You must be from another country-Look@ your hair.

[Ms Lala]

Hey ladies,

I don't post much but had to share this story. I work at a high school and yesterday I had the oddest conversation w/one of my female students.

student- Hi Mrs. X , What country are you from?
Me- hugh? (looking completely confused)
student- Janet said you were from another country and I thought you were too, where are you from?
Me- Chicago (while laughing), what made you think I was from another country?
student-your hair, it's long, (another student chimes in "and it's natural")

I was really shocked. I couldn't believe that these kids think that black (meant to say AFrican-American) women can't grow long hair. I have 4ab type hair and I think they are used to seeing looser texture hair that is long. They were all young black girls and it just saddened me that they would feel this way. I'm not sure how or if I should address it w/them later. I just kind of laughed it off because we were getting ready to start an assembly.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

aww that's sad.
I remember my school days we always figured if you had long hair it was because you had to be mixed with something
usually
Indian

 

[Duchesse]

Your hair is long and natural...you sho' you ain't mixed?

Just j/k! I think you should address it with the girls. Maybe give them a quick lesson on healthy hair habits and that all black women can grow hair. I work with teens too and I have seen some HAM heads of hair...most really don't think that there are alternatives to having damaged relaxed hair or weaves.

 

[Chromia]

When I was that age I thought that a black woman with long hair must have been different from me somehow. Those students are probably used to seeing weaves or damaged hair on black women.

 

[mscocoface]

If you look at what the hairstyles and haircare are in the school system particularly for girls of color, this makes perfect sense they would not have any idea you can grow your own hair long and NATURAL.

We have a loooooooooong way to go to change the minds and thinking about natural haircare for women of color.

But, if we can teach one then who knows how many we can reach.

 

[MonPetite]

With a 2" TWA I had a (Black) cashier ask me where I was from, because:

"You don't look like somebody from here [America]."

It's worrisome. Healthy hair doesn't have a specific nationality.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Ladies, we really have to get the word out.....seriously.

Little girls still growing up with these complexes is ridiculous.

I had complexes about my hair too when I was little mostly because of the taunting I got from other students for being the dreaded type 4.

We have the information, we gotta pay it forward, each one teach one.

Hair is one of the things that make us unique, its so closely tied to self-esteem.

I would definitely talk to those girls.

Let's pay it forward.

 

[Lola Laughs]

Unfortunately, we live in an era where young girls' self-image is influenced so heavily by what they see in music videos and the like. Beyonce's hair and whatit represents has become the holy grail for them. Thinking aboutthose girls just makes my so sad inside, it really does. The most I know to do is lead by example and try to lay a solid foundation for for 2 DDs while they're still young.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

^ Outside influences do make an impact but I think the examples made at home will ultimately be the most powerful.

My mom has been natural 99% of my life and has always praised and encouraged being natural and I think the exposure to that made the biggest most lasting difference in my perspective.

 

[Almaz]

Depending on where you are this will not be the first nor the last time someone will say this to you. I get this too and the unfortunately when I tell them where I am from it validates their poor thinking. Meanwhile 2 of my Foster Daughters and the 4 type hair and it is all the way down their backs It was not like that when they came to me but with a lot of work and care they have long hair these girls are born and raised African Americans they are from here their parents and their parents are from here.

What is the excuse then.

One of my FD when she was younger telling me about some girl at her school that wanted to FIGHT her because even though my FD is very dark she got long hair so she think she better than errbody else. Boy we have a long way to go keep the word out.

(Sidebar) Has anyone on here ever had someone that wanted to fight you in school because of your hair.??? I thought this was very odd.

 

[Lola Laughs]

^ Outside influences do make an impact but I think the examples made at home will ultimately be the most powerful.

My mom has been natural 99% of my life and has always praised and encouraged being natural and I think the exposure to that made the biggest most lasting difference in my perspective.

