Why do Black Women want long hair???

[sutton989]

I really want to get this out because since i'v been coming to this site for about 3 week this subject has been bothering me. Now before I state how I feel, let me just say that I love this site. It’s good to see so many black women have a bond on one board. My problem is what is the obsession with black women and long hair?? When I first started coming to this site it made me think a lot about why I was coming here. You never see White, Hispanic, or Asian women making a website about having long hair. It kind of made me feel like I was a sell out. Because long hair has long been associated with whiteness. Why can't we be happy with healthy hair? Why does it have to be long?? It kind of bugs me when I see all these post about outrageous combination and different vitamins to take on how to get long hair. It just feels like some kind unconscious self hatred. I don't know if I clearly expressed how i feel. Does anyone else feel this way?
p.s.
this post by no means was meant to offend anyone. I just wanted to voice my feelings.

 

[karezone]

Maybe if you had read a little bit more, you would have realized that not every one here wants long hair. Most just want to keep the hair that they have in good condition. It is not selling out to want long hair. Thinness is associated with "whiteness" but people who try to loss weight are being told that they are selling out. Just like weight hair is an integral part of most womens body image and having a beautiful healthy head of hair makes most women feel great.

 

[katie]

Just to correct you..I know of a board with white women trying to grow long hair.It is called longhairlovers I think.
This Black woman wants long hair simply because I have never had it before and I find it looks very feminine and pretty.

 

[sutton989]

"Thinness" is not whiteness. long hair has always been associated with whiteness. Why do you black women with long hair get asked if there hair is weave?? I also understand that this site is just not about having long, but healthy hair. But then why is this site called long hair??? I just feel why can't we be happy with what we have?

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

First, as Karezone has already pointed out, most of the ladies of LHCF want healthy hair. Second, you make it seem like only white and hispanic people have the ability to grow hair long, and that isn't true. Have you seen the pics some members have posted? Wanting long hair doesn't make you sell out, and it isn't a form of self hatred. Third, it's a matter of preference.Some people prefer short hair, while others prefer long hair.

 

[mly3e]

"Why do Black Women want long hair???"........Why not????

The main reason why this board is made up of mostly AA women in search of healthy hair (notice I didn't say long hair)is because many of us grew up using the wrong products because we did not understand our different hair types and how to care for that specific type. We used products that were for different types or laden with chemicals that dried out our ends and clogged our follicles. We pulled hair tight trying to get it as smooth as possible and damaged our temple lines. And figured that dirt made hair grow, and washing too often was for "white folks" and it opened you up for lice. As far as I see it UNLESS you cut it on purpose , healthy hair IS long hair.

Now if you cut your hair in a short style and like that you STILL want healthy hair.
If you want long hair, in order for it to grow and look nice IT HAS TO BE HEALTHY .

That is what we are here for. Helping each other with advice, succes stories, horror stories and encouragement.

I don't want long hair because of a white woman. I want long hair because I look better with long hair. I want to show the world that long hair on a black girl does not have to come in a weft or pack!!!!!!

 

[LuLu]

[ QUOTE ]
mly3e said:

I don't want long hair because of a white woman. I want long hair because I look better with long hair. I want to show the world that long hair on a black girl does not have to come in a weft or pack!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

That was very well said.

 

[alibi]

I know this subject is going to get lit up w/ replies, but let me see if I can take a whack at it.

First off, I think the emphasis on long hair in adult black women comes from the perception in society that we can't grow long hair. People both black, white, and otherwise automatically assume that a black women w/ long hair has to have a weave, because you don't see us with long hair that often. So I think that it's a source of pride to many of us.

That said, the second thing that I've noticed is that in our society, there isn't a wealth of information on how to grow and maintain healthy black hair.

This is evidenced by the overwhelming lack of quality hair products on the market geared toward our hair. Many of us end up damaging and overprocessing our hair because we've never really been taught how to care for it properly.

I know I for one had hair well past the middle of my back when I was a kid, but it got increasingly shorter, more damaged, and more unhealthy as I got older and started perming, using color, curling irons, blow dryers, etc. Then I began to long for the days that I had hair down my back, and wanted to know what I could do to get it back that way, because I refused to believe that black hair "doesn't grow long," like many people would have you to believe, which goes back to my first point. I appreciate the women on the forum who have achieve the length that they desire, and are willing to share their routines and success stories with the rest of us. This is just my 2 cents, I'm sure others will have different opinions, but I hope this helps!

