How would you explain hair care without mentioning hair boards?

[katie]

My friend and I were in class yesterday.She was commenting on how much my hair had grown(I had ear length hair summer 2003) She was like"It's too bad my hair could never grow like that".I asked her to explain and she said her hair breaks a lot.She gets handfuls of hair everytime she combs.

Of course I know for a fact that her hair really can grow.The longest my hair had ever been my whole life was neck length pre-hair boards so if my hair could grow past neck length,anyone's can.
I really wanted to tell her about hair boards but my family thought I was obsessed when I told them about hair boards so I'm not telling anyone else.I really don't know where to begin to help her get her hair on the right track while at the same time not sounding obsessive(which I am!,lol)
Is it weird to ask someone their regimen?Or is that just board-speak?
Any suggestions would be appreciated!

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

My friend and I were in class yesterday.She was commenting on how much my hair had grown(I had ear length hair summer 2003) She was like"It's too bad my hair could never grow like that".I asked her to explain and she said her hair breaks a lot.She gets handfuls of hair everytime she combs.

Of course I know for a fact that her hair really can grow.The longest my hair had ever been my whole life was neck length pre-hair boards so if my hair could grow past neck length,anyone's can.
I really wanted to tell her about hair boards but my family thought I was obsessed when I told them about hair boards so I'm not telling anyone else.I really don't know where to begin to help her get her hair on the right track while at the same time not sounding obsessive(which I am!,lol)
Is it weird to ask someone their regimen?Or is that just board-speak?
Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Since you said she is a friend does she know about your obsession

Since she completmented you on your growth and her lack there-of you could open the conversation up with..."I know you may not think you can obtain more growth but I used to think the same thing and this is what I did..." You could just break down what steps you took..try not to scare her w/too much info at once . You could mention you got tips from LHCF and it helped you, and offer her the email address. She could use it or not.

One of my closest friends would not care to do what I do. She goes to her hairdresser weekly but her hair is breaking really bad. I try to give her tips like relaxing only new growth and deep conditioning, but she does her own thing...I have other people that compliment me on my hair growth and I tell them some things (vitamins etc)...if they inquire more then I tell them more.

Good Luck

 

[myco]

I usually mention what works for me if the person is interested. If the person has a particular question, I try to answer that question without giving them so much information that they become overwhelmed like Katie said. Once the person finds that your tips work for them and you don't mind sharing, they'll start to ask you more questions over time. I had a friend ask me to come up with a complete regimen for her. I knew that she wouldn't spend the time or money that I would, so i gave a her a simplified regimen that fit her budget and her interests. Also if the person lets you get your hands in their hair, point out the the positives about their hair. That goes a long way towards changing their mindsets about black hair in general and empowering them to take care of their hair. There is no such thing as bad hair, just bad haircare.

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

This is a good thread. Have you ever worried that if you told people everything that you do they would think that you are obsessed?

 

[katie]

Since you said she is a friend does she know about your obsession

Since she completmented you on your growth and her lack there-of you could open the conversation up with..."I know you may not think you can obtain more growth but I used to think the same thing and this is what I did..." You could just break down what steps you took..try not to scare her w/too much info at once . You could mention you got tips from LHCF and it helped you, and offer her the email address. She could use it or not.

One of my closest friends would not care to do what I do. She goes to her hairdresser weekly but her hair is breaking really bad. I try to give her tips like relaxing only new growth and deep conditioning, but she does her own thing...I have other people that compliment me on my hair growth and I tell them some things (vitamins etc)...if they inquire more then I tell them more.

Good Luck

Thanks for the suggestions!
She doesn't know about my obsession,lol.I think I will tell her the basics starting with no heat.That is the main thing that keeps my hair from breaking.I think I'll tell her to deep condition once a week and maybe suggest a conditioner ONLY if she asks.That doesn't sound like too much,right.I just really really don't want to sound obsessive.

 

[Chinagem]

Don't forget about protective styling and constant moisturizing.

 

[jasmin]

She tell her what has worked for you but don't mention where you get your info from.

 

[sillygurl18]

Or you can say for instance if you do CO washes and they work for you and you think she'd benefit.

" I got tired of my being dry after shampooing, so one day I just used conditioner and it seemed to get my hair clean without drying it out."

or with the heat
"My hair just sprouted after I stopped using heat so much now I only use heat when....."

or with overlapping the perm.

"I stopped overlapping my perm because it caused nothing but breakage for me you should give it a try."

Then you won't have to mention the hair boards.

 

[Wildflower]

I AM obcessed and LOVE it!!!! I'll tell anyone that's willing to hear about this wonderful place.

