Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come About?

[Shimmie]

I prefer the term "yield", however, it's not about symantics, it about a Sacred and Undivisive Union between a man and a woman who are joined together as 'One.'

However, I am asking the wives who submit to their husbands, just how far until you reach a limit? Have you and to what degree have you drawn the line with submission?

Thank you for sharing, as this will serve as a 'learning' tool for many women whether they are married now, or will be married in the future.

For those wives who are having a struggle in this area or have husbands who have taken submission to their heads , take heart for God is the one who makes all the crooked places straight, all the high places low, and crushes into dust, the gates of iron. God perfects all that concerns you; and makes all things beautiful in His time; all things new.........just for each of you.

 

[neenzmj]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I have been blessed in the fact that because my husband desires to submit his life to God, there has never been a time where I've had to find out what my limit is. The only response I could give would be that my limit would come when/if he ever crossed the line of what God commands.

As God reveals more about this to me, I realize that my first act of submission is to God's word, which in turn causes me to submit to my husband.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I have been blessed in the fact that because my husband desires to submit his life to God, there has never been a time where I've had to find out what my limit is. The only response I could give would be that my limit would come when/if he ever crossed the line of what God commands.

As God reveals more about this to me, I realize that my first act of submission is to God's word, which in turn causes me to submit to my husband.

Thank you neenzmj....Beautiful Response.

I want to 'remove' the stigma and the sting from the term 'submit.' For it truly is a beautiful element of Marriage.

God bless you....

 

[mrselle]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I once heard a pastor say that if a wife has a husband who is submissive to God, then she should have no issue being submissive to her husband. Some of the best advice I received before I got married was from a friend's mother. She is the wife of a pastor. She told me that if me and my husband cannot agree on something then let him make the final decision. I can't say there has ever been a time when I had to draw the line. There have been times when we didn't agree and I let my husband make the final decision, but I know my husband is sensitive to the voice of God and if he is doing something wrong or leading our household down the wrong path then God will warn him and he will take heed to His warning.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I once heard a pastor say that if a wife has a husband who is submissive to God, then she should have no issue being submissive to her husband.

Some of the best advice I received before I got married was from a friend's mother. She is the wife of a pastor. She told me that if me and my husband cannot agree on something then let him make the final decision. I can't say there has ever been a time when I had to draw the line. There have been times when we didn't agree and I let my husband make the final decision, but I know my husband is sensitive to the voice of God and if he is doing something wrong or leading our household down the wrong path then God will warn him and he will take heed to His warning.

Another beautiful answer.... Thank you Mrselle

 

[HWAY]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I used to pray for a husband who loves God and would take the lead spiritually. I married a man who knew very little about the bible. I began attending a new church 2 and a half years ago. My mom advised me to keep praying and attending church by myself. Last September, while attending a family reunion in SC, we attended a church service, and my husband enjoyed it. He began attending church with me. I didn't insist on studying the bible with him. I allowed him to grow at his own pace. It also helped that the deacons in the church took a strong interest in him. He loves God and loves me and has a good heart. That allows me to be comfortable allowing him to make decisions.
For instance, we cared for his nephew for over a year. I was in college and worked full-time, but I made room for this arrangement because it was important to him and he wanted the best for the baby. My submision made our relationship stronger and made him respect him me more.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I used to pray for a husband who loves God and would take the lead spiritually. I married a man who knew very little about the bible. I began attending a new church 2 and a half years ago. My mom advised me to keep praying and attending church by myself. Last September, while attending a family reunion in SC, we attended a church service, and my husband enjoyed it. He began attending church with me. I didn't insist on studying the bible with him. I allowed him to grow at his own pace. It also helped that the deacons in the church took a strong interest in him. He loves God and loves me and has a good heart. That allows me to be comfortable allowing him to make decisions.
For instance, we cared for his nephew for over a year. I was in college and worked full-time, but I made room for this arrangement because it was important to him and he wanted the best for the baby. My submision made our relationship stronger and made him respect him me more.

A beautiful testimony and a big sacrifice to take on your nephew care. You indeed took the High Way....you took God's Way.

Blessings on your marriage and may you both continue in love and devotion towards one another. In Jesus's name, Amen and Amen. :Rose:

 

[chrstndiva]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I have been blessed in the fact that because my husband desires to submit his life to God, there has never been a time where I've had to find out what my limit is. The only response I could give would be that my limit would come when/if he ever crossed the line of what God commands.

As God reveals more about this to me, I realize that my first act of submission is to God's word, which in turn causes me to submit to my husband.

