• Forum Upgraded: https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/recent-forum-upgrade.849851/

To go back to the creamy white stuff

Help me decide

  • Stay Natural

    Votes: 1 9.1%
  • Do you.. try something new.

    Votes: 10 90.9%
  • Other - share in comments

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    11

Amour

Well-Known Member
I feel like starting this topic is bringing negativity to a space which has taken a long time for many to collectively come to BUT I'm missing my hair!

I've been natural for about 5 years and I've worn my natural hair out precisely 1 time! I'm tired of hiding my hair under a wig but I don't have the time, energy or desire for the extra detangling and styling that natural hair entails.

I've already ordered Liscio but I'm getting cold feet now.

What do I do? Stick to the wigs and shake off the feeling or go ahead and try out the Liscio, it's only hair after all?
 

ItsMeLilLucky

Aka Giveme D’Monee
Do whatever gives you peace. I learned a long time ago, it’s okay to change your mind. What’s the point of having natural hair if you never wear it out? Maybe you could try the Liscio on one part of your hair to see if you like it. If you like it, then go for the whole shebang. If not, you can grow it out under your wig lol.
 

Theresamonet

Well-Known Member
Don’t think of it as negativity. This is a hair board, and you’re discussing hair. As long as you aren’t being derogatory towards natural hair, speak about your experiences and don’t generalize, there shouldn’t be a problem.

I’m team natural with a caveat, which is: do what works for you. If natural hair is not making you feel happy, confident, sexy, etc... if it’s making you feel overwhelmed, tired and stressed, then it’s probably time to find an alternative.

I think it’s first important to examine why you have cold feet. Is it because you do love your natural hair and would rather keep it, if you could manage it more easily? Or is the cold feet because you’re worried about how you’ll be perceived if you’re no longer a part of the “natural hair community”?

If it’s the latter: shake that off, and relax your hair. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. It’s your hair, your life, your time.

If it’s the former: I would hold off, and do a bit more experimenting with my hair. If you always keep it under wigs, then you really haven’t had the opportunity to really form a relationship with your hair. Go wigless for the summer. Put all you got, whatever it takes, into caring for and styling it. See how you feel by fall.

Also, people don’t have any issue going to a stylist to get their hair straightened, or get their wigs/weaves styled, but when it comes to natural hair, everyone assumes they must diy. Go to a stylist biweekly to have your natural hair done, and you won’t have to bother with the maintenance. You don’t even need to own many products.
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
Don’t think of it as negativity. This is a hair board, and you’re discussing hair. As long as you aren’t being derogatory towards natural hair, speak about your experiences and don’t generalize, there shouldn’t be a problem.

I’m team natural with a caveat, which is: do what works for you. If natural hair is not making you feel happy, confident, sexy, etc... if it’s making you feel overwhelmed, tired and stressed, then it’s probably time to find an alternative.

I think it’s first important to examine why you have cold feet. Is it because you do love your natural hair and would rather keep it, if you could manage it more easily? Or is the cold feet because you’re worried about how you’ll be perceived if you’re no longer a part of the “natural hair community”?

If it’s the latter: shake that off, and relax your hair. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. It’s your hair, your life, your time.

If it’s the former: I would hold off, and do a bit more experimenting with my hair. If you always keep it under wigs, then you really haven’t had the opportunity to really form a relationship with your hair. Go wigless for the summer. Put all you got, whatever it takes, into caring for and styling it. See how you feel by fall.

Also, people don’t have any issue going to a stylist to get their hair straightened, or get their wigs/weaves styled, but when it comes to natural hair, everyone assumes they must diy. Go to a stylist biweekly to have your natural hair done, and you won’t have to bother with the maintenance. You don’t even need to own many products.
I have no issue IRL have chemically altered hair, I don't think anyone would have anything derogatory to say.

I'm having cold feet because I love my natural hair, love that I have been able to be natural for so long, that I'm not reliant on chemicals, collectively love to see black women embracing their natural hair. Aesthetically speaking 4a/b is my favourite type of hair! However my life is busy and demanding and I am tired, my hair is so neglected, I know I don't have the time or energy to maintain which was fine before but I'm right now I'm missing my hair.
 

Rocky91

NYE side boob.
I am all about BW feeling free and comfortable with their hair and getting away from the wigs/weaves, so if you think that relaxing is going to allow you to do that with ease, you should feel no qualms about doing it

However, it sounds like you prefer the aesthetics of natural hair, and I can relate to that. I have been tempted to try out relaxers here and there, but honestly, I really think my best look is a big braidout fro so I couldn't do it.

So in that case, I would encourage you to troubleshoot and see if you can pinpoint how to make your routine more simple while wearing your hair out. I don't mean to sound disparaging to anyone's more complicated routine if that's what works for them, but really, all natural hair needs is cleansing, conditioning, and styling at least 1x/week. This will reduce tangling and your detangling will be quite straightforward. How do you prefer to wear your hair? I can wear a braidout/twistout/rod set for an entire week without any kind of restyling. It took a little time to figure out the best combos, but it was worth it because now I have my preferred look 24/7 with very little hassle.
 

Rocky91

NYE side boob.
Some general commentary, not directed at you OP: This thread is the perfect example of the downside to 24/7 protective styling culture. I really believe there is a critical mass of year 3-5 naturals that have never really worn their hair out for an extended period of time and are now frustrated with it. And then when they search for the "how" on YouTube, they might end up down a rabbit hole of complex routines and kitchen DIYs that could be quite off-putting. I had to explain to a family member the other day that the rice water and all of that **** is NOT necessary for her to be natural, lol. She really thought she was about to embark on a venture that can sometimes be presented as a whole second job because of YouTube.

