Why did God send me an ugly man?

[destiny30]

I'm laughing here too. Not at you precious OP, but at the way you put it. I can ony imagine the expression on your face when you first saw that he was not what you expected.

But as Enchantment shared, ugly is relative. It really is. And actually unfair to apply to any man of God. Granted, there are degrees of physical attraction and we all have our different tastes; but never ugly can a true man of God be. Never. What if a man thought the same of you?

You cannot be fair to this man or to yourself or to God, if you 'make yourself' go out with him. Love isn't something that is forced, it just happens and it connects two hearts no matter what the two look like physically. That's truly the best love of all.

Don't do this to him. How unfair to his heart. How unfair to yours as a daughter of God our Father. The real question to ask is, 'Father, what is in my heart? Show me beyond the surface part of me and allow me to see, what is in my heart. If this be the man for me...let it flow. If not, let him go. I place this into your hands and not my eyes to make the right decison, in Jesus' name. Amen. "

(((( Hugs )))) to you, angel. I've been there. But then I had to see what was so much prettier about me, to call any man of God, ugly. For to call him ugly, was saying I was better than he was. I learned that I wasn't so pretty after all.

I bet this man is more beautiful inside and out than one could ever imagine. He's a man of God and I'd rather sleep beside him as my husband than any Denzel or of his kind, any night. And I'd love him...all over. [/quo
Well Said !!!!!!! I'm going to pray this prayer.

 

[Shimmie]

Ive never been caught up in looks because I indulge in a lot of 'forward thinking', meaning when I see a woman I picture whether I can see myself with her for a long time. While other men are thinking of how good she looks on his arm, I'm only concerned if she is someone that I can trust and love. I want to know if she will be supportive in my goals (as I will be with hers) and would she be there if all I had in this world was the clothes on my back and the faith in my heart.

Looks are really superficial. Id rather be with a woman who looks like the armpit of a chia pet than a model because I NEED someone who is truly sincere. Unfortunately, many men dont feel this way and they get caught up in looks and how she will look in front of his 'boys'. I guess thats why the Lord didnt make me a celebrity because if I was famous, the paparazzi might find me with a woman who looks like tree bark on my arm and I'd make sure every frame of film shows me alllllllllllll hugged up on her cuz she'd be beautiful to me.

Some people gotta understand. Looks dont matter when you're old and grey. You just want companionship and love. You dont care about the world because the world isn't paying you any mind. It's just you two.

So choose wisely.

This is so beautiful.... it really is.

But sir .............................................. the armpit of a chia pet?

Yet, this is still truly beautiful...truly beautiful, indeed.

 

[Shimmie]

Thank You, I'm going to go on a date with him. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Before you do, please ask yourself, 'why?' Make sure the Father gives you the answer. You see, he may fall in love with you (if he hasn't already). And then you'll have more to deal with...his feelings vs yours. He's already shown that he has feelings for you.

I've learned to NEVER encourage a man. In all the years of my celibacy, I never encouraged a man who showed signs that he cared for me, when I knew that my feelings were not the same. I did not want to fan the flames or give him false hopes.

I know it's been done to 'us' as women time and again with men who were playing games (not all play games). But men do have true and deep feelings and when they fall in love, it's for real. And their feelings matter. Just like ours, they matter. You either want him or you don't.

Deep down, you already 'know' how you feel about him. Dating him at this point is not going to change how you feel about him, if you know deep down he's not the one you want to be with. Face up to it and face up to the fact that it's OKAY if you do not feel the same way about him; but it's not okay to encourage him.

Going out on a date with him just to be nice or to heed 'our' advise may not be what God is telling you to do. Ask God first to lead you and guide you and to be 'fair' to this man's heart. Don't encourage him unless you truly feel you can overlook what doesn't appeal to you about him.

Precious one, don't be ashamed of being disappointed; you're human. And we do learn. Be the beauty that you are, and just don't make it worse for him by going out on a pity or a 'shame on you date'. Ask God first.

