Sex, is only physical....

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
A few questions from part 3 of Andy Stanley's series called The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating. The message is medicine for all relationships (single, married, divorced, separated, etc) but is especially good for those desiring to be married. I feel compelled to share these rhetorical questions with you. You don't have to answer or comment but please take time to really think about your answers. I believe you will be changed. Here is the link again (posted about part 2 in another thread) in case you want to watch it yourself- http://www.northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating.

Myth we've all heard before- As long as no one gets pregnant, hurts anyone, or gets a disease, it's just sex.:look:
If sex is just physical-
Why is it that when a child is sexually abused and they have become an adult who can connect the dots of what has happened to them, why is it so difficult to shake that off? Why is it that that is often something that follows a person throughout their entire life and in some cases keeps them off kilter enough that they struggle and remain off balance? Why don't we hear abuse victims say stuff like, "Yeah, some dirty old man touched me and stuff but hey, it was just sex. Imma' just shake that off and KIM"?

Why is it that rape is so much more devastating to a woman than being beat up? Why is it a woman is more likely to report physical abuse but remain silent concerning and thus suffer alone quietly when raped? If sex is just physical then it's just like being beat up. You report it, get out of the relationship, and move on.

Why is it that men with the deepest sexual issues (addictions, committment issues, etc) have fathers who are missing, distant, or who were otherwise uninvolved in their lives?

Why is it that most people's deepest, greatest regrets are sexual in nature? When people approach you and say, "I want/need to tell you something that I've never told you or anyone before," or the like, it's usually sexual in nature?

Things that are purely physical in nature do not profoundly effect our emotions that way. They do not touch us at our very core.
 

brg240

Well-Known Member
thanks for sharing the links in the other thread Prudent1 I just finished them. very good.

You know for a while I have been thinking this. In regards to sex being not only physical because if it was rape/sexual assault would be looked at as a regular assault. Rape is seen as one of the most heinous crimes ever. People can rationalize murder (they betrayed someone, they did something so horrible, they hurt your family or others) But who (besides some misogynists) can justify rape? No one.

I can't attest to the men with the worst sexual issues missing their fathers. But I do see how missing/distant fathers can severely mess up people/society.

---
I think most people that say sex is only physical are lying to themselves or are very numb. I mean even on a basic level don't people that say they just want a physical relationship want it because it brings them some joy?

I do wonder if some people hearts have been hardened towards emotions? Idk if that's possible. Just rambling a bit, so i might have missed the point.
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
thanks for sharing the links in the other thread @Prudent1 I just finished them. very good.

You know for a while I have been thinking this. In regards to sex being not only physical because if it was rape/sexual assault would be looked at as a regular assault. Rape is seen as one of the most heinous crimes ever. People can rationalize murder (they betrayed someone, they did something so horrible, they hurt your family or others) But who (besides some misogynists) can justify rape? No one.

I can't attest to the men with the worst sexual issues missing their fathers. But I do see how missing/distant fathers can severely mess up people/society.

---
I think most people that say sex is only physical are lying to themselves or are very numb. I mean even on a basic level don't people that say they just want a physical relationship want it because it brings them some joy?

I do wonder if some people hearts have been hardened towards emotions? Idk if that's possible. Just rambling a bit, so i might have missed the point.
brg240,
Glad you enjoyed it! You're 100% correct, there is no justification for rape.

I can attest to the missing daddy for men thing. I fell hard for a man like that. We were deep off into a sexual relationship before I learned that was the root of many of his problems.:nono:

Yes, it feels good to feel good you know? You did not miss any marks. That's exactly what happens to emotions/souls. Your heart/ soul gets lacerated and has all of these scabs (protective mechanism from past disappointments and hurts) on them. Have you ever seen any really thick scar tissue on a person? You can poke it, scratch it, whatever but they have lost their ability to feel properly. Same thing:yep:. You lose the ability to feel and to truly love and well, that's just sad. It's like eating your favorite foods with no taste buds and no ability to smell. It sneaks up on you and so when you meet someone you really are serious about you discover there's no off button for that part of your life. That's when the struggle begins.
 

aribell

formerly nicola.kirwan
Prudent, I have to say that usually I'm weary of the sermons and advice given to singles, but this was really good! Definitely worth listening to.

Eta--meant that comment for part one. Havent heard part three yet.
Sent from my LS670 using LS670
 

Renewed1

Well-Known Member
A friend and I have discuss this once before. She won't admit it (because she claims to be a nympho <rolls eyes>) but sex is a spiritual thing. Really only for the person you marry.

The sad thing is for those whom had sex before, they don't realize of the soul ties they acquire with these "random people." And the longer your list the harder it is to get rid of that connection. Because you are very well bringing "strangers" into your marriage bed, if you don't ask God for forgiveness, server ties, etc.
 

Renewed1

Well-Known Member
Prudent, I have to say that usually I'm weary of the sermons and advice given to singles, but this was really good! Definitely worth listening to.

Eta--meant that comment for part one. Havent heard part three yet.
Sent from my LS670 using LS670

Part 1 was the BOMB!! I needed it, not so much for the other series. Although they were just as good.
 
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