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Wypipo going CRAZY for this Gabby Petito case

msbettyboop

Well-Known Member
I don't know if this makes any difference to someone but if you don't have a door camera or alarm, one thing you can do in the meantime is when you leave your apartment, put things a certain way and leave certain doors open. If someone comes in to hide, they are likely to move or switch something before hiding and you are bound to notice it as soon as you come in. If you do, leave immediately and call the police. Do not do the white people, "Is anybody there?" thing until Freddie Kruger comes out of the closet or laundry room to fillet you. I'm extra paranoid so I do this in addition to the door camera/alarm.
 

vevster

Well-Known Member
If you change the locks and your landlord finds out, be prepared for them to change the locks again and charge you for the inconvenience.
Hasn’t happened to me. You would think they would ask for a key first before going to the expense.
 

Black Ambrosia

Well-Known Member
Hasn’t happened to me. You would think they would ask for a key first before going to the expense.
I understand the desire to do this for your peace of mind but, as a landlord, there's no way I'd be interested in politely asking for a key to a property I own. If you look at it that way, the perspective changes completely. The lease agreement I use for my tenants explicitly states that the locks aren't to be changed and if they are then the tenant is responsible for the expense of installing new locks. Honestly I'd seriously consider not renewing the lease if I had this happen. As a landlord, it's a red flag.
 
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vevster

Well-Known Member
I would double check this. I am using a pretty standard lease for properties in three different states and they all include this. If there is an emergency and they need to get in to shut off water, gas or whatever then this could delay them and make you responsible for the damage that results from that delay.
I hear you and I am prepared to pay.
I have had supers hit on me, I don't want them to have the key to my place.... Of course if there is an emergency and they have to break in I know I have to pay up. That is the risk I am prepared to accept.
 

Chicoro

From Shea Butter Hater to Shea Butter Caker!
I don't know if this makes any difference to someone but if you don't have a door camera or alarm, one thing you can do in the meantime is when you leave your apartment, put things a certain way and leave certain doors open. If someone comes in to hide, they are likely to move or switch something before hiding and you are bound to notice it as soon as you come in. If you do, leave immediately and call the police. Do not do the white people, "Is anybody there?" thing until Freddie Kruger comes out of the closet or laundry room to fillet you. I'm extra paranoid so I do this in addition to the door camera/alarm.
I love this!!! Now, THIS, I can implement.
 

Chicoro

From Shea Butter Hater to Shea Butter Caker!
Was

There is also the tiny piece of tape trick where you tape the door so that you can tell of someone entered while you are gone. Don’t be paranoid though. This kind of thing is incredibly rare and most women are killed by someone that they are dating.
Thank you.

Even more frightening [to me], is that women are also killed by men to whom they are currently married or to whom they were married.

It’s not fair for me to blame women and say, “Their pickers/choosing skills are off”. But, if men are the ones doing all this killing of women, then, the onus or responsibility unfortunately does fall on the women to choose better. Because after all, if you as a woman choose wrongly, you are literally and potentially putting your life at stake. That seems grossly unfair. But we can all look around and see the outcomes of life’s unfairness all around us.

The last thing I wish to add is that having authentic, developed, strong self-esteem seems to be one of the best ways to help with your picker. I used to confuse a women's accomplishments with self-esteem and having it together. Just because a persn has had many great accomplishments DOES not mean that they have high self-esteem. For women, we have got to learn to love ourselves first and more so than any significant other or partner.
 
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guudhair

Well-Known Member
Hopefully this camera setup will help her get the guy..... reminds me to always have my keys at the ready. No excessive fumbling.

This is so scary! I’m happy she was faster than he was. I wouldn’t be surprised if he‘s out on parole for harming someone. I’m tired of criminals getting released early…many of them shouldn’t be released at all.
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
My friend rents a house and her children were home alone including her teenaged daughter. The landlord entered without letting her know he was coming and the daughter was 1/2 dressed and in her room. She texted him and asked her to let him know next time and he told her "this is my home, don't be rude, you're just a renter." He also said as he entered, he knocked and announced himself to the children.

She is livid because she is recently divorced, the youngest are REALLY young and she feels extremely vulnerable. Many folk commented that legally he is at least supposed to announce himself. But I don't know the laws. A few landlords said the same (he is supposed to announce himself). I'd be livid.
 

