Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mate?

[moonglowdiva]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I think oftentimes in our hast we tend to do things out of the will of God (hence so much divorce). Because the word did say, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Mark 10:9 Now, if the marriage had been joined by God and not man (or woman) manipulating things along the way then nothing could separate the union. But IDK. I do believe that God will join you with the person you are suppose to receive but you (the woman) has to be ready. Just my take on the subject.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

ITA.

I believe this simple truth. God has a unique and specific plan for all of us. If we seek that plan or will, we live according to his will. He will always present his choice for us to us. We have free will to accept or reject. If you're out of his will, you can make the worst mistakes and reject. God is not random. He has a specific plan for your life, including the people that will and will not be in your life and the role they will play. God chooses, presents, and we can accept or reject. Its better to accept.

I think oftentimes in our hast we tend to do things out of the will of God (hence so much divorce). Because the word did say, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Mark 10:9 Now, if the marriage had been joined by God and not man (or woman) manipulating things along the way then nothing could separate the union. But IDK. I do believe that God will join you with the person you are suppose to receive but you (the woman) has to be ready. Just my take on the subject.

 

[kinkicurlyfyne]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

How are you ever supposed to differentiate what God is telling you from WHAT YOU WANT GOD TO SAY? I have been wondering this for a while, especially in this situation.

 

[Caramela]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Both. I think he may put in your life who he'd like to see you with, but you have the free will to marry any Schmuck you like. God warns in the bible not to join yourself with an unbeliever and then gives you advice if you should chose to do so anyway... so that tells me that you have free will. (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

This is one of the most asked questions about God. In my studies, I have found this.

You first start with his Word. Look to his Word for answers to your questions. If you have a more specific question like "Where do I work?", "What school should I go to?", "Or how should I marry?" this REQUIRES an intimate relationship with God. In prayer, you make your request known to him and wait for an answer. God speaks to every one differently. Some of the most common I've heard are:

• Asking him to open or shut opportunities, will lead him to do just that.
• Asking him to speak to you and he does so in a very still, quiet nugging from within
• Certain things come to mind that you've been trying to ignore or disregard
• Consulting a godly, mature person and thinking and praying about what they have said to you and make sure thats a direction you want to take

There are other ways but the most important part of it is knowing the character of God. Thats so essential to knowing when he's talking to you. Thats what makes your relationship with him so special. You can't explain it or quantify it, however...its so real and so special.

How are you ever supposed to differentiate what God is telling you from WHAT YOU WANT GOD TO SAY? I have been wondering this for a while, especially in this situation.

 

[kinkicurlyfyne]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Thank you!!

 

[ChelzBoo]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I believe that god reveals the person but we have the choice to trust him and accept or chose whom we please. Either way, anything under the covenant of marriage you will be held accountable whether its the person god brought you or the one you chose. And if a person marries someone they chose and they are really trying abd keeping god first, god will bless the union reguardless.

I believe that we have free will to chose whomever we want to marry, and I believe that IF you SEEK god he will reveal the man he intends for you to wed.

Be

 

[Kiadodie]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

YOu know this always confuses me. To me, God is ALL knowing. He of course gives us free will on some things, then there are things I think we are destined for that no matter what, we cannot control and it's going to happen.

As for the person we marry, I think we have the free will to choose our mates but then again, I feel sometimes some people are just destined to be together, to fullfill the will of God. So..I dont know really.

I pray to God to bring me the man of my desire. I know though that He will not bring me someone that I will NOT want...I just can't see God bringing a man that He wants for me to marry knowing that I wouldn't choose to be w/ that man erplexed .

 

[moonglowdiva]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

YOu know this always confuses me. To me, God is ALL knowing. He of course gives us free will on some things, then there are things I think we are destined for that no matter what, we cannot control and it's going to happen.

As for the person we marry, I think we have the free will to choose our mates but then again, I feel sometimes some people are just destined to be together, to fullfill the will of God. So..I dont know really.

I pray to God to bring me the man of my desire. I know though that He will not bring me someone that I will NOT want...I just can't see God bringing a man that He wants for me to marry knowing that I wouldn't choose to be w/ that man erplexed .