 

[A_Christian]

I agree with mly3e in terms of the product use. I think a lot of black women want long hair becasue years of using the wrong products and hair styling methods that broke our hair off had most/many black women thinking we were not able to grow long hair. Now that we've got superior products on the market and are aware of healthy haircare practices (and have become aware that we really are capable of growing our hair to great lengths) we want to grow it as long as it can get. I know I can't speak for everyone but I know many people who feel this way.

 

[Ayeshia]

Along with trying to have healthy hair we also want to prove that we can have long hair too just like anybody else no matter what race you are. And it just so happens that most of these black women on the board admire long hair.And we are tired of admiring, we want results! And this board is the number one thing to refer to help start our journey. In fact some of us already have long hair (without effort) but we just want it in a healthier state. Im sure that there is a board somewhere out in cyber space that supports short healthy hair. plus whites have adopted physical preferences that are closer to african americans i.e. dreads, cornrows, tanning,injections for fuller lips. But im sure its not to try to be sumthing theyre not its just sumthing they prefer. And I for one prefer long hair...

 

[WaterMoccasin]

[ QUOTE ]
sutton989 said:
"Thinness" is not whiteness. long hair has always been associated with whiteness. Why do you black women with long hair get asked if there hair is weave?? I also understand that this site is just not about having long, but healthy hair. But then why is this site called long hair??? I just feel why can't we be happy with what we have?

[/ QUOTE ]

I see lots of confusion- like you said, thinness has nothing to do with being white. But for me, when i think about long-a$$ hair, I actually think of our fellow 'colored' women- Indians (both East Indians and Native Americans) and Asians. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, wanting long hair has nothing to do with aligning ourselves with our 'white' sisters either. Like someone mentioned- and I can see you are new to this- there are many, many boards out there with white women talking about wanting to grow and obsessed with long hair as well, also talking about being stuck at one length (as short as shoulder-length and 24 inches), and envying others whose hair is long etc. etc. Longhairlovers.com is one of those sites.
Also, and I am wondering what 'race' you are to ask this question, but the reason black women get asked if their hair is a weave is obvious to most of us here: there is a myth that has been around for a long time and quite embedded in many black women and others, that black women cannot have long hair like other 'races'. I'm sure fellow members can further explain.
And as for why the site is called long hair (care forum), that too, I thought was obvious- it is a forum for the discussion of taking care of long hair, and also taking care of hair that isn't quite there yet, but will be. What would you have suggested it be named?
And correct me if I'm wrong, hasn't the site evolved as a kind of medium to helping black women break out of the 'cursed hair' mentality and helping them to get healthy- and yes, some even want long hair- helping to demolish that myth that has given black women a sort of hair inferiority complex...
maybe it's just me

 

[diamond_nh]

I don't see how wanting long hair or having long hair is selling out. Thats like saying that black women are not suppose to have long hair. If long hair was only to be had by other races then we wouldn't be able to grow ours. I think everyone here should be praised for learning more about their hair and what needs to be done to maintain its health and in fact grow it longer. As far as the vitamins go, I don't see anything wrong with taking supplements. Supplements just help those ladies that do not get all the nutrients they need from their food intake. It's not like anyone here is taking the magic hair pill that is just a placebo and not giving any results. You can't tell me that you think other women don't take vitamins. And yes there are websites with white women who are trying to achieve long hair and/or keep the hair they have.

The problem is not women coming to this site to gain knowledge. The problem is that to some people long hair is equated with being white, hispanic, and asian, when in reality black women can have long hair without having a whole weft of seabiscuit sewn or glued to their scalp.

 

[divanrare4m]

I personally want long hair because I have never had really long hair before. The longest my hair has been is about shoulder length. After coming to this site and learning how to properly care for my hair to retain length, I realized that I can have long hair just like other races. Black women generally do not have really long hair because we don't know how to care for our fragile hair to retain length. We've done what's been passed down through the years. I don't think it's selling out to want long hair. I started to want long hair because I realized that I could grow my hair long with proper care. Before coming to this site I was just satisfied with what I had because I didn't know any better. I hope this answered your question.