 

[so1913]

When people ask me how I know so much about hair, I usually don't get into detail, just tell them I do "self study" and do a lot research on the net.

 

[RabiaElaine]

My friend and I were in class yesterday.She was commenting on how much my hair had grown(I had ear length hair summer 2003) She was like"It's too bad my hair could never grow like that".I asked her to explain and she said her hair breaks a lot.She gets handfuls of hair everytime she combs.

Of course I know for a fact that her hair really can grow.The longest my hair had ever been my whole life was neck length pre-hair boards so if my hair could grow past neck length,anyone's can.
I really wanted to tell her about hair boards but my family thought I was obsessed when I told them about hair boards so I'm not telling anyone else.I really don't know where to begin to help her get her hair on the right track while at the same time not sounding obsessive(which I am!,lol)
Is it weird to ask someone their regimen?Or is that just board-speak?
Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Wow Katie,

I didn't know that your hair never grew past neck length...I'm adding you to my list of inspirations. Anyway I think you are a great testimony and will not sound obsessed if you tell her. Especially if she's unhappy with the state of her hair. You can tell her that you were unhappy about the state of your hair and thought it would never improve and now that you've found LHCF your hair has improved dramatically because of the tips that you have learned from this board. I personally wish I had stuck with the board when I joined in 2003, I probably would be where you are today. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to catch up . Hey if she doesn't want to hear about it when you mention it to her, it's her loss and if she does, you will have changed her life!!!!

I've mentioned this board to other women I know, some think I'm crazy ( I don't care!!!) and others are interested in learning more. My motto : "Some will, some won't, so what!"

Now my hair is not long (YET!!!!!!!!!!!) but it sure is healthy, when I see some women on my way to work in the morning or when I'm out and about, I just want to stop and hand them a card with LHCF's website on it. I mean we are sooooooooo misinformed about our hair and about what it can't do. And it's sad that the majority of us out there think that this is just the way hair with our texture is. This simply is not true and every woman on this board long or short is a testament to that fact!!!! I really wish more people knew about this board. It's changing my life everyday, because everyday my hair gets a little healthier!!! (Ok I'm done preaching )

 

[mochamadness]

My friend and I were in class yesterday.She was commenting on how much my hair had grown(I had ear length hair summer 2003) She was like"It's too bad my hair could never grow like that".I asked her to explain and she said her hair breaks a lot.She gets handfuls of hair everytime she combs.

Of course I know for a fact that her hair really can grow.The longest my hair had ever been my whole life was neck length pre-hair boards so if my hair could grow past neck length,anyone's can.
I really wanted to tell her about hair boards but my family thought I was obsessed when I told them about hair boards so I'm not telling anyone else.I really don't know where to begin to help her get her hair on the right track while at the same time not sounding obsessive(which I am!,lol)
Is it weird to ask someone their regimen?Or is that just board-speak?
Any suggestions would be appreciated!

If your friend is straight out asking for advice, I don't think it would be weird to ask what her regimen is. Maybe you can help her make some adjustments to her regimen once you know what she is missing or doing wrong. With all of the knowledge that you receive from this board, I'm sure you can definitely give her advice without mentioning this site.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

Another option is to tell her you will email her your regime if she is interested then you could put in the link to LHCF (if you want to) and mention she can get more tips from here. You could make her a 1-10 list of your regime and a short list of products you like.

I find sometimes if I start to tell people about regimines or products they hear me but don't really hear me...if that makes sense. There is so much to tell sometimes I feel like I am rambling....and unless they really want to know they tune me out...

 

[katie]

Or you can say for instance if you do CO washes and they work for you and you think she'd benefit.

" I got tired of my being dry after shampooing, so one day I just used conditioner and it seemed to get my hair clean without drying it out."

or with the heat
"My hair just sprouted after I stopped using heat so much now I only use heat when....."

or with overlapping the perm.

"I stopped overlapping my perm because it caused nothing but breakage for me you should give it a try."

Then you won't have to mention the hair boards.

Oooh! I love all these suggestions!Thanks so much!

 

[katie]

Wow Katie,

I didn't know that your hair never grew past neck length...I'm adding you to my list of inspirations. Anyway I think you are a great testimony and will not sound obsessed if you tell her. Especially if she's unhappy with the state of her hair. You can tell her that you were unhappy about the state of your hair and thought it would never improve and now that you've found LHCF your hair has improved dramatically because of the tips that you have learned from this board. I personally wish I had stuck with the board when I joined in 2003, I probably would be where you are today. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to catch up . Hey if she doesn't want to hear about it when you mention it to her, it's her loss and if she does, you will have changed her life!!!!