I completely agree. I have also been blessed with a husband who desires to submit his life to God. I too have the same desire, so most of the time it is not an issue and we are both on the same page.

However, since neither of us are perfect and we are both very strong individuals, there have been a few times (not often) when I have been concerned about a decision or situation, and during these times I now pray before approaching my husband.

There is a way to voice concern about things without challenging your husband in an adversarial way so that a discussion follows, not an argument. I learned the right way after a few stumbles in our first year of marriage (he didn't hear me if I came at him wrong and vice versa). This became a time for us to really talk to each other about God's vision for our family, for him to relieve my concerns if unwarranted or for me to point out something that perhaps he did not consider. Sometimes we end up praying together about the decision or situation and it only brings us closer together, but regardless of the outcome, I support my husband.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I completely agree. I have also been blessed with a husband who desires to submit his life to God. I too have the same desire, so most of the time it is not an issue and we are both on the same page.

However, since neither of us are perfect and we are both very strong individuals, there have been a few times (not often) when I have been concerned about a decision or situation, and during these times I now pray before approaching my husband.

There is a way to voice concern about things without challenging your husband in an adversarial way so that a discussion follows, not an argument. I learned the right way after a few stumbles in our first year of marriage (he didn't hear me if I came at him wrong and vice versa). This became a time for us to really talk to each other about God's vision for our family, for him to relieve my concerns if unwarranted or for me to point out something that perhaps he did not consider. Sometimes we end up praying together about the decision or situation and it only brings us closer together, but regardless of the outcome, I support my husband.

I like how you shared this.....

"came at him wrong' and also that you shared you are both 'strong individuals.'

Your words 'triggered' my spirit. I fit this exactly. I am very strong and I can come wrong. And this is something that I have to allow God to work on with me, as He prepares me for marriage.

I have to be honest, that I have not been 'willing' to let go of my individual mind-set, my independence. All ready, I've pre-battled in my mind about somethings that I will have to have and things that I will not have. And yet I wonder how can I still have my way without making waves or as you shared, 'coming at him wrong'. It's not my way, is it?

Thank you, again, for the Lord has used ou to answer something that has been bothering me for quite a while.... releasing me, yielding to the Lord.

 

[jerseygurl]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

As a single woman, I find that the word "submit" has been used to subdue women for ages.The way it ws intended in the bible is not the way it is been used today. I don't believe that I would be averse to submitting to my husband but if he always uses that phrase when he wants his way, then I have a problem with it.

I was in a relationship last year and the dude kept throwing that phrase at me everytime I would call him out on something that he did. So anyways, It got to a point where I had to break up with him.

The word is not the problem, it's the context that it's been used in (JMO)

 

[chrstndiva]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I like how you shared this.....

"came at him wrong' and also that you shared you are both 'strong individuals.'

Your words 'triggered' my spirit. I fit this exactly. I am very strong and I can come wrong. And this is something that I have to allow God to work on with me, as He prepares me for marriage.

I have to be honest, that I have not been 'willing' to let go of my individual mind-set, my independence. All ready, I've pre-battled in my mind about somethings that I will have to have and things that I will not have. And yet I wonder how can I still have my way without making waves or as you shared, 'coming at him wrong'. It's not my way, is it?

Thank you, again, for the Lord has used ou to answer something that has been bothering me for quite a while.... releasing me, yielding to the Lord.

Hi Shimmie,

You don't have to let go completely of your individual mind set or independence. You don't want to lose who God created you to be in your marriage. God did not make a mistake when He made you a strong woman. The goal is not to blend into marriage, the goal is to come together with all that God has gifted both you and your husband-to-be (flaws and all ) to become stronger together.

For me, I had to learn the following:
1) How to communicate with my husband in a healthy way regardless of the topic. Sticking to the issues: not attacking, blaming, being more sensitive to his point of view
2) Changing my mentality from "I" to "we". This was a big one.
3) Showing appreciation and giving credit to him for all the good things that he does. (It encourages him to do more. )

I am still me, and he is still who he is. Our marriage isn't perfect, but we are really happy. We have just decided that whatever comes our way, we will come together and work it out together.

I pray that you will never lose Shimmie, because as the word says in Ephesians 2:10
“For we(Shimmie) are(is) God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us(Shimmie) to do.”

