ok so i havnt posted/been on here in like forever it feels likeso ill talk like im a newbie. I am relaxed at this moment and idk if i want to keep relaxing or go natural. both of them have their pros and cons. i have been natural once and the only reason i relaxed was because i was impatient and it was short and i dont look good with short hair so for length i relaxed. right now i have a weave in as a PS (straight) and I am getting kinky curly next so i can see which one i like the most on me. but aside from that i want to dye my hair pink and purple and do cute cuts and stuff like that but i dont think it will look good on my 4a hair natural hair. im sorry if your confused but basically idk if i should relax or stay natural. im sooo tired of relaxers but the styles i want require straight hair do u guys have any suggestions???
You relaxed because you wanted long hair and were impatient. Relaxing just stretched your hair to make it look longer but the growth rate was going to be the same. Methinks you should've thrown on a wig or full weave for length and then straightened your hair after a while so that you wouldn't have been making a permanent change that you now regret. But that is neither here nor there, since it's water under the bridge; just mentioning it so that you can consider it next time.
Color can look good on natural hair, although I can't say those colors would be appealing to me, but maybe to another. The problem with wanting to do so much--change colors when the mood hits--is you will damage your hair. This is where wigs or weaves would come in handy. You can abuse the fake hair all your want, while keeping your own hair in good shape.
Why are you tired of relaxers? I don't follow. Except for touch ups, what other "WORK" is there to wear you out so that you're "tired"? Natural hair will also require some work from you so it's not like you will get to rest. (Not trying to be funny; just trying to figure out what it is about relaxers that has you fed up.)
My suggestion is you keep wearing weaves (I wish Reniece could hook you up)...and enjoy the various styles you can do. You can transition in them and in between them, get to familiarize yourself with your texture and how to handle it at different lengths. Then you can decide if you really want to continue transitioning or just stretch your relaxer.
I also think you need to really look deep inside and ask L.Brown what it is SHE wants. Not what looks cool to her friends or gets the most praise, but what it is that makes you feel sexy and feminine and happy, and go for that. If it's long natural hair, fake it till you make it by PSing your own hair and showcasing nice cute weaves/wigs. If it's long flowing relaxed hair, then go for it and ignore all the people who seem to be having a blast transitioning. Methinks you get swayed by what's going on around you or on the forum. IIRC, when you went natural, you seemed so overwhelmed. I think taking the time to know your hair and to see what IT can do, not trying to make it do what someone else's hair did when they used X product...but really seeing what it is YOUR hair does...will make you start to enjoy it more, regardless of what you're doing.
With permission (yes I asked), I would like to share this photo of Tapioca Pudding's hair (Focus on the pic to the right). I am so in love with this do that I'm about to hurt her for not knowing how it is that she creates the diamond shapes. Apparently it wasn't deliberate but isn't this pretty?
Now if her hair was longer, she'd have missed out on this part of the journey when she was able to show off this look and make me a "hater". I mean I can't even try the style anymore coz I'm past that length and don't want to cut my hair so...and wouldn't even know how to do. I'm getting mad again that I didn't think or create that style first.
The hair journey should not be a race but an adventure whereby you get to enjoy every step of the journey so much so that you don't miss it when it's gone. You just need to explore what it is you can do with it at that stage so that you don't get bored or frustrated.
Whatever your length, there are many at that length who can offer suggestions and your job then is to give those suggestions a try...not all of them, but just pick one that seems doable. If it doesn't work, then try the next one.
Imagine if you would just leave your hair alone and just learn all you can about weaves (I hear BHM is the place for that)...you would just wake up one day with hair down your back that was healthy but you would not have missed out on all the things you are in a hurry to do, along the way.
Since the beginning of my transition, I have engrossed myself in You tube videos. I have learn how to 2 strand twist and flat twist. Cornrows are hard, but I will learn eventually. I have recently learned how to roller set my hair and it gets really strait. I also love strait styles. You can either roller set your natural hair or flat iron. You can do the same strait styles with natural hair. Don't let that hold you back!
