Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by Glib Gurl, Nov 10, 2013.
This message blessed me YEARS ago and now the full version is on YT Long but worth it.
update: I was just sitting on the couch while visiting my mom, and he called me. I did not answer the phone. an hour later he texted asking for 5 minutes of my time, "whenever". I did not respond. I have not heard from him since April ! I can't believe he's calling me. he must need a kidney.
Yay! I'm so glad to hear you didn't answer. If you happen to get the urge to see what he wants, think about the reason why you two aren't talking in the first place. Also remind yourself that he is not the type of man that you'd want to date.
He needs to be worrying about his girlfriend, not texting you
Can you block him from your phone? Seriously, He’s a distraction, an Ishmael he doesn’t deserve any of your time.
The quote above is from the good news thread and I just wanted to apply it to our love life as singlistas. All of 2017 I worked for an insurance company in the capital city, it was a one year contract with possibility of becoming a permanent job. Despite the fact that I had an average of 80% for all my evaluations, I knew the vibe was off and that they would come up with some excuse not to keep me. That is exactly what happened.
So after I got the news, I went home and immediately sent out ONE e-mail to the company for which I worked in 2015. I also applied for another company just in case. Not too long after, I got the call from the daughter who is now in charge of the family company that I could come by for an interview and just take a few tests, so I did. Literally a week and half later, I was back at work. During our interview she asked me if I had applied for other jobs and I explained to her that I hadn't sent out too many resumés at all. She said: "Good, sending out too many resumés and always being rejected can kill your self-esteem."
This got me thinking about our love life and this video (caution: foul language). We really only need ONE, yet we keep casting our nets so wide, for no good reason whatsoever.
#Letthemgo #letthemwalk #TDJakes
Is there room in this thread for someone who wants to be purposefully single for a full year?
Meaning absolutely no dating, no talking, no getting to know anyone, no going out with the intention of meeting anyone, no talking to ex bfs lol.
Nothing beyond platonic.
No sadness about being alone.
I've been repeating lessons lately and I want a break from the up and down.
It's going to be difficult for me. I've never done anything like this, but I feel like I need to.
My purpose for this year is to get to know myself and get to know God.
I still don't have a true relationship with Him. It ocurred to me lately that my relationship with Him needs to be nurtured like any other relationship.
Welcome @beingofserenity! There’s always room for more. We are here to support each other throughout every part of the journey.
Really what is going on here I keep getting approached by such obvious Ishmaels I mean they’re not even good Ishmaels that check off some of the must haves and deal breakers on my list (my list isn’t long btw) I only made a specific list last year cause I was getting straight ninjas (no income no job no assets and positive attributes) or nice prof men who were emotionally or spiritually bankrupt. The ones I see trying to approach me I can see the wheels turning in their heads from go.
Besides I’m only offering anyone aquaintence-ship then friendship only if you’re not crazy emotionally and or spiritually bankrupt, a player have a live in GF or have one or multiple baby mamma situations. I don’t get it, this is not what I’ve been focused on or praying for at all. I’ve been working on myself inside and out the total makeover so I can be mostly ready when my God appt hubby comes.
Anyways rant done.
Of course there’s room there’s no limit. We’re all here to support and help each other. Your post above is what I’ve basically been doing for the past 3 years. I’m not even entertaining a man as a friend if you don’t meet my minimums as in any deal breakers we don’t proceed to friendship.
I can totally relate. I've been dating more lately after almost 2 years of silence. It was like I was hidden from the opposite sex and now the covers are off and men are approaching me again. Which to be honest is a nice feeling. However like you said I'm looking for a husband and praying for certain things and the men I've come in contact with have not fit those requirements.
I'm getting tired of meeting a bunch of guys only to dismiss them shortly after because their not the one. When I decided to become celibate and wait on The Lord for my husband, I thought he would just show up and that'd be the end of it. No more dating......
I hear you. We shouldn’t get discouraged even though these people keep approaching.
I’m praying that there will be a way or some confirmation from God distinguishes the one from the riff raff I guess these guys not having the minimums is a way but I’ve dealt with. Really good Ishmaels before those jokers are slick and will pretend to respect you’re beliefs only to look for your weakness and try to wear you down. They’re selfish predators that’s exactly why I stopped dating altogether I just got turns off by the whole “game” and won’t be “dating” again friendships then courtship yes. I don’t want my a BF just to pass the time or so I’m not alone going to functions I was never into that despite harsh scrutiny and pressure from people around me. I got rid of a lot of so called friends. Now I’m only entertaining people who are uplifting.