 

[Southernbella.]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I once heard a pastor say that if a wife has a husband who is submissive to God, then she should have no issue being submissive to her husband. Some of the best advice I received before I got married was from a friend's mother. She is the wife of a pastor. She told me that if me and my husband cannot agree on something then let him make the final decision. I can't say there has ever been a time when I had to draw the line. There have been times when we didn't agree and I let my husband make the final decision, but I know my husband is sensitive to the voice of God and if he is doing something wrong or leading our household down the wrong path then God will warn him and he will take heed to His warning.

Great post!

Once I stopped fighting it, I realized that submission is more a spirit than an action. Once I focused on having a submissive spirit, I saw an improvement in my marriage. I can only think of one time I've had to submit to something I was deadset against, but it worked out. God only wanted my out of the way so HE could speak to my dh, and my dh listened.

I think I always had the wrong idea about submission. It doesn't mean being weak. My dh loves how outspoken and opinionated I am, but having a submissive spirit means knowing when it's time to be quiet and keep your opinions to yourself. Actually, I'm still working on that.

 

[jerseygurl]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Great post!

Once I stopped fighting it, I realized that submission is more a spirit than an action. Once I focused on having a submissive spirit, I saw an improvement in my marriage. I can only think of one time I've had to submit to something I was deadset against, but it worked out. God only wanted my out of the way so HE could speak to my dh, and my dh listened.

I think I always had the wrong idea about submission. It doesn't mean being weak. My dh loves how outspoken and opinionated I am, but having a submissive spirit means knowing when it's time to be quiet and keep your opinions to yourself. Actually, I'm still working on that.

That in a nutshell should what it's about not physical submission. In my case the guy wanted to control my life literally

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Hi Shimmie,

You don't have to let go completely of your individual mind set or independence. You don't want to lose who God created you to be in your marriage. God did not make a mistake when He made you a strong woman. The goal is not to blend into marriage, the goal is to come together with all that God has gifted both you and your husband-to-be (flaws and all ) to become stronger together.

For me, I had to learn the following:
1) How to communicate with my husband in a healthy way regardless of the topic. Sticking to the issues: not attacking, blaming, being more sensitive to his point of view
2) Changing my mentality from "I" to "we". This was a big one.
3) Showing appreciation and giving credit to him for all the good things that he does. (It encourages him to do more. )

I am still me, and he is still who he is. Our marriage isn't perfect, but we are really happy. We have just decided that whatever comes our way, we will come together and work it out together.

I pray that you will never lose Shimmie, because as the word says in Ephesians 2:10
“For we(Shimmie) are(is) God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us(Shimmie) to do.”

This is making me cry. Ephesians 2 is one of my Hallmark Scriptures that the Lord gave me years ago when God said He was preparing me...

We are brought nigh unto one another by the blood of the Lamb. "Fitly joined"..............unto one another.

God's dealing with me and I always know why. Whenever He's making room for something new in my life. I've been resisting.

Both you and Mrselle have shared some things that hit home with me.

chrstndiva, thank you so much. You have an annointing upon you that gently discerns and sees through the walls that hearts hide behind. You have a Ministry in this gift. You saw through me.

When I started this thread, I was 'running' and the answers caught up with me anyway.

To God be the glory...

 

[missjanelleb]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I prefer the term "yield", however, it's not about symantics, it about a Sacred and Undivisive Union between a man and a woman who are joined together as 'One.'

However, I am asking the wives who submit to their husbands, just how far until you reach a limit? Have you and to what degree have you drawn the line with submission?

Thank you for sharing, as this will serve as a 'learning' tool for many women whether they are married now, or will be married in the future.

For those wives who are having a struggle in this area or have husbands who have taken submission to their heads , take heart for God is the one who makes all the crooked places straight, all the high places low, and crushes into dust, the gates of iron. God perfects all that concerns you; and makes all things beautiful in His time; all things new.........just for each of you.

My pastor started breaking this down on Sunday. Here are the cliff notes: Submit means to come under. When you marry, you are now under the covering of your husband. He is the head.

There is power is submission

The man is the head, the woman is the heart. A head with no heart is dead. Think about when your dad, or father figure did something to uspet your mom; what was the atmosphere in the house like? If you knew, you were likely upset with him for upsetting your mom.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

My pastor started breaking this down on Sunday. Here are the cliff notes: Submit means to come under. When you marry, you are now under the covering of your husband. He is the head.

There is power is submission

The man is the head, the woman is the heart. A head with no heart is dead. Think about when your dad, or father figure did something to uspet your mom; what was the atmosphere in the house like? If you knew, you were likely upset with him for upsetting your mom.

Wow! missdh. This is very warming to my heart. For the head without the 'Heart' is dead.