All the best...

 

[Christa438]

I didn't want to post my thoughts on the thread for fear of being scolded or disagreed with. But this is my opinion and I am speaking it to you, Destiny, so I’ve decided to be brave. I want what I consider a package in a man. I have been fooled on the personality part by a couple of guys though in my past. They weren't what they appeared. You live and learn. I'm quite sure that I've passed up some good-looking good guys for some good-looking bad guys in my past! However, I still like what I call a package and I don't feel I need to settle or change any of my standards. I learned that I do have to look deeper though. I believe I can have it all. I don't think I’m shallow since any guy must have more to him than looks (man of God, sensitive, compassionate, loving, caring, trustworthy, honest, faithful, strong leader yet supportive, & have a decent job). You know what? I feel that I’m a package that's worthy of a package in return. I do believe that people were blessed with different talents and gifts. I think beauty is an anointing/gift. Some have it and still are blessed with other talents/ gifts. Some people may not have beauty and may have another gift/talent or many other gifts and talents. I want me and my handsome husband to grow old together and for our looks to “fade” together. {I don’t think beauty on a man or woman fades. I just think it evolves} Some people make women feel like they're hooked on a fairytale and they bring me down but it’s for me to keep my spirit lifted. I don't think I am “a dreamer”, I just think that what I wanted was never too much to ask especially of God, it's possible, and I have faith. I mean God created all things in six days and sent his only son to die for the people he created and loved. Doesn't this sound like a fairytale to others? But we know it to be possible...we know it to be true and we believe in it with all of our hearts. Why can't we have everything good that we want in a spouse/mate then? Why can't we believe that God would bless us with all that we want and more if we serve him? Didn’t He say He would grant our heart’s desires and isn’t it true that He is all knowing and all powerful beyond imagination? Destiny, This man 'seems' exactly what he appears. But I think you still need to get to know him and stay in prayer. But you can't force yourself to like or to love. It has to happen, it will or it won't. You mentioned that he was anointed and he likes you a lot. I am so glad about that. I guess you will find out what is best when you allow yourself to get to know him. Like someone else said there is a chance that he may not be your ONE. If you do like him or you began to love him once you know him, then like/love him and don't worry about looks. Personally, I've always had cute/handsome boyfriends in my past. But I have kicked some-- handsome & cute, but no good-- to the curb so I considered myself "balanced". Off topic & not about you: I just thought about this, a friend of mine learned that trying to date ugly ones on purpose just so you don't get hurt does not work either. There are some bad ugly ones just like there are some bad handsome ones. Thank goodness your guy is annointed.:wink2:
Sorry this was long. I hope it helps you.

 

[destiny30]

Christa, thank you for your advice.

 

[baby42]

BINGO:
We have to be really careful what we ask God for. You wanted a person who loves the Lord and who could be a husband. (probably left out superfine in your prayers) But at this stage in my life, if I met a good guy who was good to me and loved God and I had things in common with, looks would be way down on my throw him to the curb list.
And besides, it's just a date.

yep

 

[Christa438]

Christa, thank you for your advice.

You're welcome. You know I do believe God is all knowing and all powerful. I do believe he knows all my heart's desires. In another thread I mentioned how depressed and unhappy I was about my short, ugly damaged hair appearance. And I couldn't really get my hair to grow or figure out what I was doing wrong and what were the things that I needed to do. And I did pray to him a few times about it, but I had stopped mentioning the issue in my prayers because I figured...He was just answering to more important things although He may have still understood that that issue was important to me. Well, not too long after I stopped praying about that issue but still mentally thought about it almost every day, I discovered LHCF while doing a search for MORE hair growth products on line and those products most likely would have been another waste of the little money that I had. And I just knew that he sent me the answer. I know that this was the answer because I have definitely seen a healthy change and a bit of growth that I never had before. I love HIM and I get emotional sometimes when i just think of HIM because I know this was His way of saying to me "I haven't forgot you, I am God and I am willing and able. I love you." Whenever i see the girls with APL, BSL, or longer I get so excited because i just know that im on my way. Of course I love HIM for who he is and all the things he's done for me through the years. I remember when I was a very little girl and HE healed an injury I had as a little girl and I never went to a doctor but we took the matter to HiM and He's the best doctor.
So all that I can tell you is that in time God can grant you EVERYTHING you ask of him and He'll go further to even add the things that you may forget that you need. So In time He will answer you or SEND you "the answer". I know at night when I pray I do thank HIM for answering prayers-not just mine-all others.