 

[mly3e]

[ QUOTE ]
....... when in reality black women can have long hair without having a whole weft of seabiscuit sewn or glued to their scalp.

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Vitality]

Personally it's more important for me to have healthy hair, however, I am challenging myself to see how long I can allow my hair to grow without chopping it off. The information I receive from this board has taught me how to better manage and care for my hair, so now I am no longer frustrated with it and I am now excited about growing long hair.

 

[cutebajangirl]

Sutton989,
As others have stated there are plenty of sites aimed toward whites who want to grow their hair longer. If you feel like a sellout, is it because you beleive that white hair is a white trait? Just like many blacks feel thinness is a white trait, hence Karezone's response to you. I know of plenty of black females who once deciding to take better care of themeselves with exercize and proper diet are accused of trying to be white with comments like "you're a black girl you're supposed to have meat on you" or "you are not white why are you worried about your weight?" If you associate long hair with whiteness do you associate short hair with blackness? People ask if it is a weave beacause the concept that blacks can't grow hair is yet another sterotype that we have been fooled into beleiving about ourselves.I also think that we are no more obsessed with long hair than any other race. All of my white friends have mid back or longer. The difference is that the methods/products that we tend to use have prohibited us from growing our hair long. For many of us daily rinsing and protective styling have grown our hair tremendously and what is so complex about rinsing,smoothing on some leave in and putting it in a bun? My last question is why shouldn't we want long hair?

 

[Dreamn]

so are black women with naturally long hair trying to be "white"? or should they cut it off to be more "non white"??

 

[ccd]

I'm fairly new to the site and I was thrilled to find it not because it promoted long hair but because it had a tremendous about of information regarding products and supplements I had knowledge of and many others that I didn't. I think this site promotes sharing information on healthy hair care and researching what works for you; not just long hair, all types of hair styles and processes are discussed from natural, braids to relaxed.

Take a moment to search the web on hair care and you'll find many many, many sites that come up and are geared toward all the other races.....This site fulfills a need that is most ignored but the "dominant" culture. And when there are limited outlets for something there will be a high demand...alot of the people here seem to want to find out the proper way to maintain their hair and if it grows to great heights, then that's a bonus.

As long as we depend on someone else to educate us we will always be the consumer of whatever they want to give us whether it's in your best interest or not.

 

[karezone]

Lets leave this topic alone, we should not have to defend ourselves or our choices and nobody should ask us to do so.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

First I must state that this topic HAS been brought up before, and addressed rather nicely!
I think that it is not so much wantin long hair, but wanting to know how to maintain length and take care of the hair whiledeveloping new echniques and styles.

I for one am not fascinated by long hair, although I would like my hair to grow out faster so that I am able to cut it into styles that I like which is bacically the main purpose of growing my hair out.

I think that many can be confused by the threads into thinking that people want long hair, but I see it as people want hair that can grow and be healthy.

 

[adrienne0914]

i ain't gonna lie. i didn't come to the hair boards for just healthy hair. i have always wanted long hair, not because i'm trying to be white. but why shouldn't we be able to have what some other races take for granted without being made to feel like there's something wrong with us for hoping?

i've had short hair most of my life, and now that it's almost to my waist and i've seen it from both sides, i encourage anyone to at least try. if healthy is enough for you, so be it. but don't try to fit us into a mold that it seems you've created for yourself...

 

[soulchild]

You asked 'Why does it have to be long?? '

Why not? Our hair grows and just the same rate as any other race. What's wrong with simply wishing to retain that length? Like someone else said, long hair isn't some white trait.

'Why can't we be happy with healthy hair? '
Length comes with health, so basically if we are not choosing to keep it at that same neck-length then there is something goin' on, health-wise with the hair.

 

[inthestars]

[ QUOTE ]
sutton989 said:
I really want to get this out because since i'v been coming to this site for about 3 week this subject has been bothering me. Now before I state how I feel, let me just say that I love this site. It’s good to see so many black women have a bond on one board. My problem is what is the obsession with black women and long hair?? When I first started coming to this site it made me think a lot about why I was coming here. You never see White, Hispanic, or Asian women making a website about having long hair. It kind of made me feel like I was a sell out. Because long hair has long been associated with whiteness. Why can't we be happy with healthy hair? Why does it have to be long?? It kind of bugs me when I see all these post about outrageous combination and different vitamins to take on how to get long hair. It just feels like some kind unconscious self hatred. I don't know if I clearly expressed how i feel. Does anyone else feel this way?
p.s.
this post by no means was meant to offend anyone. I just wanted to voice my feelings.

