You must be from another country-Look@ your hair.

[Ms Lala]

Thanks for all of the comments and suggestions ladies. Well I guess I do need to address this based on what you ladies are saying. I'm not sure how, maybe I'll do something in our Black History month assembly. Or I was considering starting a girls group, I may just go ahead w/ it.

Unfortunately, we live in an era where young girls' self-image is influenced so heavily by what they see in music videos and the like. Beyonce's hair and whatit represents has become the holy grail for them. Thinking aboutthose girls just makes my so sad inside, it really does. The most I know to do is lead by example and try to lay a solid foundation for for 2 DDs while they're still young.

This is so true. Alot of the girls wear weaves. I'm not anti-weave but when everybody is wearing them all the time, something is wrong. And I know most of them aren't wearing them to grow their hair out.

Ladies, we really have to get the word out.....seriously.

Little girls still growing up with these complexes is ridiculous.

I had complexes about my hair too when I was little mostly because of the taunting I got from other students for being the dreaded type 4.

We have the information, we gotta pay it forward, each one teach one.

Hair is one of the things that make us unique, its so closely tied to self-esteem.

I would definitely talk to those girls.

Let's pay it forward.

This is how I feel about our hair. I wish I could effectively communicate this to them. The little girl who started that conversation had a bad relaxer with a little piece of a ponytail hanging out.

I had a girl try to fight me because I wouldn't let her play with my hair, does that count?

That is freaking crazy. Kids fighting because of somebody's long hair. What is wrong w/us?

 

[HauteHippie]

That's sad. Part of the reason I went natural is because I was thinking about having kids in the next few years and I'm studying to be a teacher. Sometimes just being seen as you are can have a positive effect on young minds. Especially once they realize that you're like them.

 

[anon123]

Lala, did they say they thought you weren't black? Seems like they only said they thought you were from another country. Perhaps they recognize that AAs have not been wearing their hair natural for a while now.

 

[DivaMommy]

That's sad. Part of the reason I went natural is because I was thinking about having kids in the next few years and I'm studying to be a teacher. Sometimes just being seen as you are can have a positive effect on young minds. Especially once they realize that you're like them.

This is so true! I teach middle school, and I don't think many of my black students have experience with a black teacher (over 90% of teachers are white, just learned this recently). I have a couple of girls that watch everything I do: hair, clothes, even how I smell! I so want to teach them about proper hair care and facial care. I don't know how to approach it though. I see a lot of problem skin and damaged hair. Then they want to put it in a high ponytail and can't even catch all the hair for it. It's so sad.

 

[sharifeh]

Please let us know how it goes...

 

[Ms Lala]

Lala, did they say they thought you weren't black? Seems like they only said they thought you were from another country. Perhaps they recognize that AAs have not been wearing their hair natural for a while now.

I don't think they thought I was non-black. I have been asked if I was mixed before but that never if I was from another country. I think it may the combination of my hair being natural and long that threw them off. I didn't think it was that strange to have natural hair though. I wear afrocentric clothing and jewelry too so that may add to the perception.

 

[gymfreak336]

I don't think they thought I was non-black. I have been asked if I was mixed before but that never if I was from another country. I think it may the combination of my hair being natural and long that threw them off. I didn't think it was that strange to have natural hair though. I wear afrocentric clothing and jewelry too so that may add to the perception.

My mother has worn her hair in a short afro since the 70's. People often ask her if she is from another country because of the way she wears her hair. Despite regional differences, seeing natural hair is still a big deal for so many people, especially when it is the kind of hair that isn't deemed as "desirable" as other kinds.erplexed

 

[hair4romheaven]

A girls group will be perfect!!!

 

[Triniwegian]

Ladies, we really have to get the word out.....seriously.

While I completely agree that we need to spread the word.
I might as well talk to my shoe when I am asked about my hair; people do not want to listen, even if they ask.
I have learned not to share if not asked..and when people ask they still say "Oh my hair can't do that" or they simply don't want to put in the effort.

How do you approach it?

 

[gymfreak336]

Ms.Lala...I just went to your fotki and Your hair is beautiful!

 

[Ms Lala]

Ms.Lala...I just went to your fotki and Your hair is beautiful!

Thanks alot. I haven't updated it in a while. I've been stuck at this same length, but I must say I really enjoy being natural.

 

[luvn_life]

I work at a high school and one of the students was talking to me about my hair. She asked me was I mixed because of the texture of my hair. When that I had just cut off 6 inches off of my hair her jaw dropped and she said "are you black????" I just cracked up laughing and said YES... ALL BLACK!!!

I would just say that the kids are brainwashed but they think that way because of adults...

 

[gymfreak336]

I work at a high school and one of the students was talking to me about my hair. She asked me was I mixed because of the texture of my hair. When that I had just cut off 6 inches off of my hair her jaw dropped and she said "are you black????" I just cracked up laughing and said YES... ALL BLACK!!!