I've mentioned this board to other women I know, some think I'm crazy ( I don't care!!!) and others are interested in learning more. My motto : "Some will, some won't, so what!"

Now my hair is not long (YET!!!!!!!!!!!) but it sure is healthy, when I see some women on my way to work in the morning or when I'm out and about, I just want to stop and hand them a card with LHCF's website on it. I mean we are sooooooooo misinformed about our hair and about what it can't do. And it's sad that the majority of us out there think that this is just the way hair with our texture is. This simply is not true and every woman on this board long or short is a testament to that fact!!!! I really wish more people knew about this board. It's changing my life everyday, because everyday my hair gets a little healthier!!! (Ok I'm done preaching )

Thanks for the huge compliment RabiaElaine!
It really is sad that many black women can't take care of their hair.She looked quite sad while talking about her breakage.And I really wanted to give her the site of a hairboard.I think I will give her the site of one that really helped me when I first started trying to grow my hair.It doesn't have tons and tons of info so it can't overwhelm a newcomer.

 

[katie]

Thanks for all the tips everyone!I see her tomorrow for class and I make use of what has been recommended here.

 

[Enchantmt]

Actually if shes noticed your progress and seeking help I think she would welcome information on our board. If the situation were reversed I know I would. Maybe give her a gift subscription. You can tell a difference in how receptive folx will be, if she is commenting on your hair but resistant to your suggestions, or catty about it, shes not ready. If she is asking for advice and actually trying to do what you suggest or is willing to purchase products, shes probably ready. I would give her info , email her some of the fabulous hair albums, and offer the subscription if shes really interested. I joined after I read the first few posts after clicking the link. There is a lot of info here, but you can guide her and keep her PJism in check by letting her know the basics and that she doesnt have to try everything.

 

[Champagne_Wishes]

Just tell her the methods that you have been using and recommend some products and leave it at that.

 

[Jewell]

Site your info/advice as being from hair books/hair magazines. I find many hair magazines (esp Sophisticate's Black Hair) to have somewhat helpful info. I have the book Brown Skin by Susan L. Taylor that has hair tips among other things in it, and Shamboosie's Beautiful Black Hair . Many people read them, so this wouldn't be unbelievable. You would of course run into a wall if she asked to borrow the books/magazines and you don't have them!

 

[Champagne_Wishes]

Site your info/advice as being from hair books/hair magazines. I find many hair magazines (esp Sophisticate's Black Hair) to have somewhat helpful info. I have the book Brown Skin by Susan L. Taylor that has hair tips among other things in it, and Shamboosie's Beautiful Black Hair . Many people read them, so this wouldn't be unbelievable. You would of course run into a wall if she asked to borrow the books/magazines and you don't have them!

Maybe the local library carries them.

 

[Jewell]

True...I'm donating my hair magazines from like 2000-2002 to the library.

 

[katie]

Hey everyone who responded!
Just wanted to do an update on my friend.
She happened to drop by today while I was deep conditioning with my heat cap.She asked me how often I deep condition and I told her once a week. And showed her what shampoo and condit I like to use.
She was like"I don't know if my hair could grow.I have some reall bad hair that I got from my mom's side."
I was like"Neither my mom's nor dad's side has much hair.But deep conditioning once a week has really helped my hair."
She also saw my GNC HSN bottle on my countretop and asked about it.So I told her about them and she said she may buy some.

So all in all I was able to get across to her that she should deep condition regularly and I mentioned no heat briefly and she said it is worth a try.And I didn't sound obsessive at all,lol.It just flowed naturally.She's in braids now,but is taking them out soon but she said she will start deep conditioning when it's out.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

Hey everyone who responded!
Just wanted to do an update on my friend.
She happened to drop by today while I was deep conditioning with my heat cap.She asked me how often I deep condition and I told her once a week. And showed her what shampoo and condit I like to use.
She was like"I don't know if my hair could grow.I have some reall bad hair that I got from my mom's side."
I was like"Neither my mom's nor dad's side has much hair.But deep conditioning once a week has really helped my hair."
She also saw my GNC HSN bottle on my countretop and asked about it.So I told her about them and she said she may buy some.

So all in all I was able to get across to her that she should deep condition regularly and I mentioned no heat briefly and she said it is worth a try.And I didn't sound obsessive at all,lol.It just flowed naturally.She's in braids now,but is taking them out soon but she said she will start deep conditioning when it's out.

Hi Katie, SVT posted an article that sums up everything in one article. I think it would be perfect to give to friends and family...have you looked at it? Maybe you could print it for your friend.

The post: An old Essence article from 1995. I plan to print or email it to a few of my family members and friends who I think can benefit from it.