@ bolded: That literally jumped off the screen at me. Instead of praying that God bring you the man of YOUR desire, why couldn't it be that you pray that God bring you the man that will help you carry out His will. It's just a thought. God can arrange for that man to be your desire.

 

[Kiadodie]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

@ bolded: That literally jumped off the screen at me. Instead of praying that God bring you the man of YOUR desire, why couldn't it be that you pray that God bring you the man that will help you carry out His will. It's just a thought. God can arrange for that man to be your desire.

Wow, thanks..I never thought of it that way. Thank you!! I will pray on it.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I wanted to added this...

This is not to say you can hide out and expect God to bring someone to your door. I believe you have to do your part. Prepare by becoming a virtuous woman, make sure you look your best as much as possible, and meet new people. Put yourself in position, and let God take care of the rest.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I'm starting to wonder if God has any role in "matchmaking" in these times. Things are so different from the way they used to be, I don't know if I believe that God presents most people to their future spouse unless He truly has a divine purpose for that couple. The whole dating scene has me feeling very jaded right now.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

With that said, I believe that God has handpicked a mate for us just as he did for Adam. The problem is that we get in the way of His will. We do things the way we see fit. Oftentimes we pick mates without his consultation. We don't pray about it and we don't ask for His guidance. But God allows us to marry those individuals. For what reason, I don't know. I had a Sunday school teacher that called it God's "permissive will as opposed to God's perfect will."

I said all that to say that yes I think that God has a handpicked, predestined mate for us. But we have to be careful to not operate in our own freewill or else will get off course and God will have to bring us back into alignment with HIS perfect and sovereign will.

In the meantime I'm still trying to figure out what happened in my situation.

What bothers me about this is you're dealing with two individuals with free will. What if the woman decides she doesn't like the man? Or the man decides she doesn't meet his standards? What happens to the person who wasn't chosen by the person God wanted him or her to be with? Is that person destined to remain single or have a bad marriage (because it wasn't the person God intended him/her to marry)? Maybe we should be praying that God gives that person the wisdom to recognize us.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I don't believe in soul mates. However, I believe that there is a person out there that God has for me and only me.

That w/o that person I can't complete what God has destined for me to complete and neither can that person. Maybe should I say not complete what I am destined to complete in the fashion God has called for it to be done. But, as someone stated before..we serve a God of 2nd 3rd and 4th chances.

Now say God-forbid I pass away. My husband can find another person to marry that God has set up for him and only him so that he can continue doing things (the work of the Lord, growing more Christ-like etc) which he couldn't do with out that person.

Now, as God presents these people to us, it's our duty to seek God's face on whether or not this person is THE ONE for that time.

I believe you can LOVE ALOT OF PEOPLE. You can be happy w/ ALOT of people. But, that doesn't mean you should marry any of them.

My grandma use to say you can love who you want, but be careful who you have your babies with. Hahahahaha! She was on to something here...If I think about it in the holiest of ways.

There is someone out there that was called by God before you were a twinkle in your mommas eye to be your husband for this time. Now all of that stands ONLY if you were called to marry in the first place.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

What does soul mate mean?

 

[TrustMeLove]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I also wanted to add that..

I know people who didn't hear the voice of the Lord and married someone they weren't suppose to marry. WHILE IN THE CHURCH. They are currently not doing what they were called to do. They have told me this stuff personally. That God has spoken to them and told them they were outside of His will and not doing what He called for them to do..due to them choosing their own mate. God didn't tell them to divorce...they are still working through their situation.

They say that their spouse is absolutely AMAZING. Kind and loving person. Nothing bad to say about the person. But, they know that this wasn't in God's plan.

 

[ChelzBoo]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

i believe that god importunes if u seek out his will in that area of ur life.

 

[ChelzBoo]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I don't believe in soul mates. However, I believe that there is a person out there that God has for me and only me.

i totally agree. my soul mate is jesus

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Now all of that stands ONLY if you were called to marry in the first place.