IA. My mom has always been natural, and she refused to let me and my sisters relax our hair--sent us religiously to the salon for a press--she just really didn't know how to deal with our texture.

BUT I just HAD to have a relaxer so I could look like Salt N Pepa--my mom finally caved in when I was in high school. Of course she was right, but it took years for me to learn on my own.

 

[NikkiGirl]

Depending on where you are this will not be the first nor the last time someone will say this to you. I get this too and the unfortunately when I tell them where I am from it validates their poor thinking. Meanwhile 2 of my Foster Daughters and the 4 type hair and it is all the way down their backs It was not like that when they came to me but with a lot of work and care they have long hair these girls are born and raised African Americans they are from here their parents and their parents are from here.

What is the excuse then.

One of my FD when she was younger telling me about some girl at her school that wanted to FIGHT her because even though my FD is very dark she got long hair so she think she better than errbody else. Boy we have a long way to go keep the word out.

(Sidebar) Has anyone on here ever had someone that wanted to fight you in school because of your hair.??? I thought this was very odd.

I did have people wanting to fight me all the time. But for me it was the opposite. Really light skin with curly hair. My mom would tell me to be proud of who I am. I have a sister who is a type four and she is beautiful and she has never had any problems with her self-esteem because my mom taught us we were beautiful and unique in our own way.

 

[Bene]

(Sidebar) Has anyone on here ever had someone that wanted to fight you in school because of your hair.??? I thought this was very odd.

I had a girl try to fight me because I wouldn't let her play with my hair, does that count?

 

[cocosweet]

I had a girl try to fight me because I wouldn't let her play with my hair, does that count?

I think it does.

In addition to having girls talking smack about me because "She thank she cute cuz she got long hair" I had a teacher mock me because I didn't want her putting her hands all in my hair.

 

[Almaz]

Can we clone you mama baby cause we sure need more mothers out that are like yours

G-d Bless her and you

I did have people wanting to fight me all the time. But for me it was the opposite. Really light skin with curly hair. My mom would tell me to be proud of who I am. I have a sister who is a type four and she is beautiful and she has never had any problems with her self-esteem because my mom taught us we were beautiful and unique in our own way.

 

[elise805]

(Sidebar) Has anyone on here ever had someone that wanted to fight you in school because of your hair.??? I thought this was very odd.

Personally I have never fought anyone at school over my hair. I went to school with all white kids and I'm mixed so...idk

My little 13y/o cousin however has long shiny MBL and she just had to beat some little girl down because on her way home from school, this girl ran up to her and was tugging and pulling on her hair

The girl had short type 4 and my cousin is 3a/b. When my Auntie went in for the meeting at school, the principal even admitted that my cousin and her sister might have problems because of "how they look..."perplexed

 

[sharifeh]

Ms. Lala definitely talk to your students....please!
show them a couple of pictures or something,
When I was younger and I saw a black girl with long hair, I was impressed because it's rare but I never thought she was mixed because of that jeezzzzz

 

[Bene]

I'm about to say something really mean

My little 13y/o cousin however has long shiny MBL and she just had to beat some little girl down because on her way home from school, this girl ran up to her and was tugging and pulling on her hair

From my own experiences, it's always the bald ones who do this

 

[bludaydreamr]

@sharifeh ITA. Show them some pictures, we have to teach them early!

 

[cocosweet]

I'm about to say something really mean





From my own experiences, it's always the bald ones who do this

Well, it's true!

 

[Almaz]

yeah that is how the beef got started she wanted to play in my Child's hair and I told all my girls about letting folks touch all on your hair. There are physical and spritual ramifications of letting random folks in your head.