Dont if this was posted already
I am currently redeveloping my relationship with Christ, so I know I am not ready to seriously start looking for a Christian husband. But I am interested in learning from you ladies on how to interact with Christian men and how to be courted properly so I can be prepared later on down the road.
These are photographs of my favorite bookshop in my city. It's also not too far from my home. On January 2nd I visited the shop on the left, where there used to be a pharmacy. Apparently they've come to the conclusion that greeting cards and books have more healing potential than medication HA.
Anyhoo, here's how the conversation went when I walked in:
Me: Madam, are those the Moleskine notebooks on the table?
Cashier: No, these are actually the predecessors of the Moleskine notebooks.
Me: :0. May I ask you one more question?
Cashier: Of course!
Me: Are you in any way affiliated with the bookshop next door, the Limerick?
Cashier: Yes, we are husband and wife.
This may seem mundane to some of you, but it gave me so much hope. When one has been single for a long time, you start to question your dreams about love and whether you should maybe lower your aspirations a little. But here is a modern couple that is redefining what it means to be in a relationship in the 21st century. They work next door to each other, the husband probably helped her financially open up her shop, they both have a passion for books and so much more. Keep dreaming ladies, dream real & big dreams.
Beautiful story, and those shops look so pretty and picturesque they should be on postcards. I love ❤️ little boutiques mom and pop shops they have the unique finds.
Watching this series eye opening whether married or single and needed this young Pastor is bold.
Just wanted to get this out here so you ladies can watch out for these type of predetory men, and I use them the term men loosely.
So here it is:
First I would never entertain this guy he has major obvious mood swings and personality changes like he’s bi-polar, he thinks voodoo and witchcraft aren’t evil it’s just another way to live (and claims he’s a Christian )because it’s part of carribean and South American history, and to me he’s unattractive but attractive or not I would not be entertaining this man ever. Those are just things I casually observed in his interactions with me and others, also he stated in convo to someone else my wife etc...also there’s a Strict no dating policy at work, you date a coworker even in another dept you get termed, period! (keep this in mind)
I was approached by this guy at our workplace talking about wanna be my friend, see a movie, go to a club, I can introduce you to my friends, can I text you?, do you hang out, etc... like we’re in HS again.
Now after getting over being disgusted and offended I thought this 40 something guy just wants to waste my time,
My replies were:
No I don’t want to go with you to: see a movie, I’m not the clubbing type, what are your friends a bunch of guys?, what for?, No, I don’t have time to “hang out”
Oh you wouldn’t ask me that if I was a woman, men and women can hang out it’s no big deal. I found out from a co worker that he’s been trying to talk to several other women at the workplace and confirmed that he’s married (he didn’t know I knew) Btw he couldn’t answer a simple question are you married, single, live in GF, the first time before I talked to other coworkers he said he had a girlfriend live in but it’s on and off, now it’s off. (This is after I heard him say wife in convo to someone else and before I confirmed with some women co workers)
Then another day when he started with the same topic I asked again, He hemmed and hawed and finally said (get this) I’m married but it’s off and on, and what if I wasn’t married? Really, but you ARE MARRIED! -WTH! the gaul of this guy.
At best he’ll be actively blocking anyone who IS interested in me who’s serious and actually single and available and wants a real relationship with me in the future, at worst he just wants a doorway in so he can set up camp and turn me into his whore jump off, side piece, concubine, mistress, adulteress. The ONLY reason this guy even has access to me is because we work in the same place otherwise I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Finally he comes up with you don’t trust me? But I’m a nice guy? I thought Really cause the eveidence says your a liar, a cheater, and a time waister while I walked away. He doesn’t know that I’m not the one! For real!
There’s everything for me to lose and nothing to gain in this situation if I were to even entertain him and his BS and there’s everything for him to gain ie using me. Anyways I just thought this would be a good topic to expose these fools out here trying to deceive and use women. It’s one thing to know what you’re getting into beforehand and making that choice, which is the wrong choice.
If those coworkers hadn’t talked in front of me I wouldn’t have known and could have been in a messy dangerous situation, not to mention that kind of deceit turns unsuspecting women into adulteress without their knowledge and places upon them and their future descendants serious curses, torment and opens a door to familial spirits that wreck havoc in the family. I don’t know what kind of test this is or is it just unnecessary drama I don’t have time for especially not at work.