[/ QUOTE ]

You'd obviously be happier at nappturality.com, people here are not big on limiting themselves to narrow definitions in order to please or satisfy other people's ideals.

 

[Mahalialee4]

My question is with all due repect: what type length and condition of hair do YOU PERSONALLY think that you as a woman should be eligible and FREE to have? ...not as one of the white race or black race, because there is only one race-human race, being made up of "many nations, tribes and tongues"? Do you personally believe that black women were created separate and not equal with different emotions, needs and wants from white, Asian, Indian etc women?... And finally, does it truly surprise you that many woman just personally prefer to have long hair often because it is considered by them as womenkind to be very desirable and feminine and by their significant others whom they love to please? Look at what we spend on beauty items, perfume, shoes, lotions and lipstick!

As for me personally, long hair....that's just the kinda gal I am. And if you prefer short hair on you... then I support you 100%. There are additionally sites for those who prefer to wear their hair streaked, crimped, hennaed, dyed, short or even to be bald and those sites are equally well supported...All personal choices, wouldn't you say?

One thing that I notice is that East Indian women lavish a lot of love and attention on their hair because they culturally consider long hair a desirable asset to have.

Bonjour.

 

[jellynote]

[ QUOTE ]
ayanapooh said:
I know this subject is going to get lit up w/ replies, but let me see if I can take a whack at it.

First off, I think the emphasis on long hair in adult black women comes from the perception in society that we can't grow long hair. People both black, white, and otherwise automatically assume that a black women w/ long hair has to have a weave, because you don't see us with long hair that often. So I think that it's a source of pride to many of us.

That said, the second thing that I've noticed is that in our society, there isn't a wealth of information on how to grow and maintain healthy black hair.

This is evidenced by the overwhelming lack of quality hair products on the market geared toward our hair. Many of us end up damaging and overprocessing our hair because we've never really been taught how to care for it properly.

I know I for one had hair well past the middle of my back when I was a kid, but it got increasingly shorter, more damaged, and more unhealthy as I got older and started perming, using color, curling irons, blow dryers, etc. Then I began to long for the days that I had hair down my back, and wanted to know what I could do to get it back that way, because I refused to believe that black hair "doesn't grow long," like many people would have you to believe, which goes back to my first point. I appreciate the women on the forum who have achieve the length that they desire, and are willing to share their routines and success stories with the rest of us. This is just my 2 cents, I'm sure others will have different opinions, but I hope this helps!

[/ QUOTE ]




I'm with you on this. It seems we haven't had any good hair care books and a lot of us didn't believe that we can have healthy long beautiful hair. So I'm glad I'm not alone on my quest for healthy long beautiful hair. I can say because of this forum my hair has been it's healthiest and I'm glad and thankful that we can come to a place and dicuss our progress and our let downs. There are a few sites for white women trying to grow healthy long hair www.longlocks.com so I don't see what's wrong with black women having our on site either. Maybe your ok with not having long or healthy hair that's your choice, but me not only do I want healthy hair I want long hair too and I don't see a problem with that. It doesn't make me or any other black woman a sell out just because we want long hair.

 

[pebbles]

[ QUOTE ]
sutton989 said:
I also understand that this site is just not about having long, but healthy hair. But then why is this site called long hair??? I just feel why can't we be happy with what we have?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi sutton989!

Let me start by saying that I'm not offended by your questions/comments.

I don't think it's about not being happy with what we have, it's about wanting to gain the most of what we CAN have.

I personally believe that the school of thought that says long hair is a white woman trait, needs to be eradicated. That whole idea has caused a division between many black women, with a percentage of black women thinking that those of us who want to have long hair are not happy being black or want to develope traits that are not intended for us; that's false. Long hair is for anyone who can have it, and most black women can have it, they've just been taught that they can't.

We all want healthy hair, that's a given, but with healthy hair comes growing hair, and for many of us that growth can take us to lengths we never thought we could have. It's time that black women, as a whole, came to the realization that short hair is NOT a black hair characteristic. If you want your hair short, great! If you want it longer, it is possible. You do NOT have to resign yourself to having short hair just because you're black.

