Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by Glib Gurl, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    Gurrrrl!!! I lost EVERYTHING when I found Him in the Eucharist. EVERYTHING, just about everything. He says to hold on. He sees and knows. I guess that's when that "lean not unto your own understanding..." comes in. I usually hate it when someone says it but...it's true. Come L-rd. I'm getting hold here lolol!
     
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  2. Belle Du Jour

    Belle Du Jour Well-Known Member

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    He stripped me of a lot too...things have improved but there's still that one thing (being a wife/mother) missing...I know it will all make sense one day but I guess today is not that day LOL.
     
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  3. Divine.

    Divine. Well-Known Member

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    God has given us the ability to make decisions. I'm going to venture to say something that goes against every Christian relationship expert.

    If you are in a place where you have been waiting for a relationship for an extended period of time, and you know God has confirmed that the desire marriage is from him, I think it's time to do something different. It's time to open our network. It's time to venture out. It's time to make ourselves more available. Make it possible for the right person to come into your life.

    I feel like opening up your network is super important because it widens the pool of potential suitors. We have made it so taboo to desire marriage. It's like if you don't sit in a corner and wait for God to drop this man into your life, you're out of line. I'm making a conscious effort to open my network by getting more involved in church, going to the gym, joining an organization for young professionals and possibly taking dance classes. Make no mistake, I am not doing these things to get a man. I am however being realistic about the fact that this man isn't going to show up at my doorstep. I need to go out, be present everyday, and be open to meeting new people who could potentially connect me with the man I have been praying about.

    I'll have to report back if this makes a difference.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2017
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  4. Belle Du Jour

    Belle Du Jour Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely I agree. We have to put gas in the car for God to drive it. I just purchased a ticket to a Christian singles mixer. I belong to groups, volunteer, etc. I'm definitely giving God something to work with :lol:
     
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  5. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    Not really. This should be common sense...or use a matchmaker service.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  6. phynestone

    phynestone Well-Known Member

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    You can't live life sitting on the sidelines. You have to get out there! That's why I'm trying so many new activities this summer. I cut off the majority of my friends last year and I'm trying to meet new people.

    I think we could also try to become our best selves - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially and of course, physically. Men are visual and are definitely drawn by appearances. I don't care what anyone says. Christian man or not. It is the physical that attracts, but the heart that keeps.
     
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  7. Divine.

    Divine. Well-Known Member

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    The bolded has been another focus of mine as well. I have been in this thread since it first started in 2013. Since then, I haven't met anyone or dated. I'm realizing how much I missed out on waiting for a man who didn't want me to recognize my worth. Instead of healing, I got stuck. It's crazy how much time has flown by! This year I have really been taking the time to enjoy life.

    I want the end of this year to be different. I don't want to end it worried about my relationship status. Either I hope to be dating or completely content where I am. Although I hope to meet someone new, even if I don't, the Lord has truly given me a peace.
     
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  8. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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    You don't need to hit the reset on your entire life just take your cues from the HS and you'll be lead to or shown what you need to work on or amplify. At least you're getting it done, some people spend their whole lives in "spiritual limbo" not understanding and not living full spiritual lives God wants with us and for us.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
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  9. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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    Truth! I hear you, it is frustrating, annoying, and just down right confusing when you're trying to do everything as best as you can within Gods will, and in my case I keep getting invited to these weddings. I'm so over it, (I'm thinking of declining from now on) wedding after wedding it's either fornicating not living together, or fornicating , living together with children, not babies kids, plural and their engaged (big diamond ring, enagament pics all over SM etc...) , buying homes, cars together and getting married. While me and others women like me are going out, living our lives out in the world and still getting passed over. I felt as though at one point I was being shown this over and over again on purpose. Like hey, if you go your own way, don't be a passive punk, or antiquated, old fashioned and go get your man, even if you have to sex him into commitment, you can have all this too.

    I know it really irked me for the longest time, I had to control the eye rolling, side eyeing, the attitude I had and I've released that and I know it's between them and God. Now I don't condone any of it, but like we've discussed before in this thread we don't really know who, what kind of man these women are marrying. Or just cause they're shacked up for years doesn mean the marriage is going to be great or even last. We do know God will not be mocked, and they will have to work out how they did things with God, themselves, and their children.

