why do men love long hair??

Discussion in 'Hair Care Tips & Product Review Discussion' started by Freespirit02, Aug 19, 2009.

  1. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    I don't know why men love long hair..but it's becoming really annoying. My boyfriend and I really got into it today because of it. The convo went something like this.

    Boyfriend: Please don't cut your hair again..let it grow
    Me: What the f**k for..(sorry..i have an anger problem)
    Boyfriend: Because I like it..and I think you will look nice with it
    Me: Why should I? If you want me to have long hair..go to the store and buy me some.
    Boyfriend::sad::nono::ohwell::perplexed
    Me:..ask me one more time to grow my hair..and i'm cutting all this (PROFANITY)..off!
    Boyfriend::sad:

    I was really mad..i mean extremely mad. Main reason..it would take me forever to grow my hair. Secondly..i get frustrated and I just cut it off! Thirdly..i don't like people telling me what to do.

    Okay..back to my question..what is up with this whole long hair thing??
     
  2. Neith

    Neith New Member

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    The same reason that women love long hair.

    I feel that it enhances a woman's beauty :) It's pretty and feminine!

    (Not saying that you have to have long hair to be pretty and feminine, of course :))


    But daaaaang.... why do you jump down his throat like that? :perplexed Is this an ongoing thing between you two?

    I wouldn't be mad. He is just saying that he likes long hair. MOST people period like long hair. Nothing is wrong with that.

    I mean... you are here posting on a LONG HAIR care forum. *blinks* People are gonna like long hair especially here. lol

    I'm just saying... it's a little funny to me. :lol:
     
  3. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    It's not really an ongoing thing with us. He has mentioned that he likes long hair before, but this is the first time he requested me to grow long hair. He said it like it was easy..for me it isn't. I was a little annoyed and I felt he requested something almost impossible. I was ready to cut all my hair off..just to piss him off! I don't think he understands how hard it is to grow long hair..
     
  4. robot.

    robot. New Member

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    From the sounds of it, you're making growing hair harder than it has to be.

    Give us some background. Relaxed, natural? Fine/thick strands? Do you know your hair type? Why did/do you want to cut it? What's your regimen like?

    If you're having trouble, you're at the right place to get answers. :yep:
     
  5. Neith

    Neith New Member

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    Maybe just explain that it's not that easy for you to grow long hair and it's something that will take time. You probably have to experiment, research, etc... it's a whole process :yep:

    He's already with you and you don't have long hair... so I don't think that he's some hair fetish type guy... hopefully he'd understand!

    but even you yourself probably like long hair... nothing to get mad at. Don't let your frustration get you down :)
     
  6. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    my hair is now relaxed. My hair is fine stranded. I don't know my hair type. I want to cut it because i get really frustrated..or sometimes bored:yawn:. My regimen is all over the place..trying to find out what works for me
     
  7. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    I don't think he will understand..he made it sound so simple. I feel kind of bad going off on him lol. I guess i just feel a little down on myself..because i've never had long hair..and my mom and sisters don't have long hair..so i figure it's just genetics. He made me cry..:nono:..wasn't a good look at all.
     
  8. Jazzmommy

    Jazzmommy Well-Known Member

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    I hear your frustration... but, as other posters have said -- you have come to the right place.:yep:
    My DH also loves long hair... so does my father. DH bugs me occassionally about when am I going to "press my hair." So, when I wear it down to check my length he's all over me. Uh, so I don't why they do... but, then again I love my hair long as well.
     
  9. FlowerHair

    FlowerHair Flower in Bloom...

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    I don't know why girl, but they do :yep:

    When I wear my hair down I notice a drastic change in the amount of men and even teenage boys staring at my hair.

    It must be deeply ingrained in their psyches...
     
