kikigirl
Well-Known Member
Hi fellow sisters,
I have an issue that has been causing me a lot of pain, and I really need to deal with it so that resentment does not grow.
I have many friends and acquaintances: blacks, whites, and various shades in between. These are also people from all around the world (I'm an African immigrant myself).
In recent weeks, I've grown so frustrated about people's reactions on FB. My African immigrants friends (mostly Ph.D./professional degrees holders) are mostly about shaming AAs. They point out the troubles in the AA community, and say AAs should work on "getting their act together", obey the law, marry before having kids, etc... I can see why an African immigrant can think "all it takes is hard work." However, even those of us who grew up under difficult contexts were not racially discriminated against. Through my AA friends, who have many racially-based issues that I can't readily identify with, I have learned to empathize and now understand, at least to a point, how it may take an AA kid who grew up in the projects extra emotional strength to overcome things that are not even on my radar, even though we are both black.
The second group that really aggravates me (and the real object of this post), is that of my white Christian friends/acquaintances, and even family members (my husband is white).
I shared a message from Russell Moore on my FB page. It admonished white Christians to listen to their black brothers and sisters. It was a short blurb, with testimonies from various AA pastors. It was ignored completely. My throngs of white Christian friends, acquaintances, and family members scrolled past it. I know many of these folks; they volunteer at shelters where blacks sleep. We had at some point been part of the same small group, or attended the same church, worked or volunteered together. They have black people in their lives, and may even talk about racial matters around the dinner table. But they can't "go public" in front of other whites.
They bristle at anything that may come across as a judgment on whites about racial matters, especially from a black person. I was relaying a white evangelical leader's message. A former pastor of mine (he is white) shared the same message (I actually got it from his page), and his post elicited a constructive conversation. So I came out of that incident really angry at my white Christian friends and family members. Sometimes, it's not enough to act. If you wash black people's feet every Sunday, but can't even say a word in front of other white folks when there is an injustice on a black person, then your silence makes you an accomplice.
Am I overreacting?
DH has been doing a lot of the admonishing on FB. I bet him that he would receive a lot of the knee-jerk "obey the law and you'll be fine" responses and he didn't believe me. People either stay silent or engage to say "...but the stats show..." A few actually empathize and admit there is problem.
How are your white Christian friends and acquaintances reacting to these cases?
I have an issue that has been causing me a lot of pain, and I really need to deal with it so that resentment does not grow.
I have many friends and acquaintances: blacks, whites, and various shades in between. These are also people from all around the world (I'm an African immigrant myself).
In recent weeks, I've grown so frustrated about people's reactions on FB. My African immigrants friends (mostly Ph.D./professional degrees holders) are mostly about shaming AAs. They point out the troubles in the AA community, and say AAs should work on "getting their act together", obey the law, marry before having kids, etc... I can see why an African immigrant can think "all it takes is hard work." However, even those of us who grew up under difficult contexts were not racially discriminated against. Through my AA friends, who have many racially-based issues that I can't readily identify with, I have learned to empathize and now understand, at least to a point, how it may take an AA kid who grew up in the projects extra emotional strength to overcome things that are not even on my radar, even though we are both black.
The second group that really aggravates me (and the real object of this post), is that of my white Christian friends/acquaintances, and even family members (my husband is white).
I shared a message from Russell Moore on my FB page. It admonished white Christians to listen to their black brothers and sisters. It was a short blurb, with testimonies from various AA pastors. It was ignored completely. My throngs of white Christian friends, acquaintances, and family members scrolled past it. I know many of these folks; they volunteer at shelters where blacks sleep. We had at some point been part of the same small group, or attended the same church, worked or volunteered together. They have black people in their lives, and may even talk about racial matters around the dinner table. But they can't "go public" in front of other whites.
They bristle at anything that may come across as a judgment on whites about racial matters, especially from a black person. I was relaying a white evangelical leader's message. A former pastor of mine (he is white) shared the same message (I actually got it from his page), and his post elicited a constructive conversation. So I came out of that incident really angry at my white Christian friends and family members. Sometimes, it's not enough to act. If you wash black people's feet every Sunday, but can't even say a word in front of other white folks when there is an injustice on a black person, then your silence makes you an accomplice.
Am I overreacting?
DH has been doing a lot of the admonishing on FB. I bet him that he would receive a lot of the knee-jerk "obey the law and you'll be fine" responses and he didn't believe me. People either stay silent or engage to say "...but the stats show..." A few actually empathize and admit there is problem.
How are your white Christian friends and acquaintances reacting to these cases?