Unless God has given someone the gift of celibacy (ie no sexual drive) then we are ALL called to marry. Marriage is not something that is only reserved for some people. Unfortunately, many don't marry or get married in a timely fashion because of out sinful ways. This is a common lie told to Christian singles that not everyone is called to marriage. I digressed

 

[TrustMeLove]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Unless God has given someone the gift of celibacy (ie no sexual drive) then we are ALL called to marry. Marriage is not something that is only reserved for some people. Unfortunately, many don't marry or get married in a timely fashion because of out sinful ways. This is a common lie told to Christian singles that not everyone is called to marriage. I digressed

Huh? You said what I said but in a longer and different way. Not being called to marry.. to me would suggest you were called to be celibate. Not everyone is suppose to get marry or will get married.

Also, I believe marriage is for some people otherwise we wouldn't have folks who are called to be celibate which is also reserved for some people.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Huh? You said what I said but in a longer and different way. Not being called to marry.. to me would suggest you were called to be celibate. Not everyone is suppose to get marry or will get married.

Also, I believe marriage is for some people otherwise we wouldn't have folks who are called to be celibate which is also reserved for some people.

Nope. These two statements are NOT the same thing. Just because someone is single, doesn't mean that person is single by choice or desire. And it certainly doesn't mean they weren't "called" too be married by God. In other words, God has the best intentions for His children which for MOST (95% or more) people equals marriage. But because of disobedience, many suffer the consequences (ie why so many Christian women lament being single). Singleness was never God's will. It's stated very clearly in the Bible that you should only be single if you have no desire to marry and can remain sexually pure. Everyone else should get married. I agree with you that not everyone will get married, but NOT because they weren't suppose to. It's because of sin and the current state of romantic relationships.

Debbie Maken wrote a very good book on the subject (and Bunny 77 started a great thread here in the Christian forum talking about that book.) Most single Christian women have been duped into thinking, they are called to be single even though they want to get married. Does that even make sense? No, what's at work is Satan. Satan has virtually destroyed the family structure in modern times. Paul is very clear about this. Jesus Himself stated in Matthew 19:11-12:

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

If you don't fall into those three categories, you are supposed to be married.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Nope. These two statements are NOT the same thing. Just because someone is single, doesn't mean that person is single by choice or desire. And it certainly doesn't mean they weren't "called" too be married by God. In other words, God has the best intentions for His children which for MOST (95% or more) people equals marriage. But because of disobedience, many suffer the consequences (ie why so many Christian women lament being single). Singleness was never God's will. It's stated very clearly in the Bible that you should only be single if you have no desire to marry and can remain sexually pure. Everyone else should get married. I agree with you that not everyone will. But not because they weren't suppose to. It's because of sin.

Debbie Maken wrote a very good book on the subject (and Bunny 77 started a great thread here in the Christian forum talking about that book.) Most single Christian women have been duped into thinking, they are called to be single even though they want to get married. Does that even make sense? No, what's at work is Satan. Satan has virtually destroyed the family structure in modern times. Again, Paul is very clear about this. Jesus Himself stated in Matthew 19:11-12:

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

If you don't fall into those three categories, you are supposed to be married.

Well, I'm confused ..Because I don't see how we are at odds with what we are saying. But, if you see that than ok.

 

[honeyflaava]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I wanted to added this...

This is not to say you can hide out and expect God to bring someone to your door. I believe you have to do your part. Prepare by becoming a virtuous woman, make sure you look your best as much as possible, and meet new people. Put yourself in position, and let God take care of the rest.

ITA with your post especially the bolded. I am a woman who takes Proverbs 18:22 to heart, "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." I like to place emphasis on the word finds, because I believe that your husband will find you and pursue you. In order for him to find you, like prettyfaceANB said, you must put yourself in position to be found. You do that by placing yourself into the will of God and fulfilling His purpose for your life. When you do that, everything else will fall into place.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Nope. These two statements are NOT the same thing. Just because someone is single, doesn't mean that person is single by choice or desire. And it certainly doesn't mean they weren't "called" too be married by God. In other words, God has the best intentions for His children which for MOST (95% or more) people equals marriage. But because of disobedience, many suffer the consequences (ie why so many Christian women lament being single). Singleness was never God's will. It's stated very clearly in the Bible that you should only be single if you have no desire to marry and can remain sexually pure. Everyone else should get married. I agree with you that not everyone will get married, but NOT because they weren't suppose to. It's because of sin and the current state of romantic relationships.