 

[Trinity1]

I agree with the poster that stated (not verbatim) there is no ugly man, in Gods eyes,everyone is made in his image so they are absolutely beautiful. Also because it is a first date,dont pressure yourself with asking God "why him???" when it is not yet a proposed relationship,just a date.

Another thing to keep in mind is that God knows exactly what we need and want. He also knows the exact chemistry to create that will allow us to fall in love with the man that he chooses for us. Therefore if this man you are going on a date with was for you,you may be asking "why am I so drawn to this man who is not attractive by my standards?" or some similar question. On the other hand,God is not always instant. Sometimes it will take you a date or two to feel drawn to this man (if its Gods will)...but God will answer your question sooner rather than later because this situation is time sensitive....meaning God knows that if you go out on a first date and feel no connection,you wont be going out with this man again...so God will answer quickly for you.

Good luck! and I hope you find your man soon.

Pray for me too....I've been patiently waiting for 8 years!....LOL...

TeeTee2

 

[live2bgr8]

That says VOLUMES.
You can't be worried about what others think. Most of the "others" that will tease you are the main ones that are unhappy and wish they had someone to love and care about them. I wish you luck!

You ain't lyin'! erplexed To take from the other threads "Don't let 'haters' mess up the good thing that you could have going with this guy if you really want it."

 

[live2bgr8]

What a wonderful 'twist' ... I love it.

You know, it's us, the women who really make the men. What we say and do matters from the moment a male is conceived within our womb. The men we love reflect what we project and say about them, early on.

Ever notice that every mother's baby is the most beautiful? How every mother's son, is the smartest and most handsome; every father's daughter is the most beautiful and his son the most skilled in sports and the 'guy' things that matter?

May I add another twist? Beauty lives on and continues to bud and grow. What fades are the lies that mis-define what Beauty truly is.

And that's all I see, for the man who lives in my heart, his total beauty is all I see inside and out. Love does that. Love makes everything beautiful and NO Illusion... it really is.

Thanks. and to the bolded: Amen, amen, amen

 

[Country gal]

Hey There

I have been in your situation and even though it's easier to give advice and take it, I say give him a chance. It's interesting. They were talking about this just this morning on Tom Joyner. Al Roker was the guest. Tom asked him, "So, how did you hook up with fiiiine Deborah Roberts?" And Al explained that he was "just a friend" from the industry -- she was dating athletes and investment bankers and such. (Now remember, this is pre-gastric bypass Al Roker!) So, one weekend she asked him to house sit and when he got to her apartment, he described it as the "typical single woman's apartment." Specifically, there was nothing in the fridge except a bottle of champagne, some cheese, and maybe one other thing. So, he decided to cook her something. But, when he looked in her oven, he found that cardboard still in it -- so she had never cooked in the oven! So, before the weekend was over, he stocked her refrigerator and left her fresh flowers on the table. Then, he left the friend zone and went into the dating zone.

Both Tom (who is also married to an attractive woman his junior) and Al were like, "Look. Give the ugly dudes a chance! You *know* that the Matt Lauers of the world are only gonna go down hill! But we can get better!"

Thanks for telling the story. I heard the ending and didn't realize it was Al. Just be careful. I am involved with someone who is not my flavor. I find myself being on him about the way he looks. I like Dapper guys who are refined, smelling good and like to look their best. I have to remind him to get a haircut, put on cologne, help him pick out his wardrobe. We are so different that I wonder if we were really ordained by God. I prayed for a good man, a man to be a companion and a friend to me and my son. He came along.