I just gave her some quick advice for a 1-hour routine and now she is so so happy with her hair.
Deep condition on dry hair (because nobody has time for shower hopping)
Shampoo/condition
Style with one product, done.
 

Lylddlebit

Well-Known Member
Wear you hair how you enjoy it. Hair on a woman is meant to be the crown she enjoys wearing. I understand short-term sacrifices for an end goal but you don't have to force yourself natural to love your hair and have a healthy head full of it. Stay natural if you enjoy and will manage your natural hair but if you will manage you processed hair better then that is likely the better choice for you.
 
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Lylddlebit

Well-Known Member
Some general commentary, not directed at you OP: This thread is the perfect example of the downside to 24/7 protective styling culture. I really believe there is a critical mass of year 3-5 naturals that have never really worn their hair out for an extended period of time and are now frustrated with it. And then when they search for the "how" on YouTube, they might end up down a rabbit hole of complex routines and kitchen DIYs that could be quite off-putting. I had to explain to a family member the other day that the rice water and all of that **** is NOT necessary for her to be natural, lol. She really thought she was about to embark on a venture that can sometimes be presented as a whole second job because of YouTube.

I just gave her some quick advice for a 1-hour routine and now she is so so happy with her hair.
Deep condition on dry hair (because nobody has time for shower hopping)
Shampoo/condition
Style with one product, done.
Yeah being a slave to your hair, natural or relaxed, is no fun. The best medium has your hair looking good while you enjoy it.
 

Alta Angel

Well-Known Member
During the pandemic, I strictly did the basics. My routine had been pared down anyway, but I really kept it simple. I washed and conditioned my hair every 2-3 weeks, moisturized it 2 times a week, put some Blue Magic(!) grease on my scalp, and kept my hair in braids. It was almost like my texture had changed. My hair was so soft, lush and thick during the pandemic that I was almost hesitant to start my locs. When I think about my marathon wash days, sleeping in conditioner, and being a product junkie, I truly appreciate doing less.

Some general commentary, not directed at you OP: This thread is the perfect example of the downside to 24/7 protective styling culture. I really believe there is a critical mass of year 3-5 naturals that have never really worn their hair out for an extended period of time and are now frustrated with it. And then when they search for the "how" on YouTube, they might end up down a rabbit hole of complex routines and kitchen DIYs that could be quite off-putting. I had to explain to a family member the other day that the rice water and all of that **** is NOT necessary for her to be natural, lol. She really thought she was about to embark on a venture that can sometimes be presented as a whole second job because of YouTube.

I just gave her some quick advice for a 1-hour routine and now she is so so happy with her hair.
Deep condition on dry hair (because nobody has time for shower hopping)
Shampoo/condition
Style with one product, done.
 
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NaturalEnigma

Well-Known Member
After 5 years of only wearing your hair out 1 time, it seems like you may like the thought of natural hair and how it looks on others but you don’t like it for yourself. Which is perfectly okay.

I know you’re saying you don’t have time to do your hair and I believe you. We are all busy with lives, family, jobs, etc, but just like people who want to lose weight, go to school, (insert whatever goal) it takes intention and purpose. Relaxed hair is not going to be a walk in the park either. You’ll have to develop a regimen, deal with breakage, style it and keep it healthy too. So you have to ask yourself, if you’re really that busy, maybe wearing wigs is the best option for your lifestyle. Some people can’t be bothered with doing their hair. My other suggestion would be to relax it, but I’m concerned you’ll be overwhelmed by the upkeep, start wearing wigs again and end up with transitioned hair.
 

TLC1020

Well-Known Member
Do whatever you want to do, Sis! That's your hair... I was natural for two years and it was not for me, my stylist was like, just come to me so I can style and treat it. I said but I should not have to come to you just to make my hair look nice, I should be able to style my own hair and it look nice.
I am relaxed and don't give a [email protected] what anyone think..
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
After 5 years of only wearing your hair out 1 time, it seems like you may like the thought of natural hair and how it looks on others but you don’t like it for yourself. Which is perfectly okay.

I know you’re saying you don’t have time to do your hair and I believe you. We are all busy with lives, family, jobs, etc, but just like people who want to lose weight, go to school, (insert whatever goal) it takes intention and purpose. Relaxed hair is not going to be a walk in the park either. You’ll have to develop a regimen, deal with breakage, style it and keep it healthy too. So you have to ask yourself, if you’re really that busy, maybe wearing wigs is the best option for your lifestyle. Some people can’t be bothered with doing their hair. My other suggestion would be to relax it, but I’m concerned you’ll be overwhelmed by the upkeep, start wearing wigs again and end up with transitioned hair.
I'm hoping to achieve a curl using liscio so hopefully I'll be able to do wash and go's. I'm busy for natural hair lol.. my wash days take all day, detangling, styling, putting up for bed etc. I've been relaxed and texlaxed and imo the time and commitment requirement is not the same.
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
Do whatever you want to do, Sis! That's your hair... I was natural for two years and it was not for me, my stylist was like, just come to me so I can style and treat it. I said but I should not have to come to you just to make my hair look nice, I should be able to style my own hair and it look nice.
I am relaxed and don't give a [email protected] what anyone think..
Same!

I could go to the salon every 6 weeks and get a press but I miss the enjoyment I used to get from maintaining my own hair. The salon could just be another crutch similar to the wigs.
 
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