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She Thinks My Hair Is Short!

Kimiche

Well-Known Member
My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. :perplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:




 

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aloof one

New Member
Well its not long. I mean I'm not going to pass you in the street and say "Oooh that girl's hair is LONG!" I would say its just medium. You aren't bald.

I don't get why her opinion matters, or why it is so bad. Whether she thinks its long or short your hair isn't going to grow any faster. Shoulder length is not considered long for most people. I don't get how she is obligated to think your hair is what you want her to think it is. Maybe she noticed your hair has been at the same length and was wondering if you were going to let it grow out. Just a question...
 

poookie

Well-Known Member
My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. :perplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:





... what's normal length hair? :perplexed

and if hers is "normal", does that make yours abnormal? where's your self esteem, girl? you know your hair's growing, so don't let other people make assumptions that its not! :)
 
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Kurlee

Well-Known Member
Short hair to a non black person IRL is like apl and up. Its long to them once it hits bsl and beyond. Don't think she was trying to offend and your hair looks very healthy and growing. Wait till the end of the year you can flap your hair in her face next time:look:
 

Kimiche

Well-Known Member
Well its not long. I mean I'm not going to pass you in the street and say "Oooh that girl's hair is LONG!" I would say its just medium. You aren't bald.

I don't get why her opinion matters, or why it is so bad. Whether she thinks its long or short your hair isn't going to grow any faster. Shoulder length is not considered long for most people. I don't get how she is obligated to think your hair is what you want her to think it is. Maybe she noticed your hair has been at the same length and was wondering if you were going to let it grow out. Just a question...

Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?
 

graCeful_89

New Member
Short hair to a non black person IRL is like apl and up. Its long to them once it hits bsl and beyond. Don't think she was trying to offend and your hair looks very healthy and growing. Wait till the end of the year you can flap your hair in her face next time:look:
:yep::yep::yep: I hated that back in the day. You know, when you KNEW your hair grew and you were so proud and happy and someone had to go and say "Oh yeah short like so&so's" & you're thinking DANNNNG if this is short...then shoot...i was bald headed before. Ignore her.
 

Kimiche

Well-Known Member
Short hair to a non black person IRL is like apl and up. Its long to them once it hits bsl and beyond. Don't think she was trying to offend and your hair looks very healthy and growing. Wait till the end of the year you can flap your hair in her face next time:look:

Thanks Kurlee. This is my first time having a discussion about hair with a non black person, so I guess I didn't know what the heck they think long or short is.
 

Kimiche

Well-Known Member
:yep::yep::yep: I hated that back in the day. You know, when you KNEW your hair grew and you were so proud and happy and someone had to go and say "Oh yeah short like so&so's" & you're thinking DANNNNG if this is short...then shoot...i was bald headed before. Ignore her.

I guess that's how I felt. I didn't say anything, tried to ignore it and kept the conversation moving, but at the end of the day I was like, damn!!
 

Kimiche

Well-Known Member
... what's normal length hair? :perplexed

and if hers is "normal", does that make yours abnormal? where's your self esteem, girl? you know your hair's growing, so don't let other people make assumptions that its not! :)

Excuse the choice of word, but her hair is in the middle, not quite bsl.
 

MrsWatson

Well-Known Member
Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks...

If I am describing a woman with APL hair, i say its long. One of my sisters though, who has past MBL hair, will say APL is short. Your hair is gorgeous and NOT short by any means. I know that if I can infer that from one picture, you KNOW its true.
I went through a lot when I was little too, in regards to hair. I can see how you can be offended. Just take a step back, take a deep breathe and analyze the situation. Your hair isn't short, thats just her opinion. Which, given the average length of hair I see on Asian women, is understandable.
 

tallygirl

Active Member
You're doing a good job taking care of your hair...so, don't let anyone's comments get to you....Keep it growing, girl! Keep it growing!
 

MissLawyerLady

New Member
A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter.