 

[Bunny77]

Now, let's not jump the gun Destiny30! This man may or may not be the one. Sometimes we as women get so excited and eager and you can't know exactly why God has put this man into your life just yet.

MAYBE HE HAS A SUPERFINE COUSIN, OR FRIEND that he will introduce you to or somehow connect you to. Maybe he will be one of your best friends. Maybe he will be someone you will go on a simple date with just for practice . Or, maybe he is the one. Only time and the Holy Spirit's discernment will show you what this man coming into your life is.

So I say, relax, relate, and release. Be calm and then decide how you want to proceed!

Exactly! You don't know if God sent this man to you or not... I mean, in the sense that you're thinking of... you've been praying for a mate, but that doesn't mean that the first nice guy that crosses your path is the one that God sent to you!

We women get ourselves in waaaay too much trouble thinking like this... deciding that God sent him for THAT reason and we just met the guy!

It's just a date. Go on the date if you'd like and have fun. You don't have to marry him after the date or make him your BF. Get to know him... and sometimes, if an emotional attraction is there, then the person becomes more attractive in your eyes. So see what happens, but don't force anything just because he's nice and kind. I mean, that's GREAT and shouldn't be overlooked, but don't sell yourself short if there's absolutely no attraction after you see him a few times.

 

[cocoberry10]

Exactly! You don't know if God sent this man to you or not... I mean, in the sense that you're thinking of... you've been praying for a mate, but that doesn't mean that the first nice guy that crosses your path is the one that God sent to you!

We women get ourselves in waaaay too much trouble thinking like this... deciding that God sent him for THAT reason and we just met the guy!

It's just a date. Go on the date if you'd like and have fun. You don't have to marry him after the date or make him your BF. Get to know him... and sometimes, if an emotional attraction is there, then the person becomes more attractive in your eyes. So see what happens, but don't force anything just because he's nice and kind. I mean, that's GREAT and shouldn't be overlooked, but don't sell yourself short if there's absolutely no attraction after you see him a few times.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I co-sign on your entire post! Excellent and well said sister!

 

[locabouthair]

i agree with bunny77 and cocoberry. good luck with everything!

 

[calliope]

You do have free wil. You don't have to take it if you don't want it. And trust, if he's a real good man, the Lord will direct him to someone who will appreciate him (Shrug).

I definitely second this- you don't have to take him. In fact, you don't need to take anyone to be whole if the Lord is in charge of your life. I would give him a chance though, it's amazing what time and love can do.

P.S. I've always heard that it's better for the woman to be the "prettier" one in the relationship- keeps his behind in check . Because on the flip side, nothing's worse than a man whose prettier than you and never lets you forget it.

 

[Hidden_Angel]

Omg, this is the same thing i'm going through right now...

 

[Nonie]

I tend to ramble so I beg your pardon in advance. I will try my hardest to summarize.

By the time I met my hubby, I'd been out with the coolest dudes in the world. I'd been to heaven and back and been treated like a queen, and I'd also been hurt deeply. When I did hit rock bottom w/ one rlp, I decided to make "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things [you wish for] shall be added unto you" my life's theme. The verse had just been explained to me clearer than ever before: That you must seek to live in the realm where God is King; meaning a life where He rules. He must be first in every aspect of your life. (I used to think the verse meant "seek to go to heaven", but this new explanation spoke volumes.) By the time my last rlp ended, it was obvious to me that I was lousy at choosing a mate on my own. I had tried so hard to be the best g/f I could be, and had come up empty yet again. I should also mention that I also suffered from the Cinderella Complex. I had to have a man. I needed someone to care for me. I felt incomplete w/o someone to love. I mean, I had so much love to give that it hurt when I had no one to share it w/. So while I didn't go out seeking a mate in clubs or the like (I'm shy you see), I'd pray to have any guy I took a fancy to. And usually I got whomever I asked for. But where were they now?

