I see myself as bald-headed.

[brownhaired_bonanza]

@ Irresistible Thanks for that.

 

[Mariaat40]

Irresistable, I don't think there are any good guys or bad guys here. We just perceive what she said differently. I, too, compare my hair to other black women's hair. But that doesn't mean I compare in a negative way. It's just an observation, not a judgment. If there is any judgement involved its usually, "Wow, I would love to pull her aside and talk to her about hair care." So it's an issue of concern. Or, "Wow, she's got beautiful hair." I personally see very few African American women in my community with hair as long as mine. Does that make me feel superior or does that divide me from my sisters. Absolutely not. I'm more than willing to share hair care tips if I'm asked.

 

[Irresistible]

Just to further reiterate how silly all this is to me
http://journals.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/Poem/

Yeah the division is ugly, ugly, ugly

http://journals.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/TheWomanBeyondTheHair/
This is my own little personal story

what is it estrogen that makes us do this? I mean dayum, men aint walkin around worrying about anotha dudes hair type or length, its ridiculous to do this to ourselves , ova some damn hair

Yeah the person that posted about chemo patients, well I was in a hematologists office sitting next to them, after my hair was done coming out and I was crying crocodile tears over it. I saw them gettin their chemo treatments by IV, and yes that shut me up, so what If I lost half my hair...I still had hair!!!

I'm out this thread, all I'm gonna say is alot of people gotta wake up before they are possilby personally given a wake up call

Peace out people, love your hair and dont compare it to anyone else's ever!!!!!!! not to feel superior , not to feel inferior, not for any reason.

thats all I gotta say! and hope this lesson isnt learned the hard way for some. I been hated on for all types of reasons that dont make sense to me. "nappier than thou's" etc. and let me tell you if one of them that actually took the time and energy to hate on me over hair type or what I do with my hair or some other BS, was layin on the side of the road, dyin..I would still stop and give them my breath if needed to save their life....what our hair looked like wouldnt matter then at that moment now would it?

anyway, sorry this kinda stuff just disturbs my soul, really.

I'm out for real this time, may you all find a way to love your hair and embrace it without the need for comparison in any way shape or form.

 

[Jewell]

Yes, the TRUTH is that MOST black women do not have long hair. Ahemm. {clears throat} I am just very thankful for what I have been blessed with. No complaints here. It could be worse, California... :creatures

 

[Jewell]

Just to further reiterate how silly all this is to me
http://journals.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/Poem/

Yeah the division is ugly, ugly, ugly

http://journals.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/TheWomanBeyondTheHair/
This is my own little personal story

what is it estrogen that makes us do this? I mean dayum, men aint walkin around worrying about anotha dudes hair type or length, its ridiculous to do this to ourselves , ova some damn hair

Yeah the person that posted about chemo patients, well I was in a hematologists office sitting next to them, after my hair was done coming out and I was crying crocodile tears over it. I saw them gettin their chemo treatments by IV, and yes that shut me up, so what If I lost half my hair...I still had hair!!!

I'm out this thread, all I'm gonna say is alot of people gotta wake up before they are possilby personally given a wake up call

Peace out people, love your hair and dont compare it to anyone else's ever!!!!!!! not to feel superior , not to feel inferior, not for any reason.

thats all I gotta say! and hope this lesson isnt learned the hard way for some. I been hated on for all types of reasons that dont make sense to me. "nappier than thou's" etc. and let me tell you if one of them that actually took the time and energy to hate on me over hair type or what I do with my hair or some other BS, was layin on the side of the road, dyin..I would still stop and give them my breath if needed to save their life....what our hair looked like wouldnt matter then at that moment now would it?

anyway, sorry this kinda stuff just disturbs my soul, really.

I'm out for real this time, may you all find a way to love your hair and embrace it without the need for comparison in any way shape or form.

Amen on that. I have been there in the hematologists office also, with my own ailments.

 

[Irresistible]

girl, all I'm gonna say is nothing was broken down or explained, just a simple blanket statement.

"when I compare myself to black girls my hair is long"

pretty blanket to me girl!

I just dont see how that even got percieved as healthy thinking and as ok? and yeah , the final post was saying that those of us that did speak up about it were making things up out of nothing and truth hurts and all that? wow

everyone is over explaining a very blanket statment that the original poster didnt even take the time to explain what she meant by it herself. I mean she might have litterally meant just what it said " when I compare myself to "black girls" my hair is long"

I dont know, maybe its just me (and a few others that seemed to have felt the same way about her blanket statment) whatever the case girl , I said all i can say, really.