Kanky

Well-Known Member
My friend rents a house and her children were home alone including her teenaged daughter. The landlord entered without letting her know he was coming and the daughter was 1/2 dressed and in her room. She texted him and asked her to let him know next time and he told her "this is my home, don't be rude, you're just a renter." He also said as he entered, he knocked and announced himself to the children.

She is livid because she is recently divorced, the youngest are REALLY young and she feels extremely vulnerable. Many folk commented that legally he is at least supposed to announce himself. But I don't know the laws. A few landlords said the same (he is supposed to announce himself). I'd be livid.
She needs to check the laws in her state because this sounds like crazy to me. You have to give notice here unless there is an emergency that could cause damage to the property. He is probably a pervert. She should move as soon as possible. In the short term tell him that he needs to knock and wait to be let in so that she doesn’t accidentally shoot him thinking that he is a burglar. :look:
 

msbettyboop

Well-Known Member
My friend rents a house and her children were home alone including her teenaged daughter. The landlord entered without letting her know he was coming and the daughter was 1/2 dressed and in her room. She texted him and asked her to let him know next time and he told her "this is my home, don't be rude, you're just a renter." He also said as he entered, he knocked and announced himself to the children.

She is livid because she is recently divorced, the youngest are REALLY young and she feels extremely vulnerable. Many folk commented that legally he is at least supposed to announce himself. But I don't know the laws. A few landlords said the same (he is supposed to announce himself). I'd be livid.

This is what I use to prevent such insanity from happening to me. Good luck getting in with that. You can't just enter unannounced/without notice because you're the landlord you creepy :censored::censored::censored::censored:. Where I live, you have to provide 24 hours notice before entering the property but some landlords still overstep because people be crazy.
 

naturalgyrl5199

Well-Known Member
She needs to check the laws in her state because this sounds like crazy to me. You have to give notice here unless there is an emergency that could cause damage to the property. He is probably a pervert. She should move as soon as possible. In the short term tell him that he needs to knock and wait to be let in so that she doesn’t accidentally shoot him thinking that he is a burglar. :look:
Ugh and she said he's black. She says its happened before and there was a conversation and he ignores her. She is moving next month. We all think she should be reporting him.
 

Black Ambrosia

Well-Known Member
It definitely depends on the state. Some states have really strong tenant protections. Why was he coming into the house multiple times anyway? Aside from property issues, I don't just stop by. If there aren't any issues I'll come by once a year to make sure they aren't abusing the property but I always give 72 hours notice because I know what can happen when you walk up on someone that's not expecting you.

ETA: If tenants pay slow I'll check up on things more frequently because I've been burned before.
 
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beloved1bx

Well-Known Member
You can’t.
If someone wants to hurt you, it’s not difficult for them to do it, especially if you are not aware of their nefarious intentions. Women are especially vulnerable for many reasons. So you have to remain vigilant. Most importantly, trust your instincts.

Too often we dismiss that internal guidance as being over the top or, inaccurate. Always listen and act in accordance with it.
I was reading a Reddit thread where women were listing their favorite books and one called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker kept coming up over and over and over again. One poster said that she gives the book to every young woman she knows who is about to start college. I added it to my list but haven't read it yet. But I believe it speaks to what you're saying @Chicoro, which is that we need to pick up on certain signs and trust our spidy senses.

Here's the book description:
—— A carjacker lurking in a shopping mall parking lot. An abusive husband pounding on the door. A disgruntled employee brandishing a gun. These days, no one is safe from the specter of violence. But according to Gavin de Becker, everyone can feel safer, act safer, be safer -- if they learn how to listen to their own sixth sense about danger. De Becker has made a career of protecting people and predicting violent behavior. His firm handles security for many of the leading figures in Hollywood and Silicon Valley, and his computerized risk-assessment system helps analyze threats to members of Congress and the Supreme Court. Now, in this unprecedented guide, de Becker shares his expertise with everyone. Covering all the dangerous situations people typically face -- street crime, domestic abuse, violence in the workplace -- de Becker provides real-life examples and offers specific advice on restraining orders, self-defense, and more. But the key to self-protection, he demonstrates, is learning how to trust our own intuitions. For everyone who's ever felt threatened, this book is essential reading.


My manager also told me about this other book Spy Secrets That Can Save Your Life: A Former CIA Officer Reveals Safety and Survival Techniques to Keep You and Your Family Protected.
 
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