  10. vainღ♥♡jane

    vainღ♥♡jane ღ♥♡honey chile♡♥ღ

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    i guess the same reason we do; its so pretty and girly and feminine. and its different from them. a lot of men where their hair shaved, besides men with locs or white boys with that shaggy thing goin on these days, so maybe they want a woman with hair that doesnt come close to theirs? i dunno. its too early for this lol.
     
  11. buddhas_mom

    buddhas_mom New Member

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    From what Ive been told guys think long hair is sexy and beautiful. And they like to have something to grab on during sex. My ex boyfriend told me this. Kind of funny. Guys love long hair just like all of us love long hair.

    But it is possible for you to grow long hair. It's not as hard as it seems just takes patience and a good regimen. A lot of women on this forum believed they could never grow hair past SL and now they have hair halfway to their butts.
     
  12. Tamrin

    Tamrin unapologetic

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    Because they do. My SO loved natural long hair. He is begging me to transition cause he thinks I will look amazing as a natural and my hair will be longer. So I gave him texlaxed for now.

    OT: Be nicer to him, don't use language like that with someone you love. In the long run it will become the norm and that is not healthy in a loving relationship. He sounds like he loves you and a sweet guy. Respect is a two way street. No matter how angry or annoyed, find other ways to express your annoyance ok. Just some sisterly advice.
     
  13. Hairsnob

    Hairsnob Deep Thinker

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    Co-signing with everything the other posters said.

    But number one, be happy that he told you what he prefers. It's up to you to tell him what's involved with growing long hair and how long it will take. They think it's simple, like if you just don't cut it that it will grow long. We all know it doesn't work that way.

    In the meantime, get you a cheap long wig to wear in the bedroom until it grows out. Believe me, he'll love it. Most men really do enjoy seeing long hair during the act so if you want to see him go crazy then try it.

    In the meantime, try to relax and not cause yourself anymore stress. We all go through our moods, especially after they're so unaware of what we go through as women.

    HTH
     
  14. SweetSpirit86

    SweetSpirit86 New Member

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    I actually turned to my SO and asked him just now, lol. He said it depends, as he's seen some long hair on girls before that was straight busted...Not sexy.:lachen:He also said that for black men, it's more because he sees so many chicks who wear nothing but weave, or never wear their real hair out. A lot of the time he sees black women with those chewed up ends, breakage, damage...just everywhere. To see a woman with long, healthy hair (this doesn't translate "straight" btw:yep:) is very appealing to him.:grin:
     
  15. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    I guess it wouldn't bother me if I had long hair..it just makes me feel insecure.
     
    llan likes this.
  16. unalteredone

    unalteredone New Member

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    I have to be honest, my first thought after reading your first post was "why are you here if you aren't trying to grow long(er) hair?"

    But i think i can understand why you reacted the way you did, because that reminds me of a similar reaction that i used to have before joining LHCF. I went to a predominantly white college, and a lot of my friends were white, or just not black. We would get into conversations about hair every once in a while and I always hated it. I remember one of my then boyfriend's roomates asking me 2+ years ago if i ever wore my hair long because he'd only seen me with short hair (NL-SL). He assumed that it was my choice to have short hair. I told him that i used to have long hair as a kid but that i had damaged it and so it grows but it breaks so it just ends up staying the same length. I was about to cry honestly just saying that., but i was eating in the dining hall so i pulled myself together And then we would get into other hair conversations about relaxers or something and i would realize that it was upsetting me and I'd angrily end the conversation like "I don't want to talk about this anymore!!!" They didnt understand why it made me so mad.

    So all of this is to say that I can understand you're having such a strong reaction to that conversation. To you, it might be somewhat like a man asking a girl who has struggled with weight issues why doesn't she just lose a little weight. If it's something you want too, but feel like you will fail at doing it, you don't want someone there reminding you of those feelings of possible failure. We all know that you can grow your hair long, and it doesn't have to be hard. You just have to be patient while giving your hair the best environment to grow in that you possibly can.
     
