but the 'spirit' of it is here.I can sense it.
There are people here who are flesh and blood human beings with hearts and feelings and we should be respected as such. They've been through many a trial and heartbreak and as Christians they are striving to have peace in their lives and to leave Godly and at peace with everyone if possible. They do not deserve to 'mocked' for their faith and strivings to live right for God.
The 'world' and the lurkers of this thread don't care that we value sex or why we choose to place a value on our relationship with God. They're looking for more reasons to mock and joke about 'us' and to use it as an insult rather than commend us.
That poll is raw, way too explicit and extremely offensive to the Body of Christ. Why even dare 'assume' that we would even 'go there' or to see if there would be a tally of those who do. But it's there as an afront to say, "Yeah, Right". And here's the clue: Most of the folks who are not Christians, have been lurking here just to see how many would select the raw and explicit options on that poll. Look at numbers of those who are viewing this thread. 90% are not Christians seeking advice. Rather they are Lurkers seeking to accuse or to be amused.
You want to call me 'defensive', you better believe that I am. I cherish this forum and I will defend it. I'll stand toe to toe with anyone who opposes me and I will not back down. I care about the needs of the people here. They come to me for prayer everyday and I am not going to bail out on them or the Lord.
There's a 'spirit' that has come into this Christianity forum, a spirit of 'mockery' of the Christian faith, as an 'afront' to God. I'm watching and I'm praying. You don't have to like it. But it's what I'm called to do. Watch and pray.
Me Defensive? ... Yeah! You better believe it!
erplexed
)
"attaway, child!"
" Oy vey! Ver's ze respect!!!"
I wondered about that. I mean to say that some people ask because they sincerely wish to know. She never mentioned the sect of christianity...might involve a full and formal 6-month to 1-year long conversion...or longer. Rules and regulations? Present living style? Compatibility? I think we can allow questions without accusations of mockery.
Okay... You lost me with my ancestors (Native Americans).
Okay... You lost me with my ancestors (Native Americans).
So, in other words, Christianity is not a revolving door or a discount shoe store. Where some may come to try what they like and maybe come back for more.
Okay, I understand. Thanks GV.
Let's get something clear about what I posted and I mean every single word of it.
This thread 'seems' to put Christians under a social survey, social experiment or microscope as if there's something 'wrong' or 'weird' with Christians because we choose to honor the sanctity of sex. The interest is as OP said, was presented as too clinical which is exactly as I perceived it to be. And why? We're not aliens over here.
Folks are playing games. Note: I'm not necessarily saying this about ebonylocs, the OP of this thread, but the 'spirit' of it is here.I can sense it.
There are people here who are flesh and blood human beings with hearts and feelings and we should be respected as such. They've been through many a trial and heartbreak and as Christians they are striving to have peace in their lives and to leave Godly and at peace with everyone if possible. They do not deserve to 'mocked' for their faith and strivings to live right for God.
The 'world' and the lurkers of this thread don't care that we value sex or why we choose to place a value on our relationship with God. They're looking for more reasons to mock and joke about 'us' and to use it as an insult rather than commend us.
That poll is raw, way too explicit and extremely offensive to the Body of Christ. Why even dare 'assume' that we would even 'go there' or to see if there would be a tally of those who do. But it's there as an afront to say, "Yeah, Right". And here's the clue: Most of the folks who are not Christians, have been lurking here just to see how many would select the raw and explicit options on that poll. Look at numbers of those who are viewing this thread. 90% are not Christians seeking advice. Rather they are Lurkers seeking to accuse or to be amused.
You want to call me 'defensive', you better believe that I am. I cherish this forum and I will defend it. I'll stand toe to toe with anyone who opposes me and I will not back down. I care about the needs of the people here. They come to me for prayer everyday and I am not going to bail out on them or the Lord.
There's a 'spirit' that has come into this Christianity forum, a spirit of 'mockery' of the Christian faith, as an 'afront' to God. I'm watching and I'm praying. You don't have to like it. But it's what I'm called to do. Watch and pray.
Me Defensive? ... Yeah! You better believe it!
What pedestal? You just placed me there. Obvisoulsy your issue is with me personally, not this thread.You are entirely too sensitive. There is no mocking going on in this thread. And yes, quite a few people have viewed this thread but I choose to believe that it's because people would like insight on how Christian women are able to deal with any temptation they might face in their relationship.
It's people like yourself that turn people off from Christianity with the holier than thou, rigid attitude.
There is nothing raw or explicit about the poll, it's about sex, and there is nothing wrong about discussing sex and how Christians handle sex in their lives. If anything it can inspire others to follow whatever example they admire and give others the strength to persevere in an hour of temptation. And as Christians, of course we are under a microscope!!! How could we not be? Especially when there are some who insist on placing themselves on a pedestal. Anyway, I am done trying to discuss this. I am just simply appalled at the response that this thread has gotten. Go ahead and be defensive, I haven't the energy to waste on that nonsense
And do you really think I care?