Sometimes, when non-black people may comments about our hair they do so out of stereotypical assumptions. I had a white co-worker comment on my hair color (I wasn't even discussing hair with her). She mentioned that although I have a lot of auburn and medium brown hair that I had a whole lot of black hair too. I just smiled and said thanks that she liked my hair color and went on with my day. Truth is I don't have any black in my hair and, unless she's 3 yrs. old and doesn't know her colors, she knows I have no black in my hair. But she was operating off of a stereotype that she had that all black people have one color of hair- black. She later asked me if I did cornrows, if I'd ever worn braids, and told me how much she liked the beads with braids!!!! :nono: She's kinda simple.:yep:
 

ladylibra

New Member
aww don't feel bad. i remember in high school 2 of my long-haired white friends were talking about getting hair cuts, both of them were waist-length. one of them said she'd like to take off a foot of hair... i looked at her and joked, "if i took off a foot of hair, i'd be bald!" and we had a good laugh about it. i was around SL at the time.

it's no biggie. i'd just say, "yes, i'm thinking about growing it out," and leave it at that. i'm sure she's just curious about your hair and making conversation as a friend. :yep:

***btw i would consider SL hair as "medium" length. obviously we all have our own opinions on what is short, medium, long etc. so maybe to her, SL is short, BSL is medium, WL and longer is long. don't sweat it. as long as YOU are happy with your hair and you're keeping it healthy, that's what matters. :yep:
 
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Cassandra1975

New Member
Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?
I know what you mean. Having had short hair pretty much all my life, including the Halle Berry cut, to ME shoulder length is long. If I got the front and top of my hair to grow down to shoulder length I'd be hella happy. Of course, if you compare shoulder length to BSL, it's not long. It's all relative. You know you're having progress, so that's all that matters. :yep:
 

Lady Esquire

New Member
My co worker and I are cool. We take breaks together and talk and what not. Anyhow, we took a break yesterday to get some coffee and the subject of hair was brought up by her. Her questions to me were, "Are you going to grow your hair out longer?" Like it's so fawking easy. "Do you like having it short?" The way she was talking in my opinion, made it seem like I have no hair at all. She is Asian and has normal length hair. I know my hair is short in comparison to hers, but I consider my hair to be a decent length. I would like it to be a little longer though. She asked me if my hair was ever longer, I told her maybe a little bit longer back in the day.

A few months back when I got my hair done, I told her that my hair stylist said that my hair grew. My co worker thought that it looked shorter. If she thinks it's short now, imagine if I ever get a Halle Berry or Malinda Williams type short cut. :perplexed

Here is a snap shot of what my hair looks like now:

Long hair is a "relative" term, depending on the person.

I actually had a freind, black girl, who had mid-back length. I was visiting her at her home, and going thru her photo album. I commented on her cute APL slanted blunt bob-ish cut, and she said, "yeah, that was when I went thru my short hair phase." I thought to myself, wow, she considers that short? But after I looked thru all of her pics, from childhood thru present day, I realized her hair has always been mid back to waistlength, so APL (to her) was short.

It is all relative.
 

freshlikemoi

Well-Known Member
I dont think she understood. I have some indian friends who know that for some "when a black girl's hair hits SL its long"..lol. I laugh about it now, but it was once my mentality too. SO you really can't blame her. I'm sure you don't know how to cook CHinese noodles...to me it's one of those things. We're just culturally different..:drunk:
 

divya

Well-Known Member
I really don't see the big deal here. To her, your length is short and she just asked if you were going to grow it longer.

To me, shoulder length and less is short, regardless of background. It's just depends on the person...
 

Cichelle

Well-Known Member
If I were describing you to someone, I would say you have short hair. Sorry. It's not meant as an insult at all. I happen to think your hair looks nice. But it isn't long...to me. I don't consider shoulder length hair long. It's all relative, I guess.

I don't think your co-worker was trying to insult you, but then I wasn't there and didn't hear her tone or manner of speaking. You know best. Maybe she likes your hair and thinks it would look even better if it were longer. She probably doesn't know how much such a conversation would affect and hurt you. To her, she's probably just asking about hair like she would ask about a pair of shoes or something. She doesn't comprehend what your hair means to you.

I'm sorry you were hurt by it. Try to just give a brief answer and move on to the next topic if it comes up again.
 

Lady Esquire

New Member
Is having short hair a bad thing to you, OP?

I was gonna and forgot to ask that too.
I wore my Halle Berry do and even the shorter Toni Braxton pixie for years. And I do not want to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

I was turning heads left and right. It sounds as if OP was offended. But why? Short hair is not a bad thing. In fact, it is quite sexy. Showing off your neck, its sassy...
 
She was probably just going by what she (and Asians in general) consider long and short hair. Non-blacks have a different scale. If I see a black woman with APL hair I consider that long, but on a woman of another race it doesn't really seem long.