When I decided to live above the level of mediocrity where only God mattered, I lost the yearning I so desperately had. When they say God can fill any void, it's no lie. But I did do sth. I did write God a letter (a variation to praying on my knees) and tell him the sort of guy I would like someday. I made sure to write the things I liked in past relationships and to leave out the things I didn't care for. Someone said God answers specific prayer so I made the list as detailed as possible. And then put that matter to rest. My focus now was to hang out w/ Father at all times. I was alone but not lonely. I would chat w/ Father about doing laundry or not feeling like going to the store just yet. I'd discuss options when I had to choose one thing or another. I didn't speak out loud; I spoke to Him in my heart. And what fun it was! For the first time in my life, I was not yearning for anything. I was single, sane, secure, satisfied, and (I might also add, in this day and age) safe.

When I first talked to my hubby, I wasn't interested in a b/f-g/f rlp. I was so whole/content in my single state that I really just wanted a buddy to hang out w/. I had so much growing to do that I didn't have time for anyone else, and actually told him from the get-go that I wasn't interested in a rlp that was anything more than platonic. This was over the phone. And he wasn't either. It seemed the big brother/friend I always wanted all my life (I'm the eldest) had finally arrived. I now had a buddy to go to movies w/. He'd had a bad rlp and needed space too. (Now, I do know guys can bluff their way into a rlp like this; but I had God ruling so I didn't even sweat it.)

Now one thing I want emphasize: God knows your heart more than you realize. Remember my letter to God? I said it was specific, but the one thing that didn't matter to me anymore - and yet it was always the most important thing - was looks. To me a beautiful heart mattered more to me at that point than outward appearance. (To understand how serious I was, when I saw The Elephant Man with Anthony Hopkins, I was smitten by John, the EM himself. I remember thinking if I had met him back then, I'd have fallen in love w/ him in a heartbeat, if he was really as beautiful a person inside as depicted in that movie.) So I didn't care if I got a bald, short, fat man (My ideal used to be tall dark and handsome); as long as he could love me as much as I'm able to love and treat me well, I would be the luckiest woman alive. But again, this prayer wasn't for a mate NOW. It was for a mate in the future, ie, the next time I fell in love, whenever that'd be.

Anyway, back to this new friend that I got to know over the phone before we ever met (thanks to a mutual friend). The day he showed up to take me to the movies, I remember being almost hypnotized by his good looks. But I wasn't in my former frame of mind where I'd want to snag him by hook or by crook. I was just flattered that my big bro, who'd be hanging out w/ me would be such a knockout, talk of the perfect accessory.

To cut a long story short, the friendship grew into a courtship and finally a marriage over a period of 5 years. And believe it or not, he's everything I prayed for to a T (When we'd have a disagreement, I remember thinking "Now why did I forget to mention he had to be different on that area in my prayer?" LOL) But on a serious note, where God proved to me He is Omniscient and really could've done w/o my so-called spec list is in not only sending me a man that was tall, dark and handsome (my former must-haves) but also throwing in a body like a god's. That last bit just seemed so unattainable considering my past encounters. In fact, I only saw such bodies in magazines. But God knew the apple of my eye and when I left it up to Him, He surprised me by nailing it.)

So I say, seek to live your life in a realm where God rules. Nothing should be done w/o consulting w/ Him. Ask him when you're unsure, and let Him guide you. Proverbs 3:5-6 If this guy tries to put pressure on you, be honest and tell him you're not looking for a rlp of that sort w/ him. But if you allow God to be part of that date, you'll have a wonderful and stressfree rendezvous, and there will be no awkwardness whatsoever.

