I do NOT want another TRIM! (rant)

[LivingDol1]

Okay.... why is it that stylists want to pressure you to trim trim and trim??!

I know my hair is not in perfect condition. It is probably impossible to get all of those splits. I let him cut off 2 INCHES last week. I have to admit, I needed it and I was willing to let go of having BSL hair in order to have healthy APL hair and ends. I trust my stylist. He seems to care about healthy hair. Fine.

Then he told me again today that he wanted to cut off a little more. At my next relaxer touch up, right? No. Now. How much more? Probably another inch or half inch. (which means an inch)

NO!

(besides that "trim" costs another 50 bucks!)

I refuse! If I were to go back and cut my hair again, I think I'd be so upset that I'd just go put my hair in braids again and ignore it b/c I just wouldn't be happy with my hair the way it was. That's how I wound up wearing braids to begin with. I hated my hair and trying to watch it grow!

He then told me that waiting for the next trim wasn't going to help b/c the splits are just going to keep traveling up my hair and i will have thinner strands b/c of splitting. UGH. Seriously, he's got me paranoid about my hair but if I let him cut it, I think I'd have a friggin' heart attack.

He did apologize and said he understood that I wanted to keep my length but that he was also a perfectionist and wants my hair to look good.

I know that several of you in there are anti trim and have nice looking hair. Can someone back me up please??!

 

[Sistaslick]

I'm just trying to figure out why he needed to cut 2 inches a week before you were due for a relaxer? And now need to retrim after the relaxer?

Why didn't he just wait until the touch up-- see where you were-- and then make the decision to trim?

I know the economy is bad, but he sounds like he is milking you for all he can get with those back to back trims. erplexed

 

[Poranges]

So he can slip that extra $10.00 into your bill...

 

[LivingDol1]

I'm just trying to figure out why he needed to cut 2 inches a week before you were due for a relaxer? And now need to retrim after the relaxer?

Why didn't he just wait until the touch up-- see where you were-- and then make the decision to trim?

I know the economy is bad, but he sounds like he is milking you for all he can get with those back to back trims. erplexed

well, the reason there was that he forgot (or they didn't write it in the schedule) that i was due for a relaxer touch up and trim. he started washing my hair and i just wasn't thinking... so i asked him if he could still do the trim despite not doing the touch up. he got my roots really really straight. you couldn't even tell i hadn't had a touch up in 12 weeks. so i thought it was OK for him to give me a trim at that point. normally, i would wait.

 

[The Princess]

Didn't you just get a mega trim, I remember your post from before. WTF..... That don't make any sense.

 

[Nayna]

I think at this point you shouldn't get another trim, I mean, I'm sure your spilts were not halfway up your head already so 2 inches should be way more than enough. Another inch is excessive, 3 inches after a 12 week stretch, hell no, don't get another trim until your next relaxer. You probably wont even need that trim either.

I'm natural, but I got a trim in October, then I got my most recent trim last week and it was only 1 inch, lol. I care for my friend's hair, she's relaxed, I trim her hair 2 times a year, and never more than an inch and a half each time and her hair is sitting pretty and healthy at APL. I just think 3 inches is too much, unless your hair is horrible and judging from your avi pic your hair is nice.

 

[hairdrama:{]

Well, I know exactly what you mean; I have a few inches to cut (not splits but, overprocessed hair) and I’m trying to do it little by little not to loose my length. Unfortunately like he told you he’s a perfectionist so he won’t leave you alone ‘till he cut off a couple more inches. Best advice I can give you, tell him “no”, but then try not to wear your hair down and or use heat so often, (this was the real reason why I became 100% DIYer) now that you got a fresh trim is the time to maintain it. I hid my ends for a full year (with out a trim) for retention. I opted for styles that did not exposed my ends and did a small trim once the year was over. That’s what I did….just my .

 

[guyanesesista]

Girl don't trim. Protect your ends for a while then re-assess. Plus you already said that you won't be happy if you trim now anyway. Sounds also like he wants more money.