So this girl wants to up and beat my kid up. Even threaten to cut her hair. I tried to talk to the teacher about it and even the lil girl. I told everyone if she lays a hand on my child I and if you dont' do anything about it and I taught all my girls how to humbug so if you don't do anything about it she will have to take matters into her own hands. She will have to defend herself cause we don't play that. So please don't call me talking bout oh your child was in a fight with this SAME girl we were having problems with cause I warned you. My kids dont' start anything but they WILL finish it. TRUST ME on this

So for the rest of the school year I sent my baby to school with her hair braided up no jewelry and a small jar of vaseline and an extra set of keys to on a huge key chain so she could wear that *** out. My other older kids who were in the same school were like Ma if she wants to fight her she has to fight all of us. My oldest son in his Spiderman underwear talking about its gonna be a rainbow revolution if they lay a hand on her. Its on mama it on.

Months later I go to clean out all their book bags for inspections and they spent a little of their allowance money on small jars of vaseline.

I had a girl try to fight me because I wouldn't let her play with my hair, does that count?

 

[elise805]

I'm about to say something really mean





From my own experiences, it's always the bald ones who do this

Um yeah, I was afraid to go there but the little girl just had a tiny damaged puff of a pony tail...

...She shoulda just tried to be friends with my cousin and get up on her hair knowlegde (she's a member on here)

 

[Stepiphanie]

I used to get asked that all the time back in the day, that and what am I mixed with? Granted I had just came from another country but still I was very confused for a while, what does that have to do with my hair(I was relaxed too)? My type 4 hair would be the same as another type 4 from another country! It's sad.

 

[FroFab]

SMDH at this whole thread. It is just sad to hear that Black American girls have to attribute something beautiful (hair, skin color, etc.) to "another"--meaning ethnicity, country, or what have you.

Then stories of girls getting into fights over being light-skinned or long-haired...I mean damn. WTH is going on that "we" still have these occurrences in 2010. Lord, Lord a great many of us needed to walk through the wilderness for 40 years because "our" minds haven't reached liberty yet.

 

[NikkiGirl]

Almaz, you are too funny. But I am mixed like Elise and I was quiet and got picked on a lot, but my sister had your mentality. She would dare anybody to mess with me and she didn't play.

 

[elise805]

So this girl wants to up and beat my kid up. Even threaten to cut her hair. I tried to talk to the teacher about it and even the lil girl. I told everyone if she lays a hand on my child I and if you dont' do anything about it and I taught all my girls how to humbug so if you don't do anything about it she will have to take matters into her own hands. She will have to defend herself cause we don't play that.

Yea me and my family don't play that ish either... my cousin DID NOT get in any trouble from anyone at home...

 

[LoveLiLi]

Depending on where you are this will not be the first nor the last time someone will say this to you. I get this too and the unfortunately when I tell them where I am from it validates their poor thinking. Meanwhile 2 of my Foster Daughters and the 4 type hair and it is all the way down their backs It was not like that when they came to me but with a lot of work and care they have long hair these girls are born and raised African Americans they are from here their parents and their parents are from here.

What is the excuse then.

One of my FD when she was younger telling me about some girl at her school that wanted to FIGHT her because even though my FD is very dark she got long hair so she think she better than errbody else. Boy we have a long way to go keep the word out.

(Sidebar) Has anyone on here ever had someone that wanted to fight you in school because of your hair.??? I thought this was very odd.

It was quite common when I was in school. I eventually cut my hair and people who despised me the week before suddenly behaved as though we were best friends.

 

[Ms_Twana]

I'm constantly having conversations about "good hair" and black women having long hair, too. I also work in a high school.

 

[Almaz]

I am just wondering how long is it going to take for people to get this evil thought process out of their heads.

If you got long hair you have to be mixed with something
If you are light then you think that you are better. Like you really had a hand in that anyway.
If you try to better yourself then you are trying to be white
When will this mess ever end

 

[lilmsjanet]

does it count if it was the mixed girls that actually tryed to jump me bcause they thought i was mixed and found out i wasnt they were heated ....they had like a group name and everything called"da yella crew" im talking about a full out gang and they went around tryin to start fights with all the fully black girls they could point them out cause non of them had hair longer then earlenght....god im so glad my mom put an end to that