    I pray for them now that they actually get to the altar and that they can hang on, cause the devil is going to have an open door into their home and their marriage 24/7 because their foundation is faulty, their foundation is sand, so when the enemy sends floods, winds, tempests their home/marriage most likely will not withstand it. I'm not wishing ill it's just facts it's been statistically proven shacked up couples don't do well married or not. I believe that God will not bless your mess just cause you bring it to Him with a pretty "marriage" bow on it.

    You will know them by their fruits we don't know what kind of harvest is waiting for them cause they went their own way and disobeyed God. You're human you will feel these emotions, it's just how much are you going to let what others do affect you? If they choose to live in sin- that's on them, but your life, and spiritual life with God that's on you and Him don't let them distract you from the prize-God, spouse of the HS, Jesus the best man who will find you the "best man" to be your husband. Amen! (Got that from Jackie Francois Angel) Also, if you can try to get to adoration at least once a week and bring a journal and your bible with you.
    We don't know Gods timing, maybe FH is 5-10 years younger than you and not quite ready yet, only He knows. Here's some verses that helped me. HTH

    Psalm 25:3
    Indeed, no one who waits on you will be ashamed, but those who offend for no reason will be put to shame.

    Psalm 27:13-14
    I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
    Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

    Isaiah 61:1-3

    61 The spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
    because the Lord has anointed me;
    he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
    to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and release to the prisoners;
    2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,
    and the day of vengeance of our God;
    to comfort all who mourn;
    3 to provide for those who mourn in Zion—
    to give them a garland instead of ashes,
    the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.
    They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, to display his glory.


    Isaiah 61:7
    Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.

    Isaiah 30:18

    Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
  10. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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  11. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted to give a small testimony. I had a rough time recently so I've been studying the word and praying more, going to adoration and taking the sacraments more often. So I was at church one day and this old lady complimented me on my jewelry then she said your a pretty lady one day you'll have many beautiful babies, do you have babies?
    Me: No, I don't have a husband yet.
    L: I'll pray to God to give you a good husband so you can have lots of beautiful babies.
    I thanked her a couple of times, then we saw the Preist and we asked him to pray for me, and I said yes Father I need all the help I can get.
    I realized in that moment that God had sent me a message through this woman. Side note she's always praying when I see her Rosary in hand.
    So ladies keep getting out there, serving, living, traveling, working, whatever it is you do and stay in the word and spend more time with God now while your single so you'll be spiritually strong when you become a wife. We don't have to be perfect but we should have some things on lock like our prayer lives. God will bless you all in His own time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
  12. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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    There are "godly" guys out there dont give up!



     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2017
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  13. Divine.

    Divine. Well-Known Member

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    Hey Ladies!

    So I came back to give somewhat of an update regarding my previous post. In general, I have been becoming more open to speaking to strangers. I used to always walk with my head down and avoid eye contact. Who wants to talk to someone like that?? So far this has been very beneficial as I have made instant connections with people, something I used to struggle with. Now, more people (men and women) speak to me even if I do not open the conversation first.

    Something I had trouble with at first was grappling with the difference between making yourself available and actively pursuing a relationship. I can make myself available without the need to consciously pursue a relationship. I like going into scenarios without any expectations, including the prospect of meeting a guy. I can only speak for myself, but I do not feel comfortable seeking out a man. Everything about it feels wrong. I get so uneasy! I'd rather it just "happen" than forcing myself to be at the right place at the right time.

    In all, I'm just taking it day by day and working to improve my confidence.
     
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  14. Maracujá

    Maracujá Hair type: 4B - 11 years natural!!!

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    Yup! Let's not forget to pray that our future husbands be surrounded by Godly people and that their family will also accept us, when the time comes.
     
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  15. Belle Du Jour

    Belle Du Jour Well-Known Member

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  16. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    Word of advice that is very difficult in today's world for marriage and kids:

    Spouse before kids.
    Remember that. Do NOT make the kid first priority. That's sounds rather counter-intuitive for today's child-centered culture and worship of youth which is churning out privilege-minded brats who are learning to shirk responsibility. You cannot have a successful marriage when you place your kids above your marital needs. It's G-d first, spouses second and kids last. People tend to naturally shift towards placing kids before themselves with all their school activities, wants and needs (and social pressures) and soon, the marriage is neglected. What better way to raise children to responsible adulthood than to provide an example of a loving couple who are second in line, before the children, care for each other and then care for the children in balance. It's important.
     