Your hair looks beautiful--it looks thick and healthy. If your stylists says it got longer, then good for you. So now you know you're well on your way to reaching your goals. :yep:
 

ShiShiPooPoo

Well-Known Member
I remember I asked the ladies here if I could claim shoulder length. I displayed a pic and thought for sure everyone would say yes...many did but there were a few that said "naw...not quite...I would say you are neck length." I actually appreciated it and when I REALLY looked at it...I still had about 1 inch or so to go before shoulder length...I just changed my goal and now I think I'm there!:lachen:

I think that women with long hair can give us a realistic answer because they are really looking at length...not to say others aren't but I've had people with ear length hair tell me my hair is long where people with mid back hair refer to it as short...no love lost...it just tells me to keep doing what I'm doing and I'll get there eventually.

Your hair is healthy and growing and is very pretty IMO. Just keep your eyes on the prize girl...we'll get there!
 

divya

Well-Known Member
I was gonna and forgot to ask that too.
I wore my Halle Berry do and even the shorter Toni Braxton pixie for years. And I do not want to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

I was turning heads left and right. It sounds as if OP was offended. But why? Short hair is not a bad thing. In fact, it is quite sexy. Showing off your neck, its sassy...

:lachen: As you should! There are plenty women who look great with short dos! It's all about what you like! It also seemed to be like she was offended. Maybe it's just because long hair tends to be considered more beautiful by so many...
 

ShiShiPooPoo

Well-Known Member
I was gonna and forgot to ask that too.
I wore my Halle Berry do and even the shorter Toni Braxton pixie for years. And I do not want to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT.

I was turning heads left and right. It sounds as if OP was offended. But why? Short hair is not a bad thing. In fact, it is quite sexy. Showing off your neck, its sassy...


Girl, me too! Men love it...toot, toot!
 

LivingDoll

Well-Known Member
Hey OP, I'm sorry that she upset you. The thing is, when we work and work to get our hair to a goal length, we want to believe that it's gradually happening and we want others to give us reassurance that they can see our progress. I totally understand how you feel. Be happy and confident in knowing that your hair is beautiful. Try not to let it bother you...k?
 

firecracker

Well-Known Member
Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?
Woosa mami woosa:yep: I guess her comment would hurt if you have been thru some quasi serious hair issues but please don't allow your defense mechanism to get the best of you. If your hair is healthier than it used to be thats great, if length is what you want and you get it thats even better. :grin:

If you keep getting upset about your hair your stress level could delay your growing process and turn your hair into wheat:lachen:j/k I hope you don't go off on my silly *** too!:look:
 

ShiShiPooPoo

Well-Known Member
Woosa mami woosa:yep: I guess her comment would hurt if you have been thru some quasi serious hair issues but please don't allow your defense mechanism to get the best of you. If your hair is healthier than it used to be thats great, if length is what you want and you get it thats even better. :grin:

If you keep getting upset about your hair your stress level could delay your growing process and turn your hair into wheat:lachen:j/k I hope you don't go off on my silly *** too!:look:


:lachen::lachen:That lightens the mood!
 

Bint Yusef

New Member
Here we go! I know my hair is not long. I never said that it was long, but I don't consider it to be short either. And I never said that I think that she is obligated to say that my hair is long. As a matter of fact, I didn't ask for her opinion, she brought it up yesterday. She made it seem like I was bald the way she said it. I went through a lot growing up when my hair started falling out due to a bad relaxer and I had really short hair, so maybe I am sensitive. I finally think that I am achieving some length with some months of braids and trying to reach a goal and someone comes along and says my hair is short. My question is, why does it seem like you're jumping on me?[
Because you are being defensive and overly sensitive. Your hair IS short, and so is mine. There was a poll on this board a while back asking people what they consider to be long and most people said BSL and beyond, so I am sure a lot of women here will also agree your hair is short. Keep good health practices and this time next year it will be long.
 

Xavier

Well-Known Member
Woosa mami woosa:yep: I guess her comment would hurt if you have been thru some quasi serious hair issues but please don't allow your defense mechanism to get the best of you. If your hair is healthier than it used to be thats great, if length is what you want and you get it thats even better. :grin:

If you keep getting upset about your hair your stress level could delay your growing process and turn your hair into wheat:lachen:j/k I hope you don't go off on my silly *** too!:look:

OT:
:wave:Hi Fire,
I was wondering about you and was going to ask about you in the " member update" thread. You always crack me up with you posts and I was wondering where you were at.
 
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