HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

[deborah11]

i have been so depressed the last few days that i haven't even had the energy to post or come to the board. I have posted before regarding my problems in previously using a no lye relaxer, it did not straightedn my hair and while i had switched over to a lye relaxer- design essentials, my air still didn't get straight . it was thick and i would flatiron it to blend the textures since roots were straight. THIS IS MY PROBLEM: this past week i got a retouch and the beautician applied it to all of my hair in an effort to straightened out the previously no lye relaxed hair. it did not work. My hair is now overprocessed, thinned out and stringy and broken off in places. I am so depressed. you would not believe the tears that i have shade. i just feel like giving up. is there anyting that will help with overprocessed hair. i am going to get it cut this week. there is enuf that i can probabl get it cut in a short bob or i can trim the ends and wear it up to camoflough the damage temporarily. mabe it just not for me to have nice hair anymore. maybe i should just shave it all off and start over again. i have had such beautiful hair in the past and these last few months have been hair hell. i have never had a hair cut down to my scape b4 and i am terrified. sometimes, i just think that there is no other way. also i don't want any of the other underprocessed women on this board to go thru this experience./ PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE APPLY RELAXER TO ANYTHING EXCEPT YOUR NEW GROWTH. Please pray for my strenght. I am in one of the darkest periods of
my life and . i feel so ugly and depressed.

 

[daviine]

Deborah--I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know that when my hair doesn't look good..I also feel ugly. I know that that shouldn't be the case but that's just how I feel. So I want you to know that I definitely can relate but please try to remember that it's whats inside that counts.

Now let's see what we can do about your hair......

You say that your hair is broken off in places....are your ends split? Becasue if they are you definitely have no choice but to cut them off.

AT any rate, I have never used this product but I have heard many great things about Aphogee Treatment.I thnk before I cut anything off, I would do a major treatment such as the one I mentioned followed by a deep moisturizing conditioning. Then, you should try to assess the damage. Only then, would I attempt to cut my hair.

From now on, hot oil treatmnets and deep conditionings should be a must. I don't really have any recommendations per se but I'm sure others can help you if you need a recommendation.

That's about the extent of my expertise...so I hope that I was helpful.

Here's a smile for you.... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Pumpkin]

First off I understand what it means to go through those dark and depressed periods. I have been in since I was 13. Hair is a woman's crown and glory and when it dosen't look right it can be pure hell.

This is a temporary setback in your hair growth process. We have all had setbacks, but remember it takes mistakes to make progress. Now you know NEVER to let anyone relax your entire head. ALso you may want to consider finding a new stylist. Many of the women on the boards live in MD so you should page them and get referrals.

The best thing to do is cut off the damaged part. This way you can start off fresh. By Aphogee conditioner and follow the directions carefully. This stuff STINKS but it does a lot to restore strength to the hair. Follow up with a moisturizing conditiner (I use the Elucence one). Keep you hair moisturized and wash at least twice a week. Take your vitamins and/or eat healthy. Drink plenty of water.

I know how it is to feel unpretty. That is the story of my life. But I know that everyday is a struggle and I will be repaid. If you need to vent I am here. It is okay to throw a fit just don't throw in the towel.

 

[deborah11]

thanks davine and pumpkin for your responds. actually my hair appears ro be more thin and limp than split. my hair has always been thick and heavy but now the texture is very different. at the top there is still some good hair (about 8 inches, no splits) that is thick even though it is very limp, like the elasticity has been steched out to its limits and has collapsed under the pressure, so to speak. it appears that the most substantial damage is in the in the back and mid- section and across the sides from ear to ear. there are a couple of areas there that are broken and will definitely need to be cut, but again , the larger problem seems to be the thiness and limpness of the hair. there is also one area in the back that is totally broken off which is not visible because it is hidden underneath some other hair. i am deep conditioning it now and will be in a better position to know how much will have to be cut. i guess i am just wondering, am i delaying the inevitable. if it is going to have to be all cut off might as well get it over with. i rally don't want to .do this . i think i am just rambling now, i am sorry. i am too despondent to think clearly right now. thank u guys for all your help.

 

[adrienne0914]

deborah, i'm really sorry to hear about the mishap with your hair. and i know you'd probably like to reach through the computer and smack me when i say "it will grow back"... but it really will!

i would do like daviine said and do the protein treatments for a while and just wait to do a big chop. it's like even if you do wait for a few, it won't get any worse since you don't have split ends. however, once it's gone, it's gone. there's no going back on that. so i just don't like doing something like that when i'm down. ya know?

i'm also thinking about that spot that the longer hair is covering up. once you chop alot of the 8" off, that will show. pamper it for a while and see what happens. even if you are delaying the inevitable... that's okay because it's not hurting anyone.

keep us posted!!

adrienne

 

[pebbles]

deborah11,

I am so sorry to hear about the mishap with your hair. But as the others said, do the protein treatments. I had a lot of damage a couple of years back and my hairdresser did protein treatments once a month for about 6 months, which worked out to one every 4-5 weeks. I put my previously curly permed hair into braids and didn't think about moisturizing my hair much. When I took the braids out, my hair was coming off all over the place!! I did cut half of it off, but the treatments helped me to cut the rest off gradually instead of all at once. You definately cannot let anyone apply a relaxer to previously relaxed hair. I am really sorry this happened to you. /images/graemlins/frown.gif But hey, live and learn. Sister take it from me, it will grow back. Cheer up. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Lucia]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but everyday is new with no mistakes. So you will recover with time, patience, and good hair tips that you will definately get here. I've had damgaed relaxed hair before going back to natural and I can say that it will come back just do the protein treatments, and try deep condtioning with cholesterol, just get trimms every 4-6 weeks until your hair gets healthier then do mainteneance trimms. You may not see length but health is most important right now then length will come on it's own.