Debbie Maken wrote a very good book on the subject (and Bunny 77 started a great thread here in the Christian forum talking about that book.) Most single Christian women have been duped into thinking, they are called to be single even though they want to get married. Does that even make sense? No, what's at work is Satan. Satan has virtually destroyed the family structure in modern times. Paul is very clear about this. Jesus Himself stated in Matthew 19:11-12:

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

If you don't fall into those three categories, you are supposed to be married.

Hey, thanks for the shoutout!

Although this topic is about singleness/marriage, I do think that the thinking on this topic in Christian circles is similar to the general debate of free will versus predestination.

I find that in general, if we happen to be in a certain place in life, many of us will say, "Well, this must be God's will because I wouldn't be in this situation." But I think that type of thinking can be dangerous, because it doesn't allow for us to truly examine WHY those situations might exist. Is it a result of choices we made? Is it a result of us living in a sinful culture? Is this what God truly wants for us, or are we actually blocking His will through our actions or the actions of others.

If one is currently single, it shouldn't automatically be believe that singleness is God's will or God's current plan for that person. Unless that person was specifically told by God that he/she is to be single (for now, or permanently), then no human can make the judgment that singleness is God's will and that this person is where she's supposed to be right now.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Hey, thanks for the shoutout!

Although this topic is about singleness/marriage, I do think that the thinking on this topic in Christian circles is similar to the general debate of free will versus predestination.

I find that in general, if we happen to be in a certain place in life, many of us will say, "Well, this must be God's will because I wouldn't be in this situation." But I think that type of thinking can be dangerous, because it doesn't allow for us to truly examine WHY those situations might exist. Is it a result of choices we made? Is it a result of us living in a sinful culture? Is this what God truly wants for us, or are we actually blocking His will through our actions or the actions of others.

If one is currently single, it shouldn't automatically be believe that singleness is God's will or God's current plan for that person. Unless that person was specifically told by God that he/she is to be single (for now, or permanently), then no human can make the judgment that singleness is God's will and that this person is where she's supposed to be right now.

That is what I was trying to say.

 

[aribell]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

I think that we should seek God's will in all things, but if "seeking God's will" ends up being looking for a sign, for a "word," or for a feeling, that opens us up to confusion and to mistaking God's voice for our own strong feelings. The person that God wants you to marry is the person with whom you will fulfill the biblical picture of Christ loving the Church and with whom your spiritual gifts will bear much fruit, and with whom your love of Him and others increases. He's already told us what His will is in this area, we just have to chose someone who is in line with that. If He wants us to do something different or look at a particular person, He will definitely make that clear of His own accord without us having to be confused and seek after it.

I think in seeking God's will, the default mode should be to seek wisdom and righteousness and the principles laid out in the Bible, and then ask the Lord if there is something more for you to know, or some more specific path for you to walk that He would make that clear. Otherwise, I believe He will bless whatever your choice is, so long as it is in line with His principles and done to His glory.

 

[aribell]

Re: Do You Think God Importunes Us to Marry Someone or Do you think we choose our mat

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

If you don't fall into those three categories, you are supposed to be married.

I'm familiar with Maken's book and appreciate her and other believers' efforts to bring more sensibility to Christians' thinking about marriage. But, IDK, I'm not sure I believe that anyone in particular is "supposed" to be married. Jesus said that some have "renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven," people like Paul. But God didn't make Paul make that decision, he made it himself. I believe marriage is a choice that every believer can choose to pursue or not to pursue.

I also think that marriage is just as much a societal institution as a religious one, and that Jesus' inauguration of the Kingdom of God broke the hold of all societal institutions and gives us freedom to choose to live in light of that Kingdom (and remain celibate). I'm not trying to imply that Jesus implied that marriage was no longer God-ordained, just that I'm not sure that God's will for the social institution of marriage is the same for the New Israel as for the Old.

I'm not even sure what difference the distinction ultimately makes, other than that I don't know that it is God's will necessarily that people marry. If people will serve Him better as a married person than not, then He would probably have them married. But more than anything, I think people get married and seek marriage because that's what they want, and we should own those decisions as ours.