I wore my hair down at work today...

[Supergirl]

for the first time all school year. Well, you guys already knows what happens when people are used to seeing your hair up and then you let it down. Weave suspicions(even touching it to see), compliments, hater-stares, blah, blah, blah

But someone made the comment that I might "get a husband" if I'd wear my hair down. Another co-worker made the same comment last year. My thing is this--do I want to attract a man with my hair? I mean, isn't that what they're saying? What the crap kind of relationship can I have if the foundation for why he wants me is my hair? Or am I acting like I have a stick up my butt and just need to realize that because men are visually stimulated then the physical appearance is what will attract them first.

What do you chicas think?

 

[Tracy]

I think the latter Supergirl. But I don't think you have a stick up your butt.

It's natural to react as you did to the comment that was made - esp if it was made that way....

But I think men are visually stimulated - particularly by blatant , unequivocal displays of femininity - and ultra long hair is one. I don't think it would necessarily be negative attention either.

 

[Armyqt]

Girl I KNOW you had them wowed with all that beautiful hair you have. As far as the man thing, yeah looks attract, but more importantly, the confidence you exude regardless of how your hair is styled. for example, I feel more sexy, confident when my hair is out and flowing vs when it's in a bun. I'm more likely to attract others becuase I feel more beautiful. It's totally up to you. You can attract a man regardless of your hair style. And no, I don't don't thnk it's superficial if more men are attracted to you becuase of your beautiful hair. Looks attract, then as you get to know each other, you learn about what each possess inwardly.

 

[miss_a]

Exactly Armyqt and Tracy! SO wear that beautiful hair down Superhair. Although I WILL NOT be held liable for all the traffic jams in the DFW area.

And yes, Ms. Tracy, I am getting back to work on this appellate brief!

A.

 

[Lorraine]

SuperGirl your hair is awesome. Let the haters wonder! LOL

 

[Erica78]

Sounds like the woman that said that to you is suffering from a severe case of hair envy!

They saw your long healthy hair and didn't know what to say...so they said something so silly. If a man is attracted to a woman just because of her hair...who would want that kind of relationship? It would never last.

 

[Tracy]

LOL! @ Miss-a -

girl that makes one of us. My book is reading ME right now. I might as well just go home.

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
I feel more sexy, confident when my hair is out and flowing vs when it's in a bun.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I would have to say the same on this

 

[Nay]

Umm, you might get more attention, sure, 'cause your hair is beautiful. But the right fella will fall for you (In my opinion) whether your hair is up, down, or sideways

When I met my husband, I was not looking my 100% best. And, shoot, there was plenty of "competition" around. But to this day my sweetie tells me I was the purtiest girl there.

Anyway, you keep wowing them at work with your hair. Not because you are on a manhunt, but just because you can!! And let the haters stare

 

[Spagirl]

Off topic: I just peeped your link and saw your 2/04 pic. Supergirl, your hair is absolutely gorgeous!

Your hair is definitely an "Extra" attention getter.

Extra because you already have it going on.

For the haters!

 

[diamondlady]

SuperGirl

What made her think you're trying to get a husband? People make me sick thinking every woman in the world that doesn't have a husband is looking for one. And I, like you, don't think hair should mean anything. I've met you and you would be beautiful if you were bald headed.

When I was single, I met one guy who said his woman had to have long hair, and I said "Goodbye". I thought he was shallow and stupid.

 

[Supergirl]

Good question DL--and actually I'm one of the rare women that's kind of afraid of marriage (trying to work through that right now, but that's another subject

)

But I'm in agreement with you--everybody's not looking for a husband.

 

[Kaela]

You have to realize that the reason that the coworker made a comment like that is NOT to provide you with some sort of helpful information, but as a way to get a jab at you, a way to say something with a negative intention and hide it in "advice."

 

[brickhouse]

I dated a guy once and he said my best feature was my hair and not for me to cut it. His best feature is that he is gone.

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
brickhouse said:
I dated a guy once and he said my best feature was my hair and not for me to cut it. His best feature is that he is gone.

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Isis]

[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
brickhouse said:
I dated a guy once and he said my best feature was my hair and not for me to cut it. His best feature is that he is gone.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
On the other side of the coin, I dated a guy once who insisted that I shave my head because he thought bald women are sexy. Had to let him go too.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
Isis said:
[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
brickhouse said:
I dated a guy once and he said my best feature was my hair and not for me to cut it. His best feature is that he is gone.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
On the other side of the coin, I dated a guy once who insisted that I shave my head because he thought bald women are sexy. Had to let him go too.

[/ QUOTE ]

no offense to bad people but....

 

[ccd]

wow! your hair is incredible!.. thick and shiny

 

[Allandra]

I agree with Tracy and Army.

 

[Selene]

Ditto, I agree with Tracy, Army QT, and Allandra. But it sounds like someone at your job had a glass of haterade. Supergirl, you are a beautiful girl with the bun or with the long flowing hair. Shake those haters off.