I will treasure this. I'm so used to being 'my own boss'; and I'm being 'broken' and yet strengthened by each of you here. I cannot thank you enough.

I thought I was helping 'others' here who share a 'challenge' with the term/word 'submit'. But now that I'm becoming closer to that 'position', I find that I'm the one with the problem.

So, to each of you who have shared so much with me, here's my heart, :heart2:

 

[SilentRuby]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I'm thankful to the OP for starting this thread because recently I have been going back and forth over this topic in my head.

I must say all of these posts have been on point.

I feared getting into a marriage where the husband uses "submission" in the wrong context. I, too, felt like some men nowadays think submission is where women just supposed to do anything and everything the man says without having a say while the man does whatever he wants.

But I remember what my mom told me and what you ladies just said about if your husband is submitting to the Lord then you should have no problem submitting to him.

Great topic

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I'm thankful to the OP for starting this thread because recently I have been going back and forth over this topic in my head.

I must say all of these posts have been on point.

I feared getting into a marriage where the husband uses "submission" in the wrong context. I, too, felt like some men nowadays think submission is where women just supposed to do anything and everything the man says without having a say while the man does whatever he wants.

But I remember what my mom told me and what you ladies just said about if your husband is submitting to the Lord then you should have no problem submitting to him.

Great topic

I thank YOU, Pocket Size.

I didn't have a 'problem' with this 'word' until recently when it has 'hit' me personally. God has been dealing with me about changes in my life and this is one of them that I have been struggling with.

It's one thing for God to use me to minster in marriages, but now I'm being ministered to by each of you and I'm not even married, yet. But it's so close; and I've been in a place of assessment, as to what am I willing to change/give up in my life. 'What will I still have that's mine? I'm so used to being in control. Coming/going when / where and as I please. I never thought about it much until now.

Marriage is a big, major adjustment....

The word 'submit' ... when you're in love, sounds easy and you don't really pay any attention to it. But when you are confronted with it......

a whole nuther thing.....

I'm so blessed to have Jesus in this with me. And so is 'he'......

 

[Loves Harmony]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

I used to pray for a husband who loves God and would take the lead spiritually. I married a man who knew very little about the bible. I began attending a new church 2 and a half years ago. My mom advised me to keep praying and attending church by myself. Last September, while attending a family reunion in SC, we attended a church service, and my husband enjoyed it. He began attending church with me. I didn't insist on studying the bible with him. I allowed him to grow at his own pace. It also helped that the deacons in the church took a strong interest in him. He loves God and loves me and has a good heart. That allows me to be comfortable allowing him to make decisions.
For instance, we cared for his nephew for over a year. I was in college and worked full-time, but I made room for this arrangement because it was important to him and he wanted the best for the baby. My submision made our relationship stronger and made him respect him me more.

Sounds liek what im going through right now. i want the both of us to attend but i cant force him. I will continue to pray for the both of us and hopefully he will attend.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Sounds liek what im going through right now. i want the both of us to attend but i cant force him. I will continue to pray for the both of us and hopefully he will attend.

Loves Harmony, I will pray for you and your husband too.

Keep these words in your heart:

"Love follows Love..."

Your husband loves you and your love for him will draw him only nearer to you and not far apart.

"For you have been brought nigh unto one another by the Blood of Jesus." (Ephesians 2).

Keep praising God and praise your husband; remain his Cheerleader. One day, you will look up and he'll be driving you to Church..... to stay.... and worship beside you, for always.

God bless you both. Happy Love and Life together, forever as one in Jesus.

Father God, It thank you for this beautiful couple and their marriage, in Jesus's Name, Amen and Amen.

 

[HWAY]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. Pay attention to couples who have been married for over twenty years. My mother always supports my father and they have stood as a united front for 43 years. My mom carries herself as a queen and my father treats her as such. They disagree but I have never witnessed a violent argument.


Never speak negatively against your husband, not even to yourself. As Shimmie said, be your husband's cheerleader. Encourage him to be the best person he can be.

 

[ladyofvirtue]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Hey Shim,

Even though I can see much growth in this area, I'm still, "ahem", learning how to submit to my DH.

Cause, just sometimes, I'm like this:

erplexed

I'm a very strong willed lady, so submitting to him, in the beginning of my marriage, was very difficult for me to do.

Through much prayer, Bible study, noticing how blessed I am to have him in comparison to a lot of other men, AND conviction of The Holy Spirit, The Lord has helped me to grow quite a bit in this area.

In the beginning, he used to call me Mrs. Drill Sargeant.