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  17. Maracujá

    Maracujá Hair type: 4B - 11 years natural!!!

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    Been listening to this song lately. Hope is starting to spring up in my heart again...
     
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  18. Aggie

    Aggie Well-Known Member

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    Amen to that! Thanks for sharing @Lucia
     
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  19. mz.rae

    mz.rae Well-Known Member

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    I made the mistake of allowing that ex back into my life. After so many people warned me not to, I had to to keep defending him and making excuses for him. Things were going great, but then all of a sudden it just started going downhill. After he hung the phone up on me one night it went downhill. I would try to call and text/message him and would get no response. And the one time he did respond he played if off like a joke with his responses. All I wanted to know was if he was alright and why he was being so distant lately.

    Finally in my frustration one day I just kept calling and messaging him because I just wanted to know what was going. Why no response? We are two adults why aren't you communicating with me? He still didn't respond, and just deleted me off Facebook and an hour or so after doing that he text me saying it was over. Now I admit in my frustration I did use some harsh words, but I was hurt. How do you be in a relationship with someone and go a whole week without talking to them. And then when they call you, you just send them to voicemail. You ladies have no idea how much I was there for this man and to be treated like nothing hurts! I admit I was hurt, crushed even. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. I know I should have listened to the voices of reason in my life. But I was so hung up on how I messed it up the first time, and now he is back in my life that this time it is going to be different. Not even realizing that outside of what I did that relationship wasn't great in general. I'm also wondering if this was a ploy by him to get back at me for what I did, to reel me in and then drop me.

    I must admit there were red flags when he came back into my life, I started having these horrible dreams about horrible things happening to people. Now that it's over I keep having dreams about him and I can't sleep peacefully at night because I don't want to dream about him. I'm feeling better than what I was but I'm still kind of hurt.
     
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  20. Maracujá

    Maracujá Hair type: 4B - 11 years natural!!!

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    How is everyone doing? As I've mentioned before, I did not anticipate to be single in my thirties, so I'm trying to use this time I have constructively.

    I'm mostly working on honing my craft, discovering my purpose and improving my work ethic. Though I do not wish to work outside of the home should God grant me marriage, I really don't want having to find my purpose to be a hindrance to my relationship with future DH. Trying to juggle all that is what keeps women frazzled. So I'm working on that now so we can focus on other things later on :look:
     
  21. bellatiamarie

    bellatiamarie Well-Known Member

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    Nevermind....
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2017
  22. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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    I so sorry you had to get hurt by this butthead again.
    Let me just put some things out there, it's not you're fault. You were giving him another chance and that's not always a bad thing. Some people need that and start to shape up, some never learn and just want to play more games<-- ain't nobody got time for that. Shakespeare said forgive and forget, Jesus said forgive. What's important is that you take some time to heal, get out and live your life find hobbies, interests other things to occupy your free time. Don't let this guy make you bitter, sour you off men, or steal your joy, rebuke that little minion out of you're life forever in Jesus name.

    First you do need to forgive him, and forgive yourself, don't keep on re hashing it, and blaming yourself that's counterproductive and it's letting the enemy get a foothold in your life.
    This is a forgiveness prayer it will help you let it go "like Frozen" let go and let God.
    Here's a little prayer that helped me a lot hope it will help:
    Lord Jesus, please change -insert name here- so he/she/they will stop hurting me, and stop hurting anyone else and come to you Jesus, Amen!
    Also if you can't forgive him yet ask Jesus to do it for you. But the sooner you do the better you will feel and your life will be.
    You just repeat it anytime anywhere as many times as you need until the weight lifts. God bless you!
    Also Psalms 23 and Isaiah 61:1-3

    See post
    https://www.longhaircareforum.com/t...upport-the-remix.708315/page-35#post-23972931

    Ref:https://www.gotquestions.org/forgive-forget.html
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2017
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  23. mz.rae

    mz.rae Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much!! Your words really touched me, again thank you! :bighug:
     
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  24. mscurly

    mscurly Well-Known Member

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    Hey Ladies :wavey:

    It's been a while since I posted. But I check back here and there.

    I decided to come to accept being single and that I may be single for the rest of my life. I need to be okay with it and slowly I'm learning to do that. I'm focusing on growing as a person, growth in my career, and continue to just pursue Christ.