One woman dared to dream that there could be a place where black women could come together and talk about the growth and maintenance of long hair on black women whether relaxed, texturized, or natural and appropriately named that place the Long Hair Care Forum.

There is no self-hate involved in trying to grow your hair long. Hang with us for a bit longer. You won't find another place on the internet with more educated and enlightened black women happy and proud to be who they are while growing their hair, (whatever the texture may be), as long as they can.

 

[keylargo]

Sutton, you make it seem like black people are not supposed to have long hair....Now, if you've been around lots of black people, I'm sure you've seen some black women with long hair. What does tell you? It tells you that it is possible for black people to have long hair.

A black person can decide they want long hair for the same reasons that a white person decides to grow their hair long. It's simply a style preference. There's no reason to over analyze about it.

Black people can do whatever they want if they set their minds to it. We don't need to have someone telling us what we're supposed to look like. There's no way a black person is "supposed to look". We come in all shades, shapes, sizes and hairstyles. You should embrace that.

 

[miss_brown]

[ QUOTE ]
pebbles said:
Hi sutton989!

Let me start by saying that I'm not offended by your questions/comments.

I don't think it's about not being happy with what we have, it's about wanting to gain the most of what we CAN have.

I personally believe that the school of thought that says long hair is a white woman trait, needs to be eradicated. That whole idea has caused a division between many black women, with a percentage of black women thinking that those of us who want to have long hair are not happy being black or want to develope traits that are not intended for us; that's false. Long hair is for anyone who can have it, and most black women can have it, they've just been taught that they can't.

We all want healthy hair, that's a given, but with healthy hair comes growing hair, and for many of us that growth can take us to lengths we never thought we could have. It's time that black women, as a whole, came to the realization that short hair is NOT a black hair characteristic. If you want your hair short, great! If you want it longer, it is possible. You do NOT have to resign yourself to having short hair just because you're black.

One woman dared to dream that there could be a place where black women could come together and talk about the growth and maintenance of long hair on black women whether relaxed, texturized, or natural and appropriately named that place the Long Hair Care Forum.

There is no self-hate involved in trying to grow your hair long. Hang with us for a bit longer. You won't find another place on the internet with more educated and enlightened black women happy and proud to be who they are while growing their hair, (whatever the texture may be), as long as they can.

[/ QUOTE ]

As usual, pebbles, thank you for your compassion.

Although I realize this is a volatile subject, I don't think that she was trying to be offensive and I don't take any offense either.

I do, however, second what all the ladies said about long hair being a personal choice and the inevitable, beautiful result of healthy hair. I'd encourage you to think outside the box, sutton. Just because many AA women are used to having unhealthy, short hair due to unhealthy hair practices doesn't make any of us a sell out for going against the grain. Good luck on your hair journey!

 

[nekee]

AS was said before i dont relate long hair to white people, but asians and indians. This persons on this board are not obsessed but i guess as i am , this board is just addictive. I know my hair can get long , it has been there before, so i am just aiming on getting long and Healthy hair.


And it is not only "brown" persons that visit this site, there are many multi-raced persons who are also members AND caucasians and indians also visit here.

thank you

 

[Premierepearl08]

[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
My question is with all due repect: what type length and condition of hair do YOU PERSONALLY think that you as a woman should be eligible and FREE to have? ...not as one of the white race or black race, because there is only one race-human race, being made up of "many nations, tribes and tongues"? Do you personally believe that black women were created separate and not equal with different emotions, needs and wants from white, Asian, Indian etc women?... And finally, does it truly surprise you that many woman just personally prefer to have long hair often because it is considered by them as womenkind to be very desirable and feminine and by their significant others whom they love to please? Look at what we spend on beauty items, perfume, shoes, lotions and lipstick!

As for me personally, long hair....that's just the kinda gal I am. And if you prefer short hair on you... then I support you 100%. There are additionally sites for those who prefer to wear their hair streaked, crimped, hennaed, dyed, short or even to be bald and those sites are equally well supported...All personal choices, wouldn't you say?

One thing that I notice is that East Indian women lavish a lot of love and attention on their hair because they culturally consider long hair a desirable asset to have.

Bonjour.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, what she said.