Sorry, I don't have a great solution for you, but I can empathize with you. Bee mine makes my sew-in really oily, even with a light hand. so I try to limit it to once every two to three days and I wash just the hair from my sew in ( not my scalp ) the next morning after applying it the night before.
But the upside is that I have gotten great new growth in just 2 weeks after relaxing, which is unheard of for me
I usually just start to see new growth 3 weeks post!