    Society tries to make you feel horrible for being single like there's something wrong with you. I know there's nothing wrong with me. I'm beautiful, smart, and have a lot going for myself. I don't say this to brag just being honest. I feel like a lot of single women get made to feel like it's their fault if they are single. I know for sure that's not my issue.

    I just refuse to settle or be in situations where I'm not appreciated just to say I have a man. I've tried online dating and men that I meet in person. Nothing has ever come to fruition. I've met guys who either just wanted to text back & forth and never call. Or guys who seem interested and want to exchange numbers but never call or follow up:nono2:
    Players, men who play games, No good exes looking for a come back :hand: You name it! Basically the reason I'm single is because no genuine Christ led man interested in a serious relationship has ever approached me. That's the bottom line.

    I've prayed about this for nearly 10 years now and nothing has changed. Except for my mindset. So I'm moving on with my life and looking forward to life as a single woman unashamed.
     
  25. Sweetg

    Sweetg Well-Known Member

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    @mscurly I could have wrote that myself. I've come to terms with singlehood as well. Nothing wrong with it. I'm taking this time to really get into my purpose,work on myself mentally-spiritually and physically. Life goes on...single or not. Ensure my affairs are in order.

    I'm ready to be in a serious relationship and when it's time...I'll be ready. When we're ready and aware of what we want, accepting the types of jokers you posted about is not even a thought.

    Prayers up for all of us!!
     
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  26. Lucia

    Lucia Well-Known Member

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  27. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    I'm not against dating but is having men on "rotation" truly good because you're bored with your evening or weekend? What about courtship? Can you do a courtship including several men at a time or are you practicing for one man at a time as an example of marriage for life? I personally wouldn't want to be known as the girl with a million guys in her life. And if you're not intimate with them (sex), do you still kiss them and let them rub up all on you? That's all I'm saying. I can see where some forms of "dating" can lead to the divorce mentality. People don't take their time with one man at a time. It might take several years to marry if you consider that it takes about 8 months to a year to truly get to know a person and if that doesn't work, it's about the same for the next man you're courting. Tough but true, imo. You can't rush things if you're on your own. If you have family vetting him and you and all things line up, you might marry earlier but most westerners don't have that system. It's like women are all on their own but regular dating (dudes lined up in rotation) imo is kinda gross (secular style).
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  28. Belle Du Jour

    Belle Du Jour Well-Known Member

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    I think a courtship is ideal but in the absence of this while waiting for the right man to step up, I don't see anything wrong with dating to get more comfortable interacting with men. Some people really do have relationship hang ups from lack of experience and dating can be a way to help with that. I don't define dating as the way the modern culture does. Dating doesn't mean being in a relationship--simply getting to know a person. I prefer group dates where a group of men and women go out. It takes the pressure off. One certainly doesn't need to kiss or get physically involved with everyone she is dating.
     
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  29. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    Just the "men in rotation" thig because I know that some are intimate with them. Not at all talking about innocent movie/dinner dates and such but "Mike" on Wednesdays and "Tony on Fridays and several others on the rest of the days. It's the polyandrous type of mentality of the "harem" and playing at life for fun. Not seriously looking for commitment. That's nothing any Christian should even consider being a part of imo... the Blanche Devereaux type of thing lol. It was a general observation. I'm not against dating itself but am personally against certain types of dating like that. It's just not for me and I'm honestly scared of it. I hope my kids listen to my instruction, G-d help us all. This world is so dangerous.

    Dating in college, yeah, I'd kiss guys. These days, I see no value in it other than physical and we know it can lead to sex. Funny how you change your mindset giving it a few years lol.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2017
  30. kanozas

    kanozas se ven las caras pero nunca el corazón

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    ...which brings me to another thought about dating under the Coptic Christians. Traditionally, they can't "date" but can only court and they go through some kind of process to have it blessed and to remain in good standing with the faith. I was reading up on it a few years ago. You know they are heavily chaperoned while on dates hehe. But I'm finding that a lot of young people are ignoring it now. I think people need some freedom according to the society they live in today but, at the same time, there are some good protections built into such a thing. On the one hand, I'd like to get with someone who is marriage-minded and seeking that right now. On the other, who wants to be "stuck" with someone you're not sure about, even for a few months of dating? Argh, I hate thinking about this stuff lol!
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2017

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