But again your speakin from your heart and perception, not hers, cause that was never really even made clear by her. But she was saying she felt good about her when viewing a specific group of people" black girls" and she then said she doesnt feel good about it based on another group"non blacks"

I dont see how that thinking could be promoted. Even by those that do it too . Ok just say its not about superiority/inferiority......why do that to yourself? None of our hair is EVER gonna be the same. EVER. so why wouldnt others promote her accepting her hair for what it is and not by comparison to anyone? anyway, It was a very blanket statment. and even one poster said "it was her choice of wording" if nothing else shouldnt/couldnt that be pointed out? without it being those that spoke up making up something. How did that just get smoothed over? is all I'm saying.

anyway, I said all I can, I digress.

whew, I'm ok with me and how I think , and percieve things , just reached out my hand to help someone else think diferently. when I revisited the thread I just couldnt believe how it just all got glossed over, thats all. then she said (and others) said we werent speaking the truth or facing it? WTH????. whew, let me just on and go LOLOL

for real I gotta get outta here, I will never fully get stuff like this

Irresistable, I don't think there are any good guys or bad guys here. We just perceive what she said differently. I, too, compare my hair to other black women's hair. But that doesn't mean I compare in a negative way. It's just an observation, not a judgment. If there is any judgement involved its usually, "Wow, I would love to pull her aside and talk to her about hair care." So it's an issue of concern. Or, "Wow, she's got beautiful hair." I personally see very few African American women in my community with hair as long as mine. Does that make me feel superior or does that divide me from my sisters. Absolutely not. I'm more than willing to share hair care tips if I'm asked.

 

[hopeful]

I feel you Irresistible, preach girl!

And California, I feel you too, because feelin' bald-headed when you have a head full of hair must be a b*****. I think we are all going through our own transformations and learning day by day about ourselves and our hair. In time those feelings will probably subside. That fact that you are a concerned and frustrated with some of these feelings is half the battle.

My hair is no where near as long as yours or many of the ladies on this board but for some reason I never feel bald-headed. What I've come to realize is that I am different and I can't take credit for it other than I'm just that way, I rarely compare myself to others. But from my experience, most people do and that's just the way it is.

Enjoy your pretty long hair.
:Rose:

 

[Mariaat40]

I was going to add this to my original post but decided I didn't want to go into all of this. I write curriculum for a living and have spent a lot of time studying the brain and how people think and learn. The brain naturally puts what it sees into categories. It's the way the brain makes sense of the world. It's normal and natural to notice differences and similarities between us and other people. Not just hair length but age, height, all those visible things. What matters is what happens after that observation. I still contend that comparing hair length is not necessarily divisive, or even somehow gloriying hair. But on this we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[Cichelle]

Irresistible, all I can say it thank you. I needed to read that.

 

[Irresistible]

I fully agree that this process takes place in all of us. And your right its how that information is processed once taken in that matters. And she said, she feels like she has long hair compared to black girls, and feels bald headed compared to non blacks(thats the after part right there).....that kinda sounds to me like an inferiorty/superiority type thing, that in the end can only be damaging to her, her self image and perception or anyone around her, really, thats just how I see it.

I think the offense didnt happen with her feelings (Thats where everyone tried to step in and help her perception) the offense happened with the wording "compared to black girls"

well we could go into a 30 page thread about how one might take in that statement as a whole. So the same thing happened with some of us, we took in something and noticed it and what mattered is what we did with it after. and some of us were a little(or alot) taken back by the whole 'blanket statement" about our race as a whole??? not the best choice of words is all. Maybe thats how she feels though , compared to all black girls. Thats crazy to me though, sorry it just is.

She couldnt stand in a group of black women and make that statment" compared to yall's hair my hair is long" LOL those women would look at her like she had two head......well she kinda just did the same thing by posting that here, and thats what some of us did.

we were like HUH? but then got told we werent facing some truth, thats where I ended up just wanting to speak up.

I was going to add this to my original post but decided I didn't want to go into all of this. I write curriculum for a living and have spent a lot of time studying the brain and how people think and learn. The brain naturally puts what it sees into categories. It's the way the brain makes sense of the world. It's normal and natural to notice differences and similarities between us and other people. Not just hair length but age, height, all those visible things. What matters is what happens after that observation. I still contend that comparing hair length is not necessarily divisive, or even somehow gloriying hair. But on this we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[California]

I fully agree that this process takes place in all of us. And your right its how that information is processed once taken in that matters. And she said, she feels like she has long hair compared to black girls, and feels bald headed compared to non blacks(thats the after part right there).....that kinda sounds to me like an inferiorty/superiority type thing, that in the end can only be damaging to her, her self image and perception or anyone around her, really, thats just how I see it.

I think the offense didnt happen with her feelings (Thats where everyone tried to step in and help her perception) the offense happened with the wording "compared to black girls"

well we could go into a 30 page thread about how one might take in that statement as a whole. So the same thing happened with some of us, we took in something and noticed it and what mattered is what we did with it after. and some of us were a little(or alot) taken back by the whole 'blanket statement" about our race as a whole??? not the best choice of words is all. Maybe thats how she feels though , compared to all black girls. Thats crazy to me though, sorry it just is.

She couldnt stand in a group of black women and make that statment" compared to yall's hair my hair is long" LOL those women would look at her like she had two head......well she kinda just did the same thing by posting that here, and thats what some of us did.

we were like HUH? but then got told we werent facing some truth, thats where I ended up just wanting to speak up.

Ooookaaaay....

 

[Irresistible]

Girl nevermind , just a bunch of folks debating a totally useless point (at least it seems to be to you) on a thread you started......

But anyway, I dont know when I willl learn??

I do hope you find a way to stop comparing your hair to others though, especially when the end result is so negative for you. Really

Peace

Ooookaaaay....

 

[California]

Girl nevermind , just a bunch of folks debating a totally useless point (at least it seems to be to you) on a thread you started......

But anyway, I dont know when I willl learn??

I do hope you find a way to stop comparing your hair to others though, especially when the end result is so negative for you. Really

Peace

Please, you on some hype.

 

[wyldcurlz]

And Irresistible - I'M SOOOOO GLAD you have your fotki, your group and post here to share your ideas, tips and philosphies! you and your hair are inspirational! thing is, its taken us soooo long (as black women) to arrive at a point where we know our own hair and the thing is, so few (those on this groups excluded) of us truly understand how great our hair is and can be! But, we're winning them over one by one - slowly but surely!

yes I have an online album, I'm on here and have my group. yes i have taken a ton of hair pics. But me in my daily life???? I'm low key and not bothering to obsess over my hair or anyone's else's. other than to make sure I take good care of it. My every day life? please my hair is in a bun and length is a non issue. I have been through all aspects of hair issues and victories at this point. and found out in the end really its only hair? it doesnt define us nor can we really use it as a way to feel superior or inferior, this thinking is ridiculous to me now. So there was no way in God's creation I at this point would pat someone on the back for the ill thinking and perception of comparing themselves to others. This is why I created this album
http://public.fotki.com/IRRISISTABLBTCH/lies_lies_lies/

Because I truly hate all hair division! I dont say it, I mean it! I cant believe this way of thinking just got smoothed over like that

anyway, girl, back to you...enjoy your hair , stop letting other's hair control and/or dictate how you see the beauty of your own hair God gave you!!! I mean it , its not even promised to still be there tommorow. Do what you want to with your hair!!!!

stop the madness ya'll

 

[lovechic]

LOL

you just go and click on a thread and find yourself in the middle of some sh uhh stuff

LOL!

 

[Irresistible]

Yup your right

You have so much hair compared to all black girls and your bald headed compared to all non blacks. your right so just go on and feel that way every single day, like you got so much hair one day, or your bald headed the next compared to others. Do you girl. whatever works!

I'm just tripppin really

*steppin out this sh uhhh thread*

Please, you on some hype.

 

[mizbizzyb]

I think it is a division to a degree. I don't think my hair is nothing special, but when I hear my sisters saying they wished they had my hair, I just laugh, cause I'd trade them in a heartbeat! I think if we can be content with what we have it wouldn't be a problem. I myself don't understand the big obsession with the length of hair. Rock your hair no matter what length it is. My hair is half-way between shoulders and bra-strap, but I tell ya I've seen some styles that have me calling my beautician saying, "I think I wanna cut if off again".

And why do blacks have to be perceived as "bald heads"? There are quite a few whites that cannot grow their hair. I don't hear nobody in their race referring to them as bald heads. I think it goes back to "ooooh, she got some good hair" "oooh her stuff is brillo nappy" etc. So what it's hair. Its gonna be different, no different than our body make-ups. Some got bigger hips than others....who cares...

Just my 1 1/2 cents

 

[California]

Yup your right

You have so much hair compared to all black girls and your bald headed compared to all non blacks. your right so just go on and feel that way every single day, like you got so much hair one day, or your bald headed the next compared to others. Do you girl. whatever works!

I'm just tripppin really

*steppin out this sh uhhh thread*

Somebody need to take their meds. It ain't that serious!!

 

[1Specialk]

Somebody need to take their meds. It ain't that serious!!

Cali, ignore and move on. I'm glad that you, me and others realise that it is not that serious

 

[hopeful]

Somebody need to take their meds. It ain't that serious!!

@Irresistible...girl, I know two things. You know it's not that serious. And two, you are one of the sanest (sp?) and sweetest people I know. You are such an incredible inspiration to many of us. Some people don't listen, some people don't care and some people don't agree, and that is okay. But I get your overall message and I'm glad you care, have such a big heart, and the courage to speak your mind. :Rose:

 

[Annakei]

WOW this thread has really developed since I last visisted. I can understand both sides of the argument. On one had some of you identify with her feeling like she is wanting more hair and not appreciating what she has now eventhough it is past her shoulders. Then the other side mainly disagrees with the language used in her post.

I identify more with the latter. I think I will always feel like there is SOMETHING to do with my hair. Someone posted the other day what do you do when you have reached your hair goal....I think there are some of us that still may not be satisfied....and there isnt any problem with that. Its minor compared to other problems.

I think for me it was the original language used that caught my attention. "compared to black girls"..."baldheaded"...."other races". We all know that language like that creates a sense of division within the races. Furthermore, it presents a sense of inferiority/superiority from the OP. I dont think that we should get wrapped up in defending our points but listen to each posed and if you remain steadfast to your own, cool. But to get all riled up makes no sense. Its the internet. Just learn from her mistake in the use of language used to convey her point. I totally get what she was trying to say, but she should have been more straightfoward instead of (consciously or unconsciously) adding the charged language.

I highly doubt that the OP would make that comment out loud in a group of black women. Then again, that is quintessentially what she did hence spurring the current debate.

 

[California]

Hey I'm a Sista, you all are Sistas and if we can't talk our talk with each other and be on the up and up, keeping it "Real" like we do with each other, then how are we to come up in here and say what's the deal without being ridiculed for it?! Lets move on, yall know what I was saying, and it ain't nothing but love. As a Black woman I kicks it real with my Sistas, I got enough of putting on a facade for society that I'm "Safe" with my words, and I don't and I won't do it in the comfort of my own Sistas anywhere, and neither should any of us.

Peace and Hairgrease!!!

Lets grow, grow, grow and never have to buy another ponytail from the BSS again. BTW, I don't feel negative about what I see, and today I feel long, tomorrow may be different. I'm on a mission to get this hair, success, Spirituality in my life right where I want it. I hope that we all get what we want in life and to keep upgrading once we've reached one goal. Black Women are Powerful and we deserve the very best!!

One Love.

 

[Irresistible]

Thank you sweetie

most folks know me around here girl I aint worried about not a one that dont girl.

some threads you just shouldnt even botha with girl LOL

I will get that one day , really I will hehe

I got quite a few PM's, so if the point wasnt made to the OP , it sure was to, and appreciated by quite a few others. so if for no other reason than that I'm glad I posted on this thread!

she can be on here own thang if she wants to

hopeful

@Irresistible...girl, I know two things. You know it's not that serious. And two, you are one of the sanest (sp?) and sweetest people I know. You are such an incredible inspiration to many of us. Some people don't listen, some people don't care and some people don't agree, and that is okay. But I get your overall message and I'm glad you care, have such a big heart, and the courage to speak your mind. :Rose:

 

[Irresistible]

Gurrrl dats what I was said too

tee hee hee

please, It came across almost as total disassociation from the whole race. (the wording) anyway all responses back to me have been nothing more than ignorant and childish at this point. So I'm done really.

every single person (myself included) posted to her to help her with her perception and about doing that to herself with her thinking about her hair and comparing. But in the end it was US (*anybody that said anything about the specific wording she used*) that were denying some truth or making something up, that was the trip to me. really!

This thread is a bust, really a waste of time, and nothing more at this point from what I see

WOW this thread has really developed since I last visisted. I can understand both sides of the argument. On one had some of you identify with her feeling like she is wanting more hair and not appreciating what she has now eventhough it is past her shoulders. Then the other side mainly disagrees with the language used in her post.

I identify more with the latter. I think I will always feel like there is SOMETHING to do with my hair. Someone posted the other day what do you do when you have reached your hair goal....I think there are some of us that still may not be satisfied....and there isnt any problem with that. Its minor compared to other problems.

I think for me it was the original language used that caught my attention. "compared to black girls"..."baldheaded"...."other races". We all know that language like that creates a sense of division within the races. Furthermore, it presents a sense of inferiority/superiority from the OP. I dont think that we should get wrapped up in defending our points but listen to each posed and if you remain steadfast to your own, cool. But to get all riled up makes no sense. Its the internet. Just learn from her mistake in the use of language used to convey her point. I totally get what she was trying to say, but she should have been more straightfoward instead of (consciously or unconsciously) adding the charged language.

I highly doubt that the OP would make that comment out loud in a group of black women. Then again, that is quintessentially what she did hence spurring the current debate.

 

[California]

This thread is a bust, really a waste of time, and nothing more at this point from what I see

Its not a bust, that's why you've posted here more than anybody. Be safe and take good care of yourself.

One.