One last thing I'd like to point out, still along the lines of seeking first the Kingdom of God: anytime something becomes so important to you that it occupies your mind more than God, that thing is turning into an idol. And if you've asked God to direct your life, then you can bet that He will not allow that obsession into your life. (Exodus 20:4-5) Until you surrender that desire to Him...until you make God the most important thing in your life so that those desires lose their grip on you, they will not be added unto you. God wants to have a relationship w/ you that matters more than any other relationship you'll ever have. Once that vertical bond is established, the horizontal one will fall into place. Like a triangle, the closer you draw to God at the apex, the closer your life will draw to one chosen for you by God as the triangle shrinks. Even if you started off w/ someone who wasn't godly, the closer you grow to God and the more you pray for that person, the closer you will find yourself growing to them - again the triangle shrinks.

As far as what outsiders think about the one you end up loving, it won't matter when you know deep inside that what you share is real. The Velveteen Rabbit breaks it down nicely:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when [he and the Skin Horse] were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

[from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams]

Sorry again for being long-winded. Hope something in there was helpful.

 

[Enchantmt]

Great post, Nonie!!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Nonie - thanks for your encouragement! What a lovely story!!!

 

[Shimmie]

Nonie, this is beautiful...

 

[HAIRapy]

I love this thread...

 

[song_of_serenity]

I wonder what ever became of this situation. Destiny hasn't been on in a very long time.
~*Janelle~*
ETA
Nevermind, I saw the follow up thread.

 

[PassionFruit]

I wonder what ever became of this situation. Destiny hasn't been on in a very long time.
~*Janelle~*
ETA
Nevermind, I saw the follow up thread.

I cant find it

 

[cocoberry10]

I cant find it

Here it is

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=123509

 

[Theo]

wow... Nonie's post was awesome.

 

[BeautifulRoots]

wow... Nonie's post was awesome.

Yes, I totally agree, it was. Inspiring story.

 

[cocoberry10]

This is a beautiful post

I tend to ramble so I beg your pardon in advance. I will try my hardest to summarize.

By the time I met my hubby, I'd been out with the coolest dudes in the world. I'd been to heaven and back and been treated like a queen, and I'd also been hurt deeply. When I did hit rock bottom w/ one rlp, I decided to make "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things [you wish for] shall be added unto you" my life's theme. The verse had just been explained to me clearer than ever before: That you must seek to live in the realm where God is King; meaning a life where He rules. He must be first in every aspect of your life. (I used to think the verse meant "seek to go to heaven", but this new explanation spoke volumes.) By the time my last rlp ended, it was obvious to me that I was lousy at choosing a mate on my own. I had tried so hard to be the best g/f I could be, and had come up empty yet again. I should also mention that I also suffered from the Cinderella Complex. I had to have a man. I needed someone to care for me. I felt incomplete w/o someone to love. I mean, I had so much love to give that it hurt when I had no one to share it w/. So while I didn't go out seeking a mate in clubs or the like (I'm shy you see), I'd pray to have any guy I took a fancy to. And usually I got whomever I asked for. But where were they now?

When I decided to live above the level of mediocrity where only God mattered, I lost the yearning I so desperately had. When they say God can fill any void, it's no lie. But I did do sth. I did write God a letter (a variation to praying on my knees) and tell him the sort of guy I would like someday. I made sure to write the things I liked in past relationships and to leave out the things I didn't care for. Someone said God answers specific prayer so I made the list as detailed as possible. And then put that matter to rest. My focus now was to hang out w/ Father at all times. I was alone but not lonely. I would chat w/ Father about doing laundry or not feeling like going to the store just yet. I'd discuss options when I had to choose one thing or another. I didn't speak out loud; I spoke to Him in my heart. And what fun it was! For the first time in my life, I was not yearning for anything. I was single, sane, secure, satisfied, and (I might also add, in this day and age) safe.