Thats funny because I went to class one day after I had just flat ironed my hair really well in anticipation to getting a trim after class. One of my classmates asked me why I was cutting it and I explained that I was evening it up, trying to get rid of the layers that got put in when I got it cut into an inverted bob. She told me that somewhere a black girl was crying erplexed

 

[tonia682]

This is so true! I teach middle school, and I don't think many of my black students have experience with a black teacher (over 90% of teachers are white, just learned this recently). I have a couple of girls that watch everything I do: hair, clothes, even how I smell! I so want to teach them about proper hair care and facial care. I don't know how to approach it though. I see a lot of problem skin and damaged hair. Then they want to put it in a high ponytail and can't even catch all the hair for it. It's so sad.QUOTE]


I teach too and I hate those so called ponytails!!!!

 

[HauteHippie]

I think a girl's group is a really good idea. Hmm...
I've noticed that a lot of the LHCF ladies live in the same area or state. Maybe we could start a group that meets with young girls on a Saturday or something. Anyone near the CT/NY border (or Charleston, SC after May) interested?

 

[FroFab]

Thats funny because I went to class one day after I had just flat ironed my hair really well in anticipation to getting a trim after class. One of my classmates asked me why I was cutting it and I explained that I was evening it up, trying to get rid of the layers that got put in when I got it cut into an inverted bob. She told me that somewhere a black girl was crying erplexed

Oh snap

 

[inspiration150]

Thats funny because I went to class one day after I had just flat ironed my hair really well in anticipation to getting a trim after class. One of my classmates asked me why I was cutting it and I explained that I was evening it up, trying to get rid of the layers that got put in when I got it cut into an inverted bob. She told me that somewhere a black girl was crying erplexed

I heard that said before. Tasha said it in the tv show The Game when melanie "cut" her hair. It really is a wig I heard and she didn't cut it. But it rubbed me the wrong way when she said that.

 

[firecracker]

I guess they don't have or see healthy long hair to make that statement. Oh well nowadays weaves are the norm for the young folks. I work with a few women that wear weaves due to hair loss and have no choice so its understandable. I guess you could try to give them a mini our hair does grow education.

 

[sharifeh]

I think a girl's group is a really good idea. Hmm...
I've noticed that a lot of the LHCF ladies live in the same area or state. Maybe we could start a group that meets with young girls on a Saturday or something. Anyone near the CT/NY border (or Charleston, SC after May) interested?

wow, amazing, I was thinking that too. Like mentoring. But I just don't know how that would work realistically.

 

[southerncitygirl]

I think a girl's group is a really good idea. Hmm...
I've noticed that a lot of the LHCF ladies live in the same area or state. Maybe we could start a group that meets with young girls on a Saturday or something. Anyone near the CT/NY border (or Charleston, SC after May) interested?

i would be interested....pm me i live in upper mahatthan (harlem) i wouldn't be able to always do it every week/month or however its going to be set up.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

While I completely agree that we need to spread the word.
I might as well talk to my shoe when I am asked about my hair; people do not want to listen, even if they ask.
I have learned not to share if not asked..and when people ask they still say "Oh my hair can't do that" or they simply don't want to put in the effort.

How do you approach it?

My approach is to systematically dismantle any myths that someone articulates from the moment they say it. For example:

"How can you wash your hair that often? Wont your hair get dried out?"

Me: Absolutely not, your hair dries out not because you're washing it, but because of what you're washing it with (I would then give them a simple explanation of SLS ALS and why they're detrimental/drying)

"Well you probably have that good hair that can grow like that"

Me: *Whips out a close up picture of my naked coils and smiles while they go like this-->*

^ I think the fact that I'm a tightly coily coarse type 4 is one of the main reasons I'm able to get so many ladies I meet off the street to genuinely believe what I tell them to the point that they tend to whip out pen and pad. There is no way to dismiss my growth and retention as effortless or the result of loose easier to manage curls.

If they're having a specific issue with their hair ie. breakage, dryness etc then I address that directly and give them product recommendations, and basic regimen changes that I think can make a big difference, like I'll say you should stretch your relaxers as much as you can or you should moisturize your fro or keep your natural hair stretched more etc.....

I think people can tell that I've been there, I know what its like, and they can see with their eyes that I know what I'm talking about because the proof is swinging in their face lol

I totally know what you mean about people not being willing to put the work in, that can be really annoying, I always keep it super simple and start them off with the basics when they first start asking me questions, then I let them come to me when they're ready to get more serious about retaining growth.

 

[MissYocairis]

Hey ladies,

I don't post much but had to share this story. I work at a high school and yesterday I had the oddest conversation w/one of my female students.

student- Hi Mrs. X , What country are you from?
Me- hugh? (looking completely confused)
student- Janet said you were from another country and I thought you were too, where are you from?
Me- Chicago (while laughing), what made you think I was from another country?
student-your hair, it's long, (another student chimes in "and it's natural")

I was really shocked. I couldn't believe that these kids think that black women can't grow long hair. I have 4ab type hair and I think they are used to seeing looser texture hair that is long. They were all young black girls and it just saddened me that they would feel this way. I'm not sure how or if I should address it w/them later. I just kind of laughed it off because we were getting ready to start an assembly.

You should give them the website and encourage them to browse/lurk/join. It's time we stopped this cycle and clearly, their mothers are not aware.

 

[lolascurls]

This is a good thread!
When friends saw my hair as a child (it was relaxed longer SL) they said it was weird, so I just kept it in braids (I'm from Nigeria so we all had cornrows daily).
Only when I had fresh rollersets (yes, that's all they did then!), would I get the looks!