 

[Sistaslick]

well, the reason there was that he forgot (or they didn't write it in the schedule) that i was due for a relaxer touch up and trim. he started washing my hair and i just wasn't thinking... so i asked him if he could still do the trim despite not doing the touch up. he got my roots really really straight. you couldn't even tell i hadn't had a touch up in 12 weeks. so i thought it was OK for him to give me a trim at that point. normally, i would wait.

ohhh okay.! I see. I was just like wow this is the scissor happiest man I've ever heard of.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

I agree with the other ladies. Also, have you ever considered trying to trim your own hair?

 

[LushLox]

These stylist seem to forget that the customer is paying them for a service. Some of them carry on like they're doing you a favour with their wisdom when patently they are not. No one should have to feel bullied into agreeing to something they don't want.

 

[LivingDol1]

Well, I know exactly what you mean; I have a few inches to cut (not splits but, overprocessed hair) and I’m trying to do it little by little not to loose my length. Unfortunately like he told you he’s a perfectionist so he won’t leave you alone ‘till he cut off a couple more inches. Best advice I can give you, tell him “no”, but then try not to wear your hair down and or use heat so often, (this was the real reason why I became 100% DIYer) now that you got a fresh trim is the time to maintain it. I hid my ends for a full year (with out a trim) for retention. I opted for styles that did not exposed my ends and did a small trim once the year was over. That’s what I did….just my .

Good advice. I need to come up with a cute protective style that isn't too casual. I wear my hair down 2-3 days out of the week.

I agree with the other ladies. Also, have you ever considered trying to trim your own hair?

I have never tried to cut my own hair! I'm afraid I'd cut it unevenly. I just don't trust myself. Occasionally if I am bored, I will do the "search and destroy" method. My stylist did a good job of trimming it. I just won't go see him as often! Can't trim my hair if I'm not there. Hahaa.

 

[Nayna]

Wait, I just looked at your fotki, don't let him near your head with scissors again, lol.

 

[LivingDol1]

Wait, I just looked at your fotki, don't let him near your head with scissors again, lol.

LOL. Thank you! I know I have some damage. my hair is not perfect but it's not going to vanish over night and I'm not going to keep chopping away at my hair! baby steps...

 

[hillytmj]

Hi there, if your gut instinct is saying no, especially if you already agreed to one trim, ABSOLUTELY DON'T DO IT! If you really like this guy, you're gonna have to train him not to ask you anymore. My stylist only sees me for relaxers now, and she is very scissor happy. After telling her, "no thank you" for more than a year now when she asks if I want a trim, she finally gets the point. Now she even tells me, you're doing a really good job taking care of your hair, and it's getting so long. I want to be ugly and say, "yeah, that's cause I don't let you near me with those scissors!" But my point is, don't let them decide what's best for your hair. You know your hair, and you know how it should look, feel, maintain curl, etc. Don't let his "pressuring" make you doubt yourself and end up unhappy. I've done that too many times in the salon.

I'm a DIYer for weekly maintenance, but I still go to the salon for relaxers and TGF Haircutters for trims. A friend recommended those inexpensive haircutting places because they specialize in precision cuts and cut hair all day long. It's not like many of our stylists who rarely encounter long hair or have had enough practice with trimming and maintaining length. I had my first trim in four months this week, and this was my conversation with the stylist:

*Are you comfortable working with longer, African American hair? Yes
*Okay, I will pay you a big tip if you do exactly what I'm asking you to do:
-I want a trim, not a haircut. I know my ends are not bad because I regularly take care of them, but they are starting to get tangled a bit.
-A trim to me is minor. I've evaluated my own ends and probably don't need more than a 1/4 inch cut in some areas (dusting).
-I don't want to get out of this chair and look like I've had a haircut. My boyfriend should not look at me when I get home and ask, "why did you let them cut your hair!"
-Finally, before you trim anything, show me in the mirror how much you plan to cut.

The lady passed all these tests and did a great job. My ends are cleaner, and I don't feel like I lost anything. (Remember, the whole point of protecting ends is so you don't have to get a major trim). My SO didn't even notice the trim until I mentioned it to him. She also got her $20 tip.

 

[NYAmicas]

These stylist seem to forget that the customer is paying them for a service. Some of them carry on like they're doing you a favour with their wisdom when patently they are not. No one should have to feel bullied into agreeing to something they don't want.

Exactly, the bottomline here is that if you dont want/feel you need a trim then that's what needs to be adhered to. I've had a stylist tell me I needed a trim 2 weeks after another stylist just gave me one-I now do it myself.