When I first talked to my hubby, I wasn't interested in a b/f-g/f rlp. I was so whole/content in my single state that I really just wanted a buddy to hang out w/. I had so much growing to do that I didn't have time for anyone else, and actually told him from the get-go that I wasn't interested in a rlp that was anything more than platonic. This was over the phone. And he wasn't either. It seemed the big brother/friend I always wanted all my life (I'm the eldest) had finally arrived. I now had a buddy to go to movies w/. He'd had a bad rlp and needed space too. (Now, I do know guys can bluff their way into a rlp like this; but I had God ruling so I didn't even sweat it.)

Now one thing I want emphasize: God knows your heart more than you realize. Remember my letter to God? I said it was specific, but the one thing that didn't matter to me anymore - and yet it was always the most important thing - was looks. To me a beautiful heart mattered more to me at that point than outward appearance. (To understand how serious I was, when I saw The Elephant Man with Anthony Hopkins, I was smitten by John, the EM himself. I remember thinking if I had met him back then, I'd have fallen in love w/ him in a heartbeat, if he was really as beautiful a person inside as depicted in that movie.) So I didn't care if I got a bald, short, fat man (My ideal used to be tall dark and handsome); as long as he could love me as much as I'm able to love and treat me well, I would be the luckiest woman alive. But again, this prayer wasn't for a mate NOW. It was for a mate in the future, ie, the next time I fell in love, whenever that'd be.

Anyway, back to this new friend that I got to know over the phone before we ever met (thanks to a mutual friend). The day he showed up to take me to the movies, I remember being almost hypnotized by his good looks. But I wasn't in my former frame of mind where I'd want to snag him by hook or by crook. I was just flattered that my big bro, who'd be hanging out w/ me would be such a knockout, talk of the perfect accessory.

To cut a long story short, the friendship grew into a courtship and finally a marriage over a period of 5 years. And believe it or not, he's everything I prayed for to a T (When we'd have a disagreement, I remember thinking "Now why did I forget to mention he had to be different on that area in my prayer?" LOL) But on a serious note, where God proved to me He is Omniscient and really could've done w/o my so-called spec list is in not only sending me a man that was tall, dark and handsome (my former must-haves) but also throwing in a body like a god's. That last bit just seemed so unattainable considering my past encounters. In fact, I only saw such bodies in magazines. But God knew the apple of my eye and when I left it up to Him, He surprised me by nailing it.)

So I say, seek to live your life in a realm where God rules. Nothing should be done w/o consulting w/ Him. Ask him when you're unsure, and let Him guide you. Proverbs 3:5-6 If this guy tries to put pressure on you, be honest and tell him you're not looking for a rlp of that sort w/ him. But if you allow God to be part of that date, you'll have a wonderful and stressfree rendezvous, and there will be no awkwardness whatsoever.

One last thing I'd like to point out, still along the lines of seeking first the Kingdom of God: anytime something becomes so important to you that it occupies your mind more than God, that thing is turning into an idol. And if you've asked God to direct your life, then you can bet that He will not allow that obsession into your life. (Exodus 20:4-5) Until you surrender that desire to Him...until you make God the most important thing in your life so that those desires lose their grip on you, they will not be added unto you. God wants to have a relationship w/ you that matters more than any other relationship you'll ever have. Once that vertical bond is established, the horizontal one will fall into place. Like a triangle, the closer you draw to God at the apex, the closer your life will draw to one chosen for you by God as the triangle shrinks. Even if you started off w/ someone who wasn't godly, the closer you grow to God and the more you pray for that person, the closer you will find yourself growing to them - again the triangle shrinks.

As far as what outsiders think about the one you end up loving, it won't matter when you know deep inside that what you share is real. The Velveteen Rabbit breaks it down nicely:



Sorry again for being long-winded. Hope something in there was helpful.

 

[Kiadodie]

Nonie girl, that was so beautiful of a story.

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

Some dummy somewhere passed up on Bill Gates cuz he didnt look like Brad Pitt. Beauty fades.

 

[Highly Favored8]

All I am saying is "give love a Chance"

Looks are so superfical it is what is in his heart and How he treats u that is all that matters.

If not another women's trash is another womens treasure.