 

[sweetcocoa]

Bumpin' for Dionne... Deborah, when my hair was overprocessed I didn't cut it all off at one time. I cut 4 inches( which helped tremendously) the first time and then 1 inch every month until I got it all.

 

[Honey Vibe]

Deborah, I once had hair so over-processed I had a big gaping bald spot right on the back of my head. The rest of it was just as you've described; crackling, thin hair that broke off if you touched it.

It's the winter season, which gives you a good reason to keep your hair under fashion accessories such as scarves and hats. Keep your hair moisturized to keep elasticity, STAY AWAY FROM HEAT, and start taking vitamins that will ensure your hair grows out quickly and healthily.

By March, this will all be but a happy memory! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Kiadodie]

Deborah:
I'm so sorry about your hair and how you feel.
I know how you feel. This past 4 or so years my hair had changed dramatically and i recently found out it was the medication I was taking. Well, I stopped the medication a month ago. I'm hoping my hair will recover and grow back. Literally half my hair is gone. I had such thick nice hair now it's thin, so I know how you feel.
My recommendation is to start with the Aphogee treatments (like others suggested). This should tremendously strengthen your hair over time. Also get the damaged part cut/trimmed off. Trust me this feeling is temporary. I'm sure everyone on this board has had that "unpretty" feeling now and then...I know I have. Just know your not alone in this....

 

[henrilou]

Deborah, I hope you are feeling the love. I was reading everyones' advice and it seems what the main thing is: We have all been there. There WILL be a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang on to us and we'll pull you to it. When it hurt my eyes and my soul to look at my hair 4 years ago. I weaved. I just couldn't look at it. The stylist had just wrecked me. I mean I really couldn't face it. I am sorry but I think alot of women (esp. "us") have our esteem wrapped up in our hair.... But can you maybe braid or weave until you get your strength back up? Those are good styles for hard times... <<<<big hug>>>>

 

[Kitkat]

Deborah, I'm SO SORRY to hear about the problems that you're having right now. Everyone who has posted has given really good advice - Aphogee, hot oil treatments, gradually trimming the split ends, even braiding. I have nothing new to add, because I would suggest much of what's been suggested already. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and we're there for you. . Please let us know what you ultimately do, and I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

 

[Mahalialee4]

I agree with the protein and hot oil treatments that the ladies recommended. I would not rush to cut. If there is shedding, take care of that first. If there is breakage, conceal it and wrap the hair up until you have done an extensive series of protein and moisturizing treatments. Then when you have had a chance to catch your breath and see what is actually happening to your hair, reevaluate: > 1. Shedding stopped 2. >Got broken ends to deal with...how much and where...because these will grow in and catch up faster than you realize as long as the strand will stay in the follicle. Moisturize, moisturize and handle hair very gently. The fats in the oils can do a lot to rethicken the hair. Extra Virgin olive oil and plastic bag overnight---a blessing. Been there. I did not do a chop. I only trimmed the areas where there was extreme breakage and totally fried ends that absolutely nothing could save.Yes, I looked pickedy headed for a while, but I covered it well, and none of my friends knew a thing. Another lady who avoided a radical chop when she suffered if I remmber correctly, 2/3 of her hair being jacked up. Please post a page to her at this site. (KathylynWoolocks)...She has hair going to her waist, and avoided losing it. I have hair going past my bra strap now, I am so glad I did not do anything like chopping all my hair off. It looked unsaveable! Today, you would never look at my hair and believe what it started with. The most important thing I want to say to you is that, we sometimes concentrate so hard on the perfect looking hair, all the time, even ends, specific thickness and color etc. which there is nothing wrong with. But when any other part of our body suffers, we bear with it and nurse it back to health if at all possible.Amputation is a big step! But with our hair, we want to do radical surgery without doing everything we can to rebuild it and save it. Let chopping be your last choice, because once it's gone, it's gone and you will have years to wonder if you did everything you could to save the length. Yes, it will grow back, but if you can do it in one year instead of four or five, won't you feel better. You give yourself a couple of months before you do anything radical. use hair wrapping. scarves. wigs. whatever it takes. (put your hair in hair hospital and in intensive care).What have you got to lose? Do not forget to post KathylynWoolocks. She could really give you some encouraging advice. She had some hair that was 3" and some heading for waistlength, a variety of lengths. She was not prepared to sacrifice all those years, and it payed off big time!!!Her hair is filling in beautifully and thickness all coming back. Hope this could work for you. And my heart goes out to you in your pain. Sorry for being so long winded. Bonjour.

 

[TBC72]

Ah Deborah, I feel your pain. Gurl when I read your post , It made me want to cry. /images/graemlins/frown.gif I've been there and done it. I wouldn't cut it either. Use some of the suggestions the ladies here have post. Don't give up Deborah. It will grow back . Sooner than you think. Keep us posted . Sending you a cyber hug....