Off topic: sister in law

Luprisi · May 29, 2014

Mi sister in law just had her baby and she just sent my husband a welcome baby x card but addressed it to him only. She didn't forget to add her husband in the card but completely skips me. Am I overreacting? I find that extremely rude specially since we have been married for 7 years.

Country gal · May 29, 2014

I would be offended unless someone else sent it.

GoldenRule · May 29, 2014

Don't be offended. I've sent plenty of things to my sister's house with her name on it (like invitations, etc....) that were meant for the BOTH of them. Unless you two don't get along, I'm sure she didn't intend it as a slight.

BostonMaria · May 29, 2014

GoldenRule said:
Don't be offended. I've sent plenty of things to my sister's house with her name on it (like invitations, etc....) that were meant for the BOTH of them. Unless you two don't get along, I'm sure she didn't intend it as a slight.

Yes, same here

Luprisi · May 29, 2014

It was her hand writing and her husband handed it to my husband. I guess they thought about mailing it but since my husband dropped his parents at their house today, her husband handed it to my husband. I can't help it but i feel offended.

KEWLKAT103 · May 29, 2014

Unless you two have issues, I would not be offended.
She just had a baby and maybe was addressing them quickly or it just didn't cross her mind that it would be offensive.

Luprisi · May 29, 2014

GoldenRule said:
Don't be offended. I've sent plenty of things to my sister's house with her name on it (like invitations, etc....) that were meant for the BOTH of them. Unless you two don't get along, I'm sure she didn't intend it as a slight.

I'm trying to because I don't want to be bitter about it. We have a courteous relationship but we don't call each other and I don't consider her a friend and I think the sentiment is mutual.

Luprisi · May 29, 2014

KEWLKAT103 said:
Unless you two have issues, I would not be offended.
She just had a baby and maybe was addressing them quickly or it just didn't cross her mind that it would be offensive.

I see, the thing is that I know that his family was not perfectly ok with our relationship at first because I'm older than DH and we eloped. So, maybe there are some issues?

ETA we have never discussed any of it before but we treat each other with courtesy

Foxglove · May 29, 2014

Unless it's a habitual thing I wouldn't think anything of it. You guys have been married for 7 years. Is this the first time she's done something like this?

Luprisi · May 29, 2014

Foxglove said:
Unless it's a habitual thing I wouldn't think anything of it. You guys have been married for 7 years. Is this the first time she's done something like this?

Not the first time, she has included my name in other post cards before and has forgotten in others. She never forgets to include her husband though.

FriscoGirl · May 29, 2014

By addressing only your husband (to me she's saying) he is the only "real family" member.

prettybyrd · May 29, 2014

Can you talk to her about it? If she's included you in the past, she could just have made a mistake.

silverbuttons · May 30, 2014

You're making a big deal out of nothing honestly. She addressed it to her brother, your husband. I dont see a problem.

tolly · May 30, 2014

I stopped having issues with the in-laws, when I firmly parked myself in the 'in-law lane'. they are courteous and as long as I don't expect them to treat me like family [because most of them don't!], I realized they are nice people. DH is their family, not me and I've made my peace with that.
I know some families are more accepting, but they don't really matter THAT much.

ms.mimi · May 30, 2014

That's odd. You would think she would make sure to put your name on it because it's usually the woman that responds with a gift. ????
Oh well I would let hubby handle it as he sees fit.

Urban · May 30, 2014

tolly said:
I stopped having issues with the in-laws, when I firmly parked myself in the 'in-law lane'. they are courteous and as long as I don't expect them to treat me like family [because most of them don't!], I realized they are nice people. DH is their family, not me and I've made my peace with that.
I know some families are more accepting, but they don't really matter THAT much.

THIS and THIS!

Whether or not it was intentional, is it worth getting worked up over. It's a freakin' card! You'll still have your hubby, your job, a roof over your heard etc. In situations like this, always remind yourself of what's important and if what someone else does - intentionally or not- is not affecting all those important things, then WHO CARES? This is sort of like that 'why did my roommate open the rent bill' thread we had yesterday.

Surely you have other things in life to worry about than being included on cards. A card you'll probably throw away and won't remember in 2 weeks. Use all that energy for something else.

KIM girl, life's way too short.

bydebra · May 30, 2014

Yeah, I have to agree with Urban. Also, the focus should be on the healthy baby and the recovering mother. She's doing 100 in my book by taking the time to write thank-you cards. That was the last thing on my mind when I had my son...I was grateful for gifts, of course, but a new mother has a lot going on.

Luprisi · May 30, 2014

Thank you all for your words. I feel better already and started focusing on what really matters. I won't dwell on this anymore

naturalmanenyc · May 30, 2014

It reads like an oversight since it's not 100% of the time. If it was true shade, she would always exclude you.

ElegantElephant · May 30, 2014

In reading your thread, I just realized that the invitation I sent to my brother had his name only although it was for my sister in law as well.

Off topic: sister in law

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