  17. vkb247

    vkb247 Well-Known Member

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    I think that long hair is one of nature's ways of indicating good health, strong genes, etc. so it is naturally attractive just like women are generally attracted to healthy looking men with bright eyes and strong bodies. On a conscious level we are saying yum yum but our lizard brains see these traits and believe people with these traits are good for breeding another healthy generation. Survival of the fittest and all that jazz.

    ETA: If what your sweetie said made you feel insecure than you need to let him know that and talk about it. Men aren't mind readers and when you just react strongly you leave him to decide why which could eventually frustrate him. If you talk to him about how you are feeling than you have created an opportunity to get to know each other better and make your relationship stronger instead of creating negative energy.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009
  18. harrison

    harrison New Member

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    Not grabbing the hair... OH MY... I mean... any other alternatives...:spinning::drunk:
     
  19. MonPetite

    MonPetite New Member

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    I think, more accurately, men like SIGNIFICANT hair.

    Even more accurate: "ABUNDANT" HAIR.

    It's a biological marker that a woman is in good health.

    Straight, blonde, red, etc. are CULTURALLY DRIVEN preferences.

    ABUNDANT HAIR either Afro and HUGE or long and straight is a biological marker that signals she is healthy and can bear children.

    The problem, is when society says that only ONE TYPE OF "SIGNIFICANT/ABUNDANT HAIR" is acceptable.

    Which forces people (men, for the most part in that society) to ignore what their BIOLOGY tells them is acceptable -IE, massive Afros.

    DNA says: A lot of thick, healthy hair irregardless of the texture, whether it grows out or down or color equals sexy. ABUNDANT HAIR EQUALS SEXY.

    Sexy, in the most basic sense = can bear children successfully.

    Our society says: ONLY BLONDE, THICK, STRAIGHT HAIR IS SEXY!

    You see the same thing with breasts in our society:

    Biology's take:
    Large breasts (out of proportion to her body, I'm not talking about naturally well-endowed ladies, who have a body that matches their proportions "up top") usually signal a female is NURSING and will have no want "to mate". A handful of well-shaped "bosom", signals a woman has a healthy amount of fat...but is not pregnant or nursing. This means she may be receptive to "mating".

    Society's take:
    The media trains men to think "sexy" (massive, pointy breasts) is something that biologically is NOT. Large breasts on a disturbingly skinny woman should signal she MUST be nursing (when they are out of proportion to her body. Again, I'm not talking about women who are naturally well endowed, my dears).

    This can be seen in the body type preferred by high fashion:
    Particularly in models who are abnormally thin, EVEN FOR A NATURALLY TALL WOMAN (I'm not speaking of women who are naturally petite, which I am -I'm average height however, or naturally tall and slim women).

    The fashion world is attaching the adjectives "beautiful", "sexy", "feminine" to a body type that our DNA says:

    DON'T MATE WITH THAT! She couldn't bring a child to term if she tried!

    While many a super model has had very healthy, lovely children, biologically, men are hard wired prefer a bit of "meat".

    To put it bluntly:
    There's a reason ultra-skinny porn-stars are in short supply.


    I think the "Men and Long Hair" issue is a case of nature vs. nurture.

    Nature says: Abundant, significant hair (NO MATTER WHAT THE TEXTURE OR COLOR) = health. Health = sexy.

    Nurture/society says: Long, straight, blonde, thick hair = sexy. Everything else = Not Sexy. Health? Who cares! This is about appealing to the dominant culture. Health is what we say it is!!
     
  20. dragongirlmk09

    dragongirlmk09 New Member

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    well let me tell you what happen when i let my hair down at work one guy was stareing at me i asked what was his problem he said your hair look different i asked him what do you mean he said it looks like you did something different with you hair so i gucess he had never seen my hair down before and saw that it was that long. so yes i think when guys see a women hair that is long they are like wow i have never seen a black women hair without weave or hair that is long.
     