Pray for me ladies that this guy leaves me alone.
Definition of adultery
noun: adultery; plural noun: adulteries
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.
"she was committing adultery with a much younger man"
synonyms: infidelity, unfaithfulness, falseness, disloyalty, cuckoldry, extramarital sex; More
affair, liaison, fling, amour;
informalcarrying-on, hanky-panky, two-timing, a bit on the side, fooling around, playing around, dirty weekend
"his adultery finally caught up with him"
*In the Bible the other unmarried person participant is also an adulterer or adulteress.
"“You must not commit adultery."
"I have seen your adultery and lust, and your disgusting idol worship out in the fields and on the hills. What sorrow awaits you, Jerusalem! How long before you are pure?”"
"Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."
"Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,"
-1 Corinthians 6:9
"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."
-1 Corinthians 6:18
"But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself."
^^^Thank you so much for sharing @Lucia. Had a similar experience a few years back and just like you, the only thing that saved me was using discernment. When I was younger I just assumed that everyone who hit on me, was single. Now I know better, so after checking the guy's FB and seeing a picture of a woman in a white dress AND then asking him, I found out he was married. He lives in South Africa or something like that, but was here working on his PhD, I immediately cut the contact between us. So much peace came from that.
Right now people are hurrying me to get with someone, since it's obvious now to even so called Christians and friends that I've been single for quite some time. I'm praying to not let that affect me. There are so many booby traps that are planted by the enemy in our love life. I refuse to be presumptuous and think it can't happen to me. It's becoming clear to me that I was chosen for prolonged singleness so He can use me.
I've fallen prey to predatory men in the past, they were all non-believers. It's normal that I attracted them because I was lukewarm myself. They used me for physical actions, money and sharing parts of my mind that should only be available to my Isaac. The tests become harder as we get older, but that's because God wants to see if we maintain that childlike faith and live up to the expectations He has placed on our love life. Let's continue to share some more tips.
So.... The guitarist from my church that I told y’all about is getting married in August I’m laughing but I feel a certain way about it but can’t really pinpoint one specific emotion. A part of me feels relieved because I had a feeling he was Ishmael for me. I also kinda was feeling like he was in a hurry to be married anyway and if I wasn’t the one to fall in line he would find somebody to and quickly. And another part of me feels sadness. I’m not going to lie—I shed a tear or two . But I feel a bit of sadness for me not for the loss of him if that makes sense but because... well... here I am yet again. But I have hope that I will be OK and ultimately know that everything ain’t for everybody but I also know that there’s somebody for me. So, me and God will be nurturing a small wound to my heart for a little bit but I will survive!
I should’ve followed my first mind in this situation then finding out he was getting married wouldve been a non-factor for me right now. Even though we had a little back and forth, I did invest a little too much time and energy into that situation. So, now I’m left with a few ambivalent feelings when I shouldn’t feel no two ways about it all.
Holy Spirit has been revealing so much in my life and the opening of my eyes has been so rewarding in each and every situation. These revelations just remind me that He is protecting me. At the beginning of this year I decided that I would intentionally not date and I would not entertain a man in any way until my 34th birthday in October. I really have some soul searching to do. I feel like I’ve been soul searching for a very long time but honestly I need God more than I need a husband or a relationship so I’m going to be obedient and continue building my house on The Solid Rock.
It’s natural to feel something but you’re right just keep focusing on God. Hope you feel better.
That’s why we have to be more careful with our hearts for most women it’s easy to catch feelings but I’m glad you stuck to your instincts.
Yes you’re right.... It’s a heart issue. That’s the same thing the Holy Spirit revealed to me in prayer.
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
I keep getting certain lessons over and over because I don’t listen to God. I try to take the reigns and do it all myself and then I end up falling. I have to conquer this lesson right here because I’m tiiiiied of it so tired.
This is an excerpt from the Bollywood movie Barsaat I believe:
P: How do you say 'divorce' in Hindi?
P: Wrong answer. 'Talaak' is not Hindi, it is Urdu. It's a word the Pakistani borrowed from the Muslims.
We do not have a word for 'divorce' in Hindi, because we do not believe in it.
Did some more research on it and this is what I could find: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-word-for-divorce-in-Hindi-or-Sanskrit. Apparently they had to invent a word in 1955, because of what was happening in society. It did not exist prior to that time. Can't wait to do more research on it. I know it's not from Christian culture, but I just thought it would be interesting during this #lovemonth.
Check out the Old and new Testament about “divorce” too