 

[Lindy]

[ QUOTE ]
brickhouse said:
I dated a guy once and he said my best feature was my hair and not for me to cut it. His best feature is that he is gone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Years ago, when I cut my hair short (ear length) one of my male friends said "Why did you do that??? Your hair was my favorite thing about you..."

HOW RUDE!!!

 

[Chichi]

[ QUOTE ]
blaxalrose said:
Ditto, I agree with Tracy, Army QT, and Allandra. But it sounds like someone at your job had a glass of haterade. Supergirl, you are a beautiful girl with the bun or with the long flowing hair. Shake those haters off.

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA. You worked long and hard for that length, so go ahead and enjoy your accomplishments!

Chichi

 

[kandyland]

Oh my god....just had this discussion with my co-worker he said once I cut my relaxed hair off, I won't have as many people attracted to me...I said that's fine. I understand that a person's appearance is what attracts men first but I'm sorry I don't want a man who is so shallow to say he won't take a second glance at me because my hair is short and/or natural...my hair changed but my face didn't.........jeez.....

But back on the topic supergirl....they just hatin...
shake 'hem off......

 

[kandyland]

Oh my god....just had this discussion with my co-worker he said once I cut my relaxed hair off, I won't have as many people attracted to me...I said that's fine. I understand that a person's appearance is what attracts men first but I'm sorry I don't want a man who is so shallow to say he won't take a second glance at me because my hair is short and/or natural...my hair changed but my face didn't.........jeez.....

But back on the topic supergirl....they just hatin...
shake 'hem off......

 

[cardinalfire]

Yeah when my hair was bra-strap length and relaxed and I would rock that rollerset, I would get all sorts of attention, that just blew me away. I couldn't walk down the street without being followed by some guys in a car. Who wouldn't want that kind of attention (every so often, anyway?)

The truth is, it's ok to be classically beautiful and attract attention, even if you aren't necessarily looking for it. There is nothing wrong with it inherintly, but it's true, it is lacking in substance when it comes to finding a true mate. It might increase the quantity of prospects, but certainly not the quality. I had the most quality men I think approach me, when I was rockin the TWA. I think they were attracted to the confidence that it represented, and unconventionality.

Anyway, it's ok to like the attention. I remember having to give myself permission to like being hooted at!

 

[jasmin]

Are these people not thinking? I mean with all that hair in a bun you can see that your hair is long as h*ll. I use to worry about people hating on me but now I don’t care. Just feel good about your accomplishments (beauty) and don’t let those people make you feel any differently. I’m sure you don’t anyway.

I remember my friend who was mixed came to visit me at school and she had curly long hair and she mostly wore it in a ponytail. To me it’s pretty obvious that she’s mixed (Puerto Rican and black) and her hair is real but they just wanted to make themselves feel better by saying it’s a weave. Haters make me laugh now.

 

[webby]

Supergirl,

My hair was about the same length as yours before I cut it off (I'm bending over...please, kick hard) and I have to admit that more men: white, black, etc, did pay more attention to me.

I could be out in my PJs to just dump the trash and some guy would have a comment. My hair was long when I got married, but I cut off about 12 inches on evening and eventually cut it supershort, until I learned how to care for it myself.

Ironically, my husband prefers my hair in a chin-length bob; I have a long, narrow face and he says that I always hide behind my hair when it's long.

I'm not going to lie...I love him, but I'm currently letting my hair grow out of the halle berry cut that I had a year ago. He better take lots of pics, because I'm going back to long hair.

 

[missykeyana]

Girl I just broke up with my man over my hair! He didn't want me with naps, I got them anyway, we tried to work it out, and we couldn't.

Maybe we'll get it together, but until then...

Okay my point is don't worry bout no man! They are so fickle anyway, they don't even know what they want!

 

[sengschick]

I agree with Kaela, this woman was being catty. None of that was for your benefit, she was just disappointed that she hadn't spotted out your weave.

Plus there's an allure to keeping your hair up that men also find attractive. When you take it down it'll be extra special.

And you'll know he loves you for you and it's not predicated on something superficial.

 

[renee_n_3000]

Supergirl,

I know it's too late for this response now and I'm certain I wouldn't have thought of it or been able to say it myself at the moment if it had been me, but I wish you'd said to her, "And what makes you think men don't approach me when my hair is up?"

I don't wear my hair up often but when I do, it doesn't stop men from approaching. I'd bet the same is true for you. For her to say that to you was just rude and I agree with someone else that it was a dig at you not being married rather than being helpful 'advice.'

Good grief, I am constantly amazed at how rude some people are. I can't imagine living my life that way.

That said, I think that if you would truly like to wear your hair down more, you should. I know it's not the popular opinion here, but I'm one of those people who doesn't think women should feel they need to keep their pretty hair up in a bun so much. I've worn my hair down most of the time since I was about 10 years old (for over 20 years now) and it's remained long and healthy.