  21. Traycee

    Traycee New Member

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    You can even go to the scriptures...And God talks about it in book of I Corinthian

    But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her:
    for her hair is given her for covering (I Corinthian 11:14-15)
     
  22. almond eyes

    almond eyes Well-Known Member

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    Wow Little Golden Lamb, interestingly put. Though I think that's why naturally super skinny women get boob jobs to project matability. And this is quite unconscious. However, thinner also can project younger and I am able to have children and still ovulating.

    Yes, even in Africa, Mummy told me growing up that those women with the naturally long afro-textured hair got more props than the short slow growers and those women usually wore head wraps as a way to project greater attraction since their hair was shorter.

    Best,
    Almond Eyes
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009
  23. tocktick

    tocktick Well-Known Member

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    Dang, you went off. I think you over-reacted quite a lot. It's true that many men love hair - maybe it's because of socialisation; for a long time women have traditionally had longer hair because it was deemed a more prized asset and it's still very much tied into the idea of femininity.

    Personally, unless a man is trying to bully me into growing my hair out against my desire (i.e - by becoming verbally abusive etc) or has a clearly vehement and irrational dislike of women with short hair, then I don't see the big deal with that preference. As women, we have many preferences for how we want our men to look because we like it or because we see it as masculine.

    Clearly, men aren't the only one's who love long hair on women. We want it for ourselves, we admire people with it (we stay running into progress threads and most hair idols have long hair) and try hard to obtain it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009
  24. Sumra

    Sumra Well-Known Member

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    Is he white?:look: Random question
     
  25. MrJohnsonsRib

    MrJohnsonsRib New Member

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    Our hair is our glory. Amen? :)
     
  26. MrJohnsonsRib

    MrJohnsonsRib New Member

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    You sho right! ;)
     
  27. MrsHdrLe

    MrsHdrLe New Member

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    My SO/FI likes long hair too. When I first met him, I was the braid extensions diva (I'd worn them for years and was used to it) When I took my braids out the first time about a year or two into our relationship, he was like, "Uh, I like your hair the other way better." I was :angry2::hot:, but I liked him so I did it. Now I'm mostly natural, he's seen me putting the braids in, taking them out, wrapping, baggying, DCing..... and he has come to realize how much work it is and has grown an affection for my curly/kinky wash-n-gos. So my point is, he was conditioned to like a particular look, but (I think) love made him grow with me in my hair journey. Once he saw all that went into healthy, longer, stronger hair and its versatility, it was like getting and new GF every week!
     
  28. Freespirit02

    Freespirit02 New Member

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    He's biracial..his mother is black, father is white..but he has always dated black women
     
  29. joib

    joib New Member

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    This is what I would have told him. You are my twin.
     
  30. Jewell

    Jewell New Member

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    My SO is Caucasian, and though he met me with APL length hair, he never saw my hair down until last month. Its now BSL or a bit past in some areas. I was wearing drawstring ponies as a PS, and my own hair in a bun. He actually has a better attitude about how I wear my hair than ALL of the African-American men I have dated. My SO even commented on how "cute" my Mrs. Celie braids were. I was like, "huh? Thanks." :look: I would never even leave the house with my hair like that, yet he liked it. Another time my hair was just combed out in a big fro and he thought it was a lovely thing. Past negro exes would've been like, "Umm, you need to tame/perm that mess before you go out anywhere with me." That leads me to believe that he is very supportive of my hair and me in general. I don't think being Caucasian means you're likely to prefer long hair...black men can be just as ASININE when it comes to the subject.

    I think Caucasian men are used to seeing long hair, (as far as on Caucasian women) and most Black men aren't used to real (e.g. not extensions) long hair on Black women. When they see it on other women, I guess it becomes a look they largely come to prefer. To many Caucasian men, it simply doesn't matter...they are often more supportive of our own hair being natural/the way it is than people of our own race, SADLY.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009

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