 

[hillytmj]

Exactly, the bottomline here is that if you dont want/feel you need a trim then that's what needs to be adhered to. I've had a stylist tell me I needed a trim 2 weeks after another stylist just gave me one-I now do it myself.

See, this is what I'm talking about. I love the way LHCF advocates doing your own hair because the more you work with it, the more you know what it needs. Unfortunately your circumstance has happened to me before (another stylist saying you need a trim when you just got one).

I recently asked my SO why he thought little kids aren't always getting their hair trimmed. He said, "That's cause little kids don't have any money!" LOL!!! He spoke a volume of truth with that one.

 

[msa]

Good advice. I need to come up with a cute protective style that isn't too casual. I wear my hair down 2-3 days out of the week.



I have never tried to cut my own hair! I'm afraid I'd cut it unevenly. I just don't trust myself. Occasionally if I am bored, I will do the "search and destroy" method. My stylist did a good job of trimming it. I just won't go see him as often! Can't trim my hair if I'm not there. Hahaa.

You could do cute pinups and french roll type styles. I always think those are so sophisticated. Check the 52 weeks of protective styles thread, there are a lot of great ideas in there.

Also, since you're ok with search and destroying, just keep doing that to get rid of any splits you see. No reason to trimming just because he says so. Just say no.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

OK.....this is my opinion, well for starters don't get a trim, do a little dusting(IF U NEED IT), but honesty, I went years without trimming my hair, and I don't understand how can your ends split all the way to the hair shaft, that would mean(only my opinion) that you would have to shave your WHOLE head and start over again....that just don't seem right to me, I'm not against trimming, but I feel you shouldn't have to trim as much as they claim unless you want to stay at that length......so don't trim IMO.....I know it's hard and my stylist ask me all the time if I want to trim, and sometimes I say no very politely and sometimes I say yes, but ONLY a little, she knows I'm trying to grow my hair out........so I know those stylists try to do what's best, BUT U need to do what's best for u, it's your hair and your are paying him......

 

[LivingDol1]

See, this is what I'm talking about. I love the way LHCF advocates doing your own hair because the more you work with it, the more you know what it needs. Unfortunately your circumstance has happened to me before (another stylist saying you need a trim when you just got one).

I recently asked my SO why he thought little kids aren't always getting their hair trimmed. He said, "That's cause little kids don't have any money!" LOL!!! He spoke a volume of truth with that one.

haha! i -love- that!! no kidding!

yeah sadly i somehow wound up going to him 3 weeks in a row. wash n set just to see how they were with my hair. then the trim, when i was supposed to get a touch up and now the touch up. i am taking a break! my only intention was to go to him for touch ups and trims. last week he said, "and after your touch up, we need to do some DCing treatments." my stylist is great but NO MORE!

 

[LivingDol1]

OK.....this is my opinion, well for starters don't get a trim, do a little dusting(IF U NEED IT), but honesty, I went years without trimming my hair, and I don't understand how can your ends split all the way to the hair shaft, that would mean(only my opinion) that you would have to shave your WHOLE head and start over again....that just don't seem right to me, I'm not against trimming, but I feel you shouldn't have to trim as much as they claim unless you want to stay at that length......so don't trim IMO.....I know it's hard and my stylist ask me all the time if I want to trim, and sometimes I say no very politely and sometimes I say yes, but ONLY a little, she knows I'm trying to grow my hair out........so I know those stylist try to do what's best, BUT U need to do what's best, it's your hair and your are paying him......

haha. i told him that understood his perfectionism but i didn't want to walk out of the salon in tears with short hair. he did laugh at that one. lol.

i'm not sure i trust him to cut off just a little... i may go to a super cuts one day if i ONLY want a 1/4" - 1/2" cut off... and hope he won't notice. gosh it's like cheating!!

 

[Kurlee]

So he can slip that extra $10.00 into your bill...

actually, that would be 50. I think this is ur cue to become a DIY

 

[LivingDol1]

actually, that would be 50. I think this is ur cue to become a DIY

LOL. a part time DIY.