Now, I'm known as Dearie or Poopsie.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Hey Shim,

Even though I can see much growth in this area, I'm still, "ahem", learning how to submit to my DH.

Cause, just sometimes, I'm like this:

erplexed

I'm a very strong willed lady, so submitting to him, in the beginning of my marriage, was very difficult for me to do.

Through much prayer, Bible study, noticing how blessed I am to have him in comparison to a lot of other men, AND conviction of The Holy Spirit, The Lord has helped me to grow quite a bit in this area.

In the beginning, he used to call me Mrs. Drill Sargeant.

Now, I'm known as Dearie or Poopsie.

Poopsie.... that's so cute.

I didn't become so strong willed until I was saved. We were 'trained' that way to withstand in prayer, intercession, and fasting. We were truly taught to fight against our flesh and our will and not yield to the temptations to be distracted and give up; but to stand steadfast in faith and in prayer.

Now, I'm not blaming God for my strong temperment

But ah-ruh....

Blessings upon you and your wonderful marriage and your wonderful husband... "Mr. Poopsie".

 

[missykeyana]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

As I went deeper into God's Word, it became easier. As long as he is submitting to the Lord, there should be no problem. In fact, it becomes a joy as I realized that God has put me in the earthly care of such a man.

Under no circumstances would I submit to a man who is willfully rebelling against God. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that he's breaking his marriage vows.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

As I went deeper into God's Word, it became easier. As long as he is submitting to the Lord, there should be no problem.

In fact, it becomes a joy as I realized that God has put me in the earthly care of such a man.

Under no circumstances would I submit to a man who is willfully rebelling against God. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that he's breaking his marriage vows.

Thank you misskeyana (beautiful name, Keyana :Rose.

And what you said above (bolded) is one of the most honoring words that a wife can say of her husband. It belongs in a card.

Such as:

To My Husband:

When I first became your wife, I always thought that as a woman of strength, that I had it all together; that I could always follow my own direction, my own path.

Yet you have shown me what real strength is, with how much has been asked of you as a Man.

I've watched you take ahold of each challenge set before you; I've watched you withstand every command upon your energy, your faith, and yes, my Dearest Darling, even the commands upon your love.

And Dearest One,

You never waivered, you never gave in, you never chose to walk away. With me and all of love's demands, you've chosen to stay.

Therefore each day, My Love,

I have realized and received with much Joy that God has put me in the earthly care of such a man...

Such a Man, as you.

I love you, My Love; with all of my heart, I love you and I always will.

My Dearest Husband,

"Wherever you lead, I will follow; with you I will go. For we are 'One' in this life and forever.

In Jesus's Name, Amen.



The front of the Card:

:Rose: "Our Footsteps are One" :Rose:

 

[Naemone]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Thank you misskeyana (beautiful name, Keyana :Rose.

And what you said above (bolded) is one of the most honoring words that a wife can say of her husband. It belongs in a card.

Such as:

To My Husband:

When I first became your wife, I always thought that as a woman of strength, that I had it all together; that I could always follow my own direction, my own path.

Yet you have shown me what real strength is, with how much has been asked of you as a Man.

I've watched you take ahold of each challenge set before you; I've watched you withstand every command upon your energy, your faith, and yes, my Dearest Darling, even the commands upon your love.

And Dearest One,

You never waivered, you never gave in, you never chose to walk away. With me and all of love's demands, you've chosen to stay.

Therefore each day, My Love,

I have realized and received with much Joy that God has put me in the earthly care of such a man...

Such a Man, as you.

I love you, My Love; with all of my heart, I love you and I always will.

My Dearest Husband,

"Wherever you lead, I will follow; with you I will go. For we are 'One' in this life and forever.

In Jesus's Name, Amen.



The front of the Card:

:Rose: "Our Footsteps are One" :Rose:

Lovely!!!

 

[Shimmie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Lovely!!!

Thank you

Thanks to each one of you here, I'm growing in the Lord, with this virtue named "submission"...... :blush3:

I'm going to create a card and save it for an 'appointed time' ...... just for him. :Rose:

 

[missykeyana]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Aw Shimmie, that was so sweet!

 

[Aggie]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Oooooh I'm not married yet, but I am subscribing to read later because I do want to get married pretty soon.

 

[melodies815]

Re: Wives Who Submit to Their Husbands: What Do You Submit to and How Does it Come Ab

Shimmie,

I was walking around my kitchen the morning, and I thought of you. I wondered how you are doing and decided that I need to utilize the Christian forum a little more since I am on here lurking (and sometimes writing) so much. It's wonderful to "see" you again.

