White Men's Interest in Black Women's Hair....

[Freespirit02]

Yes white men love my puff! It catches me off guard every time. I think they like it more than black men..in my experience.

 

[natura87]

Maybe this is not really answering the question and I am going off on a tangent, but here goes: I find it very perplexing that so many black women wear wigs and weaves. Maybe I can sorta understand the ones who have snatch-bald length, but even a lot who have SL-hair resort to them. It is especially perplexing to me why women, who are members here, and have a knowledge-base at their fingertips to grow long hair, would put something fake on their head. Learn to love what you got.

I guess I am just really frustrated because I just started my LHJ, and I have only worn a weave once (and that was after I had experienced some breakage and was going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. I did not like it, I took it out after a few days because I could not stand the itching). I have always been content with my SL-hair. Now that I have the knowledge that would hopefully one day lead me to the length I desire, most people, black and white, will question if my hair is 'really mine' because so many other black women use fake hair.

I do not mean to judge anyone but I will be glad when more black women stop wearing fake hair. I mean what is the point of joining this board and going on a LHCJ if you are just going to continue to wear fake hair on your head. Nobody except immediate family will know the difference - and certainly not co-workers anyway, unless you tell them.

Outsiders ask questions and you may answer them and get a polite response back. I know some of them are well-meaning, but there are others who ask and when you tell them it is not your real hair, they are snickering inside. How are we, as black women, ever going to debunk the myth about our hair not being able to grow beyond SL if, even when we do have long hair, we still go back to what is comfortable and slap on fake hair? What is the point of growing hair to MBL or WL if you are still going to wear a wig/weave? You are going to keep paying $300 for somebody's hair!?

I know I am about to get slammed right now but this is something that has been on my chest for a while now and you are free to disagree if you like.

I agree with you and I think the people that are getting defensive don't want to be lumped in with those that wear weave becuase they dont know what to do.Most people arent going to assume that that one person is taking caring of their real hair under the weave when most of the people they may see have busted hair. What you are saying has some truth to it and instead of accepting it people get upset and think you are talking about them personally. Its a defense mechanism, let it roll off your back like a duck.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I agree with you and I think the people that are getting defensive don't want to be lumped in with those that wear weave becuase they dont know what to do.Most people arent going to assume that that one person is taking caring of their real hair under the weave when most of the people they may see have busted hair. What you are saying has some truth to it and instead of accepting it people get upset and think you are talking about them personally. Its a defense mechanism, let it roll off your back like a duck.

Hmm. I didn't detect much defensiveness in response to her post. I think folks were just clarifying the issue, because she's a newbie and might not yet understand how LHCF rolls when it comes to protective styles.

Personally, I have no beef. I know some folks will think it's crazy for a WL woman to wear a wig. Sometimes I think it's crazy too, lol. I don't own a single wig as long as my real hair, because it looks too fake! lol It can feel crazy when you go against the grain, but that doesn't mean that it IS crazy to march to the beat of your own drum.

 

[luvbighair]

I'm wearing HC Creole Curly (don't crucify me). I do have BSL hair lol.

But I usually pull it back into a bun, no biggie, but I actually took the time to do it for the first time (shingle in some EcoStyler gel) in a few weeks. A professor (older, white) did a double-take and kind of gave me an approving smile. I don't have any classes with him, but I could tell he liked what he saw. He proceeded to chit chat with me about absolutely nothing!

 

[natura87]

Hmm. I didn't detect much defensiveness in response to her post. I think folks were just clarifying the issue, because she's a newbie and might not yet understand how LHCF rolls when it comes to protective styles.

Personally, I have no beef. I know some folks will think it's crazy for a WL woman to wear a wig. Sometimes I think it's crazy too, lol. I don't own a single wig as long as my real hair, because it looks too fake! lol It can feel crazy when you go against the grain, but that doesn't mean that it IS crazy to march to the beat of your own drum.

IMO, it looked like people were ganging up on her because she is a newb and they may assume that she doesnt know what she is talking about. I was a newb once and I knew quite a bit. I don't wear fake hair anymore, and I didnt really up until I was 18, so I have only worn it for maybe 3 to 4 years. I think people should rock their hair at any length and when I see people resorting to weaves and lacefronts consistently yes I do think that odds are they don't know how to take care of their hair. Some of them might, but not enough of them do. What some people fail to realize is that LHCF is not the real world, what you see on LHCF are women that use weave and lacefronts as an OPTION whereas outside of LHCF and other hair forums it may be seen as an outright necessity, so yes when I see someone in a weave 24/7 especially when they are past SL yes I am going to assume. There is protective styling and then there is the norm outside of hair forums.

 

[kmn1980]

This was kinda interesting, as to look at this man, you'd never think he'd know anything about "kinky" hair. Older, affluent, white male...funny
.

Of course he'd know. They know our hair ain't naturally straight.

To answer your question, I used to get that a lot from white boys back in my swimming days. One even asked if he could touch my underarm hair (phuckin' weirdo). I told him no because I shave regularly. We were on the same swim team and he would follow me around all.the.time. White boys would be all over me...I hated it.

These days I only associate with them when I do business but I occasionally catch random ones staring at me in public.

 

[chocolat79]

Of course he'd know. They know our hair ain't naturally straight.

To answer your question, I used to get that a lot from white boys back in my swimming days. One even asked if he could touch my underarm hair (phuckin' weirdo). I told him no because I shave regularly. We were on the same swim team and he would follow me around all.the.time. White boys would be all over me...I hated it.

These days I only associate with them when I do business but I occasionally catch random ones staring at me in public.

I think I was more amused at the term, moreso than the definition. Most WP I've run into will say curly or natural (maybe), mostly curly or small curls or something. I don't even know many BP who actually use the term "kinky" in reference to our hair. That's why I put it in quotes like that. But I understand what you're saying.

At the second part, um, that's just weird.

 

[chocolat79]

Guy #3 (in the OP) came in today. He's going to be shocked when I stop wearing my wigs! LOL...he's still fawning over this wig, Lord, LOL.

To Mari-Cris: I appreciate your thoughts and like the other ladies mentioned, I wear my wigs for PS and mostly just at work. I take it off at home and anytime I'm not at work. I've worn weaves a few times before and I like them too, but it's hard to take care of my hair the way I like to, so I prefer wigs. The other ladies are absolutely correct in that on this board, PS is usually why wigs/weaves are worn. TBH, I couldn't care less about what people think about how/why I wear wigs/weaves. As my mother tells me, "sometimes you just have to be satisfied in knowing the truth." So, as long as I know my hair is growing and is protected, then I'm good. If it's not an assumption about my hair, it'll be about my attitude or (insert random assumption), so whatevs to that.

If I wasn't on this board and heard you say that, I'd tend to agree. You'll learn the ropes around here and the best ways to grow your hair that work for you and your lifestyle. The ladies were actually pretty nice about it, LOL. I think this is probably one of the few forums (the hair forum) that is pretty non-judgmental when it comes to people's methods of growing hair. So, if you get called on the carpet for some things (especially a PS), it's because hair is such a personal journey, there is no wrong/right way to do it as long as the goal is accomplished.

 

[EllePixie]

Of course he'd know. They know our hair ain't naturally straight.

To answer your question, I used to get that a lot from white boys back in my swimming days. One even asked if he could touch my underarm hair (phuckin' weirdo). I told him no because I shave regularly. We were on the same swim team and he would follow me around all.the.time. White boys would be all over me...I hated it.

These days I only associate with them when I do business but I occasionally catch random ones staring at me in public.

Okay first that's just strange...but ya know, you would be surprised at how many White people do not know that Black hair isn't naturally straight...they may know more now because Black hair care is often in the spotlight...but when I was younger (and I'm not that old)...not at all...in college I said something to my White boyfriend about relaxing my hair and he had no idea that my hair was not naturally straight like he always saw it....I have also had to explain straightening and relaxers to other White friends and would LOL when they would look at me puzzled like, "Wait...your hair isn't straight?"

And I don't think people were getting defensive about the wigs/weave posts...most understand that outside of the hair forums many women do not know how to care for their hair under that weave or wig, but this isn't IRL, this is a hair forum...so why make the declaration in the place where the stereotype doesn't apply?

 

[LivingDol1]

when the topic of my hair comes up with white guys, it's usually about my braids. actually when anyone asks me about my hair it's always about my braids because i wear them so long. some people do know me with and without braids... so they ask if they're extensions, etc etc.

i had one boy in my office be so enthralled with my braids. i had taken out my braids after a long trip and when i returned i was wearing my hair relaxed, straight, APLish. he commented that i had changed my hair and he sounded a little disappointed. then he asked me if i had gotten Japanese straightening done while I was in Asia (um.. first of all i was in HK and china! secondly, who the F would fly to Asia to get their hair straightened when we have creamy crack in america?). Poor thing. I did not mock his ignorance.

i've also only seriously dated white guys. 2 of the 3 loved my braids. 1 of the 3 wished that i would take them out and recalled a time where i had my hair in a long ponytail (uhh, the only time i ever wore tracks...). i thought it was crazy that he would make a request for me to change my hair. i never did. we broke up a short time later.

the most smart a** question i get from ANYONE, regardless of race, sex, etc is if the braids are mine. I always tell them yes, i paid for them, so they are mine.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Everybody has interest in Black women's hair. If you ask me it's the most interesting hair. They even made a movie on it lol. Damn you Chris Rock. Trying to tell the world black women are ashamed of their natural hair and that we steal hair from old indian women. And if we can't do that we pour dangerous chemicals on it, to look white. Sheesh, talk about selling your people to make some money. SMH (he needs to join LHCF for real.. or get his daughter an account here since he made that so called ''movie'' for her)

To answer your question. The next time I hear a white person calling me exotic.. I will jump on him like we're in the wildlife (since he thinks we are) and go tyson on his ear. Don't speak to me like I'm something you've seen on the discovery channel. Kmt

 

[ActionActress]

Personally for me, I don't so the weaves for protective styling. Now, I may use a wig once in a blue moon. I can understand protective styling with other hair. But I do understand where the poster is coming from about the mythical BW with weaves.


In my experience, I have had positive experience with white men and hair. As well as many other ethnicites. I find it is Black men who seem to be more like the "Yo is yo daddy white? Posting..LOL!"
But it's an observation.

Many white guys have a genuine interest in Afro texture because simply is different than the 90% or so out there with straight or straightened hair.

But there seems to be sadness over the issue of black men prefering straighter hair. Hmmmm.

I may have said this before, but I find it about time to accept compliments even from people of different backgrounds.

My thinking is: If you don't "see" me, I don't "see" you. If you "see" me, then I "see" you. Black women need to learn this and take the positive...rooooollll with it.

AA

 

[ebonylocs]

Mari-Cris, believe me, I know where you are coming from. Like I said above, when you have a white guy tell you in a matter of fact way that one thing he now knows about BW years of experience is that "our hair isn't ours", and you can't even get mad because 90% of the BW in that town were wearing fake hair, well then, you can begin to feel a bit miffed.

However, I think your comments were a bit too broadsided and judgmental. I don't get too upset about what other women do with their hair, and although I don't wear weaves or wigs, I appreciate that many women on here wear them for a particular purpose. So *here* wouldn't be the place where I would come giving a sermon about wig wearing, given that most ladies here do have hair that they are proud to show when they are ready. I think the message "Take care of your real hair, don't depend on fake hair" would do more good given toBW outside LHCF. The lack of healthy hair that leads to the resort to weaves/wigs is more of a concern to me than the wigs themselves.

 

[SingBrina]

When I wore braids a lot of white guys loved it and thought it was soooo beautiful, they would be like "you are so beautiful, I was wondering if we could go out sometimes..." especially if I wore the light braids.... and they would compliment how they like it. Although not white, I know the asian guys liked when i wore my hair pressed, one asian guy would request me to wear my own hair down, and he sat behind me in class, lol. But I noticed white guys like more of the briads, afros, ya know, the natural looks!

I have a lot of other stories, but grrrr too long

 

[Chevelure618]

I had a guy say sarcastically regarding "white people's hair": "Who wants this hair"? Then he said, "Who wants this skin?" pointing to his own. He said when he lived in Israel he had a friend from Yemen who had really "cool" hair, and he motioned his finger like a small spiral.

The texture of our hair is interesting. There's nothing really interesting about straight. (don't blast me), in other words which has more interest... a simple sweater, or a cableknit sweater. The cableknit has a pattern...a texture. Of course straight hair is so beautiful a la Pantene commercials etc., but in this country it is so commonplace because it is the standard.

 

[DarkVictory]

Many White and Asian people, male and female, seem to love the classic Angela Davis type round Afro. I've even had some "request" it ("You should wear your hair that way for Mike's party!") which is weird. Some of these folks are time-traveling, but I take it in the spirit it's given.