 

[Solitude]

The last time a stylist told me I need a trim, I figured I might b/c I had been using a lot of heat. Therefore, I said "no thank you," then went home and reviewed this video on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDqE7lroMM4

and dusted 1/4 of an inch off my own hair. After a month of DCing and protective styling, I went back to the salon and another stylist told me that my ends looked great:wink2:

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

The last time a stylist told me I need a trim, I figured I might b/c I had been using a lot of heat. Therefore, I said "no thank you," then went home and reviewed this video on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDqE7lroMM4

and dusted 1/4 of an inch off my own hair. After a month of DCing and protective styling, I went back to the salon and another stylist told me that my ends looked great:wink2:

I dust the same way.....and it really helps those ends........my problem is the heat....so after my relaxer, I'm going to baby my ends like crazy....thanks for the video......

 

[sheba1]

Hi LivingDoll,

After looking at your pics, I don't see how you needed any more than an inch trimmed, to begin with, when he took off two. I definitely would not let him back up into my head for this additional trimming he's proposing.

I think with so many people wearing false hair, it's easy for stylists to forget the love and care that goes into every inch of hair on our heads. It's so easy, too easy, for them to cut an inch or three too much.

I definitely hear the ladies on the protective styling and DCing for a while before getting your next trim. Have you seen this link for the 52 weeks of protective styles thread? Great thread. Lots of chic protective styles that you can dress up or down. Really came at a great time for me because I'm protective styling all the way to BSL.

Good luck to you.

 

[SmartyPants]

I've said it before and I'll say it again... go to Costcutters or SuperCuts and let a white stylist cut your hair. They are seriously afraid that you will jack them up if they cut too much!

My mom went from BSL to above APL in four weeks because her stylist gave her back-to-back trims (she was going for wash and sets every 2 weeks--I am now doing her wash and sets and she is stretching to 8 weeks now). She gave her the second trim WITHOUT her permission.

This same stylist does my relaxers (no way will I ever pay for a wash and set). The last time I went in I wanted a trim (my hair had not been trimmed in 5 months). She was killing herself laughing because I told her (a) I did not want a crew cut and (b) no more than an inch anywhere. She laughed but I didn't have to kick her butt when I got out of the chair!

 

[LivingDol1]

I've said it before and I'll say it again... go to Costcutters or SuperCuts and let a white stylist cut your hair. They are seriously afraid that you will jack them up if they cut too much!

My mom went from BSL to above APL in four weeks because her stylist gave her back-to-back trims (she was going for wash and sets every 2 weeks--I am now doing her wash and sets and she is stretching to 8 weeks now). She gave her the second trim WITHOUT her permission.

This same stylist does my relaxers (no way will I ever pay for a wash and set). The last time I went in I wanted a trim (my hair had not been trimmed in 5 months). She was killing herself laughing because I told her (a) I did not want a crew cut and (b) no more than an inch anywhere. She laughed but I didn't have to kick her butt when I got out of the chair!

that is awesome. i will proly go the super cuts route. or trim myself as needed as per the video a previous poster posted.

 

[LivingDol1]

Hi LivingDoll,

After looking at your pics, I don't see how you needed any more than an inch trimmed, to begin with, when he took off two. I definitely would not let him back up into my head for this additional trimming he's proposing.

I think with so many people wearing false hair, it's easy for stylists to forget the love and care that goes into every inch of hair on our heads. It's so easy, too easy, for them to cut an inch or three too much.

I definitely hear the ladies on the protective styling and DCing for a while before getting your next trim. Have you seen this link for the 52 weeks of protective styles thread? Great thread. Lots of chic protective styles that you can dress up or down. Really came at a great time for me because I'm protective styling all the way to BSL.

Good luck to you.

thanks. yes i am subscribed to the thread. i think i need to add some florals to my hair accessory collection. ;-)

 

[hillytmj]

that is awesome. i will proly go the super cuts route. or trim myself as needed as per the video a previous poster posted.

See, now you've had two people recommend the Supercuts, TGF Haircutters, Costcutters route. The earlier poster is right: those people are afraid to jack you up and will do exactly what you tell them too.

In terms of feeling like you're cheating on your stylist, he will get over it. Especially if you start doing your own haircare between relaxers. He won't be able to refrain from saying positive comments about your growth and progress. If he still badmouths the situation month after month and you still feel uncomfortable, you may need to move on to someone else.