This is a wonderful thread!

To start, I just want to make it plain that I feel wierd writing this, and I actually deleted it once, but then came back because I feel like maybe this will be helpful. I really hope that it is and that my words come across the way I mean them.

I guess, since there has been so much said already, I can just tell a bit of my submission journey and tell the blessing of it. This is what submission looks like in our home and for our personalities.

When I got married, I wanted to submit. I wanted my husband to be happy with our marriage and for it to be a haven for him. I just didn't know how to do the things that pleased him. I knew what to do, but just not the manner of how he wanted it. So...I took time to learn his personality, find out the little things that make him smile out of the blue, and learned how to cultivate those things in my character. I am a submissive wife, and my husband is trustworthy and leads our home well. I pray that we always remain submitted to the Word of God because it's a lack of submission to the Father that causes any unbalance in our lives. We don't take that for granted!!!

This does NOT mean that I do everything he says immediately or lie down with no opinion; sometimes I think he says ludicrous things (just like he thinks I do the same!) and I have to pray and figure out when or if to say something to him about it. Most times, it only takes prayer either for me to realize I am dead wrong or for the Lord to correct Him. There are also times when he needs to be confronted about an issue, and I have to go to him boldly but in love and gentleness (speaking to him the way I want to be spoken to).

It's taken trial and error, and though we are still learning one another and hopefully always will be doing so...we are at peace with one another. I really enjoy marriage and I deeply enjoy my husband. I really, really, really enjoy being married...and it has not been all perfect. It's just nice to walk beside another imperfect human being who is trying his best to walk like Christ did...

Submission, for me, came easily, and this is not a boast...but it is a truth and it is only because of Christ. I WANTED to be led by my Sweetie and to watch him become the man God created Him to be. More than he is my husband, he is my best friend and brother in the Lord. I see his face sometimes when he does something husband-ly and it makes me want to cry for joy. My submission teaches him something about how he is to protect me...and his leadership makes me want to submit even more.

By submission, I mean things like:
* Making a healthy dinner nearly every night and planning my week so that little gets in the way of that.
* Being available to talk anytime he wants to do so.
* Being quiet when he asks (or tells) me to do so. His job is stressful, and sometimes, all he wants is to just be still and lie quietly.
* Initiating Bible study or being ready when he initiates - NO MATTER WHAT I AM DOING!
* Praying over him, his mind, his emotions, every single day in his hearing
* Encouraging him to be more gentle, more kind, more patient, and less of a "hunter" inside of our home.
* Taking most of my emotional issues to Christ ALONE and to hubby only when they truly involve him and he can be of some real/active help outside of listening.
* Liking a couple of the things he really likes (PS3 and cars) and respecting the things I don't really enjoy (deep sea fishing and pets)
* Finding the courage to not back down off of the areas where his character needs to grow. This is the hardest for me because I HATE to see him upset or angry, but sometimes...every now and then...I have to disrupt the normally scheduled program and just treat him like a brother in the church who is acting out. It's not hard for me to tell him the truth, but it is hard for me to do it WHEN it needs to be done. He doesn't have trouble doing it for me, however...
* Submitting even when he is not being a good guy. We have had days when he was really being crazy, and I had to still love deeply, still be available physically (YES M'AM, I said it! lol), still speak kindly, still serve, and still let him know that I stand beside him as he grows in the Lord. Submitting to a good man is easy. It doesn't become character that God can use until it is inconvenient...and I am not talking about a man who beats a woman or smokes crack and puts her life in jeopardy. I am, however, talking about still loving and maintaining character when it makes no sense to do so..when he has snapped or raised his voice or done something unfair. Love has a way of covering sin, smoldering the flame of it, and putting it out in one way or another.

God is sovereign that way, and I have watched Him be faithful to me in this precious marriage of mine. One day, when hubby says so, I will have to tell our whole testimony....

I need to go back and read this entire thread at some point because I know it's going to bless me. I pray that all the single women who want to be wives will notice just how precious the Body of Christ is to the Lord God and the lengths that God went to to draw her close to Him. It will give you a great picture of how the husband and wife are supposed to be in marriage.

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention that Dexter is submissive as well...though the roles are a bit different, wives and husband submit one to another in the Lord.

Have I just written a long, useless, post? Sorry if I repeated everything that everyone else has already said...

Be encouraged in the Lord alone,
Christi

(Sorry this was so